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After Xu Jia left, Lin Zhenbang sat alone in his study for a long time.
After seeing Xu Jia off, Lin Ruoyin, still basking in the joy of introducing her boyfriend to her parents, returned to her study, sat on the sofa opposite Lin Zhenbang, and asked expectantly, "Dad, what do you think of him?"
“A very thoughtful young man.” Lin Zhenbang spoke slowly, his tone calm, revealing no hint of praise or criticism. “He’s also good-looking, and clean-cut.”
Lin Ruoyin's eyes lit up: "Right!"
Lin Zhenbang looked at her excited expression, his eyes darkened, and he looked at her clearly and said, "But, Ruoyin, you two are not suitable."
Lin Ruoyin's smile froze instantly.
After a long pause, Lin Ruoyin finally spoke: "Why?"
“Because you two are from two different worlds.” Lin Zhenbang said directly, without beating around the bush. “What can he give you?” Lin Zhenbang glanced at the necklace Lin Ruoyin was wearing around her neck. “Being with him now means wearing cheap jewelry, but later you might be living in a rented apartment. Is this the life you want?”
"Dad!" Lin Ruoyin stood up, her voice rising with excitement, "Xu Jia is talented, he will definitely succeed in the future."
Lin Zhenbang also stood up, looking sternly at his daughter. "I'm not denying his talent. But reality is reality. The path of art is fraught with peril, and I can't watch you gamble your youth on a vague and uncertain future."
"You were so nice when they were here," Lin Ruoyin said angrily, her voice filled with stubbornness and grievance. "But as soon as they left, you turned on them. What I hate most is your insincere and snobbish attitude."
"Ruoyin!"
“I like him, I want to be with him, I’m happy when I’m with him, I think we’re a good match, that’s enough.”
“Happiness?” Lin Zhenbang wasn’t angered by his daughter’s willful remarks. Instead, his tone carried a weariness born of worldly experience. “Can happiness put food on the table? You think you can live on love and water right now because you haven’t truly experienced the pressures of life. When you have to worry about rent and utilities every day, be anxious about next month’s paint money, and feel disappointed because you can’t afford the clothes and jewelry you like, will you still think happiness is enough?”
He took a step closer, his tone softening slightly, but still carrying an undeniable firmness: "Ruoyin, Dad is doing this for your own good. You're still young, it's fine to date, but don't take it too seriously. Marrying someone of equal social standing is very important, and you two won't end up together."
Lin Ruoyin was momentarily speechless. She took a deep breath and said to Lin Zhenbang, "I am serious about Xu Jia. There is no such thing as 'not dating'."
Lin Zhenbang paused for a moment, then said, "Alright, since you insist, starting this month, I will no longer give you living expenses. Perhaps after you truly experience hardship, you will know how to make the right choice."
Lin Ruoyin was incredulous, but stubbornly replied, "Whatever."
Lin Zhenbang kept his word.
Not only did they stop giving Lin Ruoyin living expenses, they even froze her credit card.
At first, I had my previous savings to fall back on, so my life wasn't affected much. But gradually, the balance in my card started to decrease.
Lin Ruoyin realized that this couldn't go on, so she started looking for part-time jobs in her spare time.
The jewelry design curriculum was already demanding, and she didn't want to waste time with Xu Jia, so she could only squeeze out bits of free time. She worked part-time at a coffee shop near the school, did weekend promotions at a shopping mall, and even took on some simple jewelry design freelance work. Although the pay wasn't high, it was better than nothing.
Life suddenly became tight. She could no longer buy the latest art supplies as she pleased, could no longer treat friends to meals whenever she wanted, and even had to think twice before taking a taxi. But she didn't tell Xu Jia that she was still happy every time they met.
But Xu Jia was not unaware of it.
He noticed that Lin Ruoyin had been in a hurry lately, and her lifestyle had changed.
They no longer pay as much attention to their appearance, and they hesitate more often when buying things.
But these minor anomalies were easily overshadowed by her radiant smile and her endless stream of anecdotes about campus life.
Until that Saturday afternoon.
He had just returned from sketching by the lake behind the art building when a familiar figure practically rushed down the steps of the teaching building on the side.
It is Lin Ruoyin.
She walked quickly, almost running, heading straight for the school gate, completely unaware of Xu Jia not far away.
"Ruoyin," Xu Jia called out to her.
Lin Ruoyin seemed to pause for a moment, glancing sideways in the direction of the sound, but she didn't stop walking. Perhaps it was because of the distance, perhaps it was because of the noise around her, or perhaps she was too rushed with something on her mind. She only glanced vaguely in his direction, her face showing a kind of anxious urgency, before turning back and quickening her pace to merge into the crowd flowing towards the school gate, disappearing around the corner in the blink of an eye.
Xu Jia stood there, his brows slightly furrowed.
As if possessed, he stopped shouting and instead started walking, following after them from a distance.
After passing through the school gate and crossing two intersections, Lin Ruoyin turned into a street lined with many unique shops and cafes. Xu Jia watched as she stopped in front of a cafe, took a couple of quick breaths, wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand, checked her clothes, and then pushed open the glass door.
Xu Jia walked across the street and saw the scene inside the coffee shop through its large floor-to-ceiling windows.
Lin Ruoyin deftly put on a brown apron, tying the straps as she spoke quickly to a man behind the counter, who wore a bow tie and seemed to be the manager, apologetic and obediently smiling. Then, she turned and picked up a rag, deftly wiping the empty tables near the window. The afternoon sun streamed through the glass, illuminating her slightly sweaty nose and focused profile.
She was there, dressed in a simple T-shirt and jeans, a style quite different from her usual look, with an apron stained with coffee, working busily and skillfully in the small shop. Sometimes she would bend down to record customers' orders, sometimes she would operate the coffee machine behind the counter, the rising steam blurring her features for a fleeting moment.
Xu Jia stood across the street, quietly watching the familiar yet unfamiliar figure inside the glass window, watching her occasionally give customers a standard but slightly tired smile, and watching her quietly raise her hand to rub her lower back during a break.
...
With her back to the door, Lin Ruoyin tiptoed slightly as she carefully placed a new can of coffee beans into the tall storage cabinet.
I heard the sound of a glass door being pushed open.
She turned around with a professional smile, ready to greet the guest, but her smile froze instantly when she saw the familiar figure at the door.
Xu Jia stood there.
Lin Ruoyin looked at him with undisguised surprise and panic, "Xu Jia...you...why are you here?"
Xu Jia looked quietly at her, whose gaze was somewhat evasive. "And you? What are you doing here?"
Lin Ruoyin hadn't expected to be seen by Xu Jia, and her mind was already blank. With Xu Jia looking so serious, Lin Ruoyin couldn't think of a better reason, so she could only laugh awkwardly and say, "I... I'm working part-time to experience life."
"Experience life?" he repeated, his voice soft, his expression still serious.
The atmosphere was somewhat heavy.
The guests all turned their gazes toward it.
Lin Ruoyin took his arm and tried to pull him outside, saying, "Let's talk outside, so as not to disturb their business."
Stepping out of the coffee shop, the evening breeze carried a chill.
Xu Jia stopped first, turned around to face her, and stared intently at her face: "Lin Ruoyin, look at me."
Lin Ruoyin raised her head and met his eyes, where the probing and worry made her nowhere to hide.
"Something happened at your home..." He paused, seemingly choosing his words carefully, "or...because of me?"
He spoke the last three words softly, yet they struck Lin Ruoyin's heart like a hammer blow. Looking into the clear expression in his eyes, she knew there was no going back.
Her voice lowered: "My dad... stopped paying my allowance."
Although he had a premonition, Xu Jia's heart still sank when he heard it with his own ears.
"Because of me?" he pressed, his voice a little hoarse.
"No, no, it has nothing to do with you. I argued with him, and he got angry, that's why he acted like this."
"What's all the noise about?" Xu Jia asked, his gaze fixed on her.
Lin Ruoyin bit her lip and remained silent.
Xu Jia had already guessed most of it.
That day at the Lin family home, the last look Lin Zhenbang gave him, and Lin Ruoyin's unusual behavior these past few days.
“It’s because of me, isn’t it?” he whispered, not as a question, but as a statement.
Lin Ruoyin panicked and grabbed his arm: "Hey, don't think nonsense. My dad only cares about money, money, money. Whatever, I'm doing great now. I learn a lot every day and can earn money to buy the things I like. I feel better than before, and my life is very fulfilling."
She tried her best to make her smile look bright, her eyes sparkling, as if she were truly enjoying herself.
But Xu Jia saw the weariness deep in her eyes and her reddened fingers.
Not only that, he also recalled a day when she preferred to walk an extra twenty minutes to save on taxi fare, which resulted in her heels becoming red and chafed.
His Ruoyin, the girl who should have been carefree in her sunny art studio, playing with gems and having a discerning taste and endless choices in life, is now wiping tables and serving dishes in a coffee shop to make ends meet, and she has to force a smile and tell him that she is very fulfilled.
A strong sense of heartache and helplessness, mixed with a kind of wounded pride, entwined his heart like vines.
"I'm sorry," he heard his own hoarse voice.
Lin Ruoyin was stunned: "Why are you apologizing? What does this have to do with you?"
“It’s related.” Xu Jia looked at her, something struggling violently deep in his eyes. “I shouldn’t have let you… live this kind of life.”
“I don’t think this is ‘this kind of life’.” Lin Ruoyin was a little angry, and her voice rose. “I don’t want you to feel sorry for me either. This is my own choice. I said I feel very fulfilled, and this is what I really think. I don’t want another person who, under the guise of doing what’s best for me, forces me to give up the people and things I like.”
She spoke with unwavering resolve, her eyes stubborn yet sincere.
Xu Jia was deeply moved. He knew she was sincere. But it was precisely this sincerity that made him feel even more guilty and made him see more clearly the harsh reality that stood between them.
Lin Zhenbang's words echoed in his ears like a curse.
What can he give her?
He can't even make her not have to work hard in her spare time.
That evening, Xu Jia returned to his studio, but instead of picking up his brush as usual, he sat in front of the easel, looking at the unfinished wasteland on the canvas, and for the first time felt lost.
He picked up his paintbrush, dipped it in paint, and wanted to finish the painting, but the tip of the brush hovered in mid-air, unable to fall for a long time.
Is there any real meaning in drawing these?
This was the first time such a voice had rang in Xu Jia's mind.
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