Chapter 29. Satisfying Personal Desires
He Peiru suddenly felt that the complicated feelings she had had while waiting for Gu Zhaoqian's reply no longer mattered.
The frequency of breathing is completely taken away by an emotion called tension, and the mind becomes unsettled as a result.
From a time perspective, it was just a normal wait, but He Peiru felt that every second was incredibly long, and she couldn't wait for a new message to pop up in the next second.
She stared blankly at the numbers in the upper left corner of the screen until they started moving, and finally, a new line of text appeared in the message box.
Gu Zhaoqian: [What do you think?]
He Peiru: [I don't know.]
Ultimately, the facts are right in front of her now. Even if she did sense a different kind of feeling, she didn't have the courage to speculate further.
On the contrary, if she knew nothing about it, she might try it regardless of the consequences.
Gu Zhaoqian did not directly answer the question, but instead mentioned the process.
Gu Zhaoqian: [I've been looking for you ever since then, but I haven't heard back.]
Perhaps he felt that typing was not as convenient as speaking directly, so he sent another message.
Gu Zhaoqian: [How about we talk about it over the phone?]
He Peiru disregarded everything else and quickly refused.
He Peiru: [No!]
If Gu Zhaoqian calls, her clumsiness in this matter will obviously make it difficult for her to react immediately, so she will probably have to remain silent most of the time when the conversation continues.
Sending messages through a screen like this gives her some breathing room.
After refusing, He Peiru's thoughts quickly returned to the matter at hand.
He Peiru: [But why did you come looking for me?]
He Peiru: [Also, do my uncles know about those things...?]
Although she couldn't help but feel a surge of girlish infatuation when facing Gu Zhaoqian, rationally speaking, she should first get to the bottom of each question.
Fortunately, the man on the other side of the screen was very patient, and he answered every question she sent seriously.
Gu Zhaoqian: [I didn't tell Uncle Jiang the specifics, I just gave him the general outline.]
Gu Zhaoqian: [The reason I contacted you is because I wanted to satisfy my own selfish desires.]
Once the truth of the past is fully revealed, Gu Zhaoqian has no intention of hiding it any longer. He was already inclined to be honest with He Peiru, so he naturally wants to seize the opportunity at hand.
Before He Peiru could even voice her question, his messages kept popping up.
Gu Zhaoqian: [I'd really like to know how you're doing.]
Gu Zhaoqian: [Secondly, you held an irreplaceable significance for me at that time, so I only wanted to do my best to find you.]
He Peiru never expected what he said. When she was working at Wuyang, she had only met Gu Zhaoqian three times.
They could easily be counted on one hand, yet he described it in such detail.
He Peiru couldn't help but wonder if he had exaggerated.
But then she thought about it again and realized that she herself wasn't much different. It was just that she didn't dare to have any expectations back then, so she buried her thoughts in her heart.
In the end, she learned from Gu Zhaoqian that he was also looking for her. Besides marveling at this coincidence, it seemed that they were the same kind of people, holding similar thoughts.
He Peiru read through the text Gu Zhaoqian sent her again. The impact was not something she could digest in a few moments. Even sitting in her room, she felt it was so ethereal and unreal.
She tried her best not to let her emotions interfere, and instead used this opportunity to continue questioning Gu Zhaoqian.
He Peiru: [But what happened after you found me? Did you have any thoughts or plans?]
She didn't know if she sounded aggressive, or if Gu Zhaoqian could sense her anxious tone through the screen.
Fortunately, he didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with it.
Gu Zhaoqian: [Initially, I just wanted to know how you were doing without knowing the truth, but after I found out you were the person I was looking for, things changed.]
no the same?
He Peiru seemed to have already guessed what he was going to say next, so she suddenly sped up her typing and asked another question to interrupt the topic.
He Peiru: [Then why did you choose to tell me this way?]
Even the timing and attitude with which she unwrapped the gift made it seem as if Gu Zhaoqian had known all along what she would do.
She believed she hadn't revealed herself completely to him.
Looking down, another message popped up.
Gu Zhaoqian: [Just consider this a gamble.]
Even without Gu Zhaoqian explicitly stating it, He Peiru could already deduce many possible scenarios.
Fortunately, Gu Zhaoqian did not explain things too clearly, just as she wished, leaving her plenty of room for imagination.
He Peiru: [...]
She suddenly realized that the more she knew, the heavier her mood became, and nearly seven years of time seemed to resonate at this moment.
He Peiru couldn't help but think of her past self, who had been wary and had blurred or concealed Yu Yin's true information after communicating with her, never imagining that such a situation would occur.
It's not hard to guess that Gu Zhaoqian was mostly relying on that incorrect information, which is why he was looking in the wrong direction.
It turns out that while she was striving for her own life, Gu Zhaoqian was already looking for her at the same time. Due to this twist of fate, Gu Zhaoqian's efforts never yielded any results. If it weren't for Yu Yin's later appearance, the identity of the person from back then would probably still be a mystery.
She tried to clarify her thoughts, and while she was pondering, the man sent her another message.
Gu Zhaoqian: [I still want to talk to you by phone or in person.]
He Peiru refused again without hesitation, reaffirming that if she agreed, she would lose the initiative.
He Peiru: [I still want to calm down first.]
Gu Zhaoqian: [Okay.]
Seeing his promise, He Peiru secretly breathed a sigh of relief.
-
Gu Zhaoqian remained seated in his study, only able to manage a helpless smile as he looked at the message sent by He Peiru.
He feared that if He Peiru found out the truth too late, his actions might be perceived as having something impure in her eyes.
If she stubbornly believes that he is only kind to her because of that "meaning," the misunderstanding will likely be difficult to resolve.
Gu Zhaoqian decided to change his strategy. Since it was too early, he chose to reveal everything directly.
What he was gambling on was how much weight that matter held in He Peiru's heart.
-
He Peiru had no idea what she could do to calm down.
She sank deep into the sofa, repeatedly opening apps on her phone, hoping to distract herself by looking at something else.
She happened to glance at a profile picture on a newly opened social media app, which immediately reminded her of Fang Xiaoxin.
He Peiru: [Xin Xin, are you free now?]
Fang Xiaoxin's speed was comparable to replying in seconds.
Fang Xiaoxin: [I'm free!]
Fang Xiaoxin: [Does Aru have any gossip to share with me?]
Seeing her eagerness, He Peiru knew she had found the right person.
He Peiru: [Are you available to take this call now?]
Fang Xiaoxin didn't reply to her messages anymore, but instead called her directly.
As soon as the call connected, her excited voice came through the receiver: "Let me ask whose gossip it is? Tell me quickly!"
He Peiru thought for a moment, then hesitated before speaking, "It's just... I have a friend."
However, she interrupted him before he could finish his first sentence, saying, "This friend is actually you, isn't it?"
He Peiru stopped abruptly, then couldn't help but sigh, as if giving up on herself, and replied, "That's right, you guessed it, it's me."
"Wait a minute!" There was a rustling sound on Fang Xiaoxin's end, like the sound of running wind coming through the receiver, followed by the sound of a door opening and closing. Finally, she spoke again, "Okay, you can talk now."
"I want to ask you, if you were to unexpectedly run into someone you've wanted to see again for many years, and that person was someone of extraordinary significance to you," He Peiru swallowed, not daring to reveal that the person was Gu Zhaoqian, "what would you do?"
“I’ll see what level of significance it has.” Fang Xiaoxin listened attentively. “But since you’ve come all the way here to ask me, it must be quite something.”
She couldn't help but sigh, "You're right..."
Fang Xiaoxin quickly assumed the role of strategist and asked her step by step, "So, do you know what the other party is thinking?"
This was the most gratifying thing for her, and her tone finally relaxed a little as she replied, "The other party has been looking for me all along."
Upon hearing this answer, Fang Xiaoxin immediately asked in confusion, "I'm not saying this to be mean, but with the capabilities of families like ours, finding you shouldn't be an easy thing. Why did that person only find you now?"
Her tone suddenly shifted to one of slight embarrassment as she replied somewhat awkwardly, "Because I had been vague and concealed my own information back then, so..."
Fang Xiaoxin couldn't help but laugh out loud, but then she deliberately made herself serious and said, "If you put it that way, I think I can understand what you did, but this is just too much of a coincidence..."
“Right?” He Peiru grabbed a cushion from the side and hugged it tightly. “I really didn’t expect it to turn out like this.”
But this interlude wasn't important at the moment. Fang Xiaoxin quickly brought the topic back, sighing, "You two are destined for each other, or you could say you're going for each other... Although I don't know exactly what happened between you, if you have other ideas, you can definitely go for them."
She paused for a moment and smiled, "Especially if you like it, I think you might as well give it a try. Anyway, you don't have to go through an arranged marriage, so you can try to see if there are any other options."
“I thought so too, but I didn’t know.” He Peiru’s doubts needed answers from the outside world. “I’m not sure if the other person approached me out of pity because of my past experiences.”
“I think you should first find out how to confirm this,” Fang Xiaoxin said, softening her tone. “If you just guess from your perspective, it’s not only unfair to the other party, but you might also miss out on a lot because of it.”
Sure enough, when faced with these problems, it was the best thing to confide in Fang Xiaoxin. After asking and answering questions, she was able to sort out her thoughts.
"But..." Seeing that she had covered most of the serious topics, Fang Xiaoxin deliberately lowered her voice and asked, "Can't you tell me who that person is?"
He Peiru pursed her lips and replied, "Not yet."
"Okay." Then she muttered, "How does that person compare to Gu Zhaoqian?"
Hearing the name startled He Peiru, but thankfully she never expected that the person might be Gu Zhaoqian.
However, He Peiru was worried that she might inadvertently expose herself, so she quickly hung up the phone with an excuse.
Living in the Jiang family meant that it wouldn't be easy for her to avoid Gu Zhaoqian, which also meant that the time she could use to calm down was very limited.
Moreover, if Jiang Yici is unaware of the specific circumstances, he might see Gu Zhaoqian at the Jiang family's house again tomorrow.
The thought of her uncle made He Peiru involuntarily frown.
Although Gu Zhaoqian repeatedly claimed that Jiang Yici didn't know much, once she set aside her other emotions and started to calculate based on the timeline, she could conclude that some of Gu Zhaoqian's claims became even more untenable.
Given this, her attitude and reaction when facing Jiang Yici will be another major challenge.
So much happened in just a few hours that even though He Peiru forced herself to stay awake, her mind was still as muddled as paste.
She put down her phone, wanting nothing more than to sleep until the world turned dark.
It seems like this is a way to escape these complicated emotions.
He Peiru slept very restlessly, and none of the thoughts she had before falling asleep came true. When she opened her eyes the next morning, both the lighter and the messages Gu Zhaoqian had sent her immediately came to mind.
She stared blankly at the ceiling, only to realize that she had overlooked an even more important question.
He Peiru didn't even notice that the sky outside was just beginning to lighten. It seemed that whether she had calmed down or not had become unimportant. She reached out and picked up her phone from the bedside table.
He Peiru: [Why are you doing this?]
He Peiru: [Is it merely for your own selfish reasons?]
Gu Zhaoqian stayed up all night, partly because he was worried about missing He Peiru's message, and partly because he was hesitant because he didn't know what He Peiru was thinking.
What he was least confident about in the whole affair was He Peiru's attitude.
Gu Zhaoqian saw her message immediately, but he didn't dare to click on it, let alone reply right away.
The read receipt feature allows him to judge the situation based on whether the other party has read the message, but when he is the one being observed, he wishes the feature would disappear.
It's as if no matter what he does, he has to worry about scaring Ho Pui-yu.
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Author's note: I wanted to be direct, but I'm still being cautious :)
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