Chapter 50 Su Yumian, I was wrong
He buried his head in the crook of Su Yumian's neck, his voice low and hoarse, as if stuffed with cotton: "Mianmian, don't hate me..."
At this moment, Su Yumian slowly opened his eyes. The temperature on his back was clearly warm, but his heart felt like it was filled with ice, and he felt a mixture of cold and pain.
The darkness enveloped the entire room like a thick layer of velvet. Only through the slightly ajar window, a cool breeze occasionally blew in, moving the curtains and allowing the moonlight from outside to occasionally shine in.
Fu Quezhou knew that Su Yumian was awake, but he didn't move or say a word. The more he acted like this, the more anxious Fu Quezhou became.
It was as if Su Yumian would slip away from his fingers like an elusive wind at any time, and drift to a place where he would never be able to find her even if he tried his best.
He would definitely go crazy if that happened.
"Mianmian, let me tell you a story."
After a long silence, Fu Quezhou slowly spoke.
Regardless of whether Su Yumian was willing to listen or not, he started talking to himself.
The voice was soft and slow, just like a normal chat:
"Once upon a time there was a loving couple who had a child. Their seemingly happy family underwent a drastic change three years later...
Their children were diagnosed with Psychopathy, which translates to morbid personality, the so-called antisocial personality disorder..."
As Fu Quezhou spoke slowly, word by word, Su Yumian went from having no reaction at first to being slowly drawn into Fu Quezhou's words.
When Fu Quezhou talked about antisocial personality disorder, Su Yumian's heart skipped a beat.
His fingers unconsciously clenched the bed sheets, but he still said nothing and just listened quietly.
Fu Quezhou felt that Su Yumian's body was tense all the time, so he loosened his arms a little and continued to tell the story.
"Until the child was ten years old and his condition became more serious, his mother gave him a dog so that he could feel emotions..."
Everything that followed proceeded slowly as Fu Quezhou had expected.
But when he mentioned the child who made the dog into a specimen, Su Yumian instinctively trembled.
Fu Quezhou guessed this would be the result, but he did not give up.
He continued, “Because of his illness, he cannot feel emotions and cannot experience the same feelings as normal people.
His parents hated him, calling him a monster, and even cruelly abandoned him and sent him abroad, while the child was forced to live with his grandfather.
Fu Quezhou paused for a moment, loosened his arm, and instead held Su Yumian's hand. He subconsciously asked, "Do you know how he lives at Grandpa's house?"
Originally, he didn't expect Su Yumian to answer, but to his surprise and delight, Su Yumian actually spoke, but his voice was a little hoarse.
"How did you get by?"
Fu Quezhou's body trembled slightly. He never expected Su Yumian to respond.
"His family was afraid of him, his friends hated him, and his neighbors looked at him strangely, calling him a monster."
"He was unfortunate, but also lucky, because a ray of light appeared in his seven years of darkness."
When Su Yumian heard Fu Quezhou talking about the process of the child being redeemed by the light, fragments flashed through his mind, and some of them seemed familiar.
"But the light came and went quickly. After the little boy disappeared, the child went crazy, searching everywhere for someone who looked like the light. Once he found someone, he brought them home and hid them."
"He didn't know it was wrong, he was just lonely and wanted someone to accompany him."
"But his family locked him up in a mental hospital. For nine years, he had to take injections and medication every day, and if he resisted, he would be beaten."
"The only thing that kept him alive was the light that had saved him for a moment. He wrote the little boy's name all over the wall."
"He spent the first seven years in darkness, and the last nine in a mental hospital, receiving injections and taking medication. He was simply ill, but he had to sacrifice sixteen years of his youth for this..."
He stayed in that nightmare-like place for nine years. If it weren't for that little thought, he would not have been able to survive until now.
As Fu Quezhou gradually uncovered the scars, Su Yumian finally remembered an incident that happened when she was a child living at her aunt's house.
At that time, their mother's illness was declared incurable, so they planned to return to their hometown.
When he was leaving, he saw a group of children bullying another child, so he went over to help, because he saw the same fate as his own in the child.
Wherever I go, people look down on me and I'm not popular.
He only stepped forward to help out because they shared the same fate, but he didn't expect that he would remember it for nine whole years.
Perhaps Fu Quezhou's narration was too bland, so bland that it seemed as if he was not talking about his own affairs, but about an outsider.
Su Yumian had already guessed that the child he was talking about was himself.
When he heard him narrate the scars that he didn't want the world to see layer by layer in such a plain and straightforward manner, he just felt heartbroken.
What kind of feeling is it to be hated and abandoned by your own parents, and to be called a monster all the time? He felt so heartbroken that he almost suffocated just thinking about it.
How does it feel to be sent to a dark and gloomy mental hospital by your closest and only relative?
And he had to bear all this alone.
Whenever he thought of this, he felt a dull pain in his chest, both for Fu Quezhou and for himself.
He clutched his chest tightly, sobs spilling out uncontrollably.
When Fu Quezhou heard his crying and saw his shoulders shaking, he felt for the first time the pain as if someone was stabbing him with a sharp knife.
He turned Su Yumian over and found that he was already in tears.
He held Su Yumian's face and kissed away the tears on his face bit by bit, and finally their foreheads touched.
Fu Quezhou's voice trembled slightly. "With this broken brain of mine, I can't think normally about whether or not I can do this..."
He paused, his tone sincere: "But I know one thing, that is, this person's mind is full of you..."
"Before, I never thought about how I wanted to live, but because of you... I started looking forward to tomorrow..."
"I'm not trying to use this to excuse my mistakes, it's just...Mianmian, I was wrong, so I beg you not to leave me."
He hugged Su Yumian into his arms, and Fu Quezhou cried for the first time in his 29 years of life.
Even though he was abandoned by his biological parents and hated and despised by everyone, he never shed a tear.
But now she was in Su Yumian's arms, crying like a child who had been abandoned by the whole world and finally found support.
As he cried, Su Yumian cried even louder, stretching out her arms and hugging Fu Quezhou tightly. The two of them were like two lonely boats holding on to each other in the stormy waves, looking for salvation.
In this embrace, all the pain, grievances and reluctance accumulated over the past few days were vented out at once.
Fu Quezhou hugged Su Yumian tightly. Even if he had to face the darkness and reveal his scars until only a bloody skeleton was left, even if he had to lower himself in front of him, play the role of a pitiful person, and pretend to be a normal person, he would do whatever it takes to keep Su Yumian.
The result was obvious. Su Yumian obviously no longer resisted him. It seemed that his method of playing the victim was effective.
Because he knew that Su Yumian was the most likely to be soft-hearted.
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