Chapter 30 Abortion
The small room was filled with the smell of bitter medicine.
Xie Yushu sat on the edge of the bed a few steps away, looking at Qiao Bao'er without saying a word for a long time.
Perhaps it was because her expression was too serious, and Qiao Bao'er, who was used to seeing people's faces, became uneasy. She nervously apologized to her, "You finally came back and I didn't prepare anything... Yu Shu, are you hungry? Thirsty? Is it too hot in the house?"
Qiao Miao'er came in from outside, carrying a celadon teapot and teacups. She poured tea for Xie Yushu and gestured something with her hands.
“Miao’er said this is your favorite perilla drink, and it’s been chilled in the well for a while,” Qiao Bao’er explained. “It’ll quench your thirst.” She quickly added, “This set of cups and bowls is new; none of us have ever used it.”
It was as if they were afraid that Xie Yushu would find them disliked or that they would neglect Xie Yushu.
But this shouldn't be the case; she is Xie Yushu's mother.
Xie Yushu felt a mix of emotions. She took a sip of the cold perilla drink, her throat tightening. She couldn't let this continue. She couldn't let Qiao Bao'er live such an unbearable life, even if it wasn't for completing the female supporting role task, she was still using the identity of [Yushu].
Does Yu Shu wish for her mother to remain a concubine forever?
She asked the system: Did Qiao Bao'er give birth to this child in the original drama?
The system responded to her: "No, Qiao Bao'er was not yet born when she learned of Xie Yushu's death. She was shocked and angry, suffered severe bleeding and fainted. She lost the baby and then committed suicide."
These are tough days.
Xie Yushu put down his teacup, looked up at Qiao Bao'er, and asked her without hesitation, "Has Mother told anyone at the Yong'an Marquis's residence about her pregnancy?"
Qiao Bao'er was taken aback, seemingly not understanding why she asked such a question, and simply shook her head and replied, "Not yet, the pregnancy is still unstable. I want to wait until it is completely stable before I report to the Lady and the Lord."
"When the Lady of the Marquis's people came to deliver things yesterday and today, did they discover that Mother is pregnant?" Xie Yushu asked again.
Qiao Bao'er thought for a moment and said, "I don't think so. No one from the Marquis's mansion came in. Mai Dong and I thanked them for their gifts outside the door."
“They probably didn’t notice,” Mai Dong said. “Auntie isn’t showing any signs of pregnancy yet, she just looks a little pale.”
Well, it's not too bad.
Xie Yushu got up and sat down on the edge of the bed.
Qiao Bao'er was flattered and quickly put a soft cushion on the bed for her before letting her sit down.
"Mother." Xie Yushu grasped Qiao Bao'er's thin hand and asked her earnestly, "Why do you want to have another child?"
Qiao Bao'er was completely bewildered by the question. Observing her expression, she finally answered after a while: "Because...because the Marquis wants a son, and I was thinking that if I could give birth to a boy, maybe I could help you...What's wrong, Yu Shu?"
Xie Yushu did not doubt her sincerity towards her daughter. In this world, it was perfectly normal for women to think this way. Even Meng Min, who was pampered and spoiled, felt guilty and pained for not having a son. Even the female lead, Xie Jianing, after returning, recognized the son born to Widow Ye, abandoned his mother and kept the son, carefully raising him to inherit the title of Marquis of Yong'an.
Qiao Bao'er naturally believed that as long as she could risk her life to give birth to a son, perhaps her son could be taken back to the Marquis's mansion, and she and her daughter Yushu would have someone to rely on in the future, which would at least be better than they are now.
Besides, getting pregnant isn't something Qiao Bao'er can control just because she doesn't want to. Does she have the right to tell Xie Zhi'an not to touch her? Or to bring fish intestines with him?
She was nothing more than a servant girl, a mistress.
But now, Xie Yushu wants her to choose for herself.
"Has Mother ever thought about what if she were born a daughter?" Xie Yushu asked her as gently as possible. "If she were a daughter, she would be like me, a mistress of a concubine, born to a slave, whom everyone despises."
Qiao Bao'er's face turned even paler.
"Mother has always felt sorry for me. Aren't you afraid of letting down another daughter in the future?" Xie Yushu asked her. "You understand very well that the reason I've lived such a cautious and humble life since I was a child is simply because of my birth."
Qiao Bao'er's eyes reddened, and her thin hands trembled: "Yushu, I'm so sorry..." She tried to explain, "The doctor said it should be a boy. If it really is a boy, maybe your father will treat you better..."
"Perhaps." Xie Yushu did not deny her, but told her, "Does Mother know where I went with Madam Hou yesterday? We went to the residence of another of Father's mistresses, who is now pregnant."
Qiao Bao'er was both surprised and stunned, unable to react for a moment.
Xie Yushu continued, "Madam Hou wanted to find someone to abort the child of that mistress, but she was temporarily ill and couldn't do it."
She saw Qiao Bao'er's stunned expression.
"How dare the Lady of the Marquis abort the Marquis's child?" Mai Dong couldn't help but say, "The Marquis would not allow it!"
“Why wouldn’t she dare? She’s a princess, and her maternal family is related to the imperial family. If she wanted to abort a concubine’s child, she would have plenty of ways to do so.” Xie Yushu said without hesitation, “Even if Father forbids it, so what? Does he think he can divorce a princess for a concubine?”
Qiao Bao'er and Mai Dong both seemed to fall silent.
Because they knew very well that she was right; there was no way the Marquis would divorce the Princess.
“I’m not telling you this to scare you.” Xie Yushu sighed, holding Qiao Bao’er’s trembling hand. “I’m just telling you that even if we risk our lives to give birth to a boy, we might not be able to get him back to the Marquis’s mansion. Mother and I will have to fight against the Marquis’s wife, fight against the Marquis’s wife’s family, and maybe even fight against Father in the future… Is Mother planning for me to dedicate my whole life to my brother, to please everyone in order to protect him?”
Qiao Bao'er burst into tears, shaking her head as she gripped her hand tightly through her tears: "How could I bear to let you dedicate your whole life to this? I... I just want you to have someone to rely on in the future... You've already suffered so much since you were born by my side, I really just want things to be better for you in the future..."
She can't even defend herself, so what scheming or means does she have to fight or compete?
Xie Yushu sighed. Even the cunning and scheming Widow Ye in the original drama was ultimately just cannon fodder for the Yong'an Marquis's mansion, ending up with her mother gone and her child left behind. How much more so for Qiao Bao'er?
"I know." Xie Yushu wiped away her tears and called her softly, "Mother, I know how good you are to me."
Qiao Bao'er burst into tears at the sound of her daughter calling her "Mother." Ever since her daughter became old enough to understand, she had stopped calling her "Mother." Everyone taught Yu Shu to call her "Auntie," and even she herself made Yu Shu call her that, all for the sake of not being a burden to her daughter...
Xie Yushu hugged her and waited until she calmed down and stopped crying before reaching out to Jin Ye: "Give me the box."
Jin Ye and Yin Ya had already been crying their eyes out. When Xie Yushu reached out, they quickly wiped away their tears and handed him the silver box they had brought with them.
Xie Yushu opened the box for Qiao Bao'er to see, and Qiao Bao'er was terrified. Inside was a thick stack of gold notes and silver notes worth ten thousand taels each.
"Where did you get so much money?" Qiao Bao'er had never seen so much money in her life. The largest denomination banknote she had ever seen was the one thousand taels of silver notes that Xie Yushu had given her before.
"Don't worry, I earned it all myself." Xie Yushu smiled and took out a series of gold bills, placing them in front of Qiao Bao'er's eyes. He said to her, "Mother, I came back today to ask you a question: From now on, do you want to live with me, or continue to be Xie Zhi'an's mistress?"
Qiao Bao'er was so dazzled by the gold coins that she didn't immediately understand what her words meant, and stared blankly at her.
Xie Yushu had no choice but to clarify: "Now that I have money, I want to redeem you from the Yong'an Marquis's mansion, free you from slavery, and establish a female household for you."
She looked up and saw Qiao Bao'er's stunned face. She knew that every word she said at that moment seemed unbelievable to Qiao Bao'er.
So she said to Qiao Bao'er with even more certainty, "This money is enough for us to buy a big mansion like the Marquis's Mansion and live comfortably for the rest of our lives. Mother, if you meet a man you like in the future, you can remarry openly. If you are too lazy to serve a man, we will stay together and live our own lives."
What a beautiful vision this is, but it's not a life Qiao Bao'er dares to dream of...
"This...how is this possible?" Qiao Bao'er couldn't believe it, but she grabbed Xie Yushu's hand as if it were a lifeline: "How could a slave like me, who has given birth to my master, be released from the manor? Even if the Lady and the Lord Marquis were to mercifully release my indenture, I could never be freed from my slave status, much less be allowed to establish a female household..."
"Why is it impossible?" Xie Yushu knew the setting of this world. Slaves needed government permission to get rid of their slave status, and it was even more difficult to establish a female household. According to the law, only widows who had been observing three years of mourning were eligible to apply to establish a female household.
However, there are exceptions.
"Mother, do you know Zhao San Niang, the most famous fish sashimi chef in Bianjing? Didn't she establish a female household?" This is what Xie Yushu heard in Fanlou after she came to this world. "I even saw her. She was in Fanlou. The owner of Fanlou personally invited her to cook fish sashimi, like welcoming a distinguished guest."
Zhao San Niang was a remarkable woman in Bianjing, and Qiao Bao'er had naturally heard of her. Zhao San Niang's father started his business by selling sashimi. He only had this one daughter, and after losing his wife early in life, he raised his daughter alone, passing on his sashimi-slicing skills and the shop to her. Before he passed away, Zhao San Niang's excellent cooking skills had already made her famous in Bianjing, and many high-ranking officials and nobles would specially invite her to cook sashimi when they held banquets.
Only with her fame, wealth, and connections could Zhao Sanniang, after her father's death, use her connections to send money to establish a female household.
But what does Qiao Bao'er have?
“Mother is different from her.” Qiao Bao’er said this, but she was deeply moved. “Yu Shu, my good daughter, I know you are filial, but I can’t spend all your money and rely on you for the rest of my life. You are different from me. You are now the Lady Pei of the Yongyi Earl’s Mansion. Don’t ruin your good life to help me.”
Xie Yushu couldn't say directly that she didn't care about the position of "Madam Pei" at all; what she wanted was to be the emperor or the empress dowager.
This would probably scare Qiao Bao'er to death.
So she simply held Qiao Bao'er's hand and said, "Mother is different from her, but Mother has a capable daughter like me. If I say I can do it, then just believe me."
Qiao Bao'er was about to cry again: "Yes, Mother's Yu Shu has been amazing since she was little. Mother believes you. Mother believes whatever you say."
"Is that so?" Xie Yushu held her cold hand and said the question he had been preparing for so long: "What if I make Mother miscarry this child? Do you believe me?"
Qiao Bao'er stood there stunned in front of her.
Mai Dong was also stunned. She looked at her and said, "Miss Yu Shu, please stop teasing your aunt. This is the Marquis's child. If your aunt were to commit adultery, how could the Marquis let her off so easily?"
"Didn't he not know?" Xie Yushu looked at Mai Dong.
"It's not that I've reported it to the Marquis yet," Mai Dong explained honestly. "But when my aunt was bleeding a while ago, I went to ask the Marquis for help. The Marquis invited Doctor Meng from Xinglin Hall for my aunt. I guess Doctor Meng will report back to the Marquis that my aunt is pregnant."
Doctor Meng would naturally report such a "joyful" event as pregnancy to Xie Zhi'an, so it seems he should know about it. However, he doesn't seem to have told Meng Min about it at this time, probably because he wants to wait until the pregnancy is stable or the baby is a son before telling Meng Min.
Why would you have a child with a man like that?
"If he knows, then he knows." Xie Yushu no longer beat around the bush and said directly to Qiao Bao'er, "I only ask you, Mother, do you want to abort this pregnancy and live with me? Or do you insist on giving birth in place of Xie Zhi'an?"
Qiao Bao'er's heart pounded as she was startled by Yu Shu's direct address of the Marquis by his name. Suddenly, she realized that Yu Shu seemed different from before. The Yu Shu in front of her had become like a sharp blade, and every word she spoke was astonishing.
"You don't need to worry about anything else, I'll take care of it for you." Xie Yushu was determined to force her to choose: "I just want to ask you what kind of life you want to live? Do you choose me, or Xie Zhi'an?"
What kind of life do you want to live?
As Qiao Bao'er gazed into those resolute eyes, the tremor in her heart never ceased. When she was still a young cook, she had counted the copper coins, calculating how long it would take to redeem herself and her sister from their servitude. Once redeemed, she and her sister would do some small business; it was better than being slaves...
No one wants to be a slave or a concubine, so naturally she wanted to escape slavery and live with Yushu!
But this path is so difficult, and her daughter Yushu has to bear it all alone. How could she possibly...?
"It's not all for Mother's sake." Xie Yushu seemed to see through her thoughts and said frankly, "It's also for my own sake. No one wants their mother to be a slave or servant. I don't want my mother to be a mistress who has to hide when she comes to see me. I hope you can get rid of your slave status and start over."
These words struck a chord with Qiao Bao'er, and her hands trembled as tears streamed down her face.
"Mother, if we're of one mind, there's no difficulty we can't overcome." Xie Yushu's words lashed out at Qiao Bao'er like a whip: "As long as you dare to risk everything and be of one mind with me..."
"I dare!" Qiao Bao'er couldn't help but tighten her grip on Xie Yushu's hand, crying as she said firmly, "I dare to do anything for Yushu! Although Mother is foolish, Mother will always be of one mind with Yushu. How could I not want to see you openly and honestly, so that others won't laugh at you for having a mistress..."
She started to sob and cry.
Xie Yushu hugged her, only to hear her crying and saying, "Mother will listen to you, whatever you say, Mother will do. If I could choose, why would I choose to be a mistress? I had no choice..."
Xie Yushu's heart was broken. Yes, Qiao Bao'er had no choice, and neither did the supporting actress Yushu. These insignificant servants living in the corners of the satisfying drama had no choice at all.
Inside the house, everyone was crying. Outside the door, Qiao Miao'er was also crying while washing clothes. She kept rubbing the clothes in her hands, as if she were rubbing her own and her sister's miserable lives.
Before Xie Yushu left, it started to drizzle again. She instructed Maidong to take good care of Qiao Bao'er and to wait until she had a doctor come to examine her pulse and prescribe abortion medicine. Before that, she told no one to know that Qiao Bao'er was pregnant.
The Ophiopogon japonicus does not nod.
As Xie Yushu was about to get into the carriage, Qiao Miao'er chased after her and handed her a package, gesturing with her hands as if to say something.
The system translated for her in her ear: "She's saying: This is the newest one made this year, the one you loved to sneak when you were little."
Xie Yushu opened the cloth bag and saw a bottle of newly brewed osmanthus honey inside.
※
The rain wasn't heavy, but the dampness was annoying.
When Xie Yushu returned to the Pei residence, it was already very late. She estimated the time when Song Jie would come to pick her up and sat in front of her dressing table to carefully apply her full makeup. This time was different from usual; she deliberately imitated Xie Jianing to the extreme, even covering up the mole on her nose.
Her hair and clothes were all chosen to resemble Xie Jianing's previous style.
After she finished her makeup and hair, Song Jie's carriage arrived, this time stopping directly outside the main gate of the Pei residence without any attempt to conceal it.
The front yard was so quiet that even the lights were off; anyone who didn't know better would think that Pei Shilin and her son weren't home.
But Xie Yushu's "green hat value" suddenly increased by 2 points, all thanks to Pei Shilin.
He's just watching her from that room, isn't he? He's just decided to play the coward.
Xie Yushu led Jinye out of the mansion, and Cangshu came to greet her and helped her into the carriage.
She was startled as soon as she got into the carriage; Song Jie was actually sitting inside.
"What are you doing here?" Her heart skipped a beat, and she frowned at him. "Don't you usually wait at the manor?"
Song Jie's gaze was fixed on her face. He stared at her for a while, seemingly dazed, before blinking and frowning as he asked, "Xie Yushu, why are you dressed like this today?"
Xie Yushu adjusted her pink hair ribbon and deliberately asked him in Xie Jianing's tone, "What? Does the little Taoist priest think I don't look good like this?"
Song Jie vividly recalled Xie Jianing's appearance. Today, she was dressed and made up exactly the same as when they reunited at Xie Jianing's spring banquet: a pink shimmering satin shirt and a pink ribbon tied in her flowing hair, which fluttered like a colorful butterfly as she walked.
That day was the first time he met her as the prime minister.
She walked slowly toward him from the garden, her hands behind her back, and said, "Why are you staring at me like that? Do you think I'm not dressed well today, little Taoist priest?"
At this moment, Xie Yushu almost overlapped with the Jia Ning in his memory. She looked very much like Jia Ning today, more so than ever before.
For some reason, Song Jie felt uneasy. He looked away from the carriage curtain and frowned, saying, "You don't have to copy her in everything. I just want to have a meal with you today."
"I know," Xie Yushu said in Xie Jianing's tone, "but I wonder if the young Taoist priest still remembers what I like to eat?"
Song Jie's discomfort intensified. He didn't want to admit that he actually wanted to have a quiet meal with Xie Yushu today, not to watch her play Jia Ning.
He came in person because he was afraid that Pei Shilin and her son would act desperately and make things difficult for her again.
But these true thoughts, like needles pricking his heart, remained hidden there. He neither wanted to admit it nor could he accept that he was actually thinking of Xie Yushu...
He kept reminding himself that all he was doing was to help Xie Yushu make better fakes and keep him company to relieve his boredom.
The carriage stopped in front of Fanlou.
Xie Yushu glanced at the carriage but didn't get out. He just frowned and said, "Aren't we going to the Prime Minister's residence? What if someone sees us here?"
Song Jie frowned and sneered, "I didn't mind, but you're starting to mind."
"Of course, if someone sees you, the Prime Minister, it's just another romantic affair, but if I were seen, I'd probably be drowned in spittle." Xie Yushu refused to get out of the carriage.
Even though Song Jie said that he had ordered the entire Fanlou restaurant to be booked so that she wouldn't run into anyone else, she still refused, emphasizing, "I only accept staying at the Prime Minister's residence. No amount of money from the Prime Minister will change that."
Song Jie clenched his teeth in anger, losing all interest, and coldly ordered Cang Shu to return to the mansion.
Inside the moving carriage, neither of them spoke, their faces cold and neither looking at the other.
Song Jie was even angrier. He felt like he was just paying money to get himself into trouble. Where did Xie Yushu get the audacity to argue with him? She was nothing more than a fake he had paid to hire!
The more he thought about it, the angrier he became. He coughed twice and made up his mind that once the carriage reached the gate of the Prime Minister's residence, he would make Xie Yushu get out and go back to the Pei residence.
But Xie Yushu said first, "You don't need to make me feel bad. You don't need to pay today's bill."
Song Jie turned his head to look at her angrily. In the dimly lit carriage, she was sitting by the window, her head down, wiping away her lipstick and eye makeup with a handkerchief. Her eyes were red from wiping, and her face was wet.
He paused for a moment, then asked, "Xie Yushu, are you crying?"
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Author's Note: Xie Yushu: Crying scenes are a basic professional duty for actors.
I updated over 5,000 words today, and I'll try to update 6,000 tomorrow. Are you guys reading? This chapter is so lame, I'm rolling around in frustration!
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