Chapter 118: Xiao Wonton, you said you were deeply in debt, so I am willing to help you...
In the middle of the night, Luo Shu was not woken up by thirst, but was awakened by the abnormal behavior of the person next to her.
Fang Qingzhuo was sick again. He had this strange habit of suddenly twitching in the middle of his sleep and waking up with a start.
Luo Shu quickly pretended to be asleep. After a moment of silence, someone tucked the quilt in for her. As if afraid of disturbing her, they got out of bed very carefully.
After a slight sound of the lock being locked, Luo Shu opened her eyes, put on a coat and got out of bed.
The doorknob turned slightly, revealing a small gap in the bedroom door.
Fang Qingzhuo stood blankly in the living room for a long time, then came to his senses, skillfully took out his cigarette case and lighter from the TV decorative cabinet, and went to the balcony to smoke.
When she first discovered that he had this symptom, she simply thought it was a sleep disorder, but since they started living together, the frequency of this symptom has become erratic. Every time Fang Qingzhuo woke up, he would get up and go to the balcony to smoke a cigarette. After finishing, he would not forget to go to the bathroom to secretly clean the smell on his body. He thought he was perfect, but he didn't know that he would be discovered at the first step.
Later, she went to the hospital on purpose, went through various departments and was finally recommended to the neurology department. After her verbal description, it was preliminarily diagnosed as autonomic nervous system disorder. But strangely enough, Fang Qingzhuo, who never wastes time on internal energy, what is there to be anxious about?
The time it took to smoke a cigarette was quickly over, and as usual, Fang Qingzhuo walked to the bathroom to get rid of the smell of smoke.
To go to the bathroom, Luo Shu had to pass through the bedroom. She quickly turned back to the bed. Two minutes later, as the mattress sank a little, she was embedded in a hot embrace.
In each other's body temperature, the two hearts snuggle closely together.
The next day after get off work, Luo Shu finished her work early and prepared to have a soul-touching heart-to-heart with Fang Qingzhuo, but he sent her a report message two minutes before she got off work.
[I'll have a drink with Zhuang He and go home later.]
It was suddenly cold in the middle of the night, and there was a hint of winter. The clock pointed to ten o'clock. Luo Shu had just come out of the shower when Fang Qingzhuo came back late after a drink. The moment he opened the door and entered the house, he found that the lights in the living room were still on. His hazy eyes immediately cleared up.
Hearing the sound of someone changing shoes in the entrance hall, Luo Shu paused while eating fruit, then picked up the remote control on the coffee table and turned off the TV.
Realizing that Luo Shu might be waiting for him on purpose, Fang Qingzhuo walked forward reluctantly and slowly to be criticized, just like a puppy who had done something wrong and knew that his owner was about to criticize him. It was his fault that he took out his anger on her favorite doll before leaving.
"I'm back."
Luo Shu turned a deaf ear and continued chewing her apple, while the doll with the slap marks left by him was placed next to her.
Seeing this, Fang Qingzhuo scratched his neck awkwardly, and consciously went around to the other side to sit down, with his head tilted. He didn't dare to ask why he hadn't gone to bed at this time, so he had to cough to make his presence felt.
Luo Shu glanced at him calmly, and then quickly stood two meters away as if afraid of being infected: "If your throat hurts, go take some medicine."
Fang Qingzhuo was withdrawn: "I don't have a throat and it's uncomfortable."
Luo Shu remained calm and said, "Then drink more hot water as a precaution."
Fang Qingzhuo pulled his hair in frustration: "Aren't you curious why I went out to drink?"
"It's your freedom, why should I be curious?" Luo Shu asked back.
Fang Qingzhuo moved closer: "Just keep an eye on me. I don't have to go out."
Luo Shu laughed: "I'm not that unreasonable."
Fang Qingzhuo was really at his wit's end: "This time it was Zhuang He, but who knows who it will be next time. What if..."
Luo Shu said directly: "That's right, it can make room for my doll."
Fang Qingzhuo immediately said honestly: "I just want you to care about me. I don't have that idea at all."
Luo Shu didn't want to listen to his nonsense anymore, so she went back to her room: "I'm tired, take a shower and then go to bed."
After a quick shower, Fang Qingzhuo walked awkwardly into the bedroom. Luo Shu was sitting at the dressing table, tinkering with her skincare routine, showing no interest in talking to him. He strode down to sit at the end of the bed, wiping his half-wet hair while observing what was going on on the other side, until Luo Shu pulled out her suitcase. "What are you packing for?"
"I'm going on a business trip tomorrow."
"A business trip again?" Fang Qingzhuo stood up quickly. "How many days?"
"One week."
"So long?" Fang Qingzhuo pursed his beautiful lips, neither thick nor thin, slightly. "Then what should I do?"
Luo Shu neatly packed her spare clothes and toiletries: "Whatever you need to do, eat when you need to eat, and sleep when you need to sleep."
"I'm not used to being alone."
"Not used to it?" Luo Shu turned to look at him. "When you said before that you wouldn't disturb my life and wouldn't appear in front of me, weren't you quite cool?"
Fang Qingzhuo muttered softly, "It's different now."
"What's different?"
“It’s just different.”
"You're just too nosy." Luo Shu couldn't bring herself to complain, so she commented, "You were never like this before."
"My business, my business." Fang Qingzhuo's eyes widened, and he kept repeating these three words. His voice was intermittent, with a little sob. "You are tired of me, you regret it, you don't love me anymore."
Luo Shu felt that his suspicion had become hopeless: "That's what you said, I never said that."
In this ambiguous relationship, Fang Qingzhuo is always the passive one. He cannot figure out Luo Shu's ways, nor can he guess her true thoughts. He can only keep brainwashing herself that the current relationship is hard-earned and is the greatest gift from God to him. He should not be picky or question her choices, even if he is treated as a spare tire, and may rot in this fictional dream.
But then again, he used to be the only one in Luo Shu's heart, but now he has become so miserable that he has to compete with a bunch of psychopaths for favor. It is inevitable that he feels unbalanced.
As he thought about it, tears welled up in his eyes. He looked at Luo Shu, who was concentrating on packing her luggage. Fang Qingzhuo sat down again dejectedly, but he turned his face away out of stubbornness.
After Luo Shu packed her luggage, she noticed something strange on the bed. The man had his back to her, his shoulders trembling, and his forehead was still dripping with water. There was a puddle of water on the floor at his feet. It seemed that he was crying, but she didn't say anything harsh, did she?
"Fang Qingzhuo, are you crying?"
"I don't."
"You're still saying no, but you're already crying." Luo Shu slowly moved to his side and curiously leaned over to glance at him, but he dodged as best he could. "If you have any objections to me, you can just speak frankly."
She gave Fang Qingzhuo an excuse, and the grievance that he had been holding back for a long time could no longer be concealed: "I am..."
The emotions that had been accumulating for days could no longer be controlled and burst out: "I just feel like you don't need me anymore..."
Luo Shu didn't hear the following words clearly: "What is it?"
Fang Qingzhuo raised her arm and pretended to wipe away tears: "I just feel like you don't need me anymore, and then there's a thorn stuck in my heart, and no matter how hard I try, I can't pull it out. I always feel like there's a layer of plastic film between us. I rely on you much more than you rely on me."
Only then did Luo Shu finally understand. To sum it up, she felt insecure: "How could that be?"
Fang Qingzhuo remained in his sideways position: "You call someone your husband."
Luo Shu lifted his jaw with her hand and tried to pry it open: "It's just a game."
Fang Qingzhuo's voice almost broke: "Then I begged you to call me husband, but you refused."
"It's just a title, is it that important? Besides, it was you who asked me not to call you husband, have you forgotten?"
"I...I was..." Fang Qingzhuo stammered, "I regret it, okay?"
"Is this all?" Luo Shu asked, "Are there any others?"
"Are you going to do it again?"
"Same old trick?"
"You haven't given me a clear identity yet. Are you waiting to get tired of me so you can kick me out?"
"You've moved into my house, isn't your identity obvious?" Luo Shu took the initiative to give a non-direct answer.
"Then why don't you dare admit that I'm your boyfriend in front of everyone?" Fang Qingzhuo lost his voice for a moment, sobbing and accusing her of irresponsible behavior. "When I went to your company, you asked me if I was seen by anyone. When your colleagues came, you also asked me to hide."
Luo Shu touched his back to calm him down: "But I never denied it."
"no the same."
"What's the difference?"
“It’s just different.”
"I warn you not to beat around the bush."
"You're changing the subject."
"How could I have changed the concept?"
"Yes, I clearly do." Fang Qingzhuo burst into tears. Turning around, her eyes were red and tears had already flowed into two winding rivers. "Then why don't you wear the ring I gave you? When we went to grandma's house for dinner, you kept wanting to take it off. And yesterday when we were camping, you took it off directly."
Luo Shu sighed: "So this is why you can't sleep? And you even hid the cigarette behind the TV."
"I..." Fang Qingzhuo couldn't explain himself, so he could only lower his eyes and silently shed tears, "I know you don't like me smoking, I'm trying hard to quit..."
For a moment, the only sound in the room was the man's sobbing.
Looking at him like this, Luo Shu's heart seemed to be clenched by an invisible hand: "Don't cry."
It would have been fine if she hadn't said anything, but once she did, she cried even louder.
"Oh, I don't mean to blame you. You can quit smoking slowly." Luo Shu wiped his tears with her fingers, took the towel beside him and wiped his still dripping hair, and said softly, "I swear, as long as you are obedient, I promise not to abandon you."
"Really?" Fang Qingzhuo raised his forehead.
Luo Shu nodded vigorously. This was not the end of the matter. Fang Qingzhuo owed her everything.
After receiving the assurance that he would not be abandoned, Fang Qingzhuo decided to quit while he was ahead, sniffed and stood up.
Seeing this, Luo Shu asked curiously, "Where are you going?"
Fang Qingzhuo touched his belly and said, "I'm hungry."
Luo Shu: "Didn't you eat dinner?"
Fang Qingzhuo: “No.”
Fang Qingzhuo was flattered that Luo Shu was going to cook herself.
I deleted and reduced the bragging words in the input box, but after editing it, I didn’t know who to share it with.
Luo Shu wants to cook me some wontons because she’s worried I’ll catch a cold if I don’t blow dry my hair…
After some thought, I decided to send it to Zhuang He, who posed the least threat.
Half a minute later, he received a message: [Get lost!]
Fang Qingzhuo was satisfied. He put down his phone and focused on the kitchen. Luo Shu tied on an apron and quickly turned on the fire to boil water and chop green onions.
In the mist, he remembered that once when he had a fever, she was busy making porridge in the same way.
After sending her back to school that night, he tasted the porridge specially when he got home and asked himself: Is it true that only the porridge made by my girlfriend is sweet?
The wontons rolled in the boiling water. Luo Shu fished them out and poured in the broth made with seaweed and dried shrimps. She sprinkled them with chopped green onions and drizzled a few drops of sesame oil. The aroma quickly filled the air. She carried the wontons into the living room and found Fang Qingzhuo sitting cross-legged on the carpet. His thick black hair still hadn't been blow-dried. She couldn't help but frown, "Why haven't you blow-dried your hair yet?"
"It's okay, it will be done in a while." Fang Qingzhuo took the porcelain bowl from her hand and stirred it gently with a spoon.
"Be careful, it's hot." Luo Shu reminded.
Fang Qingzhuo scooped up a thin-skinned wonton and blew on it: "I'll feed you."
Luo Shu wasn't hungry, but Fang Qingzhuo was very persistent. He raised the spoon high and insisted on feeding her: "Just one."
After taking a mouthful of hot wontons, Luo Shu felt warm all over. She stared at Fang Qingzhuo's relish in eating. His eyelashes cast fine shadows under the light, making the small mole at the end of his eye particularly eye-catching.
She suddenly called his name: "Fang Qingzhuo."
Fang Qingzhuo raised his eyes: "Hmm?"
Luo Shu: "Do you know why I left you behind?"
Hearing this, Fang Qingzhuo put down the spoon and licked his lips helplessly: "I think you know that I hurt you, and you made me feel the same way."
In fact, Luo Shu was not very willing to recall the past: "During the time when you were in the hospital after the car accident, I reflected every night on how stupid and foolish I was. Even though you kept showing a cold face and your mood was unpredictable, I still felt happy to be with you, really happy. But reality played a big joke on me. Seeing that you would rather hurt yourself to keep this relationship, and you became less and less like Fang Qingzhuo, I realized that it was time to leave. In the first month after arriving in Zurich, I thought I could quickly forget those unpleasant things, like a kind of psychological comfort. Being away from you means being away from the source of my pain, but the opposite happened. It's hard, really hard. It's hard for me to have the courage and confidence to love someone again."
Fang Qingzhuo's Adam's apple rolled nervously. "Since you haven't completely let go, why do you still choose to live with me? Was it because of that accident?"
"Because I love you." Luo Shu suddenly interrupted, looking directly into his handsome features. "Twenty-year-old Luo Shu would feel silly and stupid, but twenty-six-year-old Luo Shu would only feel that she loved sincerely and deeply, and she has no regrets."
"The bond between people is as thin as a cicada's wing. We shouldn't be too harsh on our past selves."
Unconsciously, the steam rising from the wonton stew blurred Fang Qingzhuo's vision. Luo Shu said that she did not regret it and that she still loved him.
He held his forehead and pretended to be calm as he continued to eat the wonton stew, but the heat from the bowl made his tears fall one by one, falling into his oily soup, into his spoon, and then melting on the tip of his tongue. He swallowed in big mouthfuls, digesting the sourness that had been suppressed for a long time into his stomach.
"I did something wrong, and you deserve to punish me. I've never complained. As long as you still have me in your heart..."
The ending of his voice changed slightly, and the rest of his words were stuck in his throat.
As if infected by the current atmosphere, Luo Shu's eyes sore. She looked up, holding back tears, and then took Fang Qingzhuo's wrist, which was clenched into a fist on the edge of the table. "When I was on a business trip in October, I secretly went to visit Hou Sisi. She's married and has a lovely baby. On the other hand, I've been living with nightmares and away from home for the past few years. What have I gained? She hasn't apologized from beginning to end. Thinking about it, it's really unfair. She puts her share of the blame on you twice as much."
"You said you were deeply in debt, so I'm willing to pay for it."
Fang Qingzhuo was reminded of a lifetime of grievances by her later words. Immediately afterwards, the restrained sobs slipped out from between his tightly closed lips. However, this time he did not choose to cry in front of her. Instead, he turned his back. Even though he covered his face with his palms, he could not stop the tears from flowing out from between his fingers.
Luo Shu stayed by his side quietly, and when he had cried enough, she poked him on the back and said, "Come and hug me now, and let the past be put to rest."
Without waiting for her to open her arms, Fang Qingzhuo threw himself into her arms. At least he knew his own weight and did not really lean on her.
Suddenly remembering someone who had just finished eating wonton soup, Luo Shu instinctively pushed away. Then, Fang Qingzhuo's face was lifted up, and the eyeballs hanging on his eyelashes were wiped away one by one. The two looked at each other in a daze: "So you like to cry so much?"
Fang Qingzhuo spoke incoherently: "I...this is..."
Luo Shu joked with her eyes curved: "Fang Qingzhuo, why are you crying like a dog?"
Fang Qingzhuo was at a loss for words: "No, it's you who minced the ginger, and you maliciously stabbed it in my eyes. It was spicy."
The little trick was discovered, but Luo Shu was fearless: "What should I do? You will be bullied by me for the rest of your life."
Fang Qingzhuo burst into tears: "Can this really last a lifetime?"
Luo Shu nodded seriously. She planned to put an end to the ellipsis of muddling through these past few years.
"The past is over, but are you willing to forgive me?" Fang Qingzhuo's eyes were still filled with tears, as if he would dare to cry if she refused.
Luo Shu observed his cautious manner in choosing words and pretended to be embarrassed: "Will you dare to learn the same imprisonment trick again in the future?"
“I don’t dare anymore.”
"Who will you listen to from now on?"
"your."
"You must ask me to forgive you?"
"Well, I feel more at ease."
"If you can do three things for me, I will forgive you."
Since that night, Fang Qingzhuo slept particularly soundly.
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