Chapter 77: Meng Jiangnu will never get better without her.
It was time to get off work, and Luo Shu dragged on for an hour or so before getting ready to leave. She thought that no matter how persistent Fang Qingzhuo was, he would have to leave. She hesitated to get a taxi home, feeling strangely afraid to go back home. Before getting into the elevator, she inexplicably backed out and decided to go to the supermarket instead. She bought several months' worth of daily necessities in one go, and waited until night fell before resolutely going upstairs.
As she stepped out of the elevator with heavy steps, before she could even take out her keys from her bag, Luo Shu was surprised to find a surveillance camera at the door of her house.
Is Fang Qingzhuo still here?
Now he couldn't remain calm anymore and quickly took out the key to open the door.
There was no light on in the house. She flipped the switch and looked at the unchanged cramped space, which was as lifeless as ever. Luo Shu breathed a sigh of relief but felt not completely relieved. She changed her shoes, carried the shopping bag and turned into the kitchen on her left. She opened the refrigerator, and as if by magic, her favorite fruits and yogurt appeared in the empty refrigerator. Not only that, the leaking faucet stopped dripping, and the dim light bulb was replaced with an eye-protecting light.
Following the strange path, Luo Shu walked all the way to the living room. The storage rack that she had bought a while ago but had no time to install was now standing intact next to the coffee table.
Fang Qingzhuo lay quietly on the sofa, with one of his fair arms with most of his sleeves rolled up hanging over the edge, and a screwdriver still loosely grasped in his hand, as if he was about to drop it.
"Fang Qingzhuo." Luo Shu called his name softly.
Unfortunately, the man on the sofa was sleeping soundly and did not respond to her calls.
Luo Shu approached him with light steps, and only then did she see his vulnerable side that could be bullied. His hair was ruffled, his face was sickly red, and he was breathing heavily, looking like he was ill.
It seemed inappropriate to touch his face and forehead, so I had no choice but to touch his neck like in a TV drama where they do an autopsy on a dead body, and sure enough, it was burning hot.
The temperature was over 30 degrees Celsius, and the fever was doubly torturous. Fang Qingzhuo broke out in a sweat unknowingly. Luo Shu couldn't help but recall what she saw when she got up last night.
Maybe it was because of the ups and downs before going to bed that caused her to be half asleep and half awake the whole night, tossing and turning in bed until the early morning when she was interrupted by a burst of thirst. After struggling for a while, she decided to get up and drink some water first. To drink water, she had to pass through the living room, but she didn't dare to turn on the light. She crouched down and leaned against the door, secretly opening a crack to observe whether Fang Qingzhuo was asleep.
The moonlight flooded, covering a corner of the sofa.
Fang Qingzhuo turned over and seemed to be not asleep. The screen of his mobile phone on the coffee table flickered and rang again and again. There was no need to worry about whether it was a woman calling him in the middle of the night. It was obvious that there were bug reports of error calls and text messages.
After a moment, when the phone finally stopped ringing, Luo Shu held her breath and concentrated, her hand on the door handle, ready to go out. Suddenly, the person on the sofa woke up without warning. It was not a nightmare, but the noise was so loud, like a drowning person suffocating in the water trying to send a distress signal. He tried to close his eyes and fall asleep again, but repeated the same mistake several times. Finally, as if he was used to the current situation and had no choice, he got up, grabbed a cigarette and walked towards the balcony.
Luo Shu stood behind the door as if her feet were rooted to the ground. Her mouth was no longer dry and her tongue was no longer parched. She followed him closely with her eyes as she closed the sliding glass door and leaned against the windowsill to light a cigarette. She bent her back towards the ethereal air and exhaled white smoke in mouthfuls, as if the words she couldn't say and the troubles of not being able to sleep turned into smoke that drifted away bit by bit in the wind.
Obviously, he wasn't doing as well as she had expected.
The smoke immediately filled the air and drifted towards her. She smelled the unique tobacco smell of Hei Lanzhou. It was strange that there was a faint plum fragrance before it was lit, but it was completely different after it was lit.
At that moment, a strange psychological activity emerged. It was not that Fang Qingzhuo violated the spirit of the contract to quit smoking, but a kind of mentality that if you are happy, I can continue to hate you. If you are not living well, I don’t know whether to sigh and mock you first or frown and applaud.
Perhaps it was the compassion in her bones that was at work, she comforted herself in this way.
Unable to wake him up or give him medicine, Luo Shu had to cool him down physically. She took out the screwdriver and put it back in the toolbox, then wiped the burning skin with ice water again and again. Her mouth was not idle. She started by mocking him for not catching a cold after being exposed to the wind all night with his bare chest, then she blamed him for being so abrupt, staying at someone else's house and getting sick, and then she grumbled in dissatisfaction, asking why he showed up when she had almost forgotten him.
In this situation, a familiar scene suddenly emerged in her mind: the same fever, the same careful care from her. Luo Shu sighed sincerely: "Why are you always sick?"
"Then why do you always lie to me?"
As the weak last syllable was about to fall, Luo Shu's heart was alarmed, thinking that he was delirious from the fever, until the man on the sofa trembled and stared at her with eyes that were not clear enough from the heat. "You swore not to lie to me, and promised to be responsible for me for the rest of your life. How could you forget?"
Luo Shu reflexively stepped back and instinctively avoided the topic: "When you wake up, take the medicine first."
Fang Qingzhuo struggled to sit up, and his sluggish behavior due to fever was more and more evident in his behavior.
Luo Shu pursed her lips and looked away, afraid that he didn't hear clearly, so she repeated: "I said, take the medicine, you will be fine after taking it."
The next second, the patient on the other end murmured in a hoarse voice: "It won't get better. It won't get better."
Without her, I can't get better. This thought is like the key that opens the tear glands. Fang Qingzhuo slowly flutters his eyelashes and stares at Luo Shu for a long time, who is trying hard to distance herself from him. He feels nostalgic, unwilling and remorseful. For a moment, his eyes are immediately filled with sparkling water, which falls to the mortal world in bunches.
"When you're nice to me, I'm afraid you'll cheat on me again and abandon me again. I can't bear it. Five years at a time. I really can't bear it."
Talking about the past five years since they separated, Fang Qingzhuo was really scared, afraid that the tragedy would happen again. "Last time, you said you forgave me, but turned around and left without saying a word. Do you know how badly you deceived me that day?"
Being sick is the time when one's emotions and will are at their weakest. The soreness in his eyes completely removed all his protective colors, and the pain that had been suppressed in his throat poured out like a flood.
"I've never seen a sky darker than that night. It turns out that the darkest time isn't ten o'clock, nor is it the early morning, but seven o'clock. The moment the last ray of light is eroded by darkness, in the blink of an eye, everything is gone. Am I greedy? I just want to go back to the past, the past when Luo Shu would see through Fang Qingzhuo's temper no matter how he acted. Why is it so difficult? You said that bad people who commit arson, kidnapping, and adultery can all have the opportunity to reform and become human beings, so why don't I deserve the chance to reconcile? Sometimes I really hope you can call the police to arrest me, lock me up, and punish me accordingly. Wouldn't that make me feel better?"
If there was a hint of accusation in his tone, Xu Luoshu could have accuse him of taking advantage of the situation and making a fuss, but he just kept crying and even looked at her from time to time out of grievance, not daring to make any sound that was unmanly, for fear that she would give him an impatient look.
"I finally waited for you to come back, but there's a new Shen Qianshu by your side. Everything is Shen Qianshu, but I just can't stand you speaking for Shen Qianshu, because the person you always talk about was once me. If someone else likes you, I can snatch you back, but you like someone else, what do you want me to do?"
Long speeches were particularly tiring for his voice, and he almost shouted out the last sentence with all his might. As soon as he finished shouting, he suffered from spontaneous shortness of breath and a violent cough that was too much for him to control. Then he hugged this body and cried endlessly. It was the kind of crying that was like a wail, with his chest heaving and his teeth chattering.
Luo Shu watched him patiently at first, but then a surge of anger suddenly rose to her head, as if she was fed up with his crying, which was no less than a house renovation. She raised her index finger and warned, "Put it back."
Fang Qingzhuo timidly raised his arm and grasped the finger that was pointed at his forehead. His eyes were red and tearful, and he looked so pitiful. However, the owner of the finger gently shook it off.
"Can you please be reasonable?" The corners of his mouth curled down instantly, and there was mist in his eyes, as if he would dare to refuse her if she refused.
"Okay, let's be reasonable." Luo Shu took a deep breath and then stared at him coldly, "Do you think you're the only one suffering?"
After a brief rhetorical question, Fang Qingzhuo fell completely silent. He suddenly remembered the medicine bottles in his bedroom drawer. In addition to the basic common medicines, they were all various sleeping pills and melatonin.
The crying stopped temporarily, and Luo Shu started to talk again as if she was dissatisfied.
"Why don't you cry anymore? You're not ashamed, but I am. Not only are you disturbing others, but you're also so cowardly. Do you still think you're the same naive youngster you were back then? Don't think about how old you are. You're not young anymore. It's useless to act like a little boy. If crying worked, why would we need the police? Don't make my new sofa cover dirty with your tears. I just bought it and washed it two days ago. If you really want to cry your heart out..."
The slender finger that had been pointing at Fang Qingzhuo suddenly shifted its direction and pointed towards the bathroom. "You can either run to the bushes downstairs or hide in the bathroom. Choose one of the two and cry your heart out. If you don't cry like Meng Jiangnu, who brought down the Great Wall, don't come out to see anyone."
The scolding was so harsh and hurtful that Fang Qingzhuo couldn't help but regroup, but now he knew he was being despised, so he learned to sob with his back to others.
After venting, Luo Shu felt refreshed as never before. To be honest, sometimes she really hoped that Fang Qingzhuo was a complete villain, so that she could leave without any regrets like shaking off a piece of mud. However, his premeditated revenge was mixed with sincerity, and he was not afraid to turn against him.
I can’t imagine what new skills of beating and scolding I will develop if I continue to stay here. How will I get through this long night? If I have a nervous breakdown, who will I ask for compensation for the damages? Is it the old crybaby in front of me?
"Fang Qingzhuo, if you dare to cry and disturb my sleep again, get out of here and go to sleep. Take your medicine and go back to wherever you need to go after you finish it."
After giving the ultimatum, he returned to the bedroom decisively and heroically.
After years of insomnia, Luo Shu has developed the ability to swallow pills dry without water. She has been taking sleeping pills more frequently recently. Tonight, she will take two melatonin pills instead. After taking the medicine, she will lie quietly in bed and wait for sleepiness to invade her brain.
Although melatonin is effective, it has a drawback. It is easy to have nightmares and heavy eyelids. The effect of the drug begins to take effect. Before falling asleep, Luo Shu prays repeatedly not to dream about him, but it is not as expected. Her brain still slowly falls into the nightmare called "the past".
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The author has something to say: At night, Fang Qingzhuo, the emoji version [hugging his handsome self with heartache] wiped his tears and comforted himself: Fortunately, at least she didn’t think my crying was ugly...
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