Chapter 14
"Or painkillers?"
"Well, thank you, Aunt Wang."
The doctor in the drug store soon got to know Kang Xingxing. Every time the young man came, his head almost dropped to the ground, his ears were black and red, and his voice was as soft as a mosquito's. The first time he came, she couldn't hear what he was saying at all. He shuttled between the rows of counters, deliberately making himself smaller, his eyes wandering aimlessly. He looked at Ganmao Ling and then at Danggui Wan. She thought he was here to steal something, so she caught him and asked him for a long time before she found out that his sister was having her period and had a stomachache, and he wanted to buy some medicine "to relieve her pain."
"Sister?" The female doctor looked at his face suspiciously. Family planning was strictly enforced in those days, and it was rare for a family to have two children.
Fortunately, the drug store was not far from the Audit Office's family compound. After a while, an old man came in, saw him, and said that the child was not lying. He did have a sister, his father died early, and his mother... The old man shook his head like a rattle, sighed and waved his hands, meaning to forget it. "That girl, don't kneel to the sky, the earth, or your parents, kneel to her brother! What would she do without her brother!"
Women are naturally caring about their children. The doctor felt soft-hearted and his eyes were sore when he heard this. Every time Kang Xingxing came to buy painkillers, she would give him something extra. Sometimes it was a box of iron supplements, as girls are prone to anemia when they have their period. Sometimes it was calcium tablets or vitamins, as the two children were growing, so she would give them any supplements she could.
Kang Xingxing took the things with both hands without saying anything, he was not very good at speaking, but he would bow to her every time he walked to the door, bowing so hard that his head almost hit the ground. How could a grown man withstand such a big gift? But no matter how much she said to him or scolded him, he would still do the same the next time he came.
There was no health and fitness department in the school, but the girls would always talk endlessly when they got together, talking about everything, and of course the topic would inevitably revolve around the changes that had happened to them.
Those were awkward years, and youth wasn't always beautiful. When adults saw the blood on the sheets, they would often frown and sigh, with disgusted looks as if it were dirty evidence of a crime.
This makes the girls feel helpless and even guilty, but even in the same situation, everyone's reaction is different. Some girls (most of them) will think that the pain in their lower abdomen is a punishment for their sins, while some girls are very proud, swinging their braids and walking with their chins held high. They only lower their heads when their sisters talk about this, pretending to be menstruation-shy.
Her mother was disgusted by her two-faced character and scolded her for becoming more and more like her father, being mean and malicious.
But she doesn't think she is a bad person. She just thinks that if something needs to be kept secret, then no one should know about it. It must be hidden again and again. Secrecy is the essence of intelligence science, and secrecy makes her happy.
The girls would borrow sanitary napkins from each other, passing them back and forth under the desks. She would also pass them around, wrapping them in newspaper before handing them to the other person.
The conversation around boys has also changed. It’s no longer “I’m going to beat up all the boys this afternoon!” but “So-and-so next door is so handsome!”
In the selection of the class flower, Zhou Yue could always hear Kang Xingxing's name from time to time. His popularity was not very high. Among a group of seven or eight little fangirls, only two or three would suddenly say something.
But as soon as the three words "Kang Xingxing" came out, Zhou Yue, who was sitting in the corner, felt her heart tighten as if it was going to jump out of her mouth, making her stomach churn. She held her mechanical pencil above the paper and listened attentively until a girl whispered, "No, it's too dark." or "That's such a fierce beating! So scary!" Only then did she feel relieved and continued writing.
In the early 2000s, pretty boys were in vogue, and the TV was either showing Korean dramas or Taiwanese dramas. Zhou Yue flipped through every channel with the remote control, but she couldn't find a male lead she liked. Later, she followed her classmates to watch the most popular Taiwanese idol drama "Lavender" at the time, and she went there for the female lead. She thought Liang Yixun was very gentle and cute, and was the mother she had always dreamed of. She would sacrifice her nap time every day and watch TV under the bright sunshine at noon.
She didn't want to sleep. After washing the dishes, Kang Xingxing stood at the bedroom door, scratching her arms and legs. She felt itchy all over. After struggling for a long time, she tentatively asked, "Yueyue, do you want to take a nap? You'll feel sleepy in the afternoon."
"don't want!"
When he heard this, he didn't say anything. Zhou Yue lay on the big sofa, and he sat on the small sofa, lying on the coffee table to do homework and read, and sometimes he would watch TV with her.
One day they saw Liang Yixun and Ji Qingchuan getting married. Ji Qingchuan kissed Liang Yixun for a long time, unbuttoning her shirt one by one...
Zhou Yue jumped up as if she had been scalded and turned off the TV. The black LCD screen reflected their two faces. Zhou Yue had a serious look on his face, with his soft eyebrows twisted into a ball. Kang Xingxing was still staring at the screen stupidly. It took a long time before he lowered his head and silently picked up the book to read.
"How shameful!" she cried, her neck stiff and her face flushed. She didn't know who was shameful or what was shameful. Kang Xingxing continued to read silently, but she soon became angry. She glanced at him and asked in a shrewd manner, imitating her mother's cunning expression, "Why don't you say anything?"
Kang Xingxing lowered her eyes, her eyelashes thick and dense, and her lips thick as well. She moved for a long time before she managed to mutter, "It's not shameful. They love each other, so it's not shameful."
The midday sun was scorching, which made her feel happy. She held back her laughter and followed him out to school on time.
Kang Xingxing can ride a bicycle. The bicycle was left by Zhou Tiancheng, an imported one. The chain is still as smooth as new and never gets stuck. Zhou Yue sits on the back of the bicycle, hugging his waist. The bicycle speeds along the tree-lined road like flowing water. The warm sunlight makes her squint her eyes. She feels sleepy and simply closes her eyes to feel the mottled shadows of the trees passing by her face, as if she has turned into a bird flying over the Bridge of Sighs, smelling the fragrance of grass, flowers, and his fragrance.
"Chimpanzees."
"Um?"
"I'm going to marry you when I grow up!"
Kang Xingxing was silent for a long time.
"Did you hear that?"
"I heard it."
"Then why don't you say anything?" Zhou Yue closed her eyes and frowned, shouting unhappily: "Do you like Long Xuewei? She always says you are handsome!"
"No, it's because Yueyue and I are brother and sister."
"What happened to the brother and sister?"
"Brothers and sisters cannot marry."
Zhou Yue stopped talking. She didn't speak again that afternoon. After school, she carried her schoolbag and walked out of the school gate by herself. Her shadow was stretched out by the setting sun. She walked onto the bridge, and her shadow was divided into several sections by the bluestone steps.
After a while, another shadow appeared next to her shadow, following like a tail. When she walked fast, the shadow also walked fast. When she walked slowly, the shadow also walked slowly. Finally, their shadows overlapped with hers. "Yueyue, don't be angry anymore." This time he didn't ask her if she wanted to eat candied haws, and she ignored him.
It was dark and the shadow disappeared, but he was still following her. She could hear the rustling of footsteps behind her. When they were almost under the street light, they suddenly became faster. Her hand was grasped by a dry, thick hand.
"But we can always be together, just the two of us."
After a while, he smiled ingratiatingly and said, "With Tiantian."
"Who wants to be with you?" Zhou Yue shook his hand away. "I want to marry a big star like Ji Qingchuan! No, big stars are too fickle. I want to marry a big boss!"
Kang Xingxing didn't say anything else. The two of them walked home, one in front and the other behind. The soft glow of the street lamps was like misty moons. They were like two little fish swimming on the bottom of the sea, swimming into the arched corridor of the family compound and swimming in the dark sea.
After a long time, Kang Xingxing said, "But I won't get married. I will stay home and wait for Yueyue to come back."
"You're kidding! I've already married a big boss, why would I come back?"
"Well," Kang Xingxing laughed foolishly in the dark, "If Yueyue is happy in the big city, then don't come back. But if Yueyue is unhappy, then come back. I'll make her a rice bowl with green peppers and shredded potatoes, and buy her candied haws."
The dark corridor really turned into a vast ocean. There was no oxygen. Zhou Yue found it difficult to breathe, and all she could hear was the roar of her heartbeat.
Like a puppet, she raised her hands and hugged the chest that was so close to her in the dark, her face rubbing against the dry fabric that still had the fresh scent of laundry detergent.
She raised her face, stood on tiptoe, and her lips touched something soft, which she pressed clumsily.
"I'm not going anywhere. I don't want to marry the big boss. I want to marry you."
She was panting. This was her most secret thought. She only had him, and he only had her.
As soon as she finished speaking, her lips were swallowed by that softness, which was slowly and gently held, as if she was holding a priceless gem that she was afraid would melt.
She opened her mouth, and the tip of her tongue stretched out from that soft spot, roughly and greedily wrapping around her soft little tongue tip and sucking it.
She was the one who seduced him. Seeing his useless appearance, she felt proud and afraid. Thinking of her mother's disgusted expression when she took out the blood-stained sheets from the washing machine, a painful joy surged in her heart.
His rough palm, which had so gently caressed her forehead when she had a fever, now roughly lifted up the hem of her dress, yanked off the small piece of soft fabric, and ravaged her roughly and ferociously. "It hurts!" she cried softly, but he pressed her tightly against the cold concrete wall behind him, pretending not to hear. His burning breath spread like wildfire from her ear to her neck, collarbone, and all the way down...
She moaned, puffed out her chest to meet him, and rubbed her fingertips into the roots of his hair, proudly recalling that day in the lingerie store in the mall. He was so embarrassed that he wanted to find a crack in the ground to crawl into. The saleswoman looked at him suspiciously, then at her, as if they were bad children.
"Where are your parents?" she asked sternly.
"My father is dead, my mother doesn't care about me, and I was raised by my brother!" She raised her neck frankly, half snatched and half took the cotton bra from her hand, and walked into the fitting room with her head held high, while her brother who raised her stood outside the store with his head lowered like a criminal waiting to be executed.
She finally chose a pure white one with only a circle of lace at the buckle.
"I can't button it!" She screamed in front of the bathroom mirror that night. He struggled to get in and moved behind her. He fumbled with his thick, round fingernails for a long time, sweating profusely, before he finally buttoned it. Beads of sweat the size of beans trickled down his nose and dripped onto her bare back...
The moon-like street lamp was blurred by the tears, but in the blink of an eye it became clear again and turned into a green tourmaline table lamp.
At night, the jingling sound of the scavengers' bells at the gate of the Audit Office's staff compound turned into the rapid and intense rattling of iron chains.
The rough hair between her fingers also grew longer, becoming soft and slender, mixed with white, and stained with the fragrance of cigar.
After a while, the head in his arms lifted up, his willow-shaped eyes full of smiles, the blush at the corners of his eyes spreading to his temples. He met her stunned tearful eyes, and his voice was tinged with lust:
"You're working so hard today, for Tiantian?" Her cherry-red lips were stained with translucent milk, and her mouth was red with excitement. She asked softly, "Or have you thought of something else?"
The baby's cries had long since died away, lost in the dead silence of the mountain night. A faint gurgling sound rose from the pool below, a sound like crocodiles diving on a still night. Aunt Xu had a peaceful expression as she took him away. Where had she taken him? Where had that damned Kang Xingxing gone? They didn't want her anymore.
"Jiang Huai, Jiang Huai, Jiang Huai..." Her voice was too hoarse to make a sound. She called out several times before she managed to utter a word. "Please let Tiantian go, okay? Please, throw me to the bottom of the mountain... No, no, no, no," she hurriedly changed the words, smiling ingratiatingly. Her almost transparent eyes were wide open, flashing a nervous light, and she begged with laughter and tears, "I'll go by myself, I'll climb down by myself, or you can call Lao Liao and use the same things you used on my brother on me, okay? My brother has a stubborn temper, but I'm different. I'm afraid of pain. If I feel pain, I will definitely scream. I know you love to hear it."
She cried, "Please let Tiantian go."
The man closed his eyes and smiled, strands of wet hair draped over his forehead. He panted, not knowing whether he was enjoying her body or her words. When he opened his eyes again, lust spread across his red eyes, and he smiled intoxicatedly. He stroked her bare arm, pausing when he reached her wrist under the pillow. He said softly, "Songzhu is pregnant, and it's a boy. She's not like some dogs that can't be fed well, eating their own food and betraying their parents. If this child is born and still lives..." He brushed aside her sweaty hair and looked at her dotingly, "What will be the consequences, ma'am?"
"Life is a cycle of reincarnation," he sighed with a mournful smile. "My brother has been paralyzed for thirteen years, but his mind is clear and his eyes can move. I had the doctor put a board in front of him with two options: left for death, right for life. Guess where he looked?" He smiled mysteriously. "He cried, and his eyes were fixed on the left for a whole day and night. How pitiful! After all, we are half brothers. Today is June 29th, the anniversary of my parents' death, so I will help him."
"Will Tiantian treat my son like this? Think about it, they are two brothers, they are not even half-brothers."
He kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose, her lips. He was still smiling when she pulled the knife out from under the pillow. He dodged slightly, and the small blade cut into his arm. Hot, sticky blood and sweat splashed on her face. Her nose and mouth were filled with the smell of blood, choking her and making her cough violently. Every cough sprayed blood. He pinched her neck tightly, raised his head and sighed freely. His pale skin turned red, his eyes bloodshot, and he released in the violent collision...
…
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