Chapter 52
"Ha! Damn, it's still moving." The man laughed. He sat with his back to the window. The warm afternoon sun poured in from the window behind him, like a layer of golden gauze wrapping the small cloth bag on his leg. A small foot was exposed, crystal white and translucent, but it was too small, as small as a cat's paw.
He crossed his legs leisurely, lifted the piece of cloth with two fingers and took a look. He chuckled and looked up at the young man standing behind him. "Are your sister-in-law and I really that ugly?"
Liao Jie put his hands behind his back, looked down, smiled, and said nothing.
"Your daughter was born like this?" Jiang Huai tilted his head and looked down at the little face under the cloth. "She was wrinkled."
Liao Jie glanced at him and smiled, "Yes, premature babies are all the same, they haven't grown up yet."
Jiang Huai didn't say anything after hearing this. He smiled silently, let go of his hand, and covered the little face with the cloth.
He leaned back on the sofa and yawned, then raised his eyelids to look at the nearby hospital bed. The gold foil balloons in the corner of the wall floated and spun close to the ceiling in the sunlight, reflecting tiny specks of light that passed through his eyes. A mischievous, malicious smile emerged from the dark, cold well. "Awake?"
"I thought you were in a hurry to die too." He smiled, his hand hovering over the little face covered with cloth, gently covering it. After hesitating for a moment, he let it go again. He stood up, patted the swaddling clothes that were as small as a rice dumpling, and walked to the bedside, humming the Wu language nursery rhyme he had sung to his little sister who died young:
"My dear, who do you want to hold?
I want my mother to hold me, my mother has a hunched back, please don’t fall.
My dear, who do you want to hold you?
I want my dad to hold me, my dad goes out to earn gold ingots
..."
He stood by the open window, the white gauze curtains blown by the wind. He was also white: white shirt and white pants, pale skin, meticulously combed white hair... Only his eyes were black, as bottomless as the abyss, like a fox demon that had eaten a human and transformed into a human form, smiling and singing:
"My dear, who do you want to hold?
I want my brother to hold me and let him study and write.
My dear, there is no one to hold you here, so it’s better for you to go for a walk at home.”
He looked out the window at the tall buildings, smiled and said softly, "Look, Shenzhen is so beautiful."
The little thing in my arms seemed to be aware of something, squirming its limbs, its eyes closed, and its little head turned towards the bed following the smell.
Jiang Huai held him in both hands, staring down with his dark eyes. He waited until he stopped before smiling kindly and rocking him gently. "Oh...oh..." He rocked him and pointed out the window with a smile. "See that vacant lot? There will be tall buildings there soon, taller than the sky. It's yours." After saying that, he glanced at the person lying on the bed. Her eyes were already open, and she was looking at him expressionlessly.
"Oh..." Jiang Huai walked around to her pillow, bringing with him the lingering fragrance of old sandalwood from the temple. He opened the swaddling clothes and held the baby from a distance to admire him. "Guess who it looks like? You or me?"
"Be careful." She gave him a slow smile, "Keep it away."
"Hmm..." He wasn't annoyed at all, pretending not to hear. He tilted his head and looked back and forth, his pale face flushing red from laughing, the same red as the cinnabar mole between his eyebrows. "Still like you." Then he lowered his voice to the child in his arms and whispered quietly, "But don't be like your mother. She's not humorous at all."
The child sensed the breath getting stronger, and the amplitude of the movement of his little body became stronger and stronger. The whimpering sound was so weak that it could not be considered as crying. He twisted his thin neck like a kitten and turned towards the direction where the woman was lying.
After what happened just now, Jiang Huai's movements became more natural, more like a good father who had a son in middle age. He smiled and rocked the little guy in his arms, raised his chin towards him, and said lovingly:
"Oh, really? That's right! Your mother is so annoying! You finally came here and gave her the face to call her mom, but she doesn't even look at you. Let's go, let's ignore her!"
After saying that, he glanced at her again, picked up the child and started walking away. Liao Jie followed behind him. Before leaving, he looked back at her and bowed respectfully. When he stood up, his face expressionless: "Madam, Mr. Jiang didn't want you to die, so please don't mention it again. Mr. Jiang is actually in a good mood today. Please don't make things worse."
"I want to die," he said with a grin. "But when it comes to that, I've never seen anyone not regret it."
Zhou Yue was discharged from the hospital not long after, and it was Xie Jun who came to pick her up. The only interaction between her and Xie Jun was the few limited conversations they had during the long car journey when he sent her to the store on that rainstorm morning.
But Xie Jun was already one of the few familiar faces Zhou Yue could see. As for where the others had gone and what they were doing, she had no idea at that time.
Everyone around Jiang Huai is a good person, a truly innocent person. You may have joined his company after graduating from college, or even seen him at the orientation meeting before graduation. He stood in the tiered classroom, dressed in a suit and tie, holding a microphone and walking from the first row to the last row. He could make the students laugh with just a few words. If your seat was facing the corridor, he would sit at your table, point the microphone at you with a smile, ask you a question that you could definitely answer, and praise you sincerely, which also made you sincerely like him, admire him, and be willing to follow him.
His hair was completely white, but he didn't dye it because it made him look compassionate. He went in and out of a temple more and more frequently, burning incense and praying. He washed the blood off his hands and turned it into scarlet Buddhist beads on his wrist.
Zhou Yue thought about all this despair. All of this would be buried in the soil and laid into foundations. Magnificent skyscrapers would rise from the ground and fly towards a bright future with Shenzhen.
Jianghuai stands in the sunshine and spring breeze, enjoying peace and prosperity.
She sat woodenly in the wheelchair and listened to the doctor say that the child was in an incubator.
"Incubator."
"Yes, in an incubator." The doctor, who had been staring at the computer, now looked at her, his eyes above the mask revealing no emotion. "She was born too early, her organs aren't fully developed yet, and she has severe neonatal jaundice and..." He lowered his head, taking a breath, and said, "and pneumonia caused by amniotic fluid infection."
Zhou Yue lowered her head even lower. "It's been six months, it's not that early."
The doctor stopped talking, looked at her deeply, and passed a piece of paper across the table to her. "Please sign the discharge form, Ms. Zhou."
Xie Jun, Liao Jie and Aunt Xu were all old acquaintances who she was used to calling her. Apart from them, no one called her Mrs. Jiang or Madam Jiang anymore, and no one called her Miss Zhou either. She was twenty-five years old, with white hair, and it was a bit disgusting to describe her as "little".
She was no longer the famous "Little Moon" and was no longer favored by Jiang Huai. She became an ordinary Ms. Zhou.
The hospital was still empty. Zhou Yue thought that she might die here, just like Dai Yan.
She didn't look at Dai Yan when she passed the second floor.
But before Xingxing passed away, Zhou Yue often went to see her. Now she not only opened her eyes, but also blinked. Zhou Yue leaned over and whispered in her ear that she met a boy named Xiao Yuan, and Dai Yan responded by blinking frequently.
Once, Zhou Yue sat next to her and peeled an apple. She said that she had not been home for many years. After everything was over, she wanted to go home with Xiao Yuan to see Zhou Tiancheng. When Dai Yan heard Zhou Tiancheng's name, tears kept flowing.
Even at this point, Dai Yan still cried for Zhou Tiancheng night after night.
"Ma'am, are you going to see your mother?"
Xie Jun pushed Zhou Yue to the stairs and stayed there. The sun was shining brightly, and the open door of the ward could be seen across the long corridor. The afternoon sun shone through the window into the corridor, reflecting the swaying shadows of the trees.
"No."
In fact, Zhou Yue really wanted to ask Dai Yan if she still remembered the stars. She was the only one who remembered the stars besides Zhou Yue.
Only she and Zhou Yue remembered the taciturn, ugly little black boy, wearing a white vest, standing on a stool and taking Lego from the cupboard.
But neither she nor she deserves to miss him, both she and she are murderers.
"Xie Jun, could you please..." Zhou Yue raised her head and smiled apologetically, "Take me to see the little one."
"Yes, yes ma'am."
Xie Jun's eyes lit up as if he saw hope. He pushed her to the third floor. There was a small room with a small incubator. Through the glass, he could see the little thing lying inside. It was only a little bigger than a palm. Under the blue light, he couldn't see the skin color. He could only see that the body was full of tubes, and even the head was full of needle holes. It was wrapped in several layers of diapers, and its tiny ribs rose and fell with its breathing.
"He... he's still alive." She reached out and placed her hand gently on the glass.
"Yes! He's alive!" Xie Jun nodded desperately.
Zhou Yue stopped talking. The two of them were silent for a while. After a while, Xie Jun smiled and said, "Madam, I brought my girlfriend over."
"Really? That's great." Zhou Yue looked at the little thing in the insulated box and smiled. "She still eats two pork elbows for one meal?"
"No, two elbows aren't even enough to fill her teeth now." Xie Jun smiled and scratched his head. "She's pregnant now, and she keeps asking for hot pot mutton. Now my head starts buzzing when I hear the word mutton hot pot."
"Hahaha!" Zhou Yue laughed along with him, stroking the warm glass, her smile as lonely as the setting sun. "Having children is a good thing. Children are hope."
"Yes, ma'am!" Xie Jun gripped the wheelchair armrests, sweating profusely as he spoke anxiously, "Look at this child! He looks so much like you!"
"Hahaha! What?" Zhou Yue laughed so hard that her eyes almost went blind. "Who can you tell who this wrinkled little thing looks like?"
But Xie Jun stopped smiling. He lowered his head and gripped the wheelchair armrests tightly, his eyes wide open. "Madam, you must be well, and the child must be well too. Everything will be fine. You are such a good person, and God has a good eye for you."
Zhou Yue smiled calmly and nodded gently, "Okay."
Zhou Yue returned to "home". The toothbrush caused her child to be born prematurely and also brought her indelible pain. She couldn't sleep at night because of the pain in her lower abdomen. Her lochia kept flowing and she sat in a wheelchair for a long time. It was the Chinese New Year that year, and she sat like this until almost the New Year. Aunt Xu still cared about her as usual.
"I'm sorry, Aunt Xu, I'm sorry."
"It's not a big deal, it's not a big deal." Aunt Xu said with a smile, wrapped her in a wool blanket, and looked at her in the mirror in the dim light. "It's almost the New Year, I'll help you dye your hair."
"Don't dye it anymore." Zhou Yue smiled, "It's fine just to keep it white like this."
"Women, you should always be beautiful." Aunt Xu had already brought warm water and opened the jar of hair dye as she spoke. Without looking at her, she gently lifted the hair from her temples to cover the broken temporal bone. "This is not for men to see, but for yourself. This is your spirit."
“To do what you want to do, you must have energy and spirit.”
Zhou Yue looked up at her, but she looked calm, as if she hadn't said anything.
On Chinese New Year's Day, Shenzhen was extremely lively. The sky was dotted with stars, neon lights were flashing, fireworks were blooming in patches, the night was as bright as day, and the sound of firecrackers was particularly loud in this suburban area. Every pause you could hear the children's laughter and screams of joy.
Zhou Yue was in the bedroom on the second floor. When the door opened, she was rubbing her silver chain on the bed, which was as soft as a chiffon cake, as usual.
"Have you eaten the New Year's Eve dinner?"
Jiang Huai came in holding the baby in his arms, wearing a blue satin shirt and a burgundy polka-dot tie, fashionable colors that only women can match. His perfume was also fresh and elegant, creating a very New Year atmosphere.
silence.
He glanced at her, his gaze lingering on her black hair for half a second, and said with a smile, "Aunt Xu said you only ate porridge."
Still silent.
He raised the corner of his mouth sarcastically, and without saying anything else, he placed the swaddling clothes on the bed, untied his tie, unbuttoned a few buttons of his shirt, and deftly took the small bib draped over the crib and placed it on his shoulders. He unwrapped the swaddling clothes and took the child out, letting his little head rest on his shoulder while humming a song to comfort him. He came over and sat on the small sofa at the end of the bed, bringing with him a smell of alcohol. He smiled at Zhou Yue, who was curled up in the quilt with her back to him, polishing her silver chain, and said, "Give our son a name."
As soon as the sound of the chain grinding stopped, Zhou Yue raised her head wrapped in the quilt. The green tourmaline table lamp next to the sofa cast her silhouette on the wall.
"Everyday." She whispered.
"What?" Jiang Huai frowned while smiling.
"Tiantian." She looked at the shadow. "Tiantian."
"Okay." Jiang Huai sneered, too lazy to ask any questions. He picked up the child and held him high. The small black shadow on the wall was also high, merging with Zhou Yue's shadow.
"Tian...Tian." He dragged his voice in a bored tone, as if going through the motions. "Okay, let's just call you... Jiang Huaitian."
"Heh." Zhou Yue lowered her head and smiled, then began to grind the chain again. "Silly."
Jiang Huai tilted his head and looked at her with a smile for a while, then picked up Tiantian and put her in the crib, then turned around and slapped her.
Zhou Yue lowered her head, glancing at the blood dripping onto the snow-white quilt. She looked up at him expressionlessly. His white hair shone brightly under the light, and the smile lines at the corners of his eyes were gentle. He pinched her chin and turned her head back and forth, admiring the metallic sheen. "You said you were nostalgic, and I am, but I'm the only one who's nostalgic. Isn't that a bit unfair?"
"Go to hell." She tilted her head back, her teeth chattering.
"I'm going to die?" He looked like he had just heard a joke and couldn't react. He laughed dazedly, his head tilted back, and slapped her broken temporal bone, making it creak. He exhaled the scalding smell of alcohol. "What will happen to you and Tiantian if I die? Huh? Go back and sell them? You'll rot your head and body, and see if anyone wants you, you slut!"
"I'm the only one who wants you, baby, because I love you." He leaned close to her, lowered his head and murmured with his eyes closed. After a while, he suddenly smiled, opened his eyes and looked back at the crib behind him. It seemed that he had come up with a brilliant idea. When he turned back, his eyes were shining with excitement. "How about we let the fruit of our love see how he came about?"
She said nothing, just stared at him. When he stuffed clothes into her mouth, she bit his hand hard, earning herself a series of slaps in return… She was numb with pain, and the broken light and shadows on the ceiling shook violently, making her want to vomit. His loud moans and filthy curses seemed so far away, too far to be heard. She could only hear Tiantian's faint sobs. She turned to look at him, and for the first time, saw his eyes open. They were pitch black and bright, reflecting the blue fireworks blooming outside the window in the darkness, like flaming roses burning on that stormy night…
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