Chapter 8
The end of August is the rainy season in the north. Except for the sunny day when she was five years old, Zhou Yue remembers that it was always raining heavily on her birthday. It was the 25th, and her birthday was in three days.
"Gorilla, what gift do you think Dad will bring me when he comes back this time?" Zhou Yue finished her homework long ago and sat in front of the TV to watch "Sailor Moon" before 5:30. She recently gave up the great hero Tuxedo Mask and became fascinated by the villain Nephrite who was willing to die to save his beloved.
"It turns out that big bad guys also have a good side and can love." She held her chin with both hands. This was the first time that Zhou Yue in her childhood felt heartbroken for love.
"I don't know, but Yueyue must like it." Kang Xingxing has never had any reaction to the word "love". He only answers practical questions, such as birthday gifts, which are topics that are close at hand.
His thick black eyebrows were always flat, and they would only be twisted into a knot seriously when he was solving math problems. Even when Zhou Yue was lying on the sofa, he still came over with his homework book and a small stool, and lay on the coffee table to do the problems.
He was obsessed with mathematics. After finishing a problem, he would try a new solution and solve it over and over again for fun.
"Alas... Dad never comes home, and now Mom doesn't come home either."
But this wasn't fair to Zhou Tiancheng. He came home more often than before, without saying hello to anyone. He would come back in the middle of the night, dragging his suitcase and the keys rattling. Zhou Yue, half asleep, heard Kang Xingxing say, "Uncle Zhou is back."
She vaguely saw light coming through the crack in the door, the sound of water dripping in the bathroom for a while, and then her parents' bedroom door opened and closed, and then they fell asleep again.
The one who's become less fond of going home is Dai Yan. She won't be home until eight or nine in the evening. Her hair has become even curlier, and her green eyeshadow has completely covered her eye sockets. From a distance, her entire face looks like eyes, like a spider spirit from the Silken Web Cave. Her strong perfume masks her "mom" scent, and she wears very thin high heels...
These beautiful things were like thorns growing on her mother's body. Every time Zhou Yue wanted to hug her, she would be pushed away. "Tsk, don't rub against me." Dai Yan frowned and looked down at her.
Kang Xingxing raised his head and looked at Zhou Yue quietly, his brows wrinkled like iron lumps relaxed. It was raining heavily outside, and the lights in the living room were off, only the TV screen was on. He curled up at her feet like a dark shadow, silent and disappointing.
"Yueyue, are you hungry?" He did not answer the question about Dai Yan not coming home at night. He ran to the kitchen, stepped on a small stool and took a box of Master Kong braised beef noodles from the cabinet.
Instant noodles in bowls first appeared in 1998. There were a lot of them at home. Dai Yan didn't come home to cook more and more often. This kind of instant noodles was very convenient. You just had to boil water and soak them. But Kang Xingxing still cooked instant noodles for Zhou Yue every time.
He stepped on a stool to turn on the gas, lit the fire, put the noodles, seasoning packet and chopped vegetables into the bubbling pot, beat an egg, and when it was cooked, he scooped it out with chopsticks. His every move was skillful and experienced, like a little adult.
"So delicious!" Children like to eat strong-flavored seasonings. Every time Zhou Yue eats from the bowl, she sweats profusely and drinks up all the soup. Kang Xingxing sits beside her, propping up her chin and watching her eat. Her apron is too long and covers her feet, making her look like she is wearing a long skirt.
"Yueyue, let me ask you a question."
The yellow light in the kitchen was warm, and Kang Xingxing's dark face, with its big eyes and thick eyebrows, looked much more delicate. He clenched his fleshy hands together, his eyelashes drooping as he said, "If Uncle Zhou and Aunt Dai Yan break up, who will you go with?"
"Mom." Zhou Yue picked up the green leaves from the bowl.
"But Uncle Zhou has lots and lots of money."
"I don't care. Mom is so pitiful. I want to stay with her." Zhou Yue insisted. Every time after her parents quarreled, her father took the key and left without looking back. He slammed the door, leaving her mother alone sitting in the dark bedroom crying. She could hear her mother sobbing and choking even when she stood at the door, but she didn't dare to go in every time.
"If you want to follow Dad, then follow him," Zhou Yue wiped her mouth. She had eaten too much MSG and was beginning to feel thirsty. "I'll follow Mom, and you follow Dad. Anyway, Dad loves you the most."
Kang Xingxing took out a watermelon from the refrigerator and held it in front of Zhou Yue with trembling hands. She took a small iron spoon and inserted it into the red watermelon flesh. With a rustling sound, she cut out a piece from the middle and fed it to her, "Then I will follow Aunt Dai Yan too."
"Why? Then dad will have no one to accompany him?" Zhou Yue wiped the hair stuck to her neck by sweat.
Kang Xingxing took the bowl to the sink and said as she washed it, "Wherever Yueyue goes, I'll go."
"A tail-chaser!"
Dai Yan did not go home that night.
That was the first time Dai Yan did not come home all night, and unfortunately, Zhou Yue ate hot noodles and ice watermelon, and she started to have diarrhea as soon as she lay down on the bed. It rained heavily outside all night with thunder and lightning. Kang Xingxing stayed with her for most of the night, going back and forth between the bathroom and the bedroom. She only felt better after taking a tablet of tetracycline.
It was early in the morning. Zhou Yue was covered in cold sweat, with her bangs sticking to her forehead, as if she had just been pulled out of ice water. She was tired, sleepy, and cold. Kang Xingxing held her in his arms, and his little black hands rubbed her stomach again and again. They were wrapped in a quilt.
"Yueyue, I'm sorry," he whispered softly, his hot breath fanning her ear, "I didn't take good care of you."
"Mom hasn't come back yet." Zhou Yue kept listening at the door, even when she was sitting on the toilet with her stomach aching, but there was no sound of the door opening.
"Um."
"What if my parents don't want me anymore?" Zhou Yue was so sleepy that she couldn't open her eyes, and her throat was hoarse and her voice broke. "I would have no home."
Kang Xingxing stopped rubbing her belly.
"No, the stars are the moon's home."
But when he said this, Zhou Yue in his arms was already asleep, snoring with her mouth half open. In her dream, she felt like a leaf was covering her face, which was wet with cold sweat. The leaf was warm and moving, moving from her cheek all the way to the corner of her lips.
Unfortunately, happiness is like a leaf that breaks into pieces when torn, and is easily blown away by wind and rain. On her birthday, Zhou Yue waited for her father, but did not get a gift from him.
On the 26th, Dai Yan came back, carrying a large basket of vegetables and meat. She kicked off her high heels and leopard-print shirt, and ran into the kitchen wearing only a white suspender and a hip skirt. She tied her hair up and worked in the kitchen for the whole afternoon, cooking four large pots of dishes.
Zhou Yue likes braised pork ribs, and Kang Xingxing likes fish, but fish is too troublesome to prepare. But on this day, Dai Yan bought pomfret for the first time, the round and flat kind, and made steamed pomfret. She also stir-fried lettuce and celery with dried tofu. The three of them couldn't finish it in one lunch, so she wrapped it in plastic wrap and put it in the refrigerator. She never mentioned the reason why she didn't come home last night.
"The food is enough for tomorrow. Xingxing, please heat it up for your sister. I have something to do in the afternoon and won't be back tonight." Dai Yan said while washing dishes. Kang Xingxing sat at the dining table behind her without saying a word.
"Mom, my stomach hurt so much last night. I had diarrhea so bad that it turned into water, and I vomited."
Zhou Yue walked over and lay on the stove to look at her mother's profile. A lock of curly hair blocked her mother's eyes, leaving only the tip of her straight nose exposed.
"Eat less chilled watermelon, skip dinner, and drink more hot water." Dai Yan didn't even look at her daughter from beginning to end. She turned around and looked at Kang Xingxing, "Take good care of your sister." She didn't say anything else after that. She washed the dishes, cleaned up the garbage, and left again.
The 27th was calm and peaceful. Zhou Yue and Kang Xingxing finished the last few pages of their summer homework. At that time, there was no English class yet, so there were only Chinese and math classes, two exercise books and a few essays. Zhou Yue wanted to be lazy, but Kang Xingxing watched her do her homework every day, so the homework was almost finished before the end of the summer vacation.
Zhou Yue is very good at Chinese, but Kang Xingxing must accompany her to do her math homework.
"Oh, I don't know how to do it! Why don't you just copy yours for me? I will pay attention in class this new semester!"
"No, Yueyue has to make it herself."
Kang Xingxing was very principled in this regard and never let Zhou Yue copy from him. No matter how much she cried or threw a tantrum, it was useless. In the end, she could only lie on the desk with swollen eyes and listen to Kang Xingxing's incessant explanation of the questions. Her pen hung on the paper, as if frozen. All she could think about was "The power of the Moon Prism! Transformation!"
The summer wind blows all day long. No matter how hot it is in the north, the next rain will bring chill to the heart. The white gauze curtains are blown up by the wind, and the laughter of children downstairs floats up in waves, along with the sound of cooking and the sizzling aroma of oil in the air.
In the evening, the old people brought their stools and sat in the open space of the family compound to chat about family matters. When they waved their palm-leaf fans, a family would fall into disgrace, and their grandchildren would climb up and down the rusty parallel bars and single-person treadmills, playing and fighting.
In the early morning of the 28th, Zhou Yue and Kang Xingxing were awakened by the sound of a door slamming. The iron door slammed shut, but there was no other sound. The room was quiet, with only the rustling sound of clothes rubbing against each other and the muffled sound of something soft hitting the wall, a thud, and then another thud after a while.
They slipped out of bed and leaned over the crack in the door to look out. The incandescent light in the living room was pale, and the sky was filled with a glaring scarlet red. It was on the walls, the floor, the coffee table... everywhere.
Dai Yan turned from a spotted leopard into a red leopard, and a long bloodstain on the tile floor stretched from the door to the living room.
Zhou Tiancheng stood with his back to the bedroom door, his face could not be seen clearly. The sleeves of his black shirt were rolled up high. He was breathing heavily, and it seemed as if there was something breathing in his lungs as well. He panted for a long time, then suddenly bent down and grabbed Dai Yan's hair. He twisted the wavy hair into a rope in his hand, picked it up and threw it against the wall. There was another thud. Her swollen eyelids were half open and half closed. She watched his every move with a smile on her face, as if she was having a sweet dream.
"How is it? Does it taste good?" She could hardly make a sound, speaking with her last breath, and seemed to be laughing so hard that she couldn't breathe, and her head hit the ground with the back of her head.
"Dad! Dad, don't hit Mom!" Zhou Yue rushed out and held Zhou Tiancheng's palm. It was hot and sticky, and there were black scabs on his knuckles. It was impossible to tell whose blood it was. He looked down at his daughter, his face pale, even whiter than the wall.
"Don't hit my mother! Don't hit my mother!" Zhou Yue cried and screamed, tilting her neck back and hitting Zhou Tiancheng's legs and butt with her little fists. Her vision was blurred and her throat felt like it was torn into rags. Her screams turned into sobs.
Kang Xingxing cried with her, hugged her with his short arms, and protected her behind him, like a shadow eager to protect its true body. If its true body was gone, he would be horrified.
"Just like your mother, a dog that can't be fed well."
Zhou Tiancheng looked down at his daughter's face for a long time and suddenly smiled. This was the first time Zhou Tiancheng made any comments about his daughter. There was no "well-behaved", "cute", or "smart". He had never made any comments about his daughter before. Today was the first time.
Coincidentally, several years later, another man made the same evaluation of Zhou Yue.
As he was speaking, Dai Yan woke up and thrashed around on the ground for a while. Just as she was about to stand up with the support of her head, Zhou Tiancheng kicked her against the wall with another thud.
But this time, Zhou Tiancheng had used up his last bit of strength. He staggered and gasped several times in succession, so rapidly that it seemed as if he couldn't breathe. Then he suddenly knelt on the ground, and with a "wow" sound, a hideous flower of blood spurted on the wall.
Including Dai Yan who was half-conscious, the three of them just stood there in a daze.
"Tiancheng? Tiancheng!"
In the end, Dai Yan still called Zhou Tiancheng "Tiancheng", crawled to his side staggeringly, and cried like a cuckoo crying blood. She hugged him tightly and raised her hand to hit him, but it turned into a caress on his thin shoulders.
After that day, Zhou Tiancheng never went out again, never smoked again, and just sat on the sofa in a daze.
Zhou Yue and Kang Xingxing came home after school, quietly walked into the bedroom, put down their schoolbags, and then came out again, lying at the bedroom door to peek at him.
In the sunshine, he sometimes closed his eyes to rest, but more often he stared at the ceiling in a daze, his sunken cheeks looking gray in the mottled light and shadow of the leaves outside the window.
Sometimes he would close his eyes and rest for too long. Zhou Yue would quietly walk over to him, but he would wake up when he was three or four steps away. He would open his eyes, look down at her, and smile at her, "Is school over? Do you have much homework?"
Sometimes they would have craft assignments on weekends and monthly basis, such as making a doll with cloth and cotton, or giving out cardboard with tank parts printed on it and asking you to cut them out and assemble a tank.
At times like this, Zhou Yue and Kang Xingxing were particularly busy. Watercolor pens, scissors, glue, scraps of paper, and cut pieces of cloth... were all spread out on the coffee table.
Zhou Tiancheng was sitting on the sofa watching. As he was watching, he stood up and picked up something on the table. His hands were so dexterous and thin that only bones were left. After a few movements up and down, he folded a paper flower with layers of petals.
He could also thread a needle, draw the shape of a little man on a piece of cloth, cut it out, sew a few stitches, and then turn it over, and a human-shaped cloth bag would appear. He would then stuff some cotton into it, sew up the edges, and it would become a plump doll.
He didn't say a word while doing this, as if there was no one around him but him. After he was done, he leaned back on the sofa.
Zhou Yue was so excited that she looked at the thing her father made from left to right, as if it were a rare treasure, but she didn't notice that her father was looking at her.
The home phone became very busy. Zhou Tiancheng only showed some of his previous ruffian look when he answered the phone, smiling with a toothpick in his mouth and speaking fluent Cantonese. Cantonese always gives people a passionate and gangster feeling, but when Zhou Tiancheng spoke Cantonese, his eyes were shining, alert and focused, without any smile.
The uncles took turns running home. Every time they came, they brought a lot of things with them. Several big and strong old men sat on the sofa, crying and snotting. To be honest, it was a bit disgusting.
Sometimes Zhou Tiancheng got tired of them crying and would yell at them with all his might, "Get out!" followed by a violent coughing fit.
The house became lively. Zhou Yue didn't know whether to be happy or sad. She was happy because her mother no longer dressed herself like the spider spirit. She didn't wear makeup anymore. Her round but slightly upturned fox eyes were watery, weak and sad.
She came home as soon as she got off work. Her big wavy hair was dry and brown, but she didn't care. She just grabbed it and tied it up casually, went to the bedroom to change into loose clothes, and went into the kitchen. She cooked a sumptuous meal every time.
The sad thing is that Dad no longer talks to Mom. He doesn't respond when Mom talks to him, and he doesn't sit at the table to eat even when the meal is ready. So Mom picks out some dishes and rice, brings them to the living room, and puts them on the coffee table.
Zhou Yue and Kang Xingxing were eating at the kitchen table. In the dark living room without the lights on, their mother was talking to their father. They were speaking very quietly, sometimes with slight sobs, but from beginning to end there was only their mother's voice, not their father's.
But Dad still sleeps with Mom. Dad goes to bed very early, sometimes after eight o'clock. At that time, Kang Xingxing and Zhou Yue take turns taking a bath.
Mom was the last one to wash. After washing, she wrapped a towel around her head and lay in the bathtub to clean up the mess, wipe the sink, mop the floor, and put the family's clothes into the washing machine... Finally, she turned off all the lights in the house and went to the bedroom to sleep.
Zhou Yue would lie on the wall and listen every night, wary of her father bullying her mother again, but she was very quiet.
This silent stalemate lasted for a long time, so long that Zhou Yue felt that her father could no longer see her mother because of some mysterious "barrier".
Only in the gap between time and the barrier, when her mother turned around, Zhou Yue occasionally saw her father's dry eyes move. He followed her mother to a very far place, and only turned his gaze back to watch TV when her mother's figure disappeared.
But everything on TV was like a shadow passing before his eyes. He was watching, but it seemed like he was not watching.
This is Zhou Yue’s last memory of “home”.
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