Guitarist and Shadowless Kick (3)
Compared to dance or instrumental competitions, singing competitions tend to resonate more deeply, perhaps because the performances are mostly familiar pieces. Zhao Shihua wasn't sure if the order of performance was based on grade or registration, but the order from first to fifth was, well, from old to new, like a journey through time: someone sang "Childhood" solo with a guitar, three girls linked arms and sang SHE's "Magic," someone sang "She Said" with a perfectly lifelike imitation of JJ Lin's vocals, and someone else copied Jay Chou's "Ukulele" music video, strumming a ukulele on stage, with two boys dancing hula on either side...
Seven or eight of the ten songs were familiar pop hits, prompting many students to spontaneously sing along, including Zhao Shihua. The atmosphere gradually heated up, building to a fever pitch. She felt as if she were watching a star-studded New Year's Eve concert, with various superstars taking the stage one after another. Many in the audience were already waving their phones' flashlights like glow sticks.
Although Zhao Shihua had never attended a live concert, she felt a sense of pure, dreamlike emotion amidst the ever-changing light and shadow effects. She was completely enveloped by the warm atmosphere. She was surrounded by people, yet it felt like she was alone. She cast off her usual mask and accepted everything with a defenseless and soft attitude. The power of the music and the hope of the lyrics filled her heart.
Next, it was Shao Yifu's band's turn to perform. Because they arrived late, they didn't get the program. They only heard the host announce the song title: "Light Years of Midsummer." It sounded very artistic, and Xu Jiamei quickly grabbed her hand and excitedly shouted, "Ah! It's my favorite Mayday!"
They all changed into their own outfits: Shao Yifu's bright red sweatshirt was striking, with a large hook on the front as a nod to his own self-esteem; Zhou Xin's black jacket shimmered, probably from rivets or sequins; another boy, also wearing a guitar (later corrected by Xu Jiamei as a bass), wore a simple white shirt, his bangs almost covering his eyes, creating a melancholic look; and finally, the keyboardist, with his adorable mushroom-shaped head capped with a light-colored knitted hat and a dark plaid shirt that reached his knees. Each had a distinct style, yet they all conveyed the band's atmosphere—undoubtedly a street barbershop alternative.
"Shao Yifu looks a little panicked." Xu Jiamei whispered in her ear.
"What's wrong?" Zhao Shihua just felt that something was wrong.
"Didn't you notice? He turned sideways when he came on stage just now."
The four people stood in a parallelogram on the stage, with the drum set placed in the back row, slightly to the right. Shao Yifu and the bassist stood in the front, slightly to the side, so as not to block Zhou Xin behind them, and the electronic keyboard was placed in the middle of the front row.
Preparations took a while. Although the drum set and keyboard had already been brought to the stage, the electric guitar didn't produce any sound when connected to the speakers. It took two students to adjust it before it finally worked. Shao Yifu kept touching his hair and tugging at his clothes, his little movements unstoppable. It seems that even the thickest skinned person can still get nervous.
Everything was ready. Before the bright lights dimmed, Zhao Shihua saw Shao Yifu take a deep breath, and the prelude sounded -
The guitar and string music sounded, the blue light became deeper and thicker, and the four people on the stage seemed to sink to the bottom of the sea. The girl playing the piano sang in a slightly low voice:
“I am proud of the destruction/I hate the ordinariness/Only then do I remember that those are what I love most”
Because the accompaniment was too loud, or perhaps the starting pitch was too low, the first two sentences were almost drowned out. The singer seemed to notice this as well, leaning forward closer to the microphone and deliberately singing a little louder.
Compared to what she'd overheard a few days earlier, their accompaniment had dramatically improved in unexpected harmony. Zhao Shihua belatedly realized they'd used the original accompaniment and then layered their own parts. No wonder there had been strings in the prelude. She'd been puzzled by the lack of a violinist on stage.
"And now—" The other three people on the stage joined in with harmony, making up for the off-tune part last time with the chorus, and then it was Shao Yifu's turn to sing solo:
"Give up the rules/indulge in love/let go of yourself/empty your future"
"I don't turn/I don't turn/I don't turn/I don't turn"
Whether it was the microphone's acoustics or the stage setting, Zhao Shihua suddenly felt that Shao Yifu was distant and hazy. The distance wasn't because of the thirty or forty meters of audience seats separating them, making him inaudible, but rather because they were in a different time and space, unable to be crossed or reached.
The last time I heard him, his back to me, not far away, he casually yelled a few words, more like a prank than a serious performance. But now, he stood on the stage, eyes closed, the light illuminating his features with even deeper undulations. While his high notes were still a little erratic, it didn't affect him at all, as he sang with unwavering devotion. Perhaps it was the height of the microphone, but his back seemed slightly hunched, yet his entire being exuded an indescribable aura.
It was like the faint twinkling of stars overhead, or like looking up from the bottom of the sea at the ripples on the surface. His voice grew louder, and the light grew stronger.
"I want it! I'm crazy! I want it! I love it! That's it!"
Even from such a distance, Zhao Shihua could sense his effort, his face wrinkled with strain. While most of the others stood still, he was the only one whose movements were particularly dramatic. If it weren't for the microphone's limitations, he would have wanted to run across the stage. In the latter half, he simply stopped playing the guitar. To the throbbing drumbeats, he raised his hands high, pounding the beat and shouting:
“I don’t turn/I don’t turn/I don’t turn/I don’t turn—”
Zhao Shihua's eardrums were buzzing and goose bumps appeared on his neck. Even Xu Jiamei, who was standing next to him, couldn't help but exclaim "Wow".
Just like the lyrics, he displayed a stubborn and enthusiastic state on stage. The last few words were not even sung, but roared, almost breaking his voice.
Although she didn't sing very well and even almost made a fool of herself, Zhao Shihua was so envious that her eyes turned red and she couldn't help but clench her fists.
Because that was a sound she couldn't make.
The light turned into the scorching sun of midsummer, burning me so hot that I couldn't even open my eyes. Sweat kept streaming down my forehead, and the scene in front of me seemed to melt; then it turned into an endless sea and clear sky, with waves slamming against my body violently and the wind whistling past my ears, so strong that it almost knocked me over.
It is the boundless space, the rushing light, and the free wind.
It is a scenery I have never seen before.
Shao Yifu's voice almost completely drowned out the other three members. To avoid being carried off-tune by him, they also sang with even greater force. The entire auditorium seemed to be on fire, and their blood began to boil. The vibrations spread along the floor, and the inspired mood ignited from their toes, like bubbles in a carbonated drink, rushing violently all the way to the top of their heads and gushing out. They couldn't hold it back at all - Zhao Shihua couldn't help but shout along with the others:
“I don’t turn/I don’t turn/I don’t turn/I don’t turn!”
——The courage and stubbornness to make his voice heard regardless of the consequences, the fiery soul determined to burn the wilderness regardless of the consequences. Even if heavy rain will fall in the future, now his eyes are only fire and light.
Zhao Shihua never knew that Shao Yifu's voice held such immense power. She also longed to be able to sing her own songs freely and uninhibitedly, without caring about what others thought.
The lingering sound of the strings lingered in his ears for a long time before fading. On the stage, Shao Yifu rubbed the tip of his nose with the knuckle of his index finger, as if he had just realized his wild behavior and felt shy after the song. As he bowed, he suddenly became as polite as a kindergarten child, adding with a sudden mental cramp: "Thank you everyone, bye!"
But it was a singing competition after all, and ultimately it was about singing ability, not who was crazier. The Shaw Yi-fu Band, whose high notes relied entirely on shouting, certainly didn't even make it to tenth place in the "Top Ten Campus Singers" competition, but they unexpectedly won the "Best Stage Presence Award."
Typhoon? Although she was surprised, it was quite appropriate. This extremely strong typhoon made her feel dizzy.
Zhao Shihua stared at the trophy in his hand. It was about half the height of his arm. On top was a not very delicate microphone model. On the glass cup below was printed vertically "Best Stage Presence Award of the 31st Young Singer Competition of Yangcheng Middle School".
After the competition, Zhao Shihua happened to see Shao Yifu and his team moving something backstage as they were leaving. It looked like a drum set. Someone across from them noticed the three of them and asked if they could help them carry the drums to the car at the main entrance to take them home.
Zhou Xin, clutching the largest bass drum, walked with his legs apart like a frog, barely able to see the road. The girl playing the piano carried an electronic keyboard, but because of her small stature, from behind she looked like a spirit, lurching forward. Shao Yifu and another boy slung their guitars over their backs, then hugged the stacked drums in front of them, while Li Xiuping carried the remaining drum kits. In the end, it seemed like calling them over was unnecessary: Xu Jiamei and Qiao Xiaoling each carried a few cymbals, while Zhao Shihua helped carry the drum stand, and then a small trophy was thrust into their hands.
"You must protect it carefully, this is a treasure!" When Shao Yifu reminded him, the shadow of his excitement was still clearly visible on his red ears.
"Which typhoon number are you facing?" Zhao Shihua suddenly came up with this cold joke when he was halfway there.
"What did you say?" Shao Yifu slowed down and walked side by side with her.
"What's the name of your band?"
"Er Ba Xing Ren," Shao Yifu pointed at himself, Zhou Xin, Li Xiuping, the bassist, and the female lead singer in turn. "That's 20% girls and 80% boys. I feel like bands with numbers in their names tend to be more popular. Lao Li is also our manager! How's it going? Interesting, isn't it?"
Zhao Shihua swallowed the word "inexplicable" and smiled perfunctorily. It was obvious that this name was impossible for him to debut. It might as well be called "Typhoon No. 10".
"You guys are superstitious when naming something?" Xu Jiamei laughed. "I thought it meant '28' in '28 years old'."
"What does 'twenty-eight years old' mean?" Shao Yifu was puzzled.
The girl walking in front heard the people behind them still leisurely discussing the name of the band, and turned around with difficulty: "Uncle, don't you have to practice Tai Chi today?" At first it sounded like a granddaughter asking her grandfather why he didn't go out to exercise.
"Ah?" Shao Yifu was startled, and the drumstick he was holding rolled down. Zhao Shihua quickly caught it and said, "You scared me. Today is Friday and we have to rehearse tomorrow." If his hands were not occupied, he would probably pat his chest to comfort himself and say, "Don't be afraid, don't be afraid."
They had probably been learning for a week or two. Zhao Shihua wanted to ask, "You haven't learned it yet?" to avoid digging himself into trouble, so he kept his mouth shut. However, he couldn't help but say in his heart that the command shouldn't be that difficult to memorize.
Perhaps he noticed the contemptuous look in her eyes, but Shao Yifu turned his head to look at her, narrowed his eyes slightly, and put on a meaningful smile.
"What? What do you mean?" she mouthed.
“…Twenty-four.”
Zhao Shihua was choked for a moment, realizing that he was indeed alluding to Tai Chi.
It's impossible to say that I'm not affected.
The lyrics to "I won't turn" were like a magical sound, playing over and over in her mind while she ate, showered, washed clothes, and walked. Even after a day, Zhao Shihua couldn't stop thinking about unplugging the power cord to force her mind to quiet down. So the next night, she didn't know if she'd taken the wrong medicine or was possessed by a demon, but she somehow ran to the playground alone.
Zhao Shihua had never been to the playground at night. Unlike university or public playgrounds, the middle school playground was usually deserted, as roll calls were required for evening study sessions. On weekends, when most people had gone home, the playground felt like a dark hole dug out in the bustling city center, a stark contrast.
The area where the school is located has gradually developed into a new commercial center over the past decade, and is now surrounded by tall buildings. Countless small grids of light shone through, giving her a warm, home-like glow. But she hadn't come here to "look up at the bright moon and think of home," especially since the moon was already obscured by the buildings. Zhao Shihua set her schoolbag on the edge of the track and stepped onto the lawn.
It had barely rained since December, but thanks to the climate, the lawn remained dry even in winter. She stamped her feet hard on the ground, the hardness softened by the dense grass stems. She walked a few steps further inside and looked back toward the first and second grade buildings. Around 7:30, the lights were all on, and every classroom was filled with students who had insisted on returning for evening study, even on weekends.
After confirming that there was no one around, Zhao Shihua slightly raised his right foot and rushed forward a few steps. When he raised his hands, his legs went weak and he suddenly stopped - he hadn't done a somersault for many years.
She slowly lowered her hand and looked down at her open palm. The playground wasn't floodlit, so she could only get a rough look in the dim yellow light from the streetlights outside the fence. Her hands weren't large, their palms fleshy and thick, while her fingers were rather short. If other people's fingers were like peeling scallions, hers were like carrots, stuck in dough. Her fists were round and, from a distance, resembled Doraemon's suction cup hand.
And do these hands still have enough strength to hold her up? Can she still trust them?
It could be done, of course. After all, even with her eyes closed, she could still clearly remember the colorful scene of the world turning upside down in an instant when she was a child doing somersaults.
He took a deep breath and rushed forward again. This time he finally didn't brake. He pushed hard with his back foot and pushed his whole body forward. At the same time, he tightened his waist and abdomen. Then his palms touched the grass. The grass leaves gave him a sharp touch, and perhaps he also touched a few small stones embedded in the ground.
She originally thought that since she hadn't practiced for so many years, her arms might not be strong enough to make it through. However, when she transferred the weight of her body to her hands, out of the instinct to protect herself, every muscle burst out with strength in an instant, although she staggered when she landed and her hands were a little shaking when she stood up.
Because the school uniform was not tied properly, the cool night wind brushed against Zhao Shihua's skin, and he shivered, not because of the cold, but because of excitement.
It turns out that you can still trust yourself. Your hands give you support, and your strength gives you confidence. Even if you have no one to rely on, you can still support yourself with the strength in your hands.
The world turned upside down again and again, as she flipped forward one after another, starting with two-handed, then sideways, then one-handed. Meanwhile, memories and feelings from the past returned to her, bit by bit, as if rewinding a tape: as a child, relying on her strength to slap a boy who bullied a girl; seeing a pickpocket on the bus, she was so brave she shouted, "Auntie! Thief!"; during a physical exam, to demonstrate her courage, she was the first in line to get her finger pricked for a blood draw; despite having a slight fear of heights, she stubbornly queued up for the bungee jumping machine...
She was such a brave child, and it was martial arts that taught her to believe in her own strength, but she once put the ability to decide for herself in the hands of others.
It seemed like no amount of effort was enough to gain acceptance. When she learned to get along like an adult, smoothing out her rough edges and blending into the crowd, she found it was all in vain. Not only did she feel wronged in the process, she also lost her true self: eating food that others liked but she didn't, yet saying "delicious"; going to places that others liked but she didn't, yet saying "happy"...
However, Shao Yifu, who sang "I won't turn", grew up regardless of anything, leaving aside the thorns along the way, bravely waiting for and even actively looking for that like-minded person - no matter how weird the weirdo is, the world is so big, as long as you stride forward, the weirdo will eventually find a weirdo friend.
So she couldn't wait any longer.
I can no longer wait for a so-called magician to save me. There are no magicians in the world, but there are also no witches who would fly across thousands of miles to cast a curse. Only I can save myself, because I am the only one cursing myself.
The world was spinning, and Zhao Shihua could clearly feel that something was different.
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