New Life and Masks (3)
The Guan Yifu Zhao Shihua mentioned in a slip of the tongue was actually only in her class for two years, in early elementary school. In most cases, such classmates are slowly erased by time, their names and figures vanishing, ultimately becoming nothing more than a question: "Hey, is this person in our class?"
Yet, Zhao Shihua still had an impression of him after seven years because Guan Yifu was a man she saw as both pitiable and hateful, a fact that left Zhao Shihua, who always had a clear distinction between love and hate, at a loss for words. Like an object left out of her memory drawer, it would occasionally flicker before her eyes, reminding her of a gray existence that was neither black nor white.
As a six or seven-year-old, she didn't yet understand the complexity and multifaceted nature of human beings. Television dramas, she observed, were simplistically divided into "good guys" and "bad guys." While the world of children has its innocent and endearing aspects, it also has a primitive, even barbaric, side. Around the second half of elementary school, everyone naturally assigned roles, like monkeys living in a group: some were popular for their looks, others for their strength. Of course, since they were still students, good grades were also favored.
Zhao Shihua was as thin as a bean sprout at that time. At first, he was looked down upon by others because of his short stature and pale complexion. However, he accidentally signed up for an extracurricular martial arts class. From then on, he pretended to be an expert in kung fu all day long. He also intimidated two or three little followers behind him and acted as a flower protector to accompany the class monitor and class beauty Wang Zitong to the toilet every day.
Guan Yifu, on the other hand, was the opposite. He was overweight, but his appearance was superficial, and he'd get out of breath even when running. While he looked like a clumsy brown bear, he was actually a timid rabbit, prone to tears. As a result, he was often teased by others for acting like a little girl, and over time, he became a favorite target of teasing among his classmates.
At first, the boys merely mocked him verbally, calling him a coward and a snivel, because when he started crying, his tears would flow like a broken faucet, a particularly exaggerated display. Guan Yifu ran to the teacher to complain, and the teacher verbally warned the boys involved. However, perhaps because the soon-to-retire homeroom teacher was too kind, some of the boys took it completely for granted and, instead, intensified their bullying.
While the elementary school students' pranks weren't serious enough to warrant calling the police, in retrospect, they were laced with malicious intent. Because of his weight, every time Guan Yifu sat down after being called to stand in class, he would sigh in relief, exhausted as if he'd just unloaded a ton of cargo. Consequently, those mischievous children took advantage of him by placing various objects on his chair when he wasn't paying attention, then later, playing the victim and blaming him for breaking their belongings.
At first, it was pencils, erasers, rulers and the like that would make Guan Yifu jump up suddenly. And because his movements were too large, he would often push over the tables and chairs in front and behind him, making a loud bang, which would cause complaints and laughter. However, the teacher thought he was deliberately causing trouble and criticized him for not observing discipline.
Then, it gradually evolved from stationery to food. One time, they put a soft pineapple bun on it, but Guan Yifu pressed it down, and it suddenly became a solid pineapple cake. The whole class laughed at this for a long time, so much so that the phrase "Do you want a pineapple cake? I'll let Guan Yifu give you one!" almost became a code word understood by everyone in the class.
Even though Guan Yifu became wary and would always look back, he was still no match for the quick eyes and hands of a group of skinny boys. The most exaggerated incident was during recess when they put a plastic bag of chocolate milk on the table. Guan Yifu crushed the bag with one blow, and the brown liquid overflowed from the edge of the chair and dripped down the hem of his school uniform onto the ground.
Someone immediately started a commotion, saying Guan Yifu had diarrhea and had pooped in his pants. Everyone erupted in laughter, pretending to cover their noses. Guan Yifu remained silent, as if struck by a needle. The students around him gradually realized the situation was getting bad, but no one dared to step forward to help, let alone apologize.
It wasn't until the bell rang and the teacher entered the classroom that he suddenly burst into tears, crying until his eyes were swollen like walnuts, but he still refused to stop. But no matter how the teacher tried to persuade him, he refused to get up from his seat, let alone change his soaking wet pants. Finally, with no other choice, they called his parents, and the situation finally came to an end.
Zhao Shihua still remembers this incident because it was her turn on duty that day, and the homeroom teacher assigned her to clean the floor near Guan Yifu's seat. It was clearly someone else's mistake, but she was made to clean up the mess, making it seem like she was at fault. Despite her dissatisfaction, Zhao Shihua silently mopped up the milk on the floor.
Guan Yifu was still waiting for his family to pick him up, sobbing uncontrollably on the table, his shoulders heaving. He felt like the center of a typhoon, his air pressure dreadfully low. She didn't dare ask him to lift his feet, let alone move his chair, lest his recently weakened tears be rekindled. So she carefully walked around the room.
As for the boys, they were severely reprimanded by their homeroom teacher and even had to read out their self-criticisms in front of the entire class. They did indeed calm down considerably afterward, no longer provoking Guan Yifu. Some even went to the other extreme, ignoring him and refusing to play with him. For example, they deliberately didn't collect his homework when it was due and even didn't throw the ball to him during PE class.
But for a child who has just left the arms of his parents and entered the circle of his peers, being ignored may be just as terrifying as being bullied. On one side is the torment of fire, and on the other side is ice and snow. Neither world is normal.
But that was something Zhao Shihua only realized later.
At first, Zhao Shihua and Guan Yifu had no deep hatred. Their seats were far apart, one in the front, the other in the back, and they never crossed paths. Plus, the boys and girls in the class kept to themselves, their desks separated by a wall, so she wouldn't take the initiative to talk to him.
Although she sometimes felt that the boys' pranks were indeed too much, she only felt sorry for him in her heart, sometimes even thinking that he deserved to be excluded and bullied because he was timid. Don't heroes always make their own way in the world? Therefore, she always watched from the sidelines, never offering a helping hand. After all, her mission was to protect the princess and prince of the Kingdom of Women, not to go to the enemy country and join in the fun.
Until one day in art class, a small accident broke the irrelevant pattern between them.
Zhao Shihua had long forgotten who taught that art class and what was taught. He only remembered that when the class was about to end, everyone held their pen-washing cups and slowly walked to the sink in the corridor to empty them.
Zhao Shihua, a martial arts practitioner, should have been steady and composed, but she was far from mastering the art. She knew the mantra "Stand like a pine tree, sit like a bell, walk like the wind" by heart. Even clutching a dirty cup of water that threatened to spill at any moment, she still imagined herself so skilled in martial arts that she could scale walls and whiz through the crowd like the wind. Of course, the water spilled, but not all over the floor, but all over herself—and Guan Yifu, who was walking in front, was the victim.
In fact, similar accidents happen from time to time among children, such as knocking over a bowl while eating, sauce splashing on clothes, etc. As they grow older, their tender and clumsy hands will naturally become flexible and strong. This is what the teacher thinks, and so do the parents, but Guan Yifu doesn't think so.
Perhaps it was the saying "once bitten, one becomes afraid of ropes for ten years". Ever since the chocolate milk incident, he had become extremely sensitive, like a cat that would shrug at the slightest touch. He insisted that Zhao Shihua had deliberately splashed water on him, and then he used the same method of crying loudly as last time, making a big deal out of the matter to attract attention and gain sympathy.
Zhao Shihua was so frightened that she immediately offered to help him wash his clothes. Of course, the more accurate subject should be her mother. However, Guan Yifu squatted there, like a tightly closed clam shell, completely refusing to communicate with the outside world, even ignoring the tissues that others kindly handed him, and let his clothes drip with water.
It was no use saying "I'm sorry" or "You hit me." When the art teacher arrived, Guan Yifu pointed at her and sobbed, "Teacher, she, she bullied me..."
Finding that the other party not only refused to accept his sincere apology, but also falsely accused him of such a mean act of throwing dirty water, Zhao Shihua, who was a hero at heart, was naturally not convinced and insisted on fighting him to the end:
"I was careless."
"You are not..."
"I already told you I didn't mean it!"
"Woo woo woo, you did it on purpose..."
This conversation went on for more than a hundred times, leaving Zhao Shihua so angry she stamped her feet and nearly threw a punch. So, what could have been a minor incident resolved with a few words from the teacher ended up not only reaching the homeroom teacher but also alerting both parents, who came to take the child home.
In elementary school, calling parents to school was a serious matter. If a student misbehaved, teachers could usually calm most disobedient children with a simple "I'll tell your parents." Even though Zhao Shihua had learned a few fancy moves and thought herself incredibly skilled, this sentence still weighed her down like a Five Finger Mountain, instantly extinguishing even her "a gentleman can be killed but not humiliated" arrogance.
What happened next at the office only exacerbated her frustration. Perhaps hoping to quickly resolve the dispute so she could get back to work, Zhao Shihua's mother arrived at the office, not even asking for the full story. She angrily demanded her daughter admit her mistake. Zhao Shihua, however, was a stubborn person who refused to yield. The more the adults pushed her to yield, the more she held her head high.
Guan Yifu's mother arrived later, and continued to berate her. Zhao's mother exclaimed, "Huh?" when she saw Guan's mother. She then asked, "It's the doctor from the Chinese medicine hospital that my grandmother often visits." She felt guilty for some reason, and without waiting for the head teacher to explain the situation, she pressed the back of Zhao Shihua's head down and bowed in apology.
Zhao Shihua was all too familiar with this way of dealing with things, and she also deeply disliked this adult attitude. When they occasionally encountered unreasonable customers at the fast food restaurant, her parents would, adhering to the principle of "less trouble is better than more trouble," tolerate and give in whenever possible, even if it wasn't their fault. It was as if the fast food restaurant owner was inherently inferior to the doctor, that the doctor's son was always right, and the chef's daughter was always wrong.
Although Guan Yifu's mother wasn't the bitter, venomous queen Zhao Shihua had imagined, and even rebuked her son for his excessive fussing and frequent use of tears to intimidate others, her mother's tolerance seemed like hypocritical charity to Zhao Shihua at the time, and it did nothing to dispel the anger and resentment she felt within her. She clenched her fists, determined not to shed tears in front of her enemies, because crying would be tantamount to admitting defeat.
The enemy Guan Yifu hid behind the adults, holding his dirty clothes in one hand and grabbing the corner of his mother's clothes with the other hand, staring at her blankly. He had obviously stopped crying, but was still pretending to sniff.
Zhao Shihua refused to say a word until she left the office, following her parents downstairs from a distance. When she saw her mother pushing the bicycle towards her, she stood at a distance, showing no sign of getting on. Zhao's mother, anxious to get back to the store, called out impatiently, "Are you going home or not?"
Seeing her daughter didn't answer, she changed her polite tone of inquiry into a grenade-level threat: "Why are you so disobedient, child? If you don't behave, I will send you back to your grandmother's house!"
Adults know what children fear most, so they always hit the mark. Zhao Shihua finally gave in, unable to contain her tears any longer, and sobbed loudly as she climbed onto the back of her bicycle. On her way home, passersby looked at her with a frown. Her mother scolded her again, saying, "If you cry again, I'll call your grandfather and have him pick you up!" Only then did she quiet down.
But the tears kept flowing. Everything was different from what the textbooks taught: Why would a classmate who had done nothing wrong bite me? Why was saying sorry useless after I did something wrong? Why didn't my mother help me but helped others? Zhao Shihua, naive, was overwhelmed by the sudden barrage of questions, unable to let go even after taking a deep breath.
The memory of that brilliant sunset, blurred by tears into countless specks of light, remains vivid even after I've grown up. Ironically, even though I was so sad then, feeling as if I'd fallen into a despairing valley, the scenery in my memory remained completely unmoved, its beauty alone breathtaking.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
