Chapter 141 One day I will let go, just like she did back then
Tang Zhixu didn't say much, as he knew her preferences very well. They went straight to a Thai restaurant that she usually liked.
Before the food was served, he handed the envelope to Qin Tian.
"Give it to me later." Qin Tian did not take it.
Tang Zhixu paused: "What do you mean?"
"Give it to me after you finish eating."
Tang Zhixu asked doubtfully, "What's the difference? The food hasn't been served yet, don't you want to know?"
Qin Tian lowered his eyes and said nothing. The difference was whether she was qualified to accept the materials. Once she gave her answer, she and Tang Zhixu would no longer be friends. She didn't want to accept such a valuable gift just before their friendship was about to fall apart.
Tang Zhixu looked at her expression and guessed what she meant. He put his fingers into his hair and smiled. He said quietly, "I only realized today that in your heart, I am such a rude person."
"That's not what I meant." She finally looked up at him, "I'm not qualified."
His heart sank endlessly. Even though he had thought about the way she would reject him, this sentence still caught him off guard. He had opened all his rights to her, and she stood far outside the door, saying that she had no right.
She looked at him silently. She didn't want to do this either, she should at least finish the meal. But she had already said it, in the worst possible way.
"sorry."
His eyes left her, lost in the bustle of the restaurant. Waiters came and went, customers came and went. He heard himself ask her.
"Because of Tong Zhongyuan?"
She was silent for a moment.
"No. It's the same with or without him."
The waiter brought a plate of green beef curry. A wisp of steam rose between them like a mist.
He didn't know why he asked such a question. If she said yes, he would deeply regret why he didn't take action before Tong Zhongyuan showed up. If she said no, all he had was frustration. Even if there were no competitors, he still wouldn't be her choice.
It was meaningless. But the question that had been lingering in his mind for so many years, even though it had been so long, he still couldn't let it go.
"Qin Tian," his voice drifted through the mist, "Have you ever liked me?"
After a long wait, she said, "Yes."
His eyes were red.
"how long?"
She didn't answer. The mist had dissipated, the dish had grown cold, and his face was clear and familiar. Handsome, straightforward, and unruly, just as it had been eight years ago.
"Tang Zhi..."
"How long?" he interrupted, repeating.
"That's a meaningless question." She turned away.
“It makes sense to me.”
Qin Tian didn't want to continue this topic, so she stood up, pushed the chair away and walked out. She wanted to go home directly, but she couldn't do that. She didn't know what else she could do.
She walked out of the mall. In front of a row of floor-to-ceiling windows, she locked eyes with him through the glass. His figure gradually grew larger, stopping behind her.
"Let's go. I'll take you back. Your luggage is still in my car."
He didn't ask her that question again, didn't ask any questions.
He drove to the complex, unloaded his luggage, and walked into the hallway as usual. She took out her key and opened the door, as usual. Her door was always open to him.
Tang Zhixu stood at the door, took out the envelope from his pocket and handed it to her again.
"Take it, don't turn me into a worthless person."
The elevator's hinges slowly turned over their bearings, making a dull, mechanical sound. It felt like a dull ache. She clutched the strap of her bag tightly and reached out to take the envelope.
"Would you like to come in and sit down?"
"No."
He put down his luggage and pressed the button to go home.
The elevator creaked, panted, and stopped, pausing before opening the door. Tang Zhixu walked in with his back to her, pressing the close button. The elevator door closed, and his figure narrowed until it reached the partition.
Qin Tian still stood there silently. Three thousand days and nights, every memory contained him. His smile in the scorching summer heat, his companionship in the cold winter nights. In the brightly lit city, on the muddy country roads, he was there with me every step of the way.
The elevator door made a dull sound and then opened again. Tang Zhixu blocked the door with his hand.
"I take that back. We are no longer friends."
The sensor light in the corridor flickered as if it was broken, and she covered her eyes with her hands.
He turned his head away from her, his throat choked. After a moment, he finally spoke.
"I just need time, give me time."
His hand loosened from the door. A moment before the door closed, she lowered her hand from covering her eyes and nodded vaguely but forcefully.
Her figure disappeared outside the elevator door. He covered his face and leaned against the wall. It will be fine.
Qin Tian carried his luggage into the room and sat on the sofa, his strength drained from him. She held the envelope in her hand, her phone vibrating several times. But she didn't want to read anything. She sat there for a long moment, then went to the bathroom to wash her face. In the mirror, her eyes were pink and still red.
In the living room, her phone vibrated again. Tong Zhongyuan had sent her a video call request. It occurred to her that she hadn't contacted him since arriving in Shanghai that night. He must have gotten anxious after she didn't reply. She switched to voice chat and answered.
Tong Zhongyuan was startled when he saw his video request was switched to a voice call, then smiled. Was this karma? It was his turn to be switched to voice.
"I just got home, don't worry." Her voice sounded a little stuffy.
"What's wrong with the voice? Did you catch a cold?"
She subconsciously covered the receiver. He was truly perceptive. She had nothing to feel guilty about regarding Tang Zhixu, but she would never let Tong Zhongyuan know. This was a secret between her and Tang Zhixu, a secret of dignity and youth.
"It's a bit of wind, so I'll take a shower."
"Then go wash up quickly. We'll talk after you're done."
"You should go to bed early. I finished washing up late."
"I'll wait for you." Tong Zhongyuan responded softly.
"No. I'm tired. I'll go to bed after I shower."
He was silent for a while, then said gently, "Go take a shower first. Go to bed early. Good night."
After hanging up the phone, she collapsed on the sofa. The envelope reminded her that while she and Tong Zhongyuan were spending time together, Tang Zhixu was searching for the truth for her. She knew she had no love for him, but she also needed time to process the guilt she felt for hurting him.
Qin Tian put aside all distractions and opened the envelope.
The first page contains Zhuang Xiangyan's basic information. He was born in Xiding, Henan Province in 1939 and began working in 1958. In 1976, he became deputy secretary of the Xiding Municipal Party Committee. He was transferred to Shanghai in 1989, retired there in 1997, and passed away in 2003.
The second page contained brief information about his family. He had a son and a daughter. His eldest daughter, Zhuang Luying, married in 1987 and stayed in Henan. His youngest son, after moving to Shanghai with his parents, started working in 1992 and resigned in 2003 to move to Japan with his family.
His name is Zhuang Beiyao. He was an expert in the appraisal group of the Shanghai Asia Museum and a colleague of Qin Yunjie.
"Good morning, Uncle Zhuang!"
Zhuang Beiyao turned around and said with a smile, "Yi Zhang is here. Is it summer vacation?"
"Um."
Zhuang Beiyao opened the drawer, took out a box of wedding candy and handed it to her.
"Eat some candy."
Qin Yizhang took the wedding candy. This box of wedding candy was very rare. It was not the kind with eight candies, but had several chocolates in it.
"Uncle, are you married?"
"Hahahahaha!" Zhuang Beiyao laughed, "I got married a long time ago. This was a relative's wedding last week, and I saved it specially for Yi Zhang."
"Thank you, Uncle Zhuang!"
Of all her father's colleagues, she liked Uncle Zhuang the most. Uncle Zhuang's drawer was like a magic box, always able to take out candies, cookies, and beautiful stationery items.
"Beiyao, can you come over and take a look? The information sent from Hong Kong just arrived..."
Qin Yunjie and Zhuang Beiyao stood by the window, looking at archive photos in the sunlight. The bells of the Customs Building echoed in the distance, and the wind from the Huangpu River blew through the black, carved, curved window frames. They talked and discussed, and the sunlight cast their youthful silhouettes on the freshly waxed parquet floor.
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