Chapter 165 We, in a moment of chance, lead to eternity
She withdrew her gaze from the small window, tied up her hair, which had become greasy from sweat, washed her face with clean water, put on her down jacket, and went out. She and Tang Zhixu had made an appointment for six o'clock in the evening. In the past, when they had dinner together, he always drove to pick her up and took her there together. This time, she asked to meet at the hotel, and he had no objection.
This was a Teochew restaurant they both loved. The place looked shabby, but the food was incredible. Tang Zhixu had first discovered this small, run-down place and had excitedly brought her here to feast. Later, it became their dining hall, and the owner even knew them.
Tang Zhixu had already arrived, and the food was served as soon as she sat down. Qin Tian was indeed hungry after a day of work, so the two of them ate silently as usual. Only after they were no longer hungry did they start chatting.
"What are you going to give me?"
"It's in the trunk. It's a bit heavy. I'll take it back to you later. Is there a press conference for the Transformation of Heavenly Eyes next week?"
"Well, tentatively next Wednesday."
"I heard that they want you to host it?"
"It's not really a hosting job, there's a speech process, right? Don't even mention it, it makes me bald. With so many leaders here, what speech am I supposed to make?"
"What's so difficult about this? It's like winning an Oscar. Just go up and give a rave of praise, first praise your boss, then your colleagues, and finally mention those two pots of flowers at home. They gave you the inspiration to find your true self. This is called giving you a chance to show off, something others would love to have."
Qin Tian wanted to laugh, but she had been feeling so down lately, forcing herself to smile every time she drank, and now she simply couldn't. Her smile melted before it even reached her lips.
Tang Zhixu raised his hand to pour her a cup of tea, drank the tea in his cup, and asked slowly: "Did Tong Zhongyuan tell you about Wang Qiqing?"
Hearing the name, Qin Tian looked over.
"What happened between him and Wang Qiqing?"
Tang Zhixu caught her gaze. Just a name, yet the emotions flowing through those familiar eyes were like a rushing river.
"Don't ask me, ask him yourself later."
He nonchalantly took the remaining fried dragonfish and mixed it with the rice, then started eating without even looking up.
After dinner, Tang Zhixu drove to her house. He skillfully parked at a corner that was not blocking the road and took out a large bag from the trunk.
"I'll do it myself." Qin Tian reached out to take it.
Tang Zhixu ignored her and walked into the corridor with the bag in hand: "It's just a few steps, it will be quick."
"What is it?" Qin Tian couldn't help but ask again in the elevator.
"money."
Qin Tian shut up. It didn't matter if he took a few minutes to reveal the answer.
The two of them walked to the front door, and she took the key out of her bag and opened the door: "Want to come in for a drink?"
Through the half-open door, the furnishings inside the house remained the same. It had only been a month, and nothing had changed. Only an invisible line had been drawn across the threshold, making it no longer possible to cross it at any time.
He stood outside the door, lifted the bag high, and as if crossing an invisible obstacle, gently placed it on the floor at the door.
"I'm not coming in. I'm going back. I'll give you time to count the money."
Tang Zhixu turned and walked away, pressing the elevator button casually until he entered the elevator without looking back once.
Qin Tian returned to the room and turned on the light. The heavy bag lay on the ground, its wrinkles revealing the outlines of long strips.
She bent down and opened the bag. A dozen brocade boxes fell out. She sat down on the ground, her elbows on her knees, covering her face. He really had given her money.
The brocade boxes were opened one by one. She in spring, she in the evening, she in the rain, she smiling, she in the fields, she looking at him...
"Tang Zhixu! Wake up."
"I've been awake the whole time."
"You dropped your pen."
He picked up the pen and added the final touch of lip color.
"Not much like me."
"Don't you think so?"
"More beautiful than me."
"Really? That's what I can tell you look like."
…
She walked slowly among a dozen or so of herself, strolling in the passing time and looking into the eyes of her past self.
The doorbell rang, like a string of wind chimes waking her from her memories, and she opened the door.
Tong Zhongyuan raised his eyes, and his deep gaze fell from her face to behind her.
He took off his shoes and walked in. His eyes lingered briefly on each painting before returning to her face.
"Have you eaten well? You seem to have lost a little weight."
His voice was like a calm river, with the turbulent waves well hidden.
Tang Zhixu is very outstanding, and Qin Tian will be very happy with him.
He was very clear about this the day he accepted the painting from Tang Zhixu. Compared to him, being with a good man who could make her laugh was a perfect life that would make people envy and jealous.
If he could go back to the day before going to Niya, would he still follow her to Niya without hesitation?
He would. Without hesitation, without wavering.
Rather than letting her live an enviable, perfect life with another man, he chose to bring her to his side. What Tang Zhixu could give her, he could give her too. Even if their future life might not be so perfect for Qin Tian, or even make her tired, so what? They would still be happy.
He hadn't been able to sleep this week, her words echoing over and over in his mind.
"I'm afraid of ruining your bright future. I'm afraid you'll regret your choice one day."
"I want you to go back to England. Without me, you can find out what kind of future you really want."
At that moment, the chill and shock left him speechless. His last bit of rationality told him that a heated argument in this situation would only escalate into another argument. He didn't want to use it to further upset and disappoint her.
He heard what she said, thought about it, and finally had an answer. He came to tell her his answer.
"Would you like something to drink?" she asked, breaking the silence.
He's thinner, more haggard. Don't stay up so late, don't waste your time on someone who's not worth it. But all he said was, "What do you want to drink?" That was all he could say.
"I'm here to tell you my answer."
"Is it about the treasure exhibition? Have you thought about it?"
"No. I want to tell you what my future looks like."
On a silent winter night, under the gaze of a dozen of them, he tore off the last layer of protection and offered himself.
"In the future, I'll be famous and rich, get married after I turn 40, and have a cat. I'll live in London in the spring and summer, and I'll love the south of France in the winter. This was the future I wanted before I met you.
The future is like a rushing river, rising and falling, but never changing direction. This was my understanding of the future.
But I was wrong. Love is a disruptive event in the river of life. The time I spent with you changed the course of the river. It changed my future. Love isn't about finding someone similar to you, but about coexisting with differences. Arguments and disagreements are windows into the real world.
Qin Tian, my future is a sensible adventure. I want to accompany you through the ages, I'm willing to accompany you through ancient tombs and deserts. I want to be the scenery on your life's path, bringing you sunshine and wind and rain. I want to be your stumbling block, so that you will stop for me, and then we can set off together. You have made me understand that the future I want is not a smooth road; what I can give you is not peaceful happiness.
Whether the road ahead is a starry sky or a bumpy life, I will walk this road with you. This is my promise to you, this is the future I want. Promise me, Qin Tian.
Time stopped, stopped at this moment. Before the separation, it stopped in the eternity he spoke of. They were carried by fate, from opposite ends of the world, until they met at this moment. His vows melted into the night, echoing in the place where she lived day and night. From then on, every minute and every second she spent here would be a repetition of his vows. She had no regrets about this ending; she felt fulfilled. And the best ending she could give him was release, returning to him the free life that had always belonged to him. She pulled down her hairband, and her long hair fell, covering her face.
Countless "her"s surrounded her, from eight years ago to today. It turned out that hiding it wasn't so good after all. She had forgotten the "her" from eight years ago, the lingering, hazy love, but it was frozen on the paper. She stared at the painting, her voice fading.
“This is me for the past eight years.”
Tong Zhongyuan's eyes followed her and stopped at the painting. He stood straight and remained silent for a long time.
She knew she didn't need to say anything more. He understood the implication and the hidden meaning behind her words.
"That's in the past." His expression remained calm, his voice sincere. "We're discussing the future now. I know you have many concerns. I've considered and overcome every obstacle you've considered. I won't start until I've thought it through. My downfall is that I overthink and act too quickly, leaving you no time to recover. From now on, I'll wait for you. You can take your time. I'll always be here, waiting for you anytime, anywhere."
The night wind blew open the unclosed window, twirling her hair. The rice paper danced in the wind, blocking out his determined gaze. She stood there in a daze, unable to speak.
In all her countless guesses, in all the fragments of their acquaintances and encounters, no answer had ever been as clear as it was now. He loved her, much more than she had ever imagined.
"I thought it was over..." Her glass-like eyes were filled with broken tears. She stared at him without blinking, "But I was wrong. I'm sorry, I was wrong. I shouldn't have... done this to you. I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."
The blood drained from his fingertips, and he stroked his hair with his cold fingers, looking up to find her. A dozen or so of hers made his sight lose focus. He felt as if he were in a dream, or acting out an absurd comedy.
He lifted his legs, but they wouldn't budge. Was it his body that didn't want to leave? Or was it his soul that didn't want to leave either? No, no, it was his mind that told him he couldn't leave like this. Yes, reason. He couldn't just leave like this, trapped in a vicious cycle of self-justification.
"Who do you like?" His voice was hoarse.
Her tears began to flow. From her large eyes that continued to stare at him, crystal luster of sadness continued to fall.
"I thought it was you..."
Her vision was blurry, unable to make out his face, yet she stared at his outline intently. Tears streamed down her face, bitter enough to make her heart tighten and ache. After a long moment, she uttered a few words intermittently through her tears.
"But I was wrong."
His silent gaze slowly shifted from her face. He looked around at the paintings, unfocused. Her over the past eight years. Her forehead, her eyebrows, her smile, the time they had shared.
He turned and opened the door, and the cold wind blew away the warmth in the room.
The door slowly closed and his figure disappeared into the darkness.
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