Chapter 53: Heart palpitations surge like a tide
Tong Zhongyuan knew that she had something to say when she sent him out, but she only asked one question and then said nothing more. Why didn't she say anything when she recognized him, why didn't he say anything when he recognized her, why did he go to her house to get clothes, why did he come to the hospital, why didn't he mention Zhang Fengqi, and how was the Buddha statue now. She didn't ask any of the questions he could think of. In the past few days, he had been assuming in his mind that she would no longer contact him or pay attention to him. Every time he thought about it, he didn't find it unacceptable. Until this moment, he really felt it, that she was really disappointed and had nothing to say to him. His hand subconsciously pressed on his chest. This was a habit he had developed recently, which made the palpitations feel better.
She saw that his brows were furrowed, and his right hand was pressed against his chest. Her heart suddenly tightened. She took a step forward and asked anxiously, "What's wrong with you? Are you feeling unwell?"
He was startled, then looked up at her. When her eyes met his, she stopped and took a small step back. She looked away and said, "This is the hospital. If you're feeling unwell, you should go see a doctor. It's almost time for a follow-up visit."
"Will you stay with me?" he asked softly.
As soon as the words fell, they were both stunned. Qin Tian hadn't expected that he would make such a request given their current bad relationship. He hadn't expected that he would still try to redeem her former tenderness when she despised him so much.
"You go by yourself. I'm going back to be with my dad." She said lightly.
He gave an expected answer and smiled silently: "Go ahead. I wish Uncle Qin a speedy recovery."
He turned and walked towards the hospital entrance. The setting sun's rays fell on his shoulders, casting a thin, long shadow.
She stayed where she was, her steps struggling. She couldn't predict her next move: would she catch up with him and take him to the hospital, or turn back to the ward, avoiding his lonely figure. Only after he left the hospital and disappeared did the spell on her lift. She crouched on the ground, her hands covering her face as the setting sun withdrew its last rays.
Qin Tian returned to the ward, and the hospital meal had already been delivered. Qin Yunjie didn't eat much, so he gave her half, enough for the two of them to share. Qin Yunjie was obviously in high spirits, and from time to time he asked about the reasons and consequences of Tong Zhongyuan's return. She didn't want to spoil his fun, so she had to pick and choose a few words.
He sighed, "Given time, his achievements will surely surpass He Wu. What a pity..."
She naturally knew what he regretted, and it was a pity that it could not be used by the Shanghai Museum.
After dinner, he told her to go home. She pointed to her change of clothes and said she had everything with her. She would only stay with him for one night and would go back to work normally tomorrow.
She opened the bag and placed Han Wenying's photo on his bedside table. Her face flushed as she pulled out her housecoat and pants. The next compartment to these items was her underwear. She couldn't help but imagine Tong Zhongyuan taking clothes from her closet. Instead, she stuffed the clothes back in and went to the bathroom to rinse her face.
After washing up, she turned off the lights and slept on the borrowed recliner. Just a month ago, she'd done the same thing in the hospital. She'd even changed his clothes, but he didn't seem to mind at all. This, perhaps, is the difference between men and women.
Qin Yunjie changed his place and couldn't fall asleep all of a sudden. She heard him turn over and asked him if he wanted to drink water or go to the toilet.
He said: "If one day I don't remember you, you don't have to worry about me anymore. There are caregivers in the nursing home."
Qin Tian wrapped himself in a blanket and turned over: "Is this interesting? Regardless of whether you are possible?"
"That's not what I meant."
"What?"
"Forgetting you is not my intention," he said. "Yi Zhang, if I could rank them, I hope the last person I remember is you, not Wen Ying."
There were no monitors in the ward, only the sound of her breathing rising and falling.
Qin Yunjie's voice echoed slowly and faintly in the darkness.
"I've done a lot of wrong things in my life. But I don't owe Wenying anything. I owe you, Yi Zhang. It's too late now. I don't have time to make it up to you. I just hope I won't cause you any trouble in the rest of my life. You've always been yourself, and you should continue to be yourself in the future. Don't be tied down by me. It's not worth it."
Qin Tian pulled the blanket over her head, covering her face. She opened her eyes, feeling the furry fibers gradually wet with tears. This blanket was filled with her scent, the scent of one person. Whenever she was afraid and lonely, it was always herself who could embrace her.
After a long time, she said, "If you don't want to cause me any trouble, just get treatment."
Qin Yunjie didn't answer, he probably fell asleep.
The ones who wake up earlier than office workers are primary and secondary school students and patients. The ward was already busy in the early morning, and Qin Tian put away the recliner at 6 o'clock. The nurse made her rounds and told her about the series of tests Qin Yunjie would have to undergo today, as well as the medication for the first course of treatment. After she understood the situation, she accompanied Qin Yunjie to have breakfast, and it was only 7 o'clock. However, Qin Yunjie was in a very bad state that day, and he was a little confused. The nurse was very calm, saying that the disease was like this, and that he came here to treat it. Qin Tian felt a little relieved, and it was impossible for him to accompany him all the time, as he still had to go to work.
Qin Tian took the subway home first, washed her hair, showered, and changed her clothes. Before leaving, she sent a message to Tang Zhixu, asking if he would come into the museum today. She was too excited about Qin Yunjie joining the experimental group at first and didn't think deeply about it. When she calmed down and asked Huang Qian, she said she hadn't had time to ask for help. A few years ago, she would probably think that her good luck had just exploded, but now she knew that no matter how good she was, the experimental group wouldn't just have an extra spot, and it wouldn't have happened to find her.
Tang Zhixu didn't reply, he was sleeping. He painted until the early morning these days, but he couldn't calm down, and all he painted was shit. When he came back from Qin Tian's house last Saturday, he tried to paint a work, and painted five in a row, with her words all in his mind. She said that his flowering period was short, and he should hurry up to bloom, she didn't like this or that part of him, and he also had Alzheimer's disease, his brain was like a train station, and his brushstrokes were like Parkinson's. In the end, he gave up and threw away his brush. He picked out a painting from his old works. This one was created three years ago. He still remembered that he broke up with his girlfriend during that time, and was completely rejected by Qin Tian. He went home to write and paint after work every day, and he stayed indoors on weekends. One day when the leaves were falling, he suddenly had an epiphany, and decided to leave everything to time. On that day, he painted this picture of quiet autumn and pressed the seal she gave him - everything comes from the heart.
After giving this one away, there aren't many left to show for it. Everyone treats him like the magic brush of Ma Liang, believing he has an infinite resource; why not just paint another one? They don't understand that behind every successful work lies a divinely blessed moment, a state of mind and presence that can never be replicated. Every time I give away a painting I'm satisfied with, I'm bidding farewell to myself at that moment: happy, sad, at one with nature.
He looked at it for a while, rolled up the painting and put it in a box.
The next day, he brought his painting to visit Mr. Deng. He had met Mr. Deng at an auction two years prior, and he had offered to give him a painting and ask for his advice. At the time, his father had just been diagnosed with a minor illness, and his mother was nagging him about how important it was to know a doctor in his old age, insisting on introducing him to a doctor. He was annoyed. After learning about Mr. Deng's identity, he brazenly made his first acquaintance.
The moment Deng Laozi showed his surprise at the painting, he knew it was a success. Later, during the holidays, his father would always remind him to go and show his appreciation. What kind of appreciation could he have? Socializing was already tiring enough, so he just wrote a few auspicious words and sent them over. Deng Laozi was kind and accommodating. Every time he received a piece of calligraphy from him, he would contact him, calling him "Friend Zhixu," and praising his ever-improving calligraphy.
This was his first visit in two years. Upon learning of his arrival, Mr. Deng enthusiastically prepared a large selection of fruits and vegetables, and displayed his prized collection for him to admire. After exchanging pleasantries, he presented him with a painting. A man like Mr. Deng, naturally understanding his purpose, said, "Young man, don't be so polite. Feel free to speak up if you have anything to say."
He never refused, so he directly stated his purpose. Old Deng smiled and said, "Just make a phone call, my friend. It's not a big deal."
He touched his hair and feet and said, "It's a big deal for me."
Deng Lao laughed even more heartily: "I understand. Young people, after all."
Old Deng opened the scroll, took a look at it, and sighed, "Young friend, you've lost a lot."
Elder Deng hung up the painting and examined it carefully for a long time before saying, "I shouldn't have let you suffer such a loss, but I really like it, so I have no choice but to ask you to part with it."
Tang Zhixu hurriedly declined and said that this book was a gift to Mr. Deng.
Taoist Deng put away his painting and said sincerely, "If you need me in the future, don't be shy. We are friends regardless of age. I am already old, but you have a promising future. It is because of you that I have benefited from your help."
On Monday, Qin Tian didn't come to the museum. He wondered if Elder Deng had moved so quickly. He was afraid she was busy, so he didn't want to disturb her. On Tuesday, she still hadn't come. He sent her a message to check, and sure enough, it was just as he'd thought. He was relieved.
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