Hurt her
"Hmm..." In the darkness, Zuo Xiao slowly opened his eyes.
Her hand reached for her pillow, flicking on her phone: It was just past five. Suddenly, she was furious: It was all his fault! He'd given up halfway through last night, leaving her feeling restless and unable to sleep. Her dreams were filled with indescribable dreams...
She fumbled in the dark for a while, turned on the bedside lamp, picked up her cell phone, aimed at the glittering fingers and pressed the camera button.
Less than half a minute after the photo was sent, he replied: "Come over now and wait for me."
She replied: "No, don't come."
I was half asleep when I was woken by my phone. A deliberately low voice came from the receiver: "Baby, can you open the door for me?"
"No." She snorted impatiently, "Don't you know the password? Come in yourself."
"That won't do," he said. "I'm a man of principle."
"Fuck! Shame on you!"
It was already noon when Zuo Xiao woke up again. Zhuang Yu'an had come quietly and left quietly, staying for an hour. Before leaving, he said he would come again tonight. After that, she slept soundly and contentedly, waking up feeling refreshed and relaxed.
Suddenly, a strange thought popped into my head: If that guy were a duck, he'd be incredible! With his hardware and dedication, he'd definitely become the king of ducks!
Walking into the living room, I found Jiang Yun packing her suitcase. The suitcase was at least 28 inches long, much larger than the carry-on luggage she usually used on business trips.
"Didn't you just get back? Are you going on another business trip?" Zuo Xiao spoke up for her, "Your boss is a complete juicer."
Jiang Yun looked up and smiled, "It can't be helped. Many clients are holding annual meetings before the New Year, and we're also very busy." As she zipped up her bag, she said, "I'll go home straight to celebrate the New Year after the event. See you after the New Year."
"Oh." Zuo Xiao suggested, "How about we have lunch together? I'll treat you to hot pot."
The two went downstairs together and met Zhang Jianming downstairs.
"A business trip again?" he said to Jiang Yun.
"Yes." She smiled. "There's a lot of work before the New Year. Are you taking a break today?"
Zhang Jianming paused and said, "I haven't been feeling well recently, so I've asked for leave."
Zuo Xiao saw that his cheeks were thin and his face was pale. He looked even worse than when he saw him under the lamp last night. He couldn't help but ask, "Have you been to the hospital for a check-up?"
Zhang Jianming was slightly startled, a touch of emotion welling up in his eyes. He smiled and said, "My stomach isn't feeling well, but it's not a big deal." He waved his hand and said, "You guys get busy."
After he walked away, Jiang Yun said, "He really does look like he has a bad stomach. He's so thin, and I can even smell stomach odor when I get close."
"Is there?" Zuo Xiao recalled that he didn't seem to have had close contact with him, nor did he smell any odor.
"I've always had a keener nose than anyone else since I was a kid." Jiang Yun said with a meaningful smile, "No matter who's having an affair at the company, don't even think about hiding it from me!"
Back home, Zuo Xiao immersed himself in practicing a new song, completely forgetting the time. By the time he put down his guitar, it was already dark. He looked up at the clock and saw it was just after seven.
"What time will you come over?" she messaged Zhuang Yu'an, "Should I wait for you to eat?"
After a while, she didn't get a reply. She guessed he was in a meeting, so she took out her phone to order takeout. Just then, there was a knock on the door, and she couldn't help but curl her lips: So this guy didn't reply to the message just to play Suprise?
The moment the door opened, Zuo Xiao couldn't even shake the smile off his face. Standing outside was Zhang Jianming. He was wearing a black mid-length down jacket, with a large foam box at his feet.
"A friend sent me some Xinjiang salmon. Let me give it to you to try," he said with a smile.
Yesterday, they had just delivered braised goose, and today they had salmon. Zuo Xiao felt that he was being too attentive, so she declined, saying, "You're too polite. You can keep it for yourself."
Zhang Jianming seemed to have misunderstood and explained, "This is raised with snow water from the Tianshan Mountains. It has no parasites and is safe to eat."
This made it difficult for Zuo Xiao to refuse: "Thank you!"
Zhang Jianming bent down and picked up the box: "Let me help you carry it in?" Zuo Xiao moved aside, and he walked in sideways, changed into the slippers she gave him, and put the cardboard box on the floor tiles next to the dining table.
"Do you have any scissors or a razor blade for unpacking?" he asked.
Zuo Xiao took out the retractable blade used to open express packages. After taking it, he squatted down and cut the tape along the gap between the box body and the lid. His movements were steady and meticulous. It was obvious that he was a steady person and a reliable person.
He pulled out a few bags of vacuum-packed salmon from the foam box, and the rest were ice packs.
"Sure enough, it doesn't come with mustard." He laughed, "But luckily I brought it." Then he took out a small tube of mustard from the pocket of his down jacket and put it on the table.
Zuo Xiao was touched by his thoughtfulness, but at the same time felt embarrassed. After thinking for a moment, he said, "Wait a moment."
She brought a small box of cherries and a box of egg rolls that the Zhuang siblings had brought yesterday. Zhuang Jinghao said this shop's egg rolls were delicious, but they only sold them in Hong Kong and didn't have an online store.
She found a pocket, put the food in it, and handed it to him with a smile: "Take it back and eat it."
Zhang Jianming's eyes were filled with emotion. He pursed his lips and took the bag: "Thank you."
She walked him to the door and was about to open it when he suddenly moved and stood between the door and her.
Zuo Xiao looked up in surprise, only to see him suddenly turn around, his eyes flashing, his sallow face painted dark red, like a person with a fever.
An ominous premonition came over her, and her heart suddenly tightened.
"I..." Zhang Jianming's lips moved, his voice drifting, "I have something to say to you... Can you let me finish before you leave?"
At that moment, Zuo Xiao smelled the odor emanating from his mouth, the same odor that Jiang Yun had described, the smell of something rotting. She tried hard to control her expression, her fingers clenching around her trousers as she forced herself to remain calm. "I'm going downstairs to eat. How about you come with me and we can talk while we eat?"
Zhang Jianming curled his lips: "Although I really want to have dinner with you, I can't eat..."
The corners of his mouth twitched nervously: "I feel like vomiting as soon as I eat..."
Zuo Xiao took a short breath and frowned, "Is your stomach... problem serious?"
Zhang Jianming looked at her with an almost compassionate gaze, as if looking through her to see himself. "Advanced stomach cancer," he said calmly. "Maybe I have six months to live."
Zuo Xiao's eyes widened suddenly, as if someone was pressing down on her shoulders and her throat was blocked. She couldn't utter any words of comfort; any offer would have seemed frivolous.
"I'm sorry to bother you." Zhang Jianming forced an extremely unpleasant smile. "You're the first person besides me and the doctor to know. I didn't tell my family because even if I told them, it wouldn't change anything. Instead, it would prolong their suffering."
When he said this, she thought of a very crucial question: Why did he tell her?
Zhang Jianming seemed to see through her thoughts and said almost beggingly, "Can you chat with me? I have no one else to talk to right now."
Zuo Xiao felt a mixture of emotions. Her intuition told her that this man's mental state was at a dangerous critical point, and she'd better not anger him. At the same time, it was hard not to feel a basic sympathy for his plight.
"Okay, let's go talk at the dining table." As she said that, she turned around and walked towards the dining table, deliberately walking slowly, wanting him to walk ahead so that she would have the opportunity to turn around and rush out the door, choosing a safer environment to listen to his suffering.
However, he didn't let her have her way. He walked even slower than she did, always making sure to stay between her and the door.
The room was small, and it didn't take long for them to reach the dining table. Zuo Xiao picked up the salmon on the table and said, "I'll put it in the refrigerator."
"Okay." Zhang Jianming followed closely and watched her open the freezer drawer, put the salmon in, then close the refrigerator door, go back to the living room, and sit on a chair at the dining table.
Zuo Xiao picked up the kettle on the table and asked as he poured water: "When did you find out you were sick?"
Zhang Jianming also sat down and said, "About a month ago, I suddenly vomited blood. I went to the hospital and found out I had cancer."
Zuo Xiao felt heavy-hearted. He held the water cup in both hands, his eyes fixed on the water. "Is there no cure?"
"The doctor didn't say that directly," he said expressionlessly, "but he told me that if I have any unfulfilled wishes, I can put them on the agenda."
He smiled faintly. "I thought about this question seriously at the time. I don't have any lofty aspirations in this life, and when I think about dying, I don't seem to have any regrets. I might as well find a beautiful place with clear water and mountains, and die peacefully alone."
As he spoke closer, the scent grew stronger. Zuo Xiao felt a tightness in her chest, almost suffocating, not only from the scent but also from the psychological pressure it brought. She felt her mind was simply not mature enough to face the question of life and death, let alone properly and appropriately counsel a dying person.
But she couldn't bear to let him stare into the abyss alone without any response, so she had to bite the bullet and said, "I remember you said you liked listening to music, symphonies. Do you want to go to the New Year's Concert?"
Her suggestion made him chuckle, and his gaze became even warmer. "That was a lie," he said. "I knew you liked music, so I pretended to like it too. But actually..."
He laughed at himself and said, "I'm a boring, monotonous person with no hobbies or interests."
"That's normal." Zuo Xiao intentionally changed the subject. "Studying and working are already tiring enough. In their spare time, most people just want to browse their phones or empty their minds. Who has time to develop hobbies..."
Suddenly, Zuo Xiao heard the sound of a zipper, and his scalp tingled. Turning around, he saw Zhang Jianming taking off his down jacket.
"It's really heated here." He draped his down jacket over the back of a nearby chair. He was wearing a gray cashmere sweater, a slim-fitting style, but it looked baggy and oversized, revealing the skinny body beneath.
She turned her head hurriedly: "I'm a little hungry, do you mind if I order some takeout?" Her eyes drifted to the sofa where her cell phone lay.
"I'll give you something," Zhang Jianming said. "We've known each other for so long, but I've never treated you to a meal." He reached into his down jacket pocket and pulled out his phone. "What do you want to eat?"
"That's so embarrassing." Zuo Xiao refused. "I'm eating alone at my own home, and I still want you to treat me?"
"It's okay." Zhang Jianming said, "I don't have much time left. It's a rare opportunity for me to treat you to a meal. Just consider it a favor."
Zuo Xiao thought for a moment and mentioned a shop at the entrance of the community. That shop prepared meals very quickly and could deliver them to your door in less than half an hour.
Zhang Jianming asked her to tell him what she wanted to eat, fiddled with his phone for a while, and said, "I've ordered."
After he put his phone back in his pocket, no one spoke for a while and the air became quiet.
Zuo Xiao stared at the water cup in her hand, feeling as if every second dragged on like an eternity. She couldn't guess whether the other person had any ill intentions, and she wanted to tell him directly: "I sympathize with your situation, but you're making me uncomfortable. Can we try another setting?" She had never been one to dwell on things, but tonight, faced with such a complex situation and such a pitiful person, she found it difficult to be decisive.
"Actually, I haven't finished what I said just now." Zhang Jianming said suddenly.
Zuo Xiao was surprised and turned to look at him: "What?"
The man's face was tense and excited again, and his eyes were clearly trembling. After a moment, he said hesitantly, "I later realized that I still have an unfulfilled wish in my heart..."
His eyes flickered and his cheeks flushed: "I like a girl, but I haven't confessed to her yet..."
Zuo Xiao's breath hitched, alarm bells blaring in her head. She wished he was referring to someone else, but the situation made it impossible for her to harbor such hope.
After a long while, she spoke under his anxious yet hopeful gaze, "Every affection is precious, but I don't think all affection needs to be expressed out loud. Sometimes keeping it in your heart is better for both parties; this affection is purer and can be preserved longer."
Zhang Jianming stared at her, his lips curled up. "Then who gets to judge whose feelings should be expressed, and whose feelings can't be expressed openly, so they can only humbly hide them deep in their hearts?"
At this moment, Zuo Xiao's mind was buzzing with alarm, and the hairs on her body stood on end. "Humble," "unworthy," the other party's words seemed calm, but the emotion in them was very negative, making her feel the danger approaching.
She forced herself to remain calm and said, "No one can judge except the person involved. So the person involved should think carefully about what they really want and what the other person's situation is. If the other person only sees them as a friend, then it's best not to destroy that friendship."
"Friends..." Zhang Jianming leaned back in his chair dejectedly, his mouth twitching as if he was smiling. "What if I don't want to be friends?"
Zuo Xiao's heart was in his throat. He held his breath unconsciously and looked at him vigilantly.
Zhang Jianming's breathing became increasingly rapid, his chest heaving. He slammed the table. "I'm fucking dying!" he roared, his eyes bloodshot. "I'm fucking dying! Am I supposed to never get to the table until I die?"
At that moment, Zuo Xiao was so frightened that his ears were buzzing and his scalp was numb. In a flash, he caught sight of the small knife used to open cardboard boxes on the table and grabbed it quickly without thinking.
Zhang Jianming saw this move. His tense limbs suddenly relaxed, and he glared at her sarcastically: "See, this is what you call a friend. You're guarding against me like a wolf..."
Zuo Xiao was furious at his accusation and, not caring about maintaining the surface peace, he scolded, "You are emotionally unstable and scared me. Can you please be more normal and speak properly?"
"Normal?" Zhang Jianming seemed to find it ridiculous and laughed nervously, "You tell a dying person what's normal?"
He shook his head, squinting his eyes as he scrutinized her. "I've only just realized that you're not kind or gentle at all. All those nice things you did before were just pretense... Hehe, you're just a slut pretending to seduce men..."
Run! This was Zuo Xiao's only thought at the moment. Without wasting a second, she jumped up and rushed to the door.
However, Zhang Jianming was already on high alert. As soon as she took a step, he reached out and grabbed her left wrist tightly.
"Let me go!" She raised her right hand tremblingly and pointed the tip of the knife at him.
However, in the eyes of the nearly crazy man, such a threat had no deterrent effect at all. He suddenly struck her right wrist with a palm knife, and she groaned in pain as the knife fell.
He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her against the edge of the table. The table was against the wall, supported on one side by the wall, allowing him to pin her down with his body. Zuo Xiao tried her best to break free, but she was unable to do so. The stench of his rotting breath and his foul thoughts made her feel sick.
"Xiaoxiao, don't be afraid..." The other person stared at her from a very close distance, his eyes suddenly becoming devout and eager. "How could I hurt you? How could I bear to do that... Sweetheart, kiss me and I'll let you go, okay?"
At this moment, Zuo Xiao's tears burst out. She leaned back, turned her face to one side, pursed her lips tightly, and tried her best to stay away from him.
"Why don't you look at me... Don't you think highly of me?" Zhang Jianming held her tightly, his emotions gradually showing signs of collapse. "You have so many men around you, one today, another tomorrow, why can't you have me? Is it because I'm not as rich as them, not as handsome as them, not as good at talking and making you happy as they are? Tell me, do you dislike me? Tell me..."
As he rambled on, Zuo Xiao remained silent, biting her cheek, trying to maintain her composure. She knew nothing she said would help her escape her current predicament. Ignoring him and letting him do his thing was the most powerful resistance she could offer. She didn't intend to call for help, as the doors and windows were locked; her voice would surely be silenced before anyone else could hear her.
Her coldness drove Zhang Jianming completely mad. His breathing quickened, his whole body trembling, and he suddenly pressed forward. When Zuo Xiao turned her face away, he buried his head in her neck and ravaged her.
Tears welled up in Zuo Xiao's eyes, but he clenched his teeth and made no sound.
Suddenly, the shackles on her body loosened for a moment.
Now! She suddenly pulled her hand away, grabbed the glass on the table, and smashed it hard on the back of his head.
As the other person screamed in pain, she dodged out and tried to head for the door, but was blocked. She quickly turned around and rushed to the sofa.
The moment her right hand touched the phone, a pair of hands clamped her shoulders tightly. She was thrown onto the sofa, and then the phone was thrown away with a loud thud.
The next second, the man with red eyes came down.
"Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you..." He coaxed with a strange expression.
Just then, there was a knock on the door: Dong, Dong.
The two of them froze at the same time. Just as Zuo Xiao was about to shout "Help," the man's hand clamped down on her mouth.
Dong, dong, two more bangs. Zhang Jianming held her down tightly, covering her mouth so that she couldn't utter a single word.
"Quiet!" he threatened in a whisper, "I said I don't want to hurt you! Be good and listen!"
The lack of oxygen and the excitement made Zuo Xiao's face flush red and his whole body tremble. Suddenly, a thought flashed through his mind -
Will I die today?
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