Protect her
Turning a corner, Chen Liqing asked as he walked, "Where are you going? I recently found a pretty good boxing gym. How about going there for a fight? I think you didn't have enough fun just now."
Zuo Xiao shook his head, thought for a moment and said, "Let's go have a drink."
In broad daylight, the two of them went into a dark bar. Zuo Xiao ordered a margarita, which he finished in a few gulps, and then ordered a Long Island iced tea.
"When did you start writing novels? How did you keep it a secret so well?" Chen Liqing started chattering after drinking some cat urine. "What novel is it? Can I take a look?"
Zuo Xiao was annoyed by him: "Shut up! If you keep nagging, get out of here!"
"Why are you so blunt... Where did your superb language skills go? Why don't you use them on me? Come on, let me..." Before Chen Liqing could finish his words, Zuo Xiao grabbed a handful of pistachios and stuffed them into his mouth, finally shutting up his chatterbox.
The man, having learned his lesson, stopped talking. Zuo Xiao also stopped talking, drinking quietly. He felt sleepy midway through his drink and fell asleep on the table.
I woke up and continued drinking. At a certain point, I started to cry. Still silent, tears welling up in my eyes.
This wasn't the first time Chen Liqing had been drinking with her. He knew she didn't get upset easily, but when she did, she'd just drink and cry. She'd been a strong-willed person since she was little, and to have someone belittle her talent in front of her and even use money to pressure her must have been hurt.
At that time, he was so angry listening to it that he almost grabbed a cup and smashed it on the forehead of the bastard, but he couldn't help wanting to see how Zuo Xiao would fight back. After hesitating for a while, he was successfully killed by her.
But this isn't over yet! That jerk is bullying others with his power, even daring to investigate her behind her back! Wait, he'll investigate her too! He won't believe there won't be any faults!
The two sat side by side. Chen Liqing patted her on the back and coaxed her, "Writing novels is just a hobby. We're not aiming for awards. Just write something casually. Do we really have to win a Nobel Prize? Besides, who the hell is that idiot? Just because he says it's not good, it's not good. Don't pay any attention to him! Just write it and publish it. Don't treat him like a cuckold!"
"Why are you so long-winded? Silence is the best beauty for men, don't you know..."
Zuo Xiao's eyes and cheeks were red, and her smoky makeup had become a splash of ink, but she was still very cute. Chen Liqing asked the clerk for a pack of wet wipes and then took her face and removed her makeup. She obediently let him do it, looking extremely cute.
"Xiaoxiao, I'm serious: you're just talented, no matter what others say!" Chen Liqing rubbed her shoulders and coaxed her. "Look at you, you can draw, play guitar well, and sing even better! You can even write novels? You're so versatile and well-rounded, you wouldn't find another person like you in all of China!"
Zuo Xiao looked at him with tears in her eyes, sniffing and saying, "Then you said...you said that throwing a brick at the Conservatory of Music would kill a hundred Zuo Xiaos..."
"Uh... I was just jealous of you, and you took it seriously?" Chen Liqing wiped the tears from her eyes with her thumb. "I also learned guitar back then, but I played like crap. I was so dissatisfied that I said that to you."
"That's right!" Zuo Xiao burst into laughter. "What you play is not even a guitar. Even a turtle playing cotton can sound better than you!"
“Yes, yes!”
Chen Liqing was only happy for two seconds, but the next moment, she saw Zuo Xiao burst into tears again. "You're trying to comfort me, right? I'm not that good... It's like my dad said, I'm just a jack of all trades, master of none... Zhou Zhihui also said that I'm half-baked, with a bad temper and a mean streak... You all think my only good feature is my face, and nothing else matters, right?"
"Nonsense!" Chen Liqing pounded the table in anger. "You're a jerk! You've got to be so rude to talk to you like that! When I get to Shanghai, I'm going to give him a beating!"
"You said that too..." Zuo Xiao muttered, "You said I was too picky when looking for a job and didn't know my own worth... You said I wouldn't be able to pay the rent sooner or later... You also said I was blind and would even be attracted to a cheapskate like Zhou Zhihui... You also said I..."
Chen Liqing was troubled. He didn't expect that Zuo Xiao not only listened to what he said when he and Zuo Xiao were quarreling, but also held a grudge against her. He immediately regretted his decision.
He grabbed her hand and slapped himself in the face: "It's all my fault. I'm talking nonsense with my stinky mouth! Don't take it to heart..."
Late at night, Chen Liqing called a designated driver, then helped Zuo Xiao get in the car, get off the car, and go home - back to his home.
Last year, he bought a 160-square-meter, four-bedroom, two-living-room apartment near the North Fifth Ring Road. The plan was perfect: one room for the couple, one for the children, another for when his parents came to stay for a while, and the remaining room could be used as a study and temporary guest room. But since the renovation, he's lived there alone, and it's been rather lonely.
He placed her on the sofa and fed her half a cup of warm water. She collapsed after drinking it, and he picked her up again, carrying her sideways. He had been planning to go to the guest room, but suddenly changed his mind and carried her to the master bedroom, where he laid her on his bed.
After taking a shower, he came into the room in his pajamas and carefully wiped her face with a wet towel, applying some moisturizer. After that, he sat by the bed, looking at her for a full half hour, calling her "Xiaoxiao" a few times, and then got up and went to sleep in the guest room.
"Are you asleep?"
Zhuang Yu'an knocked on the door, but there was silence inside. It was only ten o'clock, so his sister must be awake, but her silence was enough to make her attitude clear.
He thought about it, raised his hand and knocked on the door again.
After a while, the person in the room said, "I'm asleep!"
Zhuang Yu'an hesitated for a moment and said, "I had a meeting with Zuo Xiao today."
After a series of rapid "dong dong" sounds, the door opened and my sister glared and shouted, "Why are you looking for her?"
"I hope she will stop creating online garbage and poison you." Zhuang Yu'an said calmly.
Zhuang Jinghao was stunned and asked in panic, "You told her everything? You said I approached her on purpose?"
"right."
"What are you doing!" Zhuang Jinghao pouted and tears welled up in her eyes. "I told you not to bother me! Why are you doing this? Why..." She bared her teeth and claws, punching him in the chest randomly.
Zhuang Yu'an stood still as a mountain, letting his sister vent until she dropped her hands exhaustedly, turned around and ran inside, and fell on the bed.
"Wow..." She buried her face in the pillow and cried loudly.
Zhuang Yu'an walked into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. His sister had turned the room temperature down very low, and he felt a chill all over his body.
His sister was going to see Zuo Xiao tomorrow, so he couldn't really lock her up at home. Instead of letting the other party exaggerate and brainwash his sister, he should take the initiative and speak out first.
"She's not what you think she is." Zhuang Yu'an lowered his head and looked at his sister's twitching shoulders. "She has very low character, bad intentions, and is good at disguising herself. What you saw was just her deliberate act."
"Jinghao," he raised his hand to rub her shoulder, "You are too simple-minded and have little experience, so you are easily deceived and misled. As your brother, I can't watch you fall into the trap."
"Why are you always like this..."
Zhuang Jinghao sat up in bed. Her eyes were red from crying, and she was gasping for breath. After wiping her tears with her fingers, she clutched the quilt. "It's been like this since I was little! What you say is right is right, what you think is good is good... If I think differently than you do, I'm rebellious and unreasonable! And you still say you don't want to control me? If this isn't control, what is it? Tell me!"
Zhuang Yu'an felt his throat tighten, breathing becoming difficult. He took a deep breath and spoke in a suppressed voice, "This isn't control. I'm helping you screen and screen. You lack discernment, always overestimating people and oversimplifying things... It's also my fault for protecting you so well..."
"You're being arrogant!" Zhuang Jinghao retorted, her bright eyes burning with fire. "You always think you're smart and omnipotent, and you think I'm a fool and a child! You think I'm a pathetic creature who can't live without you! You only care about whether I obey your orders or not, and you don't even consider me an independent adult!"
Zhuang Yu'an saw the surging anger, sadness, and grievance in his sister's eyes...but didn't he also feel these emotions? It's just that as the older brother, he couldn't express or vent so many negative emotions. But he was not heartless, nor was he incapable of feeling pain.
"Let's talk when you calm down, okay?" He said in a deep voice, "Before then, I hope you won't see Zuo Xiao again. Bad company breeds bad company. Contact with her will only harm you."
Zhuang Jinghao shook his head: "It's like this every time... every time!"
She almost collapsed and complained:
"In elementary school, many classmates didn't like playing with me because you always interfered with everything they and I did!"
"In high school, Xu Zixuan suddenly broke up with me, and it was you who threatened him behind his back!"
"I endured it for years, trying to understand you... I thought my brother might have felt I was too young and worried about me, saying everything would be fine once I went to college... But when I got to college, you still interfered with me like before! I wanted to go to Tibet with my classmates, I wanted to ride a motorcycle... You wouldn't let me do anything!"
"After graduation, I wanted to go to Shanghai to work, but you stopped me..."
Zhuang Yu'an could refute every single thing she said:
When she was in elementary school, she was short and weak, and was always teased and bullied by her classmates. She was also stupid and did not learn her lesson.
In her second year of high school, she secretly fell in love, which was simply a joke on her future!
In college, she wanted to go to Tibet with her classmates, but she forgot that she had altitude sickness even when she went to Lijiang; she wanted to ride a motorcycle, but she didn't care how many young people died on the mountain roads every year.
And her vision for finding a job... Never mind, he didn't want to talk about it anymore.
Zhuang Yu'an remembered explaining the whole story to her, more than once. But she only remembered his discipline, not his reasons or his difficulties. She was like a cat that couldn't be tamed, only resenting her owner for not letting her touch this or that, unaware that those things were poisonous to her.
"I've already explained all of this to you," Zhuang Yu'an said weakly. "Maybe you think I'm arrogant, overbearing, and self-righteous, but if I look at my conscience, I've never forced you to obey my will without reason."
"The reasons you call them are just excuses you made up!" Zhuang Jinghao retorted sharply, "You only see the one thing you want to see, then magnify it infinitely, using one reason to overwhelm everything else! Just like you don't allow me to ride a motorcycle because I might die, then you can use the same reason to stop me from doing anything! If you don't allow me to eat rice cakes, you can just say that eating rice cakes might cause choking and you're doing it for my own good!"
"But the fact is, I didn't do that," Zhuang Yu'an defended himself. "For example, if you like driving fast, I didn't stop you from driving, and I bought you the car you liked. If you want to go scuba diving, I support you in trying it and finding the most professional team to minimize the risk. I'm not stopping you from doing anything unsafe, but I will assess the risks and keep them within a reasonable range."
"That's the problem!" Zhuang Jinghao said hysterically, "Why do I have to make the judgment for me? Why can't I make my own judgment and decision? I'm 23 years old! I'm not a child anymore! You are my brother, but you are not my God or my master!"
From then on, Zhuang Yu'an finally understood: his sister, after too long in a warm and carefree environment, yearned for the wild and mysterious wilderness. She wanted freedom, absolute freedom without constraints. Therefore, his protection of her became a cage, and she just wanted to go out and explore, thinking that the worst that could happen was a couple of falls and a scraped knee, which could be fixed with a Band-Aid.
Therefore, she was destined to reject any interference from him, no matter what reasonable reasons he had. She would even subconsciously go against him: if he told her to go east, she would go west; if he told her to stay away from Zuo Xiao, she would get closer to him.
It seemed he had to adjust his approach. If he continued to protect his sister the same way as before, he would only push her further away.
"I see, it's indeed my problem."
Zhuang Yu'an stood up: "I will reflect on whether I have interfered with you too much. Go wherever you want to go and whoever you want to see tomorrow. I won't stop you anymore. Go to bed early, good night."
The door was closed gently, and Zhuang Jinghao stared at the door in a daze, with tears still in the corners of her eyes.
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