She decided
The sudden interrogation caught Zhuang Jing off guard. After a while, she stammered, "That's right... you... you're naturally suited to music..."
This reaction made Zuo Xiao even more suspicious. He squinted his eyes and examined her for a while before asking, "Is there any other reason?"
Zhuang Jinghao bit her lip, then suddenly rushed over and hugged her.
"I'm afraid you'll find a drudge job that takes up all your time..." She buried her head in the crook of her neck and said aggrievedly, "In a city like Beijing, especially one working in design, overtime is common. I'm afraid we'll be apart less and less, and gradually we won't see each other much anymore... It's better to pursue music. I'll have more free time so I can hang out with you more often..."
A warm feeling passed through Zuo Xiao's heart, and he teased, "So you'd rather I become a pauper, right?"
This made Zhuang Jinghao chuckle: "You have to believe me! I will definitely not let you become poor, not to mention that you have your brother here!"
"You're really something." Zuo Xiao snorted and rubbed her head with his hand. "Do you really think you're Mrs. Li Ang?"
Zhuang Jinghao laughed even louder when he heard this: "You can be Marx, and I can be Engels."
Soon they arrived at the gate of the community, and as usual, the Zhuang brothers and sisters accompanied the guests to the end.
As soon as Zuo Xiao entered the residential complex, his name was called. The man, tall and thin, his frail frame shrouded in a black suit that was noticeably too large for his size, smiled and greeted, "Are you back?"
Zuo Xiao smiled back at him: "Yeah. Did you just get off work?"
"Yeah. There's a lady who owns Building 3 who asked me to help her with something."
Zuo Xiao didn't want to talk more and waved goodbye to him.
"Who is this?" Zhuang Jinghao asked, and Zuo Xiao replied, "From the property management."
Before the holidays, she was carrying a large backpack and using crutches to catch a high-speed train when she ran into this man downstairs. He enthusiastically helped her with her backpack and even walked her to her online taxi. As they exchanged pleasantries along the way, she realized he was the new property manager, Zhang Jianming.
The brother and sister walked her home. Before leaving, Zhuang Jinghao said, "Think carefully about starting a band. If you join, I'll be your assistant!"
Zuo Xiao laughed: "Do you know what the assistant is going to do?"
"The worst that can happen is running errands, ordering food, and getting takeout." Zhuang Jing laughed heartlessly, "As long as you have hands and feet, you can do it!"
Zuo Xiao glanced at Zhuang Yu'an and teased her, "Would your brother be willing to let you do this?"
"What's the big deal?" Zhuang Jinghao grabbed his brother's hand and said in a coquettish tone, "Brother, you don't mind, right?"
Zhuang Yuan paused and said seriously, "As long as it doesn't affect my main job."
The brother and sister went downstairs. Zhuang Jinghao walked behind her brother. Seeing his tall figure looked lonely under the dim street lights, she suddenly felt a little distressed and hurriedly caught up with him.
"Brother, what's wrong with you? Are you worried?"
Zhuang Yu'an slowed down his pace and said after a while, "Why did you and Liang Sirui try so hard to persuade Zuo Xiao to join the band?"
Zhuang Jinghao's breath caught in her throat, and she said, "She's perfect for it, don't you think?" After a moment's thought, she added, "She truly loves music! When she performed over there this afternoon, she was glowing!"
"Yes, I can tell she's passionate about it." His calm tone lacked emotion, as if he was simply stating an objective fact. "But she may not be suitable."
"How could it be!" Zhuang Jing was very unconvinced, "She plays the piano well, sings well, and is so beautiful. She was born to be on the stage!" After saying that, she pouted and looked at her brother, but saw that his lips were stretched into a serious straight line.
"This road will be difficult and we may not see any results," he said worriedly.
Zhuang Jinghao pondered her brother's words, seeming to understand what he was worried about, yet also seemingly not. Feeling suffocated, she argued, "So what if there's no result? Shouldn't people do what they truly love? Even if there's no result, at least there was a process. I've worked hard and enjoyed it!"
There was no response to these words. Zhuang Yu'an fell silent, and Zhuang Jinghao said no more.
The car stopped at a red light, and she turned to look at her brother. The window was down, and he was gripping the steering wheel with his right hand, his left hand folded and resting loosely on the window frame. It was a relaxed pose, yet his facial features remained stern and profound. His dark eyes, cast forward, held a faint glow of red, as if he were contemplating something serious.
"Are you cold?" He turned his head in the cool night breeze. Zhuang Jinghao was stunned for a moment and shook his head: "Not cold, quite comfortable."
She thought for a moment and said frankly, "If Zuo Xiao joins the band, they'll have to rehearse every week. Come with me to visit the band! Also, you can sign up for keyboard lessons with Lao Sun. You can play the piano, so you have a good foundation for keyboard. Maybe you'll have the chance to become a backup keyboardist and be a teammate with Zuo Xiao in the future!"
Zhuang Yu'an's brows relaxed for a moment before retracting again. He said calmly, "So that's what you were planning."
"Yeah..." Zhuang Jinghao twitched the corners of his lips, but felt inexplicably bitter in his heart, "Friends should always visit each other often..."
There was no response for a while, and after a long time I heard my brother say, "Well, you are right."
That night, Zhuang Jinghao was preoccupied and couldn't fall asleep.
At the same time, more than ten kilometers away, Zuo Xiao was also tossing and turning in bed.
Although I haven't decided to join Lao Sun's band yet, my mind has uncontrollably started to think about the future:
Would they be satisfied with her level? What if the style of music Lao Sun wanted to make wasn't what she liked? How should she dress for the band's first performance? All kinds of thoughts swirled in her mind, bubbling like a pot of boiling water.
After much thought, she realized she had a lot of areas for improvement. She definitely needed to learn music theory and vocals, and she should also pick up electric guitar; after all, only playing acoustic guitar has its limitations... But she wasn't completely without strengths: at least she had a good image, and as a designer, she could design the band's VI, posters, and merchandise. She could also handle the VJing duties for the band's performances...
She realized she was losing her mind, like a gambler rushing headfirst into a casino. This was dangerous, and someone needed to pull her back.
The next evening, Chen Liqing came to pick her up and took her out of the city.
He found a farmhouse nestled in the mountains and near a river. After dinner, he took two camping chairs from the trunk and took Zuo Xiao to sit by the lake.
The dusk deepened, but the rosy clouds still lingered. Zuo Xiao felt the breeze, his gaze fixed on the painting-like sky where the water met the sky, and sighed, "This place is really nice. How did you find it?"
Chen Liqing replied lazily, "My partner brought me here once last year."
"Oh. How's business been lately?"
"It's okay. Tell me, what do you want from me?"
He was so straightforward that Zuo Xiao didn't hide anything and told him about his plan to play in a band while working as a designer part-time.
Sure enough, Chen Liqing's first reaction was:
"Are you crazy?"
Zuo Xiao wasn't surprised at all. He said calmly, "I figured I'd give it a try. I'm free anyway. If I really can't take it anymore, the worst that can happen is I can go back and find a job."
"What do you mean you can't bear it anymore?" Chen Liqing frowned. "Does it count as burning through the remaining balance, or starving to death?"
"In a well-off society, it shouldn't be too easy to starve to death, right?" Zuo Xiao said casually.
"Wake up!" The man was annoyingly mean. "After three to five years of struggling, you'll be thirty. Do you think you can go back to the workplace by then? Never mind whether HR agrees or not. You've gotten used to a lazy life, so how can you go back to being a nine-to-five office worker?"
"Why can't I go back?" Zuo Xiao said stubbornly, but then lost his composure. The other party gave him a sarcastic look: "You can lie to me, but don't lie to yourself."
Zuo Xiao tsk-tsk-tsked and said stubbornly, "Then continue with Soho."
"That sounds nice, but Soho... isn't he just a bunch of unemployed people?" Chen Liqing's words were like poison. "Besides, AI is developing so fast, and there are so many designers without jobs. Where are you going to find work?"
"You're really that down on me, aren't you?" Zuo Xiao got angry, kicking his calves, clad in slim jeans, forward. The heels of his suede boots scraped harshly on the gravel. "You mean I just play in a band today, and that's the end of my life?"
Chen Liqing sneered in my ears: "You come to talk to me but don't want to hear the truth. Do you want me to hold up a light sign to cheer for you?"
Zuo Xiao felt bored and scratched his temples, saying, "I just want to find an outsider who can analyze this objectively and neutrally for me, instead of just pouring cold water on me."
"If you're honestly asking for my advice, my advice is just don't do it. If you really want to have fun, wait until you find a proper job and then have some fun in your spare time."
Zuo Xiao didn't respond to him, but frowned and fell into deep thought. The two of them fell silent for a while.
The last ray of twilight on the horizon was completely swallowed up by the deep blue. A crescent moon finally made its presence felt, hanging brightly in the sky and floating gracefully on the water. Suddenly, a gust of wind swept through, shattering the moon into pieces. The reeds growing by the lake rustled in the wind, dancing wildly in the moonlight, like cursive script.
After the wind passed, Zuo Xiao said, "One night we were drinking and chatting at Xiao Jinghao's house, and she asked you a question. Do you remember?"
Chen Liqing was silent for a moment, then said, "She has so many questions, which one are you talking about?"
Zuo Xiao chuckled softly and repeated, "Chen Liqing, do you love your career?"
It was Chen Liqing's turn to frown. After a moment's thought, he said sarcastically, "Are you trying to say that music is your ultimate love?"
Zuo Xiao raised a hand, smoothing his wind-torn hair, then cast his gaze upon the rippling lake. "I thought a lot that night," he said softly, his tone tinged with rare seriousness. "I'm pretty sure I really don't like being a designer for a company."
She shook her head. "I don't hate design itself, but I dislike having to follow someone else's schedule and waste so much time dealing with meaningless people and things. Being forced to distort my own aesthetic and alter my work is even more annoying... Why should I waste my life on this?"
As soon as he finished speaking, a sneer came from the side. "Who doesn't want to live the way they want?" Chen Liqing sneered, "But this is real life, not a dream. You're not the God of Wealth, so why should others have to follow your will?"
"I know," Zuo Xiao explained. "It's a one-for-one deal. I want to earn this salary, so this is what I deserve. But the question is, do I really have to earn this salary? Will I be unable to survive if I earn less?"
This made Chen Liqing roll his eyes. "Alright. Then from now on, don't eat out, don't take taxis, take the bus or subway. Give up your 4,000 yuan house and move into a shared apartment for a few hundred yuan... Are you happy with this?"
Zuo Xiao choked at his words, her face instantly burning. She lowered her eyelashes and said stubbornly, "How can we know if we don't try?"
Chen Liqing shook his head as he listened. "You only think that way now because you haven't reached that stage yet. If you were to live like that, you definitely wouldn't last more than two weeks."
He asserted in a serious tone: "Zuo Xiao, I know you too well. You are not someone who can endure hardship at all."
The person he had made the final judgment on was silent for a moment, then said, "First of all, just because I haven't experienced hardship doesn't mean I can't endure it. Secondly, my choice of music doesn't mean I'll be broke. What if our band becomes popular?"
"What if it doesn't catch fire?" Chen Liqing asked back, "What if you've been trying for three, five, or ten years and still can't find this person? Just like the eldest son of the Jiang family, he's still a useless person at his age, what will you do?"
Zuo Xiao knew the "waste" he was talking about. It was the son of his old colleague, Mr. Jiang. He'd started playing in a band in college, but for over a decade, he'd never made a name for himself. He'd even constantly begged his family for money, becoming a laughingstock. Zuo Xiao had met him a few times, but the one that stuck with him most was one late autumn: shirtless, wearing only boxer shorts and flip-flops, he squatted among a field of sycamore leaves, smoking and drinking beer, his long, greasy hair tied back in a braid.
Even without this negative example, she knew that being in a band was a path to poverty. After falling in love with rock music in college, she gained a deeper understanding of the scene: only a few bands made it big, while the rest were utterly broke. Many, even in their thirties and forties, still had to take green trains and stay in hostels to perform.
"Not really." The delicate eyebrows and eyes were frosted in the moonlight, and the voice was also frosted, very cold. "I said, it's just for fun. Maybe I'll quit after a few months, but I have to give it a try."
"I didn't say you can't try!" Chen Liqing said in a bad tone, "Why don't you find a class and play music in your spare time? That way you can do both. Isn't that good?"
"How can there not be delays?" Zuo Xiao's voice became hurried, a hint of anxiety in his clear voice. "I need to learn so much in the next six months that I simply can't spare the time or energy for work. I don't even want to work!"
This was the first time she showed excitement tonight. Chen Liqing couldn't help but be a little stunned, but after a moment, he realized: "You call this just playing around? I think you're just planning to throw away the big picture to pick up the sesame seeds! You want to change your career and make music! Are you crazy?"
Zuo Xiao took a short breath, her bright eyes gleaming with stubbornness in the moonlight. "I just want to give myself a chance." She clenched her hands into fists in her lap. "Why do people have to repeat the past? Can't we just jump out and try another path?"
Chen Liqing stared at her blankly for a moment, then looked away, staring straight ahead and saying in a deep voice, "I'm afraid you'll take a detour. You and I are both ordinary people, and life doesn't have that much room for error."
"Tolerance..." These three words rolled around in Zuo Xiao's mind. "What is right? What is wrong?"
Chen Liqing pondered for a moment and said, "Survive first, then develop. This principle is true everywhere. Respect objective laws, avoid detours in life, and don't let down at critical moments. This is also true."
"What about you?" Zuo Xiao sneered. "It's been several years since you graduated, have you ever worked a day in your career? If it's right for you to go against the grain, then why is it wrong for me not to want to work?"
"We're on different paths, there's no comparison. I was lucky. I struck gold before I even left school, and I'm already well-off. There are investors in starting a business now, so going to work for a salaried job is a mistake. And you..." He chose his words carefully, "You haven't even solved your basic survival problems yet. Besides, you spent four years studying design and another four working in this profession. Don't you think the cost of starting over now is too high? Even if you have to take a risk, you should seek breakthroughs in your existing strengths, not jump into a field you're completely unfamiliar with and try to gamble on a small chance of success."
These words resonated deeply in Zuo Xiao's mind. She pondered his words, feeling unhappy but unable to refute them, because what he said was exactly what she was worried about.
She'd always lived realistically, not one to give up sixpence for the moon. While she didn't have a strong desire for worldly success, a decent life was always her bottom line. She wasn't afraid of not getting rich, but she was terrified that a life that could have been decent would be shattered by a single misstep, sliding irreversibly into the abyss.
But she suddenly felt unwilling to accept this, and she curled her lips and sneered, "According to you, my life is set in stone, right? Daring to step out of line is asking for trouble. You're not asking for your own life."
Chen Liqing did not give a direct answer, but said: "The road is made step by step. The way you come determines the way you go, and one step leads to the next."
He paused and continued, "If I hadn't chosen the path of a sports student in middle school, I wouldn't have been able to go to university with my grades, and I wouldn't have met Fu Mingyan and been persuaded by him to start a business. If we hadn't chosen to sell the project later and had continued to work on it, we would most likely have become victims of the capital war and never made our first pot of gold. If I hadn't had a large sum of money right after leaving school, with my personality, I would never have dared to speculate in cryptocurrencies, and I wouldn't have made such a huge leap in wealth later..."
He summed it up this way: "At first glance, life seems full of coincidences, but when you put it all together, it's all inevitable. One link is linked to the next, and if any link is broken, the chain will fail."
Zuo Xiao thought about the path he had taken, which was nothing but one step after another, one link after another.
In elementary school, she excelled, always placing in the top three in her class. After her parents divorced, she was left alone, unleashing her own passions. She spent her days playing the piano, reading novels, and simply playing around. Her grades plummeted, leaving her only slightly better than Chen Liqing's. Following Lao Zuo's planned path as an art student, she studied painting and, naturally, enrolled in an art college. After graduation, she naturally became a designer, a position she held for four years.
The power of inertia is so powerful yet so insidious. If she hadn't been fired due to an accident, and then hit pause due to a foot injury, she would be somewhere doing her usual job, then at some point in time move on to the next environment, repeating the same tasks and enduring the same emotions... Four years pass like this, life seemingly moving forward, but in reality it's just going in circles within its walls.
The moment the wall was seen, it cracked open under some force, and a gust of wind passed through the crack, bringing with it a breath of fresh air.
But she was the only one who smelled this scent.
Chen Liqing felt the air grow heavy and the light around him dim. Looking up, he saw the moon had hidden behind the clouds, with only a faint light peeking through the gaps between the layers of dark clouds.
"It's going to rain, let's go back," he said.
They both stood up, took their chairs, and walked back silently. As soon as they got in the car, a light drizzle began to fall, leaving short, interlaced streaks of water on the windshield.
Chen Liqing pressed the ignition button, the engine roared softly, and the headlights suddenly lit up, illuminating a chaotic and confusing scene in the misty drizzle.
At this moment, a voice as clear as moonlight rang out from inside the car: "But I still want to try. I love music, and I want to experience what it's like to be a creator and performer. Even if it turns out to be a detour in life, or even a completely wrong path, going in the wrong direction..."
She turned her head to look at him and said firmly, "But at least I tried."
Chen Liqing was stunned for a long time, then stepped on the accelerator silently.
The car drove through the drizzle, the windshield wipers whirring monotonously and drowsily. He stared straight ahead, driving, and suddenly said, "If you really want to do it, go ahead. Even if you're poor, I'll support you."
Zuo Xiao was stunned for a moment, then he said "Pooh" with a smile in his eyes.
"You wish." She said proudly.
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