Chapter 25: This house has very poor sound insulation.
Yang Jie arrived that afternoon, Chang Ruyin didn't get home until very late, and Su Zhi was browsing online courses shared for free by teachers.
It has to be said that the internet has developed incredibly fast. Just two years ago, the internet was like a wasteland, but now it's flourishing with everything imaginable. If it had been this developed years ago, she would have definitely found a way to save enough money to continue her studies.
Su Zhiluo's grades were not bad before; she had always been in the top ten. However, at that time, her family believed that no matter how much she studied, girls would eventually get married. No one supported her. She lived in a small mountain village with no source of income. Sometimes, she would forget to herd cattle and cut pig feed because of studying, and she would be beaten and scolded by the adults.
Now she is motivated to learn, and because she loves learning, she asks Liu Chengxu questions when she doesn't understand something, so she doesn't find it too difficult to learn.
Chang Ruyin knocked on the door and asked, "Am I disturbing your studies?"
Su Zhiluo finished packing her things. "I won't disturb you. Come in. How are you today?"
Chang Ruyin came into her bed, and Su Zhiluo made way for her, saying gently, "Come on, tell me, I'm listening."
Su Zhiluo was gentle by nature. Chang Ruyin hugged her and sighed, looking very lost. "I gave her flowers, and she seemed quite happy, but nothing came of it... I thought we could at least hold hands."
Chang Ruyin said in a low voice, "She didn't come specifically for me. Her aunt's baby was having a one-month celebration, so she just happened to be passing by. I thought it was for me."
That's probably what love is like. Su Zhiluo thought, there's always a gap in relationships, and if you can't accept that gap, things will get really bad.
She gently patted Chang Ruyin's shoulder. She was always the one being pursued, whether it was Liu Jinhuan or Liu Chengxu. She was always in a different situation, only needing to consider whether or not to accept the love.
In love, she was never brave enough, but she always encountered people who were fearless and unwavering.
After listening to Chang Ruyin's heartfelt explanation, she also glimpsed the pursuer's state of mind for the first time. It wasn't always a happy ending, but rather a rollercoaster of emotions, filled with sadness and confusion, and a multitude of complex and unspeakable feelings.
Chang Ruyin said, "Did it remind you of Liu Jinhuan...? I'm sorry."
Su Zhiluo was too embarrassed to say that what she was worried about now was Liu Chengxu.
She asked, "How can I alleviate this?"
Chang Ruyin said earnestly, "Maybe it would be good if we could get it."
"get?"
"Yeah, it's because you can't have it that it feels torturous. It's like you've been in Guangzhou for half a year and you really want to eat spicy food, it's so irritating."
Itchy?
Su Zhiluo was only afraid.
Su Zhiluo gently comforted her, "Relationships take time. Many loves come quickly and go quickly. Don't you want to seriously build a life with someone?"
That makes sense, and Chang Ruyin is always willing to listen to the advice of someone who has been through it all.
Chang Ruyin asked softly, "What does it feel like to fall in love with someone?"
Su Zhiluo wanted to answer, but when she opened her mouth to speak, she was silenced.
Her thoughts suddenly became a jumbled mess, unable to discern whose love she should answer with. One moment she thought of Liu Jinhuan, the next of Liu Chengxu. The two sisters were turning her heart upside down.
What exactly is love?
It's a journey through countless twists and turns, where every breath carries the traces of another person, where for a fleeting moment, the mind is filled with images of her and one's future. It's like souls signing a death pact, yearning for eternity, never to be separated.
The next day, Chang Ruyin invited Su Zhiluo to dinner, and she treated them. Yang Jie was also there.
Su Zhiluo didn't want to go, but Chang Ruyin said that if she didn't go, it would be awkward to leave only her and Yang Jie.
As Su Zhiluo predicted, it's inevitable that people will feel awkward when living apart; there's no such thing as an instant spark.
Chang Ruyin was dressed as usual, without dressing up specially, saying that what she wore yesterday made her feel very uncomfortable.
They went to the nearby "Pintangju", a time-honored restaurant that offers affordable prices and specializes in Shunde and Cantonese cuisine.
Chang Ruyin did most of the talking at the dinner table. Su Zhiluo occasionally glanced at Yang Jie and noticed that her gaze towards Chang Ruyin was noticeably different; it was no longer as cold as before, but instead held a spark. Most of the time, she smiled at Chang Ruyin.
When one person looks at another and unconsciously smiles, love has already blossomed and cannot be hidden.
Chang Ruyin treated everyone to a meal, and she went to pay the bill.
The two sat facing each other, the ambiguity of the past gone. Yang Jie asked, "How are things with that guy? Have you made up?"
Su Zhiluo said, "It's alright."
The two smiled slightly, just like friends.
Su Zhiluo wanted to ask how far things had progressed between her and Chang Ruyin, but when Chang Ruyin returned, Su Zhiluo felt embarrassed to ask and said she would go back first, telling them to go sightseeing in Zhuhai and that she wouldn't be a third wheel.
On her way back, Su Zhiluo texted Chang Ruyin: "[She's interested in you.]"
She also wanted to send a message to Yang Jie, but after thinking it over, she realized that Yang Jie was probably more experienced, and her interference would be superfluous.
Liu Chengxu sent her a message.
Liu Chengxu: [Something very strange happened today.]
Su Zhiluo: [What is it?]
Liu Chengxu: [I met Cha Baomei's older sister.]
Su Zhiluo was familiar with Meng Zhenyue, but she hadn't seen Cha Baomei much and didn't understand what Liu Chengxu was talking about.
Liu Cheng explained that this matter was not simple, and typed two words.
Orthopedics.
Su Zhiluo: [Are you sick? What happened? Did you break your leg?]
Liu Chengxu withdrew his comment, saying, "Never mind if you don't understand."
Su Zhilu thought for a while, could it be the kind of incestuous relationship in novels?
Here's what happened.
On Saturdays and Sundays, they take model photos for businesses; this is their current side job that earns them money.
They were filming when a girl stood by watching with a dark expression. Liu Chengxu thought someone was there to cause trouble, and she was about to go over and ask when Meng Zhenyue pulled her back.
Then I heard the girl say, "What do you mean by transferring the money to me?"
Cha Baomei said, "Congratulations on going abroad."
The girl remained silent for a moment before saying, "No need."
Cha Baomei frowned. "What do you mean?"
"I don't need it."
Liu Chengxu was shocked and immediately asked Meng Zhenyue when Cha Baomei started dating.
Meng Zhenyue said, "This is her sister."
Liu Chengxu had always known that Cha Baomei had an older sister, but he had never met her.
She looked closely and saw that Cha Baomei's older sister was very tall and had more defined features, and she really didn't look like Cha Baomei.
After Cha Baomei's sister finished speaking, she left. Cha Baomei was also unhappy. She quickly put away her camera, found her, and asked, "What do you mean? Everyone can congratulate you, but you don't want me. I'm not worse than you, am I? I also got into this school through exams. Do we sisters need to compete like this?"
Cha Baomei's sister didn't say anything.
Cha Baomei felt like her good intentions had been taken for granted, and she was very upset. She said, "Do you know how long I've been saving money? I take photos and edit pictures, I save money so that you can study abroad! Even if you get a scholarship, you still need living expenses. Do you want to go there and eat coarse food? Hehe, who knows if you'll even have coarse food to eat abroad, hehe."
She felt terribly heartbroken and kept sneering.
Liu Chengxu and Meng Zhenyue were about to go and persuade them when they ran into a pair of dark, deep eyes.
Cha Baomei said, "Take it or leave it."
Her sister asked, "Are you saving money just so I can go abroad?"
Cha Baomei didn't reply and walked away.
Cha Baomei was quite frustrated and couldn't understand why her sister wanted to study abroad, and since the family wasn't very wealthy, she tried her best to save money to help. Why didn't her sister appreciate it and even looked at her with hatred?
Liu Chengxu couldn't help but ask, "Is she really your biological sister?"
Cha Baomei nodded.
Although they went to the same school, there were some differences between them. Her older sister was in the engineering department. When they were freshmen, they went to watch Cha Baomei's debate competition. At that time, they were far away, so she didn't watch closely. Cha Baomei didn't go to greet her either. She thought the sisters didn't get along.
Their department's official website still features Cha Baomei's personal introduction.
Cha Baomei retorted, "Don't we look alike?"
Liu Chengxu shook his head.
"Okay, she doesn't look like him. My mom says she looks like my dad."
"……oh."
Liu Chengxu said, "I'm very familiar with the way your sister looks at you."
Why is it familiar?
Liu Chengxu felt that her sister looked at her in a way that resembled how she looked at her sister-in-law.
Liu Chengxu couldn't make wild guesses about her good friend's feelings; she could only conclude that her own thoughts were impure.
But she felt something was off, so she talked to her sister-in-law about it. However, Su Zhiluo certainly didn't know anything about orthopedics, so she didn't go into details.
April has passed, and Guangzhou is incredibly hot, like it's gone mad.
Su Zhiluo often has trouble sleeping.
At this age, Su Zhi naturally wouldn't deliberately abstain from sex, and would have desires that were hard to suppress. However, when she touched herself, the faces of Liu Jinhuan and Liu Chengxu simultaneously flashed into her mind.
Her breath hitched, and her fingertips trembled.
A heavy sense of guilt instantly overwhelmed her restlessness. She dared not continue, her legs pressed tightly together, her cheek buried deep in the pillow.
So she could only continue to suppress her feelings and no longer reveal anything about herself.
She wanted to take a shower, but then she thought of Chang Ruyin, who lived next door, and was afraid of waking her up.
I feel both annoyed and frustrated.
The rain outside the window was pouring down, much like her restless desires at that moment.
They've been suppressing their feelings for too long, but can't find a way out.
Liu Chengxu didn't go during the May Day holiday, and she didn't mention it either. She just kept staring at the ticket information, afraid that her sister-in-law would forget about it. But she didn't want to mention it, because if she did, it would be like she was asking Su Zhiluo for money.
She had been waiting for her sister-in-law to buy it for her.
It was as if it were a valuable admission ticket.
It was her ticket to ushering in the true height of summer.
At the end of June, Liu Chengxu burst into tears while eating in the cafeteria, startling Meng Zhenyue, who asked her, "What's wrong?"
"It's nothing." Liu Chengxu wiped away his tears, acting as if nothing had happened.
Liu Chengxu returned to his dormitory, drew the blackout curtains, and took out his phone again to double-check.
She lay down on the bed, her heart pounding. She had to keep checking the ticket purchase records before she could believe that Su Zhiluo had really bought a ticket for her.
This feeling was exactly the same as the experience of hyperventilation.
She wiped her eyes, forcing back the stinging sensation in her nose, turned over, and pulled a piece of clothing from under her pillow. She carefully smelled its scent, trying her best to suppress her surging emotions.
In the past, she had always groped in the dark, hoping that Su Zhiluo would not abandon her for her sister's sake. Now, this ticket was like a ray of light shining through the pitch-black night. She had developed enough endurance through daily running to support her in striving towards that ray of light.
She doesn't need to rush.
On this day, Liu Chengxu was completely immersed in silent excitement.
That night, she also received a message from Su Zhiluo: [I bought you a ticket. Don't bring any clothes, just come straight here. Take it easy.]
Liu Chengxu took a screenshot of these words and saved them to her WeChat Moments, making them visible only to herself. She captioned it: "The first time you opened my heart to me, I really liked you. I really wanted to send you this message. It's been a while since I wrote in my diary for you. It's not that I didn't want to, but I was afraid that if I did, you'd see how scared I would be. And I have to say it again, I really love you."
She received the message as soon as she finished writing.
Su Zhiluo: [Let me explain. The reason I didn't buy it for you right away is because there's been talk of a typhoon lately. I didn't know how serious or large it would be, so I was thinking of waiting until I found out before arranging for you to come over.]
During this time, she asked her colleagues who also worked in warehouses and finally understood that some typhoons just disappear after turning around. Of course, the safest thing is for it not to come, but Liu Chengxu will definitely be sad, looking like a depressed little dog. Su Zhilu couldn't stand those pitiful eyes, so let it come.
After sending the message, Su Zhiluo was about to go to sleep when another message came through.
Liu Chengxu: [Sister-in-law, thank you for explaining it to me. My heart is pounding. I like you so much.]
I want you for a lifetime. Even if you don't love me, I will still love you for a long time.
I'll give you everything I think is good, sob sob.
After sending the message, the status bar quickly flashed "Typing..."
Su Zhiluo didn't know what to say, so she just watched silently. A smile played in her eyes. Silly dog.
*
Before the holiday, Liu Chengxu bought a lot of dehumidifier bags and placed them in his rented room.
This time she was more experienced and wouldn't let their house get moldy again.
She had a dream.
In her dream, she and her sister-in-law had sex. Her sister-in-law was very proactive, and there was a lot of fluid, like a spring stream, flowing gently.
Liu Chengxu specially rode his bicycle to buy a lot of things, carefully packed them up, and prepared to bring them to his sister-in-law.
When Su Zhiluo saw her at the station, her heart ached—the girl was carrying a heavy hiking backpack, a bulging bag in one hand, and dragging a suitcase with the other. Years later, Su Zhiluo recalled that ever since Liu Chengxu confessed his feelings, it always seemed that she was the one taking the initiative to travel long distances to see her.
This persistence made Su Zhilu feel guilty.
She couldn't help but ask herself: Do I really deserve such sacrifice from him?
Looking closer, Liu Chengxu seemed even more beautiful. Her features had lost their youthful immaturity, gaining a more mature air. She wore a baseball cap and raised her eyebrows at Su Zhiluo. Even through her loose T-shirt, her well-toned figure was evident, with her subtly defined abs highlighting her youthful strength.
Her arms were equally beautiful, with thin skin encasing firm muscles. She dragged her suitcase and flashed a bright, radiant smile at Su Zhi.
Liu Chengxu, with his long legs, walked to her side in a few steps and softly called out, "Sister-in-law."
Su Zhilu responded softly, then came to her senses. Her attention had been entirely focused on Liu Chengxu's figure, and she didn't know what to say for a moment.
"Didn't I tell you not to bring anything? It's fine as long as you're here." Su Zhiluo said as she took the bag from her hand.
"Not tired," Liu Chengxu said, stepping aside. "I really didn't bring much."
What she didn't say was—she wished she could move her entire house to her.
The train carriage was stuffy and poorly ventilated in the summer heat, and half of Liu Chengxu's face was flushed. Su Zhiluo felt sorry for her and gently touched her face with a wet tissue: "You, how can you not know how to take care of yourself?"
"It's alright." Liu Chengxu smiled, pursing his lips.
Su Zhilu hailed a taxi and was hesitating whether to arrange for her to stay in a hotel when Liu Chengxu spoke up first: "Let's go back quickly. I brought ice packs, and they might melt if we delay any longer."
Su Zhiluo led her over.
Liu Chengxu carefully examined her living space. There were two bedrooms, half of the living room was partitioned off to serve as a kitchen, and a bathroom. The area wasn't large, but the layout was much more spacious than before.
Su Zhiluo put the things she brought into the refrigerator and handed her a bottle of soda. Liu Chengxu inserted a straw and slowly drank it, while Su Zhiluo pushed him into the bedroom to enjoy the air conditioning, while she stayed outside to continue tidying up.
Pushing open the wardrobe door, Liu Chengxu was slightly taken aback. Inside, there were skirts, short-sleeved shirts, and hot pants, all in the latest styles.
It was all prepared for her by Su Zhiluo.
More accurately, it was made by Su Zhiluo herself. She enrolled in a sewing class, and after learning, she often bought fabric and made her own.
This felt just like a childhood dream: opening a wardrobe filled with princess dresses. She hadn't had such dreams since her family went bankrupt in middle school. But Su Zhiluo secretly continued this dream for her.
During those difficult days, Su Zhiluo always carefully protected her self-esteem. What bothered her most was not having enough pocket money to buy trendy toys, but Su Zhiluo would always "casually" bring back small gifts and ask her to help buy groceries, keeping all the remaining money for her. Later, Liu Chengxu stopped thinking about buying toys and instead used the change to buy his sister-in-law a pair of gloves so that her hands wouldn't get cold when washing clothes in winter.
Su Zhiluo never let her do laundry, thinking it would interfere with her studies. So she studied hard, hoping to be as excellent as her sister.
Liu Chengxu looked around. There was a photo frame on the table with a picture of the two of them together. It wasn't a picture of them gazing at each other in an ambiguous way. It looked more like a picture that Su Zhiluo had printed herself: the two of them were sitting upright in chairs, very proper, like a family portrait.
Su Zhiluo's tablet sat on the table, next to a secondhand computer. Liu Chengxu casually pressed the space bar, and the screen lit up. The wallpaper was a photo of Su Zhiluo and her sister, their faces close together.
Liu Chengxu felt a lump in her throat. She recalled a phone call where Su Zhiluo, seemingly a little tipsy, whispered, "I can't forget your sister." Her sister had passed away early; if even those who remembered her were gone, she would truly disappear from this world.
Liu Chengxu suppressed the jealousy in her heart, and thought Su Zhiluo was really good—to remember her sister for so long. She gently closed her laptop and tablet.
It's okay. Looking at all the traces of herself in the room, she told herself that she should be content.
Liu Chengxu grabbed a set of clothes and went into the bathroom. She immediately recognized the bottle as Su Zhiluo's usual shower gel. Standing under the warm water, she suddenly understood why Su Zhiluo always set her sister as her screensaver.
Even though Su Zhiluo was entangled with her, and even though she felt guilty, Su Zhiluo still couldn't bear to forget her sister. Even while enduring moral condemnation and the burning pain of guilt, her sister would always be the white moonlight in her heart.
Su Zhiluo's love for her older sister was deeper than anyone else's, including her own as the younger sister.
Liu Chengxu's love for his sister wasn't as profound as hers; he would gradually let go of it over time and calmly recall, "I once had a sister."
But Su Zhiluo was different; it was "love," and her deceased sister would live on forever in her soul.
She disliked Su Zhiluo's lingering feelings for her sister, yet she knew perfectly well in her heart that the one she had fallen in love with was precisely this Su Zhiluo who couldn't forget her sister—she loved this very trait of hers.
Liu Chengxu rubbed the underwear by hand, and put the rest in the basket inside, just as Su Zhiluo had told him to.
After Liu Chengxu finished hanging up the clothes, Su Zhiluo urged her to go to sleep, then turned around and went into the bathroom, washing Liu Chengxu's change of clothes as she did so.
Liu Chengxu hadn't seen her sister-in-law wash her clothes in a long time. She stood at the door, watching Su Zhiluo's slender white fingers dip her clothes into the water, and was momentarily lost in thought.
She went back inside to tidy up for a while, then couldn't help but come out again: "Sister-in-law, let me wash myself."
"Just two items, they'll be ready soon." Su Zhiluo didn't let go.
Liu Chengxu squatted down beside the basin and gently took Su Zhiluo's hand in his. Thin calluses were on her knuckles. She looked down at her closely, but Su Zhiluo pulled her hand away.
"I was managing the warehouse a while ago and it always involved moving goods, so it was unavoidable."
"Mmm." Liu Chengxu's eyes showed heartache.
While Su Zhiluo was changing the water, she gently reminded her, "Sister Ruyin will be back tonight. This house has very poor soundproofing. Since our schedules are different, please be quiet when you go to the bathroom or do other things at night, so as not to disturb her rest."
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[Fanfan][Fanfan][Fanfan] You can't make any noise.
Shh.
Actually, this book is already in its later stages.
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