Chapter 36: You say do it.
Liu Chengxu stared at her, his lips trembling slightly. He asked, "Why did you wait for me? I didn't tell you I was coming back."
Su Zhiluo replied, "You have photos on your WeChat Moments."
She took a lot of photos while she was out having fun.
Undeniably, she often showed those photos to Su Zhiluo, harboring a desire for revenge. She wanted Su Zhiluo to see how well she was doing and to know how much of a pity it would be to lose her.
Su Zhiluo felt uncomfortable being stared at directly by her, and said, "Go eat, it's getting cold."
Liu Chengxu snapped out of her daze and smelled the aroma of chicken soup.
Su Zhiluo said, "I was afraid you wouldn't be back today, so I stewed half of it first."
Liu Chengxu gripped the handle of her suitcase tightly and said, "What if I don't come back? Wouldn't that be a waste?"
Her resentment resurfaced after she tasted success, and she pressed for answers, determined to get to the bottom of things.
What's the point of Su Zhiluo waiting in one place?
Liu Chengxu loves Su Zhiluo, who is waiting for her. But she also loves Su Zhiluo from high school, who used to ride her bike to pick her up at night.
Su Zhiluo said, "It's not like I don't have hands, I can't text you. If I can't wait, I'll ask you."
Su Zhiluo had her back to her. She hoped Liu Chengxu would stop asking. She was far from calm, and her eyes were already sore. She didn't want to cry.
The clay pot was very hot, so she wrapped it in gauze and carried it out.
Liu Chengxu's eyes reddened.
Su Zhiluo called to her again, "Let's eat."
Liu Chengxu went to the kitchen to wash his hands.
The food was still hot, clearly freshly cooked. Liu Cheng asked, "Do you cook so many dishes every night? Do you treat dinner as your main meal?"
Su Zhiluo said, "There's just a time difference. I'm in Guangzhou, and they also like to have dinner as their main meal. They can make it later during the day, but there's not enough time at night. So they don't waste it; they just heat it up and eat it the next day."
After working for so many years, Liu Chengxu's personality has become much more resilient, but whenever she sees Su Zhiluo, she can't help but have wild thoughts, wondering if Su Zhiluo has had a few hot meals these past few days.
Su Zhilu gave her a bowl of soup, and the chicken leg was given to her as well.
"Have something to warm up, you're cold."
Liu Chengxu cut the chicken leg in half and put one half in Su Zhiluo's bowl. Immediately, tears fell from Su Zhiluo's eyes.
Su Zhiluo didn't want Liu Chengxu to find out, because that would lead to a deeper investigation, like cutting open a heart, forcing the two of them to go through the bitterness again.
After she calmed down, she looked up at Liu Chengxu. He used to have the innocent charm of a young and energetic college student, but now he had gained a touch of feminine allure.
Liu Chengxu tucked his curls behind his ear and said, "If you dress too young when designing houses, people will think you have no experience."
"oh."
"Didn't you say my sister was a mature and sophisticated woman? Now you don't like her anymore?"
Su Zhiluo picked up a piece of tofu for her. As Liu Chengxu lowered his head to eat, she said, "I've never seen your sister when she was 25."
"You look great like this, you look great at 25."
Liu Chengxu paused for a moment and changed his posture when holding the chopsticks.
After finishing the meal, I put the dishes in the kitchen. It was too late, so I'll wash them tomorrow.
Su Zhiluo said, "Now that the water heater has been replaced, we can take a shower."
Liu Chengxu walked into the bathroom. The small space did not make her feel unfamiliar; the bathroom she used when she lived alone was about the same size.
She took a hot shower and came out to find a pair of fluffy slippers by the door. Her feet sank into the soft fur, and the warmth instantly enveloped her cold toes.
The bed was covered with brand-new flannel bedding. Su Zhiluo asked softly, "Do you want to rest right away, or do you need to use your computer or phone for a while first?"
Liu Chengxu said, "I need to check my phone for a bit. I have two clients here, and I need to go over to the site to discuss things with them when they have time."
Su Zhiluo went to the bathroom.
Half an hour later, Su Zhiluo returned. She had washed her hair and was blow-drying it.
"Why are you washing at night? Isn't it sunny tomorrow?"
Why
Su Zhiluo was too embarrassed to say that her hair smelled bad from absorbing cooking fumes.
I don't want to smell weird when I sleep with her.
Neither of them spoke.
Su Zhiluo was reading a novel when Liu Chengxu glanced at the plot and remembered how she used to do her physics homework by lamplight while Su Zhiluo sat beside her reading a novel. Liu Chengxu was getting a headache from calculating when she looked up and saw that her face was covered in tears.
At that time, they weren't very close yet. She really wanted to comfort Su Zhiluo, but because of her strange pride, she was too embarrassed to do so and could only hold it in.
Su Zhiluo didn't turn the page.
Liu Cheng asked, "Are you crying?"
Su Zhiluo was startled and the phone hit her face.
She turned to look at Liu Chengxu and said, "No, are you going to sleep?"
Liu Chengxu grunted and turned off the light. Su Zhiluo said, "I forgot to turn on the air conditioner."
"It's warm enough, I don't need it."
After another moment of silence, Su Zhiluo looked at the ceiling and asked, "Are funds very profitable?"
Liu Chengxu only bought a small portion; the majority was stocks, which are very risky. She lied to Su Zhiluo because she didn't want her to worry.
She simply said "It's alright" and ended the conversation, failing to realize that Su Zhiluo was trying to find a topic to talk about.
Su Zhiluo thought, "Then let's go to sleep."
Both of them were sleeping soundly, staring straight at the ceiling.
Liu Chengxu turned to the side, her back to Su Zhiluo. Her mind kept reminding her not to do anything and to go to sleep.
However, the fragrance of Su Zhiluo's hair that entered her nostrils was not a rich, overpowering scent, but a faint fragrance, like a subtle floral aroma.
Liu Cheng asked, "Did you change your shampoo?"
"Supermarket special price, 16.5 per bottle."
Just as Liu Chengxu was about to ask how to buy this cheaply, Su Zhiluo said, "It smells very good. Don't you like the scent of camellias?"
Liu Chengxu didn't understand why Su Zhiluo always said such things to provoke her. She held back for a while and said, "I just want to ask one question."
"Have you ever thought about me? Have you ever thought about me in such pain, in such an agonizing way?"
Surprisingly, Su Zhiluo answered without hesitation, "I've thought about it."
Liu Chengxu turned over and stared intently at her. "Then why didn't you say anything?"
“You sent me a message insulting me,” Su Zhiluo said.
"When did I insult you?"
"You said it was disgusting."
"Disgust, it was the dry heaving I felt every day back then. I was angry back then. I'm not saying you're disgusting, I'm saying I'm disgusting. I'm annoyed that you transfer money to me every time. I want to cut ties with you completely."
"I know what you said earlier," Su Zhiluo said slowly. "I know what you said later too."
"Then you can't say, Cheng Xu, don't cut ties cleanly."
Su Zhiluo pursed her lips, secretly biting her lower lip, and said, "Cheng Xu, please, don't break up with me completely."
Liu Chengxu's body trembled slightly, and her breathing suddenly became rapid. She had not expected Su Zhiluo to say it so suddenly.
Liu Chengxu's arm, which was supporting her on the edge of the bed, suddenly went limp, and she sank down. Her voice was filled with anger and embarrassment as she said painfully, "You did it on purpose, you did it on purpose, Su Zhiluo, I will hate you."
"It's for you," Su Zhiluo said. "I didn't mean to. You're back, and I don't want to argue."
During this time, she kept thinking that once she came back, they would stop arguing and get along well. Arguing was too painful, and they had been separated for several years.
Su Zhiluo said, "I've been thinking about you, and it's making me feel bad."
Liu Chengxu breathed heavily, her hands gripping the blanket tightly. "Su Zhiluo, you know you're going to lose me, so you're saying these things to comfort me, right?"
After a long silence, when the room became quiet, Su Zhiluo finally answered, "No."
What is that?
I miss you so much.
Su Zhiluo could hear her heart trembling.
It's not the "deep regret" after losing something, nor the pain of possessiveness.
She was experiencing an excruciating "longing," as if a piece of flesh had been ripped out of her body. Every time she thought of it, it brought a tearing pain, and each wave of pain gave rise to an even deeper longing.
Love and family affection have long been intertwined and coexisted in her very bones.
Asking her to give up would be tantamount to a slow, agonizing death.
A moment later, Liu Chengxu's hand was around Su Zhiluo's neck, and she moved closer to smell the faint scent of camellia. Back then, when they were poor, they only bought very cheap shampoos, and Su Zhiluo would pick out the least cheap-smelling scent so that Liu Chengxu wouldn't be laughed at at school.
She sat next to Su Zhiluo.
"If you keep talking like that, I'll want to sleep with you."
Su Zhilu frowned, and soon her cheeks felt hot.
“I was just thinking of coming back to argue with you again, to hurt you again, and then to say that I would never come back in this lifetime, to make you suffer, to get revenge on you…” Liu Chengxu said, “You seduced me, you tempted me.”
That's complete nonsense.
Su Zhiluo tilted her head slightly, but only to avoid eye contact. Her cheek was pressed against the pillow, and half of her face was flushed pink.
Liu Chengxu said, "I don't want to rape you."
After a while.
"Don't say that word."
Su Zhiluo then said, "...Use it."
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I'm here, menstrual cramps are just too painful.
Then I wrote the synopsis for Bao Mei's story (I couldn't resist your requests), but I didn't publish it yesterday. I don't know if many people are actually reading it. I'm afraid that after the meeting, no one will be there, and I'll be all alone. I don't like leaving stories unfinished, so it will be tough. You can check it out in my author page. It's categorized as a short story about immorality (someone said today that this is an immoral universe, a trilogy, and I'm really into it). If no one follows it, I'll keep it hidden. Since it's already considered a secondary couple, it's hard for many people to follow it.
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