Chapter 84 084 Smile
084 Smile
"A bright smile is the first step to good service."
The Smile Chamber of Commerce is a long-established and powerful organization based in Europe.
Its full name is "Smiling Teardrop Business Group", but in most cases people are still used to calling it "Smiling Chamber of Commerce"... This is mainly because many people have become accustomed to the title of Chamber of Commerce, so they have not changed their way of speaking.
Unlike the UN, which was established less than ten years ago, the Smile Chamber of Commerce was founded in centuries. It had clear paper documents as early as the Middle Ages, and if you include unofficial historical records, its earliest history can even be traced back to before Christ.
As early as the Common Era, there was a caravan composed entirely of people with supernatural abilities, and everyone generally agreed that it was the predecessor of the Smiling Merchant Guild.
To be honest, there are very few European countries that dare to say that their history can truly surpass that of the Smile Chamber of Commerce.
Thanks to this, since the Smiling Chamber of Commerce established its foundation in each country from the very beginning and grew alongside the country, and even nurtured the entire country itself, no force can shake the position of the Smiling Chamber of Commerce.
Defeating the Smiling Merchants would require destroying the entire economic structure of Europe, and only complete and utter destruction would be possible.
On the other hand, the Smiling Chamber of Commerce also adheres to the principle of "being responsible only for remuneration," without vying for power or influence, and completely refraining from any political involvement. Therefore, it seems unnecessary to expend a lot of effort to deal with the Smiling Chamber of Commerce at present—at least for now, things are strangely peaceful.
The Smiling Chamber of Commerce never gets involved in politics; their sheer size is enough to leave politicians helpless.
This business model, which is comparable to a "utopia" in commerce and theoretically impossible, has become a reality through the accumulation of absolute strength.
The terror of the Smiling Chamber of Commerce lies not in its depth in any particular field, but in the breadth represented by its supply chain, which encompasses all the resources that constitute modern society.
For example, most other companies are "digging wells"—the wellhead may not be very wide, but the depth is far beyond imagination.
Using this as a benchmark, the Smiling Chamber of Commerce is like an artificial lake, and a rather large one at that.
While it may not be as deep as a well, its total volume far surpasses that of a well.
"The difference between the Smile Chamber of Commerce and a country is only one government," a fact widely acknowledged in Europe.
Even in some countries where commerce is underdeveloped, the Smile Chamber of Commerce is the only large-scale manufacturer in their territory.
In addition... the Smiling Merchant Guild, as the number one mercenary group with supernatural abilities in Europe, is also renowned in the industry.
The Smile Chamber of Commerce's stance is that it has no stance; they made this clear in their promotional materials.
"Whether you are a saint or a villain, whether you are a redeemer or a massacre, as long as you pay the price, the Smiling Merchants Association can solve everything for you."
With sufficiently high compensation, the Smiling Merchant Guild is the most loyal ally; but when faced with an even higher offer, they are undoubtedly traitors.
Ah, but the Smiling Merchant Guild will refund the prepayment before they turn against you.
They generally don't try to make money from both ends; they always let people bid openly and fairly.
Back to the present —
Christie is now in the cockpit, watching alone as Vargrave assembles an antique radio with a wooden casing and intricate carvings.
It was supposed to be a radio station with a strong classical style. But for some reason, a black plastic receiver was placed on top of the station, which completely ruined the aesthetic.
This is the communicator for "Smiling Chamber of Commerce VIPs". Although it looks like a radio, its internals are completely different - it can only be used when connected to an existing wireless device, and the line will then be connected to the "branch managers'" communication devices.
Then, it's time for the "VIPs" and "branch managers" to do their business.
After assembling it, Vargrave quietly stepped aside. Christie deftly picked up the receiver, which seemed particularly out of place on the radio, and then flipped the switch.
A low humming sound rang out—it was the distinctive noise of the VIP line, supposedly one of the side effects of the anti-eavesdropping security system.
Or rather, it's an indication that the defense system is still working.
Before the buzzing sound of the device could even ring out a second time, the communication was connected, and the voices that came through were cold and sounded like those of some cold-blooded animal covered in scales.
"Hello - This is the Hell Branch of the Smiling Merchant Guild. How can I help you?"
It was a deep male voice with an lingering, chilling aura, yet it deliberately used a sweet, cloying tone that sent shivers down your spine.
Those are "negotiation techniques" that can make people nauseous and physically uncomfortable simply by using their voice and words.
However, it was obvious that Christie was no ordinary person. Having seen all sorts of perverts, she wouldn't be bothered by a mere remark.
—It's just a doe sound, but Vladimir's imitation is far more terrifying.
Christie remained unfazed: "Alright, now let's get down to business."
"Uh..." The other person paused abruptly before slowly and tentatively speaking, "Did you skip the unnecessary questions and boring arguments, and jump directly to 'getting back to the main topic' instead of just 'making a boring joke'?"
This time, the other person didn't deliberately use that cloyingly sweet tone. Although the voice still gave off chills, it felt quite normal.
It's just a naturally "cold voice," nothing special.
The person on the other end of the communication changed their tone with astonishing speed because they heard and recognized Christie's voice.
There was absolutely no need to use such a low-level tactic to deal with the "Death Angel." Thinking this, the man returned to his normal way of speaking as if nothing had happened, and then naturally changed the subject.
"Because I really have no interest in your boring, lame jokes."
"Ms. Christie, don't just tell the truth to me like that."
The other person sounded quite helpless, and also somewhat speechless: "This is very hurtful."
"I don't think you'll really be sad."
Christie glanced down and scribbled on a sheet of paper: "Three pleasantries, that's it—alright, do you know who leaked the news about the 'book'?"
“...”
At that moment, even the branch manager of the Smiling Chamber of Commerce, known for his eloquence, was at a loss for words.
It is said that Agatha Christie, the "Angel of Death" who once served as a clock tower attendant, and Sherlock Holmes were both geniuses and friends, and had clashed many times. However, it seems that because the two were too engrossed in their work, it left them with some aftereffects.
To put it simply, it means that sometimes we forget the various social rules that ordinary people follow.
Holmes was completely dependent on change; Christie, on the other hand, set a principle for herself—to exchange at least three pleasantries with anyone.
I used to remark that, despite both being geniuses, Christie at least understood human nature better than Holmes. But now it seems... they're practically equal!
Seemingly sensing the silence on the other end of the phone, Christie casually explained, "It's just a compromise between laziness and persistence."
In other words, you don't actually want to exchange pleasantries with the other person, but you still have to go through the motions for the sake of your principles.
"Never mind, whatever."
The branch manager abandoned dwelling on those matters and returned to the original topic: "We also have news about the 'book.' It came from Yokohama, passed through five intelligence dealers and three small factions, and then reached the group in a fairly 'normal' way."
When speaking about his area of expertise, the branch manager's voice regained its confidence.
"The intelligence sources did a lot of cover-up, intending to keep the information known only to the group."
A few soft laughs came from the other end of the communication. Against the backdrop of those strange tones, a sense of depravity seeped out from the words and spread through the air.
"But when it comes to transactions, nothing can be hidden from the Smiling Chamber of Commerce."
Christie's cold, almost emotionless tone mimicked the tone of the person opposite her with a light laugh, easily destroying the atmosphere in the air.
"Is it the black one?"
“That’s right, the information was leaked by that guy named Dazai Osamu.” The voice on the other end sounded very emotional, even a bit old-fashioned. “Oh my, young people these days are really interesting, especially this guy named Dazai Osamu—he has a black aura but became a detective. I really want to know what he went through before.”
During the conversation, the other person's tone became enthusiastic as if they had just remembered something: "Also, his hobbies are the same as mine when I was young. Looking at it this way, we two are quite destined for each other, aren't we?"
"Then I wish you two a successful suicide soon."
Even though Christie used this "blessing," which was practically a curse, the other party's tone remained cheerful.
"Let's forget about that. I've found a new hobby recently—but speaking of which, you didn't specifically use this line to call me just for these obvious questions, did you?"
The topic shifted so drastically in that instant that it completely disregarded common language habits.
Because Christie had already clearly expressed her impatience, the other party simply abandoned these social niceties that are crucial for ordinary people.
Neither of the two people on the phone at this moment can be considered "ordinary people" in the broad sense.
Christie adapted well: "It's just checking some information on the side—do I need to pay for this information?"
"No need for that. With your membership level, this level of information doesn't warrant a charge."
“However, if you want to hire the Smiling Merchants to participate in this game in Yokohama…” At this point, the branch manager paused deliberately for a few seconds as usual, “then I can only personally guarantee that I can give you a 10% discount.”
"A 10% discount is unnecessary—I'd like to ask in advance how many people you can send?"
Christie tapped lightly on the table: "Or rather, the remaining two 'commissioners' of yours are currently idle, right?"
“I see. The commissioner’s words are indeed currently idle.” The branch manager smiled knowingly. “However, the price the Smiling Chamber of Commerce charges is proportional to its strength, and the commissioner is no exception.”
"So, what can you offer in return?"
If you're going against a group, simply offering monetary compensation won't guarantee a victory.
Even disregarding the UN's already precarious financial situation, hovering on the brink of abject poverty, there are very few organizations with normal incomes that can outcompete the UN financially.
The group boasts one of the world's largest fortunes and a boss who is incredibly generous with money.
Therefore, Christie needed to pay some "special" compensation.
"Commission?" In the silence that the other party had deliberately created, Christie chuckled a few times, and when she spoke again, mimicking the other party's tone, there was a hint of urging.
“I’ll pay for this… how about your ‘one-third of your life,’ Goethe?”
After a brief, almost imperceptible pause, the joyful voice on the other end of the communication channel rang out again.
"It's a pleasure doing business with you, Ms. Christie."
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