Chapter 33 The Flower Burial was just as she wished; he truly did lose it…
Jia Fengtian squinted, his eyes filled with blurry, intertwined figures. He heard a cacophony of sounds rising and falling.
Those voices were restless and uneasy. Why? He was just tired and wanted to sleep.
He should get up; he still had to take charge. But drowsiness enveloped him, and he kept sinking deeper into the darkness. The light of reality was ultimately shut out, and he sank into the depths of his dream.
-
In the warm spring of March, peach blossoms and willows are in full bloom, and the flowers and trees near and far intertwine to form a colorful jade ribbon, shimmering and sparkling under the warm sunshine.
A warm breeze swept by, and petals fell like rain, gently landing on the shoulders of passersby, making everyone's smiling face exceptionally bright.
Young Jia Fengtian clutched the candied hawthorn his older brother had just bought for him tightly, his bright eyes darting curiously through the bustling market.
This was the first time he had secretly slipped out of the palace walls, and his heart was filled with indescribable joy.
Everywhere you look, there are novel sights: vendors hawk their dazzling array of goods, acrobats draw cheers, and even the air is filled with the sweet aroma of pastries.
He grinned from ear to ear, his bright white teeth always on display, completely unaware that the rock candy had melted and dripped onto the back of his hand.
He unconsciously slowed his pace, engrossed in licking the candied hawthorn while glancing around at the world.
Suddenly, a tiny, fair-skinned girl popped out from behind the eldest brother, Jia Yuhuai. The eldest brother gently pushed the little girl in front of him and said with a smile, "Come, Fengtian, let me introduce you to a little sister. This is Ruyan."
Jia Fengtian was stunned for a moment before he could see clearly the porcelain doll-like beauty before him. She had red lips and white teeth, and her large eyes blinked like obsidian soaked in a clear spring. Her jet-black hair was carefully braided into two small tufts, which swayed on her head with her timid movements, making her indescribably charming and lovely.
Jia Fengtian felt his face burning, and subconsciously scratched his head. He handed over the candied hawthorn he had in his mouth and said shyly with a smile, "Here, have some!"
The little girl named Ruyan frowned and shook her head repeatedly, hiding behind Jia Yuhuai.
Jia Fengtian tilted his head in confusion and pushed the candied hawthorn forward again: "It's delicious, why don't you want it?"
But then she replied in a childish voice, "...dirty."
Jia Fengtian stood there, holding the candied hawthorn, stunned. The sunlight shone on the glistening sugar coating, reflecting a dazzling light, but he suddenly felt a void in his heart.
-
"Yan'er, Yan'er Yan'er Yan'er Yan'er Yan'er Yan'er Yan'er Yan'er!!" Jia Fengtian's clear voice echoed between the palace walls, startling several birds perched on the eaves.
Hua Ruyan lifted her skirt and walked quickly, saying without turning her head, "Hey, Your Highness, how many times have I told you not to call me that?"
"Then what should I call you?" Jia Fengtian caught up with her in a few steps, his brocade robe shimmering in the sunlight.
"My name is Hua Ruyan." She deliberately kept a straight face, but the corners of her mouth couldn't help but turn up slightly.
“Why be so formal? We’ve known each other for so many years. I remember when you were little…” Jia Fengtian was interrupted by Ru Yan before he could finish speaking.
“When I was little, I wouldn’t even eat your precious candied hawthorns. Others couldn’t even get a lick of them. You’ve said that so many times.” She finally stopped and turned around, the pearl hairpin in her hair making a crisp sound.
Jia Fengtian paused, gazing at her profile, which was gilded by the sunlight, and a familiar flutter rose in his heart.
He strode after him: "So, who did you come to the palace to see today?
"Looking for you?" Ru Yan tilted her head, a sly glint in her eyes.
"Really!" His smile instantly blossomed, like a spring breeze brushing against peach branches.
Hua Ruyan blinked twice and teased, "Yes, I wanted to hang out with you, but I also wanted to see your older brother."
"...Then why don't you just go and play with him directly..." Jia Fengtian's voice was noticeably lower.
"I wish I could, but Brother Yu Huai is so busy, I can't bother him." Ru Yan sighed softly, but her eyes remained as bright as stars.
Jia Fengtian clearly read the words "You're the only one with free time" in her eyes, and couldn't help but purse his lips: "But I'm very busy too." His tone carried a bit of the stubbornness unique to young people.
"Alright then, I'm going back." Ru Yan glanced at him closely, then quickened her pace, feigning disappointment.
"No, I mean I'm not busy, no, no, it's just that I'm not too busy today." He hurriedly chased after him, his clothes fluttering in the wind.
Ruyan finally smiled broadly, turned around and naturally hooked her arm around his: "Your Highness... um, Brother Fengtian, let's go horseback riding today." Her faint fragrance wafted in the wind, making him momentarily dazed.
"Okay, okay!"
"Are you really not busy?"
"Not busy at all, how could I be busy?" He looked at her bright smile and secretly pushed the homework he needed to finish to the back of his mind.
-
On the day of Hua Ruyan's coming-of-age ceremony, Jia, by imperial decree, had the imperial chef prepare her favorite osmanthus cakes, rose pastries, and candied plums, packed in a gilded food box, and secretly brought to their usual lakeside pavilion.
Hua Ruyan arrived gracefully, her long skirt billowing in the air; the young woman was already showing signs of breathtaking beauty. She relaxed her beautiful brows and eyes, taking small bites of pastries, and squinted her eyes contentedly: "The imperial chef's skills are becoming more and more refined."
Jia Fengtian sat to the side, resting his chin on his hand, his gaze gently tracing her features. Sunlight streamed through the carved window lattice, casting dappled golden light on her eyelashes, and he felt there was no more pleasing scene in the world.
"Where is Brother Yu Huai? Hasn't he come?" She suddenly looked up, her lips still stained with a little powdered sugar.
A seemingly casual remark, yet like a pebble thrown into the center of a lake, stirred up ripples in Jia Fengtian's heart.
"He didn't come..." He paused, his fingertips unconsciously rubbing the hem of his clothes. "By the way, Yan'er, do you have... someone you like?" This question had been swirling in his mind for a long time, and he finally asked it now.
Hua Ruyan pouted, her cheeks still puffed out with pastries: "How much weight can my thoughts carry when it's an arranged marriage by my parents and a matchmaker?"
"What if... what if you were to choose?" His voice unconsciously softened, as if he were anticipating something.
A blush crept onto Hua Ruyan's cheeks. She leaned closer and whispered with the shyness unique to young girls, "If I had to choose... I'd still prefer Brother Yu Huai." Then she looked up at him shyly, "But don't tell him, okay? It'll be so embarrassing."
He heard the words he least wanted to hear in his right ear, and his left atrium skipped several beats.
He clenched his fists instinctively, his nails digging deep into his palms, but he didn't even have the courage to ask why.
Her smiling face, year after year, flashed before my eyes in my memory—it turns out that all that brightness was never for him.
"Then what am I to you?!" He finally couldn't bear it any longer and stepped forward to grasp her wrist. The question slipped out, each word as heavy as a stone.
"Brother Fengtian, you're hurting Yan'er." Her eyes were slightly red, and her eyelashes trembled.
“…I’m sorry…” He absentmindedly let go of her hand, looking at the faint red mark on her wrist, and felt endless regret welling up in his heart.
Hua Ruyan stared at him with wide, bewildered eyes. These were the very eyes he cherished in his heart, but now they reflected his disheveled appearance.
He finally lowered his head deeply: "Well... I have to go first." As he turned around, the hem of his clothes overturned the food box on the stone bench, and the delicate pastries rolled all over the ground, just like his broken heart.
When exactly did he begin to use the time it takes for a flower to bloom to yearn for a love that will never be reciprocated?
But the answer he had been waiting for was ultimately a complete disappointment.
-
His dream seemed to have shattered into many fragments, and memories surged like a tide, carrying the fragrance and sting of time.
On a Mid-Autumn Festival one year, the moonlight was as bright as silk. She sat beside him on the white marble steps, her face flushed with shyness, her skirt spreading out like flower petals.
"Brother Fengtian, Brother Yuhuai said he likes me too! Yan'er is so happy!" She swung her legs, the silver bells on her wrists jingling crisply, each sound striking his heart.
"Brother Fengtian, on the day of my wedding with Brother Yuhuai, you, as the matchmaker, absolutely cannot be absent." The moonlight shone on her happy profile, but he clenched his sleeves tightly where she couldn't see.
On that summer afternoon, the garden was filled with the fragrance of lotus blossoms. She wore her favorite pink dress, like a lotus flower just beginning to bloom. "Brother Fengtian, Brother Yuhuai presented Yan'er with his betrothal gifts today!" She twirled around, her skirt rippling in the breeze. "Ha, you can't keep your sweetheart waiting too long, you've already had your coming-of-age ceremony!"
Seeing him suddenly quicken his pace, she jogged to catch up: "Hey, wait for me! Hey, Brother Fengtian, why are you walking so fast? Don't be shy, whose daughter is your sister-in-law? Tell me, tell me~" Her laughter was as clear as a silver bell, but every word was like a knife.
And then there was their wedding night, a scene of vibrant red that stung her eyes. She threw off her phoenix crown, shattering the pearls and jade on the ground, tearing at her wedding robes as she glared at him angrily: "Jia Fengtian, why did you do this? Why did you do this!!!"
Her voice was hoarse yet sharp, “Feelings cannot be forced, nor can power compel them. Even if you take in three thousand beauties in your harem, I want to see how many will truly be devoted to you in the end!” The red candles crackled, reflecting her tear-streaked face, like a shattered painting.
The last fragment of the dream belonged to the night when all memories came to an abrupt end. She lit a room full of white candles, and the flickering flames illuminated the palace as bright as day, yet as cold as frost and snow.
She stood alone in the center of the candlelight, her white dress fluttering slightly in the night breeze, like a butterfly about to flutter away. When she turned to look at him, a faint, sorrowful smile played on her lips, and her eyes were filled with tears of despair.
“My heart has only one place, and it can only hold one person,” her voice was as soft as a sigh. “I gave it to him too long ago, so I’m sorry, Fengtian… brother.”
That cry of "Brother," carrying the lingering warmth of the past, solidified into mottled marks as the candle wax silently slid down, just like the heart he could never piece back together again.
-
Jia Fengtian suddenly rolled over, breaking free from his dream, his forehead beaded with cold sweat.
The bedchamber was filled with the gentle fragrance of sandalwood incense, and a profound silence reigned.
Time is the cruelest thing; it teaches people to miss, but then turns that longing into endless torment.
So he could only live on memories, trying to catch glimpses of those eyes that would never shine for him again in the fragments of the past.
Every word she uttered, her smile and her tearful eyes, her resoluteness and sorrow, were clearly etched in his heart, unforgettable, and he was unwilling to forget them.
But just as she wished, he truly lost his way to happiness.
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