Chapter 18 18. The song that taught me about the world
After suffering from insomnia for many days, Xie Kang was late for work today, which was unusual for him. He hurried into the classroom halfway through the morning self-study session.
He didn't know if it was an illusion, but Xie Kang felt that the students were much more impetuous than usual. Looking down from the podium, he saw more people whispering to each other than usual.
He suspected something had happened at school, but he didn't really care. School affairs were the same old constants: an extra or missing day off, someone winning an award, a student getting noticed or suspended. Last year's biggest story was a male teacher in the Chinese language department having an affair with a student's parent, and his wife came to school and made a scene all morning.
Because Xie Kang had to teach two classes in a row after morning reading, and the office building and the teaching building were far apart, he only had time to go back to the office during the break.
Xie Kang picked up a mug and filled it with hot water from the water dispenser to make coffee. Teacher Liu, who was sitting next to the water dispenser, suddenly asked Xie Kang, "Teacher Xie, were you the one who asked Teacher Zhuang to come to our school to substitute for the class?"
"What Teacher Zhuang?" Xie Kang, still not in the best of spirits, asked casually.
"That guy in the band, what's his name? He's a very handsome young man. I heard from the section chief that you two knew each other very well when you were both in No. 1 Middle School."
Xie Kang's hand trembled, and hot water splashed out of the mug, scalding the back of his hand red and causing his skin to burn.
He ignored the burns, put the cup down heavily, and asked Teacher Liu impatiently: "What do you mean by substitute teaching? Can you explain it clearly?"
Teacher Liu was shocked by his reaction and said, "Ms. Wang from the music department is on maternity leave. Your friend Zhuang will be filling in for her."
She glanced at the back of Xie Kang's hand and said, "Are you okay? This is the herbal ointment I brought back from my last trip to Singapore. Apply it on yourself."
Xie Kang only then felt the pain on the back of his hand, but thankfully it was just redness, no blisters. He didn't hesitate to be polite with Teacher Liu, scooping out some herbal ointment and applying it while saying, "His name is Zhuang Yongyuan."
Feeling a stinging pain on his skin, Xie Kang asked again, "You mean he came to our school as a substitute teacher?"
"That's a nice name. Teacher Wang has had severe morning sickness and told the Academic Affairs Office a long time ago that she wanted maternity leave. The Academic Affairs Office insisted that she finish this semester and transfer someone from the junior high school next semester. At the dinner party before, Teacher Wang was so upset when she talked about this. Luckily, an old classmate like you is here to cover for her."
Other teachers in the office chimed in: "If the school didn't want to take advantage of the celebrity's fame, they wouldn't let Teacher Wang rest."
"Is this Teacher Zhuang a celebrity? How come I've never heard of him?"
"What kind of band is this? Only young people like it. My daughter knows them and played them for me before. I couldn't understand them. The noise gave me a headache."
“No wonder the students are so excited today.”
Xie Kang returned the herbal ointment to Teacher Liu and thanked him. Teacher Liu looked at him suspiciously and said, "Teacher Xie, did you really not know that Teacher Zhuang was coming?"
"He didn't tell me, so how would I know?" Xie Kang shrugged and returned to his desk with his coffee.
But Zhuang Yongyuan hadn't completely kept it from him. Xie Kang now understood what Zhuang Yongyuan had meant when he'd told him at the cemetery that they would have many more opportunities to meet in the future.
But why did Zhuang Yongyuan come back to be a substitute teacher? Did he want to take a break? To experience life? But didn't he hate Pingnan the most?
While drinking coffee, Xie Kang looked up the overall schedule for this semester. The fourth class was the music class that Teacher Wang had taught before. If Zhuang Yongyuan was covering for her, she would be attending this class later.
Xie Kang couldn't sit still anymore. He made many mistakes when grading papers, and there was no reply to the message he sent to Adian. He simply walked outside and called her directly.
Adian was woken up from his sleep and asked Xie Kang what was the matter in an impatient tone.
"I'm sorry, I just wanted to ask you, why did Zhuang Yongyuan come to our school as a substitute teacher?"
"Huh?!" Ah Dian's reaction was even more surprised than Xie Kang's. He immediately perked up and asked Xie Kang, "You said Zhuang Yongyuan is a teacher at your school?!"
"The substitute teacher will probably only work until winter break. I only found out about this when I came to school this morning. Didn't he tell you?"
"No, after the group went on hiatus, he said he needed to rest for a while and told me not to bother him. Aside from asking him to call every week to let me know he was safe, we haven't been in touch. I thought he was on vacation somewhere. What could he teach? How did he become a teacher? Does he have a license? Is he teaching without one?"
"Teaching music. The certificate... He really has it." Xie Kang remembered that it was popular to take the teacher qualification certificate exam in the freshman year, and the tutoring class places were buy one get one free. He asked Zhuang Yongyuan to go to class and take the exam with him, but Zhuang Yongyuan refused. He also told Zhuang Yongyuan that he could still become a teacher if he was starving to death in the future. Zhuang Yongyuan reluctantly got the certificate.
I didn’t expect that this certificate would actually be used now.
"Then you go back to sleep, I'm going back to work."
Xie Kang was about to hang up the phone after he finished speaking, and Adian scolded him for being heartless. After Lily Heart left the group, she was considered unemployed, and he didn't care about what she was doing.
Xie Kang had no choice but to continue chatting with her for a few more words. When they were about to end, she reminded Xie Kang: "Then you should keep a close eye on Zhuang Yongyuan. Don't let anything like last time happen again."
"I know."
Xie Kang agreed, but he felt helpless. How could he possibly watch over Zhuang Yongyuan? Keeping him under close watch 24 hours a day? He'd be chased away in less than an hour.
Whenever Xie Kang thought about that incident, he felt a chill in his heart. He had thought Zhuang Yongyuan was in Shanghai, with his friends, or perhaps his lover, who would be able to take good care of him, but Zhuang Yongyuan had returned alone.
The more he thought about it, the more uneasy he felt. He had to see Zhuang Yongyuan in person. He finally made it to the fourth class. As soon as the bell rang, Xie Kang slipped into the science building and headed for the music room on the top floor.
As soon as he reached the stairs, Xie Kang heard that the music classroom was extremely noisy, and everyone was clamoring for Zhuang Yongyuan to perform and asking for his autograph.
Amid the noise, Xie Kang immediately caught what Zhuang Yongyuan said.
Zhuang Yongyuan was shouting at the top of his lungs, "Quiet, quiet. If you have any questions, you can ask them one by one."
The back door of the classroom was not closed tightly, leaving a gap the size of a palm. Xie Kang looked through the gap at Zhuang Yongyuan sitting on the podium. He was too frivolous to control the group of students.
Just as Xie Kang was hesitating whether to push the door open and go in to help Zhuang Yongyuan calm the situation, Zhuang Yongyuan spotted him first and said in his direction, "Did the school ask Teacher Xie to come over and supervise my class?"
All the students in the classroom looked at Xie Kang. Xie Kang had no choice but to push the door open and explain, "I came to ask our class monitor something."
He didn't bother to think about how abrupt this excuse was. He walked straight to the monitor and asked her, "Have we decided on the performance for the New Year's Eve party?"
The monitor looked at Xie Kang in confusion and said, "Teacher Xie, didn't you ask me to arrange it by next Monday? There are still several days left."
"The teacher from the Moral Education Department came to ask me today, so I came to ask you. If it's arranged, I'll report it to her directly later."
Zhuang Yongyuan suddenly said to the students, "Since Teacher Xie is here, why don't you let your Teacher Xie perform? It's very expensive to invite me to perform, but it doesn't cost anything to invite Teacher Xie."
Although Xie Kang is usually nice to his students, he is not very friendly and always makes people feel distant from him. When there is a rare opportunity to cheer Xie Kang, his students are all very excited, cheering, whistling, and clapping their hands on the tables.
"Come on, Teacher Xie, the get out of class will be over if you dawdle any longer." Zhuang Yongyuan folded his hands, leaned his upper body on the piano, and raised his chin towards Xie Kang.
He'd cut the ends of his bleached hair and let his bangs down, looking less striking and more student-like. But compared to his real student days, he also seemed more frivolous and nonchalant. Xie Kang remembered that he'd had lip and eyebrow piercings, but he'd removed them, seeming to be putting his heart into this substitute teacher role.
Xie Kang couldn't understand Zhuang Yongyuan's repeated requests for him to perform. Fortunately, practice was familiarity, and he'd performed at large venues like music festivals before, so he had no reason to be nervous in front of a class of students.
There was no guitar in the music room. Xie Kang sat down at the piano. Before playing, he whispered to Zhuang Yongyuan, "Why are you back?"
Zhuang Yongyuan didn't answer. Instead, he asked Xie Kang in a voice that the students could hear: "What song do you want to sing, Teacher Xie?"
Xie Kang then said loudly, "Let me sing a song that Teacher Zhuang taught me. We both loved this song when we were in high school."
When he used to hang out with Zhuang Yongyuan, Li Xiuyu and Du Jiahao at Echo Music Store every day, Xie Kang also learned some piano from Xu Zhen. In addition, he sometimes played keyboard when he was in a band at university, so he could barely play the piano accompaniment.
After Xie Kang twanged off a few chaotic notes, he finally found his rhythm. He glanced up at Zhuang Yongyuan, who was still leaning against the piano, staring at the keys, a vague smile on his face.
If you want to please, please. If you want to show off, show off. Xie Kang cleared his throat. This song has no prelude. He sang directly. I always thought I was a mystery and difficult to understand, but after you get to know me, it’s actually nothing.
I began to regret showing off my cleverness.
He didn't look directly at Zhuang Yongyuan while singing. Half of Zhuang Yongyuan's body was reflected vaguely on the lacquered surface of the piano. He stared at the shadow.
"Your voice is too soft, only I can hear it." Zhuang Yongyuan said, taking out a loudspeaker he got from somewhere, commonly known as a "little bee", and put it on Xie Kang's head. He also carefully adjusted the angle to ensure that the microphone was next to his mouth.
Xie Kang's electric, whirring voice echoed through the classroom. He glanced at Zhuang Yongyuan helplessly and continued singing. The students, however, all looked up, listening more attentively than usual.
This song was shorter than Xie Kang remembered. After singing it, no matter how much the students cheered him on, he refused to sing again and sat in the empty seat by the window. Zhuang Yongyuan didn't drive him away.
Music classes at No. 1 Middle School were always just the teacher playing songs while the students chatted, muddling through the class. Zhuang Yongyuan called on a student to ask if he had any questions, and the student asked Zhuang Yongyuan how he wrote songs, to which Zhuang Yongyuan actually began to explain in earnest.
He took Lily Heart's most famous song "Thousands of Typhoons" as an example, explaining how he arranged the music after writing the melody, where he piled up the strings, and why he buried a set of inconspicuous drum beats.
It’s just that Zhuang Yongyuan is not a good teacher at the moment. Although he is serious about talking about this song, he is completely immersed in his own world and thinks in his own way. Even people in the industry may not be able to keep up with his ideas.
Xie Kang was the only person in the classroom who could understand what he was saying. Most of the students were confused. Fortunately, with Xie Kang there, the students were relatively well behaved.
As the class was about to end, a student raised his hand again and asked Zhuang Yongyuan what the song was expressing.
The lyrics of the song were full of twists and turns, sometimes about life and death, sometimes about love and affection. It was so confusing and disorienting that it was impossible to understand them. Xie Kang pricked up his ears; he, too, was curious.
Zhuang Yongyuan simply shrugged, not giving a direct answer. He simply said something like, "Well, it's what you feel after listening to it."
The student was confused by his lecture and just as he sat down, the bell rang. Zhuang Yongyuan quickly announced the end of get out of class and ended his first class relatively smoothly.
Several students were reluctant to leave, and while Zhuang Yongyuan was tidying up his things on the podium, they pestered him with questions. Zhuang Yongyuan said, "I'm so hungry. I'm going to eat."
Xie Kang heard the monitor ask him, "Teacher Zhuang, a few friends and I are planning a program for the New Year's Eve party. Could you please be our instructor?"
"What? You want to form a band?" Zhuang Yongyuan asked her with a smile.
The monitor was a little shy, but nodded and said, "Yes, we...can we perform Lily Heart's song?"
"Forming a band will delay your studies. If you don't believe me, just look at your teacher Xie. He's a child prodigy who ended up being a teacher." He winked at Xie Kang and declined politely.
The monitor was still not giving up and asked Zhuang Yongyuan, "Teacher Zhuang, we rehearse every Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights. Can you come and watch when you are free?" Zhuang Yongyuan said nonchalantly, "We'll talk about it when the time comes."
Seeing that Xie Kang had not made a final decision, the squad leader was not too disappointed. He said goodbye to Xie Kang and left.
Zhuang Yongyuan knocked on the desk and asked Xie Kang condescendingly, "Teacher Xie, aren't you going to eat after school?"
Xie Kang stretched and said to Zhuang Yongyuan, "Still there."
"What's still there?"
Xie Kang pointed at the wall below the window. It was covered in graffiti and names. Besides the names of celebrities and anime characters, there were more students' names: "xxx handsome guy," "xxx loves xxx." In short, it was a wall brimming with adolescent hormones.
Zhuang Yongyuan and Xie Kang were no exception at the time. They wrote their names in an inconspicuous place and drew a heart in the middle.
When Xie Kang finished writing, Zhuang Yongyuan was worried that others would see it. Xie Kang said there was nothing to be afraid of and wrote his name in bigger size.
Perhaps because of the remote location, their names have not been completely covered up after ten years. Although they are blocked by other characters, the general strokes can still be seen.
Zhuang Yongyuan didn't come over to look. He just slung over his canvas bag and said, "Teacher Xie, take your time with it. I have something to do, so I'll leave first."
"Wait a minute." Xie Kang stopped him and said, "Want to eat together?"
"Teacher Xie, please eat by yourself. I have something else to do."
"Eat first even if you have something to do."
"I have something urgent to do," Zhuang Yongyuan said nonchalantly. "I've got an order and need to go deliver food."
After he finished speaking, he left, leaving Xie Kang sitting alone in the classroom. He watched him disappear at the end of the corridor and sighed.
Having met Zhuang Yongyuan several times, Xie Kang had to admit that six years had turned him into a stranger. He no longer understood him as well as he once did. He couldn't guess what he was thinking, nor could he fathom his every move.
But Zhuang Yongyuan is now in the same city as him.
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