Chapter 26 26. Convince Me
At this year's New Year's Eve party, Zhuang Yongyuan's class had their turn sitting in the front row. After school, everyone moved their chairs to the playground, where they now sit to watch the show.
Zhuang Yongyuan sat at the side. He had no interest in the party, and he didn't want to see the suit-clad host, Xie Kang. The wind was strong, but strangely, the students around him didn't seem to mind the cold at all. They were still chatting excitedly and darting around in the narrow aisle.
He vaguely heard some people discussing what Xie Kang would perform this year. Last year he performed a solo, and the next day many people confessed their love to him.
Zhuang Yongyuan was poked, and someone in the darkness asked him, "Do you know what Xie Kang is performing this year?"
"have no idea."
"Aren't you two familiar with each other? Yao Danna said she saw you walking together after school before."
"It's just so-so."
Zhuang Yongyuan leaned back in his chair. The lights on the stage were too bright, and Xie Kang's features were a little blurry as he stood in the glare.
The makeshift stage was shaking in the wind, and Xie Kang seemed overly formal on the stage of this makeshift troupe.
Someone got a program and everyone looked at it with flashlights, saying, "Xie Kang doesn't have a program this year. What a pity."
"The next program is Jiang Yu from Class 3 playing the saxophone. That's fine."
They stopped talking about Xie Kang and started chatting about other school stars, and Zhuang Yongyuan's thoughts returned to himself. His backpack was bulging with Xie Kang's coat. He had brought it with him, but he didn't know how to return it. It was so cold, and he considered just taking the coat out and wearing it, but he hesitated.
There was still an hour left at the party, and they weren't allowed to leave until it was over. Zhuang Yongyuan couldn't stand the cold, so he sneaked back to the classroom, dug out a novel from a drawer, and slumped over the table to read. But Xie Kang's voice kept blaring over the radio, making it impossible for him to concentrate.
After a while, one of the people playing board games nearby left for something, leaving them short of players. They asked Zhuang Yongyuan to fill in. After a moment's hesitation, Zhuang Yongyuan agreed, learning and playing at the same time, killing quite a bit of time.
Xie Kang's closing remarks were heard over the radio. He read out his speech in a serious tone: "As time passes, we bid farewell to the unforgettable year of 2009 and usher in the brand new year of 2010. In the new year, we look forward, we strive, we look forward..."
Zhuang Yongyuan wanted to laugh when he heard this, and went downstairs to bring back a chair. When he reached the playground entrance, he suddenly heard Xie Kang's breath change, and he said excitedly, "Next is the program I prepared for everyone, a guitar performance of 'Too Smart.'"
Amidst cheers and applause from the audience, Zhuang Yongyuan suddenly looked up at the stage. Xie Kang was plugging a microphone into a stand and carrying a guitar from backstage. He felt his suit jacket was too tight and in the way, so he simply took it off and tossed it to the ground, leaving him with only a thin white shirt that puffed up in the wind.
All the other lights on the stage went out, leaving only a beam of warm yellow light enveloping him. He plucked a few strings and played the prelude.
In Zhuang Yongyuan's opinion, Xie Kang's technique was still very clumsy, his chord changes were slow and sluggish, and his lyrics were out of beat several times. He was also very brave, as he dared to perform on stage with only a mediocre skill.
His mouth opened and closed in the light as he sang, "I'm just afraid of burying my true feelings with my own hands."
As Xie Kang was singing, he suddenly pressed the strings of his guitar and stopped the performance, and the stage fell into a brief silence.
He picked up the microphone and said, "I learned to play guitar from a very important friend. He and I both love this song, but I did something that made him unhappy. I want to use this performance to say sorry to him. There were some things I didn't think clearly about at the time."
He blinked, looked at the audience and continued, "If you are willing to accept my apology, can you come up and perform with me? It's okay if you don't want to. I've practiced for a long time and can sing the whole song."
Xie Kang's breathing rate increased noticeably. He looked for someone in the audience with wide eyes, pursed his lips, and the faint smile on his face was gone. The audience was in an uproar and full of discussion.
He couldn't find Zhuang Yongyuan. People kept leaving one by one. When did Zhuang Yongyuan leave? It was too dark under the stage, so he couldn't see.
Zhuang Yongyuan certainly had no obligation to accept, and Xie Kang knew this, but he couldn't help feeling disappointed. He put his hand back on the strings when suddenly a hand reached out and grasped the neck of his guitar.
Zhuang Yongyuan was wearing his coat, his hair a little messy from the wind. He whispered, "Give it to me."
Xie Kang didn't have time to question where Zhuang Yongyuan had come from. He took off his guitar and handed it to Zhuang Yongyuan. He still had a lot to say to Zhuang Yongyuan, words other than "I'm sorry," and names other than "friend," which he couldn't say publicly. He handed it to him along with the guitar.
Zhuang Yongyuan received it and started playing the piano. The two of them squeezed together in the beam of light shining from above.
He played very well and was not at all awkward on stage for the first time. Xie Kang turned to look at him and felt that no one in the world was more suitable to stand there than him. He deserved all the cheers and applause.
Zhuang Yongyuan started playing from the beginning, and Xie Kang started singing from the beginning. When he was playing and singing, he was in a hurry and had to distract himself to keep the beat. But when Zhuang Yongyuan played the piano, things became very simple. He didn't have to use his brain, he just had to trust him and follow him.
The song was too short, and soon they bowed side by side, taking their bows to the audience. The lights on the stage dimmed, and the audience gradually left, carrying their chairs. Xie Kang picked up his suit jacket from the floor, draped it casually over his shoulders, and asked Zhuang Yongyuan, "I rode my motorcycle here today. Shall we go to the beach for New Year's Eve?"
Before Zhuang Yongyuan could reply, he added, "It's snowing on the mountain. They say the snow on the mountaintop is the most beautiful when viewed from the seaside."
Zhuang Yongyuan tilted his head, thought for a moment, and said, "Okay."
It will take a long time for the Pingnan sea area to be built into a resort hotel or host a music festival in the future. Now it is still a deserted, dirty beach, and not many people come here to celebrate the New Year.
Xie Kang laid out some newspapers to separate the sea sand mixed with broken shells and marine debris.
They sat with their backs to the sea, the moonlight illuminating the thin, grayish-white snow atop the distant Nanfeng peak. Today was a once-in-a-decade snow day in Pingnan. The night mountains weighed heavily on the tall and low buildings of Pingnan, including Xie Kang and Zhuang Yongyuan's home, which now seemed distant and unfamiliar.
The sea breeze was cold, and the two of them sat very close to each other, and could vaguely hear each other's breathing in the sound of the tide.
"I didn't see your show on the program list," said Zhuang Yongyuan.
Xie Kang blew air into his palm and said, "It was added last minute the day before yesterday. I begged the teacher for a long time before she agreed."
They didn't speak for a long time. After a while, Zhuang Yongyuan glanced to the right and saw Xie Kang's face turned towards him, his eyelashes trembling slightly.
He patted Xie Kang's arm and said, "Why are you peeking at me?"
Xie Kang smiled foolishly and said, "You're not angry anymore?"
"I've never been angry."
"Then why are you ignoring me?"
Zhuang Yongyuan didn't answer. In the distance, someone was setting off small fireworks. With a whoosh, a beam of white light shot up into the sky. Xie Kang walked over, wanting to buy some fireworks from them. His footsteps left two sets of footprints, shallow and widely spaced. He walked briskly.
He came back quickly, disrupting his original footprints, holding a handful of firework sticks in his hand, and gave half to Zhuang Yongyuan.
They set off fireworks together. Whoever finished first would draw a new one and ask the other person for more. Sparks flew, and Zhuang Yongyuan said, "Xu Zhen said the other day that we could form a band."
"Is there a share for me?"
"Of course."
Xie Kang's back of the hand bumped into Zhuang Yongyuan subtly. He said, "Now that we're a band, we have to keep performing together. You'll never be able to get rid of me."
Under the fireworks, Xie Kang's face was sometimes bright and sometimes dark. Zhuang Yongyuan stopped setting off the fireworks and asked Xie Kang, "Can I really do this?"
"If you can't sing, who else can?" He thought for a moment, then added, "Even if you don't want to sing or can't sing sometimes, I will be by your side until you get better."
"Really?" Zhuang Yongyuan asked him back.
"Really..." Xie Kang looked him straight in the eye and said seriously, "Because you are the best and most powerful person in all of Pingnan. Now I feel that my life before I met you was so boring. I really don't know how I ever got through it."
He saw the doubt in Zhuang Yongyuan's eyes and added, "At first, I didn't think it through clearly. I had never considered these things before, and I was very scared."
"Then why aren't you afraid now?"
"Because it's even scarier if you ignore me."
Zhuang Yongyuan wondered how there could be a person like Xie Kang. Xie Kang just said these words that even made him feel embarrassed to listen to them.
Xie Kang suddenly said, "Do you know you're laughing? Hey, why do you stop laughing when I say that?"
He reached out and pulled up the corner of Zhuang Yongyuan's mouth, giving him a wide grin. It was so close that Zhuang Yongyuan felt the ground shaking. The rising tide flooded in, bringing foam and soaking the newspaper they were sitting on.
Xie Kang returned to where they had parked their motorcycles, carried his guitar over, and handed it to Zhuang Yongyuan. He sang whatever Zhuang Yongyuan played. Slowly, the few people on the beach moved closer to them, occasionally whistling and cheering.
No one noticed the time. When colorful fireworks rose above the city below the mountain, Xie Kang and Zhuang Yongyuan realized that it was already 2010. Everyone was looking up at the fireworks. Xie Kang took the opportunity to shake Zhuang Yongyuan's hand and said, "Let's speak our minds from now on. If we do, there will be no misunderstandings."
"Then say a few words to me first." Zhuang Yongyuan scratched his palm and said.
Xie Kang was tickled by him and couldn't help laughing. Zhuang Yongyuan asked him what he was laughing at. He laughed too, lowered his head to slow down, then looked up and saw Xie Kang laughing again. When the fireworks stopped and the city returned to silence, Xie Kang said, "I stood downstairs of your house and listened to you play the piano for several months. I went to the piano store to learn piano on purpose because I wanted to find you."
Zhuang Yongyuan was surprised and said, "No wonder the appliance repairman across the street told my dad to be careful recently because strangers are always staring at my house!"
"Do I look like a criminal suspect?" Xie Kang curled his lips in dissatisfaction.
Zhuang Yongyuan came to his senses and said, "Why should I listen? I often play the piano wrong when I practice."
"Of course it's because..." Xie Kang cleared his throat, his forehead almost touching Zhuang Yongyuan's bangs: "I really like your playing the piano and singing, I really, I really..."
He paused, and seeing a flicker of disappointment in Zhuang Yongyuan's eyes, he quickly grasped his hand tighter, saying word by word, "I like you very much. It's different from liking a friend or a song."
Xie Kang felt his face heat up after he finished speaking, and he tilted his head back to let the cold sea breeze blow over him. Zhuang Yongyuan had remained silent. He nervously and unconvincedly shook Zhuang Yongyuan's shoulder and said, "You want to say something too?"
Zhuang Yongyuan looked out at the sea. The once quiet beach had inexplicably become boisterous, the wind and the waves clamoring indistinctly. He thought about Xie Kang's words. He didn't quite understand them, or perhaps he didn't want to understand them. It was like the bag of toffee Xie Kang had given him. He still had one piece left. If he took his time, it would last longer.
Xie Kang was very anxious and kept urging him. Zhuang Yongyuan had no choice but to say, "Because of you, I don't hate Pingnan so much now."
Xie Kang laughed out loud and asked, "Anything else?"
He looked as if he could support Zhuang Yongyuan in everything he said and did. For the first time since he grew up, Zhuang Yongyuan blurted out a true word without second thought.
He said to Xie Kang, "There's a coat of yours in my closet."
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This chapter is one of my favorites! But I had a cold for a few days, so I felt dizzy while writing. (By the way, do I need to mark the timeline switches? Will it be a little difficult to read?)
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