Chapter 31: Living Uncomfortably in the Sea
After being recognized, Zhuang Yongyuan uncomfortably touched his removed earrings. Xie Kang answered for him, "Yes, do you want a photo?"
"Oh, is it okay?" The two music fans became excited. Zhuang Yongyuan glanced at Xie Kang and nodded helplessly.
Xie Kang said to the fans: "I am his agent, let me take pictures for you."
"Is that okay? Thank you!"
Xie Kang took the phone from one of the fans, pointed the camera at them, and counted down: "Three, two, one——", then pressed the shutter button. He looked with satisfaction at Zhuang Yongyuan's expression as the countdown went on, from staring at him dissatisfiedly to smiling friendlyly when taking photos with the fans.
After taking the photo, Zhuang Yongyuan reminded them, "Don't post it online."
"Okay." The two fans hesitated for a moment, then said to Zhuang Yongyuan, "Can you tell us how long Lily Heart will be on hiatus?"
"I don't know either." Zhuang Yongyuan shook his head.
Xie Kang said with a smile, "We will post the news on Weibo as soon as we have it."
"Okay. Um...about what happened a while ago, everyone in our fan group believed in you and helped Lily Heart clarify the matter online. Don't let it affect you too much. Your music is really great! It has helped us many times..." The two fans spoke a lot in one breath, their voices getting smaller and smaller. Without waiting for Zhuang Yongyuan to answer, they hurriedly thanked him and ran away.
Zhuang Yongyuan looked at their backs for a moment, then said to Xie Kang in a stern voice, "Why are you pretending to be Lily's manager?"
Xie Kang ignored him, brought over two prepared drinks, handed one to Zhuang Yongyuan, and took a sip of the grass jelly and chewed the taro balls.
Zhuang Yongyuan took a sip of winter melon tea and said, "It tastes different from before."
"You used to make it with powdered milk, but now you're not used to it when I brew it fresh every day?" Xie Kang glanced at Zhuang Yongyuan and said, "Would you like to wear sunglasses and a mask when we go out next time?"
"You should prepare one for yourself too. If anyone suspects we're celebrities, I'll just say we're the Chopstick Brothers."
They chatted and laughed as they walked along Wuhe Road, which became increasingly deserted. All the roadside shops were closed, with only a 24-hour convenience store still open.
When passing by a convenience store, they slowed down their pace tacitly, looked at each other, and walked in together.
Condoms were placed next to the cashier. Zhuang Yongyuan casually took out a few boxes and paid for them quickly. However, Xie Kang was still pacing around the store. Zhuang Yongyuan shouted impatiently, "What are you buying? Are you ready?"
"Here I come." Xie Kang came out with a bunch of snacks and drinks, carrying a large bag. As soon as he walked out of the convenience store, Zhuang Yongyuan complained to him: "How old are you? Can you buy so many snacks in a convenience store?"
"Food, drink, man, woman, oh, we are food, man, woman, man, it is the greatest desire of human beings."
"I don't understand why you are so happy." Zhuang Yongyuan hung the bag of condoms on his arm and walked home with his arms folded.
As soon as he got home, Zhuang Yongyuan saw the messy footprints he had just left on the ground. He coughed a few times and said, "Let's go upstairs."
"Take a shower first."
"You are quite patient and can accomplish great things."
Zhuang Yongyuan walked upstairs as he spoke, the wooden stairs creaking under his feet. Xie Kang said from downstairs, "Why don't we replace the staircase? This one's been in disrepair for a long time. What if it collapses?"
"Then keep it to test whether my life is strong enough." Zhuang Yongyuan's voice came from upstairs.
Xie Kang said nothing, cautiously going upstairs and waiting by the bathroom door. The furnishings here were different from his last visit. There were more cabinets and tables, and cigarettes and alcohol were scattered everywhere, unopened, half-smoked, and half-drunk. There were no guitars, no instruments, no effects pedals, not even a computer.
He listened to the sound of water in the bathroom and knocked on the door a few times.
Zhuang Yongyuan's voice was unclear: "I didn't lock the door."
Xie Kang turned the knob, opened the door, and stepped into a pool of steaming water. Zhuang Yongyuan, showering with his back to him, said, "So urgent?"
"Just wanted to see you."
Zhuang Yongyuan paused as he applied the shower gel. Xie Kang was right behind him, but he didn't feel uncomfortable at all. They had showered together often in college.
The vague strange feeling in his lower body reminded Zhuang Yongyuan of what had happened between him and Xie Kang not long ago. It had just happened, naturally.
He should have hated Xie Kang, hated that Xie Kang had taken him away from Pingnan and Zhuangfu and then abandoned him, but he didn't know how to hate him, even resuming their physical relationship so casually.
Zhuang Yongyuan kept telling himself that it was just his body, just a physiological need, and that it meant nothing. As if to verify this, he hurriedly washed off the cloyingly fragrant bubbles on his body, walked through the steam, walked up to Xie Kang, rubbed against him, and said, "What are you waiting for?"
It was past three in the morning, and the world inside and outside the wooden-framed window was completely silent. Zhuang Yongyuan panted, reaching out a trembling hand and flicking on the bedside lamp, illuminating the mess in the room. The sheets were tangled in a ball, and the floor was strewn with quilts, pillows, and clothes. His heart skipped a beat, then inexplicably began to sink.
Xie Kang put on his coat, stood up, and opened the window. When he smelled the night breeze outside, the scent of lust in the room became even more pronounced. His face flushed, and he felt a little ashamed.
It was too indulgent; they had never been like this before. Zhuang Yongyuan seemed nonchalant, leaning against the headboard, staring out the window in a daze, and lighting a cigarette.
Xie Kang suddenly wondered if Zhuang Yongyuan had gotten used to this pattern because of the others. He tried to recall Zhuang Yongyuan's demeanor and actions just now, trying to find the difference from six years ago.
If so, who made him develop this habit? How much does he love the other person? Do they go to McDonald's together and eat French fries with ice cream?
Zhuang Yongyuan might say to others with a smile, "I'll teach you a unique way to eat it."
This unbearable thought was like a fishbone stuck in my throat, neither going up nor down. Even though I was not qualified, I still felt unwilling to accept it.
At daybreak, Xie Kang still couldn't sleep. Zhuang Yongyuan tossed and turned beside him. He simply tried to ask Zhuang Yongyuan: "Are you asleep?"
"Not yet." Zhuang Yongyuan got out of bed. There was a sound of glass colliding outside. After a while, Zhuang Yongyuan came back with a glass of water.
The clear liquid in the water glass gave off a strong smell of alcohol. Zhuang Yongyuan sat on the bed and drank it in big gulps. He caught a glimpse of Xie Kang looking at him and asked Xie Kang, "Do you want some?"
"You've had too much to drink."
"You're meddling too much."
"You couldn't sleep well?"
"Don't bother me." Zhuang Yongyuan drank the rest of the wine angrily, put the glass heavily on the bedside table, and smoked one cigarette after another. The ashtray was soon filled with cigarette butts.
There were occasional bird calls outside. Zhuang Yongyuan suddenly turned around, nudged Xie Kang, and said, "You go."
Xie Kang rubbed his eyes: "What?"
Zhuang Yongyuan curled his lips impatiently and said, "I told you to leave. Don't be here. I don't want to see you now."
"How are you?"
Zhuang Yongyuan yelled, "I told you to leave, can't you hear me?"
His eyes widened, his whole body trembled, and the muscles at the corners of his mouth twitched. Xie Kang was startled, but he didn't dare to delay. However, Zhuang Yongyuan seemed to think that he was getting dressed too slowly. He picked up the glass and smashed it on the ground. Then he walked around the room, rubbing his temples, and urged Xie Kang to leave.
Zhuang Yongyuan let out a long sigh when he heard the sound of a door closing downstairs. He took a broom and a dustpan, swept up the broken glass on the ground, put it into a garbage bag, and whispered an apology to the broken wine glass in the garbage bag.
The person he had been five minutes ago had become a stranger again. Zhuang Yongyuan lay in bed, no longer able to move a finger. Not long ago, he had been screaming out in pleasure on this very bed, the pure physical pleasure washing over him like a tide, over and over again. For a while, he truly forgot everything, his eyes fixed on Xie Kang.
He looked like a monster, a madman, and also like the Zhuang Fu in his memory. He wanted to cry like Xie Kang did, but he lay there for a long time, and his eyes felt dry.
Xie Kang still left, even though he had driven him away himself. The truth was that he was even worse than he was six years ago. At least back then, he would feel happy seeing Xie Kang and often felt that the future was full of hope.
Zhuang Yongyuan also had a dream, but when he woke up at around ten o'clock in the morning, he had almost forgotten everything. He only remembered that he was standing on the stage and there were many blurry faces.
He tidied up the room briefly, threw the sheets into the washing machine, stretched by the window, carried the trash downstairs, and turned back suddenly when he reached the door.
Xie Kang was asleep, legs curled up, coat draped over him, in a swivel chair in his former barbershop. Morning light streamed through the window onto his face, and his eyes moved restlessly. Zhuang Yongyuan stared at a shadowy patch of his face, where the hairs on his skin trembled softly and moistly with his breathing.
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