Chapter 46 46. Signal cannot be transmitted
After Xie Kang asked this question, he looked at Zhuang Yongyuan intently, demanding his answer.
Zhuang Yongyuan dodged his gaze a few times and said vaguely, "Actually, watching the falling yin is just a psychological suggestion..."
Xie Kang reached out and grabbed a handful of air: "He hasn't left yet, he's here, he hates me."
"Why should I hate you?"
"If I hadn't arrived earlier and hadn't noticed the USB drive in my pocket earlier, I wouldn't have been able to do it even if he wanted us to continue playing in the band," Xie Kang said seriously.
Zhuang Yongyuan took a deep breath and looked up. The dark clouds and darkness were pressing down heavily.
Although it was useless, he still tried to persuade Xie Kang: "Li Xiuyu is upset because his parents sent him to a martial arts school. It has nothing to do with you."
Xie Kang fell silent. He straightened out the messy hair on Xie Kang's head and asked, "You never told me you saw it."
"I forgot, really."
"And then? Did you call the police?"
"Let me think about it. I'll think about it carefully." Xie Kang lowered his head to look at Zhuang Yongyuan's legs. He knew the shape of those legs under the loose striped trousers very well. He was very familiar with it. He really wanted to know whether the area between his legs was closer to Zhuang Yongyuan's heart than his ears and eyes. Otherwise, why was he feeling hot all over now? All he could think about in his mind were things that were not presentable, vulgar, erotic, and had nothing to do with creation or any thoughts that transcended himself and the past.
Was he trying to get closer to Zhuang Yongyuan, or was he trying to fool himself? Could a wave of physical energy really take something away?
He resented Zhuang Yongyuan. Why couldn't he understand him a little better? Why couldn't he just obey and cooperate with him? Why did he have to dig into the past? What happened afterwards? Did it matter to them, two adults approaching their thirties?
Zhuang Yongyuan pinched his earring and wiped it lightly.
"I ran away," Xie Kang said. "I didn't call the police. I squatted down and hugged Li Xiuyu. If I didn't say his last words now, it would be too late. He must have had a lot to say, but he couldn't."
"More and more people gathered around. The blood on the ground dries quickly in summer and smells a bit disgusting. His parents rushed back, and as soon as I saw them, I let go of Li Xiuyu and ran away."
"Didn't his parents chase you?"
"Maybe they did, but the ambulance and..." Xie Kang paused, a peach pit stuck in his throat. "The ambulance and the funeral car came, and they couldn't take care of me."
"Then what?"
Xie Kang kicked Zhuang Yongyuan and said, "I think I'm starting to hate you."
"That's great. This way, when I leave, we can part ways on good terms."
Xie Kang ignored the topic and closed his eyes. It was that scorching afternoon again, and the sky and earth were bright. The smell of blood on his body became stronger and stronger. The moment the door was opened, he almost knelt in front of his family and cried.
No matter how his family asked, Xie Kang said nothing. Someone helped him take off his bloody clothes. He took a shower and lay down on the bed. He didn't fall asleep, but he wasn't conscious either. It didn't seem like he had heatstroke, but rather he was possessed by evil spirits. After lying there for a while, he remembered that he had to call Zhuang Yongyuan to tell him about this and tell him that Li Xiuyu had died, committing suicide.
Zhuang Yongyuan didn't have cell phones back then. He called the grocery store across from his house, and the owner yelled for him to come down and answer the phone. Someone was looking for him urgently. The night before, they'd been camping, spending the night in the wild. It was hot, tiring, and exciting. No one had slept well, and Zhuang Yongyuan sounded sleepy. He yawned before answering the phone.
He never saw the clothes he wore that day again: a black T-shirt and khaki shorts.
According to Pingnan customs, untimely death is the worst of all bad luck, and things related to the deceased must be disposed of as soon as possible. The blood-stained clothes were probably taken to the downstairs of Li Xiuyu's house and burned.
The USB flash drive seemed to be in his pocket, but Xie Kang couldn't find it anyway.
It's not known who told him, perhaps a mutual acquaintance, or perhaps his parents. On the seventh day after Li Xiuyu's death, the community held a ceremony, with every household inserting willow branches at their doorsteps and performing rituals in the middle of the night.
It was only later that Xie Kang looked it up online and inquired with the old teacher in the Chinese language department, and learned that this ceremony was called "exorcism." It was intended to drive Li Xiuyu's restless soul back to where it belonged. Even when Li Xiuyu won the top spot in the city's high school entrance exam, the property management of the residential complex hung a banner to congratulate him and promoted themselves as the top-ranked property developer. However, he was still disliked after his death.
Perhaps because Xie Kang was not invited to the exorcism ceremony, Li Xiuyu was unable to leave his side. He was not the executioner, but he felt guilty about Li Xiuyu's death and could not escape blame.
Xie Kang only now realized how good his memory was. The breeze and the leaf that afternoon were all so clear in his mind.
Zhuang Yongyuan, a beast in human form, refused to let him go and asked him in a sinister tone, "Besides Li Xiuyu, did you see anything else?"
Xie Kang pushed him aside and said, "I'm very sleepy. I feel dizzy and have a headache. I want to sleep."
Zhuang Yongyuan wanted to say something, but Xie Kang simply closed his eyes and could neither hear nor see anything.
When he woke up again, it wasn't naturally, but Zhuang Yongyuan who pushed him awake. Xie Kang opened his eyes and looked at Zhuang Yongyuan with a resentful look: "How can you take care of a patient like this?"
Zhuang Yongyuan argued, "I only called you because it was urgent. I had agreed to help someone haul some goods today, but I turned it down."
"What's the emergency?" Xie Kang sat up and asked nervously, "My parents are looking for me?"
"It has nothing to do with your parents." Zhuang Yongyuan's eyes were teasing. "It was Du Jiahao. He just called me."
"Why would he come to you?" Xie Kang asked doubtfully, his mind racing as he asked dazedly, "Did Li Xiuyu really appear?"
Zhuang Yongyuan looked helpless: "You wouldn't fall like that and fill your head with supernatural thoughts. Would you convert to Buddhism in the future?"
"Then why did he look for you?"
Zhuang Yongyuan sat up straight, rubbing the two fingers holding the cigarette together. "He met Xu Zhen. Xu Zhen, her husband, children and family returned to Pingnan for a visit. They went to his restaurant for dinner. It happened last night."
"Did Du Jiahao meet Xu Zhen? Or did he see it on the surveillance camera?"
"We met face to face in the store."
"What a coincidence! Du Jiahao runs this restaurant like he's waiting for the right thing to happen. Whether it's a wealthy woman or a band star, as long as they're from Pingnan, he'll bump into them."
Zhuang Yongyuan burst out laughing, then said, "Xu Zhen said he wanted the five of us to get together, and asked if you and I were free tonight."
"Does she know you've returned to Pingnan?"
"I guess Du Jiahao told her." Zhuang Yongyuan patted Xie Kang and asked him, "Are you going?"
"Do you want to go?"
"It's up to you. If you want to go, I'll go."
Xie Kang took a sip of water from the hospital's water dispenser. The more he drank, the thirstier he became. He drank cup after cup before saying, "Go ahead. She used to take good care of us."
"Okay, I'll do as you say." Zhuang Yongyuan went to get Xie Kang some water and came back saying, "Then I'll get you discharged."
It was a rare occasion that Zhuang Yongyuan drove on the way to the restaurant. Xie Kang saw that he was not very familiar with starting the engine and shifting gears, and asked vigilantly, "Do you usually drive?" "No," Zhuang Yongyuan answered bluntly.
Xie Kang thought for a moment, then asked cautiously, "I remember you didn't get a driver's license in college. Did you get one in the last few years?"
“No test either.”
The car was already on the road. Xie Kang was so frightened that he sat up straight: "Then how can you drive?"
"Watching you drive every day, even a fool would learn how to drive." Zhuang Yongyuan didn't care at all, his eyes wandering as he looked at the road ahead.
Xie Kang stared at his hand gripping the steering wheel and said, "Shall I drive?"
"No, you have a concussion. What if you faint while driving?" He glanced at Xie Kang and said, "Don't worry, I value my life more than you do. I've bought insurance worth hundreds of thousands of dollars."
Xie Kang fell silent, and Zhuang Yongyuan asked him again, "Do you know who I listed as the beneficiary of my insurance?"
"Fill it in for your mother." Xie Kang answered absentmindedly, all his attention was on the road in front of him.
Zhuang Yongyuan continued nonchalantly, "You know that insurance isn't effective for suicide? But it's effective for traffic accidents."
As soon as he finished speaking, Zhuang Yongyuan saw through the rearview mirror that Xie Kang's face turned pale. He stuck out his tongue, concentrated on driving, and drove the car steadily all the way to Du Jiahao's restaurant. He got out of the car and took pictures of the car that was parked neatly with satisfaction.
Du Jiahao arranged for the gathering to take place in a private room on the second floor. Because the restaurant was geared towards young people, the private room wasn't a proper enclosed room, but rather a space partitioned off in the corner.
Behind the yellow frosted glass partition, two blurry figures sat diagonally across from each other. Xie Kang and Zhuang Yongyuan looked at the two figures but didn't go in directly. Zhuang Yongyuan leaned on the stair railing and stared at Xie Kang for a while.
Xie Kang touched the back of his hand and said, "Shall we go in? We're already almost half an hour late."
Zhuang Yongyuan frowned quickly, then nodded and followed Xie Kang into the box.
If Du Jiahao hadn't been sitting next to him, Zhuang Yongyuan wouldn't have recognized Xu Zhen if they met on the road.
When Xu Zhen was in her twenties, pencil pants and tight suspenders were popular. In order to look good in clothes, she made herself skinny. With red hair, colorful eye makeup, and thick black eyeliner, she was a typical example of a rebellious millennial girl. Now she is dressed in well-cut, earth-toned designer clothes, and her makeup and hairstyle are elegant and capable. Her face has changed accordingly. Her temperament is no longer overbearing, but one can tell at a glance that she does not belong to the same class as most people on the street. Only the golden one-eyed necklace hanging around her neck retains some of her previous playful look.
When Xu Zhen saw Zhuang Yongyuan and Xie Kang, his eyes lit up and he pointed to the empty seats in front of him and asked them to sit down.
Zhuang Yongyuan pulled out a dining chair, its legs scraping against the old red brick floor with a dull, grinding sound. After he and Xie Kang sat down side by side, a deep silence fell over the box. The four of them stared at each other, no one speaking, just sizing each other up.
It was quiet for who knows how long, and finally Xu Zhen was the first to break the silence in the box: "Oh..."
She unconsciously turned the wedding ring on her middle finger and said, "I thought of a lot of things to tell you during the day, but I don't know why, but now that we're actually meeting, I can't say them at all."
“Isn’t there a saying that goes ‘homesickness’?” Xie Kang picked up the green mango slices on the table.
Xu Zhen smiled, and a bit of his old self reappeared: "Xiao Xie is indeed worthy of being a teacher."
Zhuang Yongyuan scoffed, "He's not a Chinese teacher."
Zhuang Yongyuan and Xu Zhen's eyes had met several times just now. Each time, Zhuang Yongyuan turned his head away, pretending to look at the painting on the wall. This time, he didn't hide, but met Xu Zhen's scrutiny openly. For some reason, they both laughed inexplicably.
The atmosphere in the private room relaxed as they started laughing. Xie Kang leaned back in his chair and smoked. Du Jiahao poured tea for everyone, pointing to a QR code on the corner of the table and saying, "You can order whatever you want." Xu Zhen asked everyone, "Do you want to see my child?"
Before anyone could ridicule her, she added, "Let me be clear, I didn't become like this just because I became a mother. I've always loved children."
Du Jiahao said: "Boy or girl?"
"Girls, girls. I'm just afraid it'll be a boy. I've met too many gay men. I don't want to give birth to a little gay boy."
"Are you discriminating?" Xie Kang raised his chin and said dissatisfiedly.
"You are too sensitive. I'm afraid that if I say something unintentionally, it will become a lifelong psychological trauma for the child." Xu Zhen turned the phone around to show everyone a little girl with rosy cheeks on the screen. The girl was wearing denim overalls and was squatting to shovel the soil in the garden. She was too busy to glance at the camera.
Zhuang Yongyuan touched his chin and said, "Isn't it very similar to you?"
"Like her father." Xu Zhen's eyes softened when she mentioned her husband.
Du Jiahao asked her, "Is your husband still in Pingnan?"
"I asked him to go back with the child first." Xu Zhen looked at Zhuang Yongyuan again and said, "Don't look at me like that. I said before that I didn't want to get married, but people's minds change."
"You think too much. I didn't mean that." Zhuang Yongyuan defended.
Xu Zhen curled his lips: "Come on, I have taught you for several years, I know what you are thinking at a glance."
Zhuang Yongyuan laughed and said, "Then take a look at what I'm thinking now?"
Xu Zhen sat awkwardly, crossing her legs under her tweed skirt, holding her chin and saying, "Are you waiting for me to praise you?"
Without waiting for Zhuang Yongyuan to answer, she continued, "I haven't seen you perform live, but I've bought several CDs and LPs. You're really well-made, but it's nothing to be surprised about. Anyway, I felt you had the talent when you were a teenager. Back then, you thought I was comforting you."
Zhuang Yongyuan's face turned red visibly, all the way to his neck. Xie Kang touched his face with the back of his hand, and his skin also felt hot.
"Not really?" He looked at Zhuang Yongyuan in confusion.
Zhuang Yongyuan turned his head again and said, "That's it. That album isn't that great. Can't a professional like you hear any problems?"
"I'm a professional pianist, not a professional producer. How come you haven't figured this out after all this time?" Xu Zhen retorted.
Zhuang Yongyuan snorted, and Du Jiahao stood up again to refill their cups of tea. The box inexplicably fell silent again, and this time it was Du Jiahao who broke the silence.
"Boss Xu, we haven't seen each other since Li Xiuyu died, right?" He looked around the box. "This is also the first time we've been together since Li Xiuyu's death."
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