Chapter 55: Karma
Xie Kang still didn't answer. He waited until he was tired of holding Zhuang Yongyuan before letting him go upstairs. While Zhuang Yongyuan was taking a shower, he simply cleaned up the empty wine bottles upstairs, then went out to the intersection with the garbage bag to throw away the garbage. When he came back, he happened to meet Zhuang Yongyuan wrapped in a bath towel walking towards the room.
Zhuang Yongyuan waved at him, untied the bath towel on the bed, and waited for a while. However, Xie Kang did not follow the usual practice. He lay quietly beside him, closed his eyes as if he was asleep, and breathed evenly.
Zhuang Yongyuan impatiently pushed him a few times, and Xie Kang finally opened his eyes. Zhuang Yongyuan stared at him with wide eyes and asked, "What are you doing?"
Xie Kang understood exactly what he needed right now, but Zhuang Yongyuan had just pointed out downstairs the anxiety that he himself didn't want to admit. Xie Kang felt uncomfortable, like there was something stuck in his throat that he couldn't spit out, let alone swallow. He couldn't help but tease Zhuang Yongyuan nastily, blinking and saying doubtfully, "I need to sleep. I didn't sleep well last night. I'm so sleepy."
Zhuang Yongyuan looked at him in disbelief. Since college, it was always Xie Kang who took the initiative in this matter. He was the only one who had bad intentions from time to time and deliberately teased Xie Kang, but he never asked for anything from Xie Kang.
Xie Kang tilted his head and closed his eyes again. Zhuang Yongyuan pushed him anxiously. Xie Kang rubbed his eyes and asked him with a puzzled look on his face, "What's wrong with you?"
Seeing Zhuang Yongyuan's face flushed with anxiety, Xie Kang felt even more proud and continued, "Why are you looking at me like that? What do you want from me? Tell me."
Zhuang Yongyuan's expression was full of disbelief. Then he gritted his teeth and made up his mind. He grabbed the pajamas on the bedside and put them on roughly. He turned around without saying a word, as if he had fallen asleep.
Xie Kang tossed and turned in bed for a while, then reached under the quilt to touch the buttons of Zhuang Yongyuan's pajamas, and said as he unbuttoned them, "You've buttoned them all wrong."
Zhuang Yongyuan hid for a moment before succumbing to his instincts and cooperating with Xie Kang's actions. As his excitement peaked and began to wane, he said to Xie Kang absentmindedly, "Why are you still the same as before?"
Xie Kang really had no strength left now, his limp body kept sinking. He heard what Zhuang Yongyuan said, but it felt so light and he couldn't tell whether it was reality or a dream.
The clear sound of birdsong suddenly rang out, and Xie Kang vaguely thought he was in the early morning of a camping trip. It was only after Zhuang Yongyuan pushed him several times that he realized that it was his alarm clock.
Zhuang Yongyuan pushed him and complained, "What a lousy alarm clock! You were sleeping soundly, and you woke me up."
He opened his eyes a crack and saw the bright daylight outside the curtains. He was startled and threw back the quilt and sat up in bed: "What time is it? We slept all day?!"
Xie Kang pushed him back and said, “No, you go back to sleep. It’s still Sunday, and I have to go to school to help Shen Xifu’s band rehearse.”
"I'll go home after school. I'm not coming here. Today is the winter solstice and we have a family dinner."
When Zhuang Yongyuan heard that it was still Sunday, he lay down and continued to sleep.
Xie Kang took a quick shower, changed his clothes, and hailed a taxi using an app. When he was about to leave, he looked back and saw Zhuang Yongyuan sleeping soundly. He couldn't help but bend down and kiss him, then lay down beside him and touch him. Zhuang Yongyuan was sleeping so soundly, which was rare. He didn't react at all, and let him play with him obediently like a rag doll.
The afternoon with the curtains drawn was just like when they lived together in college. Xie Kang was reading a book on the sofa, waiting to wake up Zhuang Yongyuan in the evening so they could go to the venue to prepare for the performance.
It was rare for Xie Kang not to count down the days until Zhuang Yongyuan left. Half an hour later, contentedly drinking coffee, he climbed to the top floor of the No. 1 Middle School Science and Technology Building and pushed the door open to walk into the rehearsal room.
Shen Xifu was the only one in the rehearsal room, sitting on the floor playing with her phone.
When she heard someone come in, she raised her head and greeted them, her voice sounding a little depressed: "Hello, Teacher Xie. By the way, my grandma asked me to ask you, are you okay?"
Xie Kang's face flushed, remembering the time he ran into Shen Xifu when he and Zhuang Yongyuan were watching Luoyin. He felt that he had lost some of his dignity as a teacher in front of her, and said, "I'm fine, let your grandma rest assured."
After saying that, he looked at his watch again and said, "I'm late enough, why are others even later?"
Shen Xifu pouted and said dejectedly, “They won’t come.”
Xie Kang frowned. "What do you mean? Why didn't you come? The week after next is New Year's Day, and there will be a performance."
Shen Xifu said disappointedly: “I can’t perform anymore, there are not enough people.”
"Weren't we rehearsing well last week? Why are you canceling rehearsal this week?"
"They won't be coming anyway. The band has disbanded. I'm sorry, Mr. Xie, for wasting so much of your time."
"Is it the parents who don't agree? I'll give it a try by calling them. They've already made some progress, it would be a shame to just give up."
Shen Xifu scratched her hair in annoyance and said, “It has nothing to do with the parents, anyway… they can’t come anyway.”
There are only ten days left until New Year's Day. Shen Xifu is a student. Students nowadays are under much more pressure than they were before. She can't spare much time for group practice. With one guitarist missing, Xie Kang can still fill in by himself. With only Shen Xifu left, even if Xie Kang finds someone to fill the vacant position as quickly as possible, it will be difficult for her to practice enough to go on stage within ten days.
Xie Kang felt a little unwilling for no reason and continued to ask, "If it's because Teacher Zhuang is too fierce..."
"No, it's really not." Shen Xifu denied.
Xie Kang forgot the proper distance a teacher should maintain and tried to get to the bottom of the matter, "Why is that?"
Shen Xifu glanced at him in surprise. Xie Kang felt uncomfortable being looked at by her. When he was reflecting on whether he was too aggressive, Shen Xifu said, "Teacher, do you have to know? Then can I ask you something first?"
"What's up?"
Shen Xifu hesitated for a while, and explained to Xie Kang first: “This is my secret, so I can’t tell you directly. I want to exchange secrets with you. If you don’t want to say it, you don’t have to say it.”
Xie Kang nodded, and then Shen Xifu asked, her voice was as small as a mosquito, but the content scared Xie Kang.
"Teacher Xie, what is your relationship with Teacher Zhuang? Are you...are you that kind of relationship?"
Xie Kang first went to close the door that was originally half-open and then locked it, and asked Shen Xifu nervously: "Why do you ask? Do you think it's strange that I am with Teacher Zhuang?"
Shen Xifu became impatient and said, “Teacher Xie, if you want to say it, just say it. If you don’t want to say it, it’s okay.”
Xie Kang wanted to deny it, saying that he and Zhuang Yongyuan were just familiar friends, but the words were on the tip of his tongue and he couldn't say them. Finally, he stammered, "I...I...I was with him before."
"When you took over our class, I suspected that you were not a straight man!" Shen Xifu asked with interest: "Just before? What about now?"
“It’s hard to explain now…” Xie Kang was halfway through his speech when he came to his senses again and asked Shen Xifu, “I’ve told you the truth, it’s your turn.”
However, Shen Xifu asked such a question, and considering her usual behavior, Xie Kang probably guessed what her secret was.
As expected, Ana Shen scratched her hair in annoyance and said, “It turns out that the one playing the drums is my girlfriend, no, it’s my ex-girlfriend. When she was with me, she was also ambiguous with the girl playing the keyboard!”
"She lied to me and said it was tutoring, but she was actually going to a private cinema with someone else!"
She angrily said, "I'm not playing in a band with them anymore!"
Xie Kang subconsciously leaned back after hearing this, bumping into the wall, and said, "Premature love is not good, it will affect your studies."
Shen Xifu asked suspiciously, “Aren’t you and Teacher Zhuang considered puppy love?”
Xie Kang said confidently, "So that's why it's affected me. I used to be the top scorer in the high school entrance exam and got into No. 1 Middle School, but now I'm doing so poorly."
Shen Xifu found an opportunity to peek into the past of Xie Kang and Zhuang Yongyuan. She swept away the frustration of a broken heart, her eyes shining, and asked the most important question: "Why did you and Teacher Zhuang break up? You two seem to be quite a match."
"Are we really a good match? How should I put it?" Xie Kang smiled. "When I graduated from university, I wanted to come back, and Zhuang Yongyuan wanted to stay in Shanghai, so we separated."
"You all look good."
Xie Kang was a little disappointed: "Such a superficial reason?"
"What else? How did you two fall in love in the first place?"
"Many people had a crush on me when I was in school, so it's normal for him to have a crush on me." Xie Kang said as he straightened the collar of his shirt. Shen Xifu looked at him with complicated eyes and asked, "Then why did you notice him in the first place?"
Xie Kang sat down and said, "Because he is different from others."
He thought for a moment longer and admitted, "And he is indeed very good-looking."
Although he was mixed in the crowd, in Xie Kang's eyes, Zhuang Yongyuan was like a spotlight on his head, or as if he had the kind of highlight outline in a cartoon. Xie Kang could find him in the crowd at a glance.
Time and again, I stood on Kaiping Street, downstairs of his house, trying to piece together the blurry black figure behind the window with the figure of the boy in school who always kept his head down and didn't like to talk, and prayed in my heart that it must be him.
His name was Zhuang Yongyuan. While Xie Kang was helping the teacher correct homework in the office, he took out his homework book and test paper to look at them.
At first glance, Zhuang Yongyuan's handwriting appears messy, with many connected strokes, which are not always neatly arranged in the grid. Sometimes he will make drafts in the blank spaces and often makes some careless mistakes.
At that time, Xie Kang guessed that Zhuang Yongyuan was definitely not as quiet and gentle as he looked.
For the first time, he didn't dare to take the initiative to get to know someone. This matter was obviously very simple for him, as he had several friends in Zhuang Yongyuan's class. However, he just procrastinated and only dared to go to Zhuang Yongyuan under the pretext of learning piano during the summer vacation.
In less than half a year, Zhuang Yongyuan turned him into a coward through the air.
Before Shen Xifu looked at him strangely again, Xie Kang added, “He played the piano and sang very well when he was in high school, and it felt different from what he feels now.”
Shen Xifu suddenly asked aggressively: "What's so good about Pingnan? You have to come back even if you break up?"
Xie Kang sensed something was wrong and said, "Aren't you asking too many questions?"
Shen Xifu pressed on, “Did you break up because you were caught cheating?”
"Don't put your own experience into this!" Xie Kang reminded her bluntly. Seeing her immediately reveal an expression of anger and sadness, he regretted arguing with a teenage student. He comforted her, "It's okay. You will meet many people in the future."
"Did you encounter it?"
"I'm your teacher, so please be careful when you talk to me." Xie Kang coughed seriously a few times.
Having said that, the two of them ignored their weekend and sat dejectedly in the dim and musty rehearsal room, like a pair of frustrated lovelorn couples.
Although the others were not coming, the band equipment that had been rented before was still there. Shen Xifu stared at it thoughtfully for a while and said, “Teacher Xie, I still want to finish the performance.”
She wiped away her tears and said, "I wanted her to regret not being with me after the show, but regret is useless!"
"Is your idea of playing in a band too utilitarian?"
Shen Xifu turned the topic back to Xie Kang: “Teacher Xie, don’t you regret it?”
Xie Kang pretended not to hear. He originally wanted to suggest that Shen Xifu play the accompaniment solo directly, but facing a room full of musical instruments, he felt that this was extremely boring. When he was thinking about what to do, Shen Xifu mistakenly thought that her question was too sharp and made Xie Kang speechless. She stood up guiltily, walked to Xie Kang and squatted down, handing him the remaining half pack of tissues.
Xie Kang took the tissue with a mixture of laughter and tears, playing with it in his hands, and heard Shen Xifu behaving coquettishly to himself: "Teacher Xie, can you help me? You must know other people who play in bands, right?"
"I'm only familiar with Zhuang Yongyuan right now. His appearance fee is too high. You can't afford it."
“How could I be so greedy!” Shen Xifu said angrily: “As long as I can make a noise, it’s fine. I really can’t find anyone in school.”
Before Xie Kang could refuse, she added, "Teacher Xie, if you can help me gather enough people, I'll ask my grandma to perform the "Guan Luo Yin" for you for free. You can perform it as many times as you want, every day..."
Xie Kang got goosebumps when he heard this, and thought that just once was enough for him to feel better.
However, looking at Shen Xifu's pitiful look after she had been heartbroken, Xie Kang didn't know how to reject her. After all, he was an adult, and he had more options than a teenage middle school student.
He sighed and nodded helplessly: "I'll try my best. You should also be mentally prepared for the solo."
“Can I only try my best?” Shen Xifu sniffed, “I told you all my big secrets, I thought we were good friends now…”
Xie Kang warned her: "I'm a teacher!"
He sighed again: "Okay, okay, don't be sad, I'll take care of this matter."
Shen Xifu's face immediately lit up with joy, and Xie Kang thought for no reason of the New Year's Eve when he and Zhuang Yongyuan confessed their love. That was the first time he and Zhuang Yongyuan stood on the same stage.
He missed the feeling of standing there. Even if there weren't enough people, he would still stand there himself. He wondered if Zhuang Yongyuan would come to see him then.
Xie Kang's phone rang again, and his family urged him to go back for dinner.
The winter solstice is a very important festival in Pingnan. After Xie Kang finished the call, he asked Shen Xifu, "Your family is also celebrating the winter solstice, right? I'll take you home."
Of course, Shen Xifu did not refuse a ride. After a round of coming out, her last bit of reserve in front of Xie Kang disappeared. She kept playing Lily Heart's songs loudly in the car, while tirelessly making fanatical fan remarks.
Unfortunately, there was a traffic jam on the road. Xie Kang was upset and felt that the song written by Zhuang Yongyuan was too noisy for the first time. After finally sending Shen Xifu home, Shen Xifu asked a question before getting off the car: "Teacher Xie, will you get back together with Teacher Zhuang?"
Xie Kang waved his hand irritably to send her off, and drove back home even more irritably. When he opened the door, the house was full of people. He took a deep breath, put on a skillful smile, and greeted and called everyone one by one.
The hot pot was bubbling with steam. He was the youngest adult in the circle of people. He picked up his wine glass and toasted the elders one by one, mechanically speaking polite words and humbly accepting everyone's questions and instructions.
The bitter wine washed over the roots of my teeth again and again, becoming increasingly difficult to swallow.
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