Chapter 5959. Watching the Lightning Flash
Zhuang Yongyuan opened his eyes and looked at Zhuang Fu's portrait.
The incense that Xie Kang had lit earlier had burned out, and the ashes were scattered in front of the portrait.
In his junior year, Zhuang Fu was seriously ill. According to Pingnan customs, he could no longer stay in his room and had to lie on the bed in the hall.
Several neighbors came to help. Under their instructions, Xie Kang helped Zhuang Yongyuan move the barber shop's miscellaneous items upstairs, cleared the hall on the first floor, tore down the Spring Festival couplets, and set up a bamboo bed. Zhuang Fu was sent directly to this bed to die as soon as he got out of the ambulance.
Zhuang Fu passed away in a weak and fragile manner. He stayed on the water bed for several days, watching Xie Kang follow Zhuang Yongyuan in and out.
Xie Kang didn't look like a serious guy. His hair was dyed white with a few red streaks, and he had something shiny on his eyebrows and lips. He was a hairdresser, so he knew exactly what kind of shady young men who dyed their hair were.
While Xie Kang went out to buy dinner, Zhuang Fu patted the bed with all his remaining strength, signaling Zhuang Yongyuan, who was sitting on the bench beside the bed with his back to him, to look back at him.
He asked Zhuang Yongyuan in a hoarse voice: "Who... who is he to you?"
Zhuang Yongyuan rarely lit a cigarette and blew the smoke into the face of Zhuang Fu, who was in the late stage of lung cancer, without any hesitation.
Zhuang Fu's skin was yellow and bloodless, wrinkled and his eyes were cloudy. He didn't have the strength to hide.
He smoked half a cigarette and said to Zhuang Fu, "He is my boyfriend."
Zhuang Yongyuan couldn't believe that a dying person could make such an expression, disgust, nausea, and disdain. He even raised his hand more than ten centimeters, as if he was going to slap Zhuang Yongyuan's face hard like he had done countless times in the past.
Zhuang Yongyuan did not hide, and Zhuang Fu could not lift his hands, falling weakly back onto the bed.
"You've raised a pervert, a monster, you know that?" Zhuang Yongyuan said seriously, "You didn't teach me well. He treated me like a woman... I love him so much."
Zhuang Fu opened his mouth, his Adam's apple rolling, and uttered a few strange syllables that didn't form a sentence. Zhuang Yongyuan wanted to smile at him, but the corners of his mouth felt like they were weighed down by a heavy weight, unable to lift.
A light green plastic tube connected to a nearby oxygen tank and inserted into Zhuang Fu's nostril. Zhuang Yongyuan knew that if he pulled out the tube, everything would be over. The verbal abuse, the screaming, the repeated smashing of the door lock and the guitar would all end.
His left arm ached, and it was about to rain.
The worst beating Zhuang Fu inflicted on him was when he smashed a wine bottle into his left arm, breaking the bones. It wasn't because he hit him too hard, but because Zhuang Yongyuan was too young at the time, his bones weak. Even if Zhuang Yongyuan tried to forget the sight of Zhuang Fu's face when he smashed the bottle down on him, his arm would always remind him.
His hand had already touched the soft yet hard oxygen tube. As he hesitated, Zhuang Fu's cancer pain flared up, and he twisted in agony, causing the waterbed to creak. Zhuang Yongyuan turned his head away and heard Zhuang Fu squeeze a few more words from his throat: "Help me... Doudou... Help me..."
Zhuang Yongyuan was weighing and comparing. Was the cumulative pain he had suffered from Zhuang Yongyuan in the past greater than the pain Zhuang Fu was suffering now?
Zhuang Fu's greatest patience was when he was cutting Zhuang Yongyuan's hair. He had resigned from the battery factory and lost all his money in a business venture. To make a living, he learned barbering, often practicing on Zhuang Yongyuan and Aying's heads.
In order to save electricity, they only turned on the small light in the corner. In the dim light, Zhuang Fu carefully picked up a handful of Zhuang Yongyuan's hair and cut it downwards. Aying took a brush and gently brushed away the loose hair on Zhuang Yongyuan's neck.
Zhuang Fu combed Zhuang Yongyuan's hair, looked at it with satisfaction, and said complacently, "Doudou's hairstyle is the best."
"What's wrong with Doudou?" Aying said while pinching Zhuang Yongyuan's cheek.
It was summer then, and a circle of water ants always swished and fluttered around the fluorescent lights. Later, whenever Zhuang Fu gave him a haircut, Zhuang Yongyuan trembled, fearing that some action would anger him and stab him with the scissors. But Zhuang Fu always meticulously gave him a beautiful, stylish haircut, blow-dried and combed it, before telling him to get out.
Before Zhuang Yongyuan could make a decision, it was too late. The oxygen tube was still inserted into Zhuang Fu's nose, but he no longer needed it after dying from cancer.
Zhuang Yongyuan was unaware of the hatred in his eyes, but Zhuang Fu saw it all. His final thought was the regret Zhuang Yongyuan had been waiting for for over twenty years. At this point, believing in karma, he feared he would suffer retribution from Zhuang Yongyuan in the next life.
Xie Kang came in with dinner, put it on the kitchen counter, and called Zhuang Yongyuan's name. After calling several times, Zhuang Yongyuan didn't respond. Xie Kang walked over to Zhuang Yongyuan and said, "Eat first."
Zhuang Yongyuan stood up in a daze, followed Xie Kang for two steps, and suddenly pointed at Zhuang Fu lying on the bed and asked Xie Kang, "Xie Kang, can you help me check, is my father dead?"
Xie Kang was startled, his vision immediately picturing Li Xiuyu's dying, blood-soaked face. He gathered his consciousness and saw that Zhuang Fu's eyes were indeed closed, his face even more gloomy. He bravely probed Zhuang Fu's carotid artery, and found it was indeed dead.
He nodded to Zhuang Yongyuan.
Zhuang Yongyuan sat down again and first called Aying to announce the death. Still no connection, he called each number in Zhuang Fu's phone book: Abin, Azheng, and Ali. Xie Kang called the funeral director recommended by a neighbor. When the director arrived, he asked if Xie Kang had any rice. Xie Kang happened to have some in his fast food, so he gave the director a whole box. The director asked him to put the rice in a bowl. When the bowl was full, forming a small mound, it was considered acceptable. He then inserted three incense sticks and placed them at the end of the water bed. He had to watch the incense, replenishing it when it was almost finished, to ensure it did not burn out.
After it was completely dark, people began to arrive one after another, men, women, young and old. Zhuang Yongyuan had no time to concentrate on the trivial matters, big and small.
Another eight-person table was set up, and it quickly filled with people, their hands fluttering as they folded paper lotus flowers. A few words drifted to Zhuang Yongyuan's ears. "Aying hasn't come back yet? The last time she called, she said she was in Shanghai." Oh, the secret wrestlers are here too. I wonder how much money they've made from Ah Fu.
Zhuang Yongyuan looked at the woman kneeling in front of Zhuang Fuling. She had dry brown curly hair and was wearing a crudely made, ill-fitting black velvet cheongsam. She clasped her hands together and muttered to herself for a long time before standing up and walking towards Zhuang Yongyuan.
She got very close to Zhuang Yongyuan, and he subconsciously looked around for Xie Kang. At the same time, he heard the woman say to him, "Your father is a very good man. Don't be fooled by his bad temper. Two years ago, when I was sick, your father was the only one who immediately gave me 20,000 yuan and didn't ask me to pay it back."
Zhuang Yongyuan nodded woodenly and threw the remaining half stack of paper money in his hand into the gold burning barrel. The gold burning barrel was hit by the paper money and a bunch of sparks rose with a "boom".
He finally found Xie Kang, who was helping people move Zhuang Fu's old clothes down from upstairs. These clothes would be sent to the crematorium to be cremated tomorrow.
He practically ran to Xie Kang's side. Seeing his flushed face and nervous expression, Xie Kang quickly asked him, "Are you feeling unwell? Go lie down upstairs?"
Zhuang Yongyuan pursed his lips and shook his head before saying, "Come up with me. I have something to do."
When they got to the room, Zhuang Yongyuan closed the door and locked it. Then he wrapped himself around Xie Kang like a snake, panting and saying, "I want you, I want you."
Xie Kang blinked. Back then, he wasn't as cautious as he is now, and wouldn't refuse. Zhuang Yongyuan pinched his chin, kissed him, and licked the beads embedded in his tongue. His heart ached, but he still couldn't cry.
Between breaths, Xie Kang asked Zhuang Yongyuan vaguely, "What did you hear?"
Zhuang Yongyuan couldn't understand why Xie Kang could always see him so clearly, but when he was right, Zhuang Yongyuan didn't get angry. Instead, he felt a sense of security, just like the feeling when Aying brushed the loose hair off his neck.
He explained to Xie Kang, "A prostitute came. She said my father was a good man and gave her 20,000 yuan for medical treatment for free."
"You remember when I was short of a thousand yuan for tuition and wanted to borrow a thousand yuan from him, and how he scolded me?"
Xie Kang touched Zhuang Yongyuan's hair and said, "He's not well."
He hugged Zhuang Yongyuan and rolled onto the bed: "Your bed is facing his mourning hall downstairs."
Zhuang Yongyuan looked at the malicious smile on Xie Kang's face and understood what he meant. Although he was still trembling with fear, he took off his clothes and wrapped his legs around Xie Kang's waist.
The bed shook violently and then suddenly collapsed. Zhuang Yongyuan inevitably thought that it was Zhuang Fu's ghost that was haunting him. He couldn't help but push Xie Kang away, but was pulled back by Xie Kang.
Someone knocked on the door and asked what happened upstairs. There was a loud noise. Zhuang Yongyuan covered his mouth. Xie Kang shouted, "It's okay. I just accidentally fell. I'll be downstairs soon."
After they finished sweating profusely, Xie Kang finally let Zhuang Yongyuan go. Zhuang Yongyuan looked guilty, so Xie Kang poked his cheek and said, "With me here, what are you afraid of?"
"I……"
"Are you still angry?"
Zhuang Yongyuan shook his head and, along with Xie Kang, picked up the broken bed boards and piled them aside. He then added, "I've told my dad."
"What did you say?"
"He said I was with you." Zhuang Yongyuan's eyes flickered. "Do you think I pissed him off to death?"
"It's okay. He was dying anyway." Xie Kang thought for a moment and said, "When we get back to Shanghai, I'll get some talismans to ward off evil spirits and put them on my doorstep."
Zhuang Yongyuan let Xie Kang hold him. He had questions he wanted to ask, but couldn't bring himself to ask them. Wanting to be loved by his parents seemed like something shameful.
Aying never came. On the night after the burial, Zhuang Yongyuan invited guests to a banquet according to the rules. He was able to handle this funeral thanks to the help of his neighbors, otherwise he would not have been able to handle it himself.
On the train back to Shanghai, Zhuang Yongyuan cried for the first time. The funeral director and neighbors had repeatedly urged him to cry, saying it was inappropriate not to, but he refused to do so. He couldn't figure out what he was crying about, or whether he was truly sad about Zhuang Fu's death.
At the time, he felt completely lost, like a plant without roots, and was only thankful to have Xie Kang by his side. Later, he learned that one shouldn't treat another person as a root; no one could bear such a burden.
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