Wan Qiu looked at Chu Yigui.
The time spent waiting for Chu Yigui was silent, and now, facing Chu Yigui, it is still silent.
I've been with Chu Zhang these past few days, and his cheerful and noisy voice keeps echoing in my ears.
But when Wan Qiu is by Chu Yigui's side, he is calmer than ever.
Chu Yigui remained calm throughout.
"Good evening," Wan Qiu said, standing up.
"Is my brother waiting for me to come back?"
"Mm." Wan Qiu nodded.
Chu Yigui smiled, his soft laughter echoing in the quiet space, his expression gentle in the dim light.
"Have you been very busy lately? With your older brother around, he definitely won't let you have any free time."
Indeed, as Chu Yigui said, Wan Qiu and Chu Zhang's memories were indeed piled high with chaos and confusion, making them difficult to organize.
“Brother looks very happy.” Chu Yigui poked Wan Qiu’s cheek, her fingertips slightly cool.
Wan Qiu took out what he had prepared and presented it to Chu Yigui.
Chu Yigui looked down.
They are some tickets.
The tickets were neatly folded and placed together, varying in size, and even included a number of promotional leaflets.
The various designs and colors appeared blurry under the dim light.
They are all very simple things that have lost their intrinsic value.
But it was something Wan Qiu wanted to give to Chu Yigui.
Chu Yigui accepted the tickets and flyers.
For Wanqiu, these things were tickets to a new and beautiful world, beautiful guides more precious than anything else he had ever received.
Wanqiu also wanted to give it to his friends.
So that his friends can also see the world he sees.
Chu Yigui carefully examined each ticket and brochure, which included the date and time, enough for her to know Wan Qiu's itinerary.
We really went to quite a few places.
These tickets must represent unique memories for Wan Qiu.
"Can I take it?" Chu Yigui asked.
Wan Qiu nodded.
"Thank you, brother." Chu Yigui reorganized all the tickets and flyers, put them in the bag, and held them in his hand.
Perhaps this conversation should end here, and we should say goodnight to each other now.
However, Chu Yigui did not leave.
He gazed at Wan Qiu before him, her eyes bright and clear even under any light, drawing his attention.
Do those eyes look like this when they look at others...?
"Brother, eldest brother is a very interesting person, isn't he?" Chu Yigui knew he had asked a question that was unnecessary.
“Mm,” Wan Qiu replied.
"Do you like him?" Chu Yigui pressed.
Wan Qiu nodded.
"Is that so?" Chu Yigui's smile faded slightly, as if she was trying to maintain a last bit of a smile, but she eventually returned to calm. "During this time, has my brother ever needed me?"
Wan Qiu raised her eyes, her gaze revealing a subtle undercurrent of unspoken words.
Chu Yigui was waiting.
As always, they waited quietly for Wanqiu to say what he wanted to say.
Wanqiu felt that perhaps he had something to say.
In the past few days, he has been thinking about Chu Yigui.
But the chaotic and complicated memories were like countless pieces of colorful origami, piled up haphazardly, and Wanqiu couldn't find a clue.
Finally, he shook his head.
"I see," Chu Yigui said, his calm gaze fixed on Wan Qiu. "It's too late, brother. I'm very tired and want to rest."
Wan Qiu observed Chu Yigui and once again clearly saw Chu Yigui's displeasure.
Like black stars twinkling, appearing and disappearing.
The pain traveled from Chu Yigui's direction to Wan Qiu's side, passing through his clothes and causing a slight stinging sensation.
"Brother?" Chu Yigui's voice rose at the end, reminding Wan Qiu to respond.
Wan Qiu, however, did not know why, but did not want Chu Yigui to leave.
Is this the feeling of 'reluctance' that Mom mentioned, or something else?
Suddenly, a butterfly shimmering with blue light appeared before Wan Qiu's eyes, flying between him and Chu Yigui. In the blink of an eye, it disappeared.
Wan Qiu murmured, covering her cheeks with her hands, and asked, "Am I happy now?"
Chu Yigui gazed at Wan Qiu and responded with a soft "Mm".
Without realizing it, Wan Qiu reached out and grabbed Chu Yigui.
Under Chu Yigui's surprised gaze, Wan Qiu stepped forward and hugged Chu Yigui's waist.
Chu Yigui's eyes slowly widened, his hands dangling in the air, held by Wan Qiu, feeling Wan Qiu's cool body temperature against his chest.
It was unusual for Chu Yigui to show such surprise.
"Brother?" Even if he was her brother, Wan Qiu was still too short for Chu Yigui.
The frail older brother could be held in anyone's arms.
Chu Yigui placed her hand on Wan Qiu's back, offering a gentle reassurance.
For a moment, Chu Yigui didn't know why he needed to comfort Wanqiu.
Is now the time for Wanqiu to be appeased?
Her eyes, so clear and bright, brimming with happiness, seemed to hold a special light.
Wan Qiu nuzzled against Chu Yigui's chest intimately, as if trying to convey something.
Chu Yigui couldn't understand it.
All I could do was relax and accept Wanqiu's hug.
"Am I too tired?" Chu Yigui said slowly. For some reason, he was leaning on Wanqiu more than she was on. "I'm a little out of it. What is my brother doing?"
"I'll give it to you." Wan Qiu thought of a rather inappropriate word.
But Chu Yigui understood.
"Are you trying to ride on my brother's good mood?" Chu Yigui asked.
"Mmm," Wan Qiu replied, burying herself in Chu Yigui's arms and snuggling closer to him.
Happiness should be like the scales that a butterfly sheds; you can always shake them off.
Chu Yigui smiled.
Perhaps because the laughter was buried in Chu Yigui's chest, Wan Qiu heard it as muffled.
He couldn't see Chu Yigui's expression.
Hearing Chu Yigui's laughter, Wan Qiu still felt that perhaps it was a sign of happiness.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't here during this time." Chu Yigui softened her tone after a laugh.
Chu Yigui also knew that Wan Qiu wouldn't care.
For Wan Qiu, as long as he comes back, he doesn't care about anything else.
Chu Yigui was unable to participate in the contact between Wan Qiu and Chu Zhang.
He... was being rejected by Chu Zhang.
The moment Chu Zhang took Wan Qiu away from him before he left, Chu Yigui knew he couldn't get involved.
He could not leave his mark on Chu Zhang and Wan Qiu's interactions.
"Brother." Chu Yigui bent down and buried her face in Wan Qiu's shoulder, her voice filled with emotion, a sigh mixed with a soft whisper, "We are different, aren't we?"
“We are brothers, we are friends,” Wan Qiu repeated the words they knew so well. “We are even closer.”
Wan Qiu wondered if Chu Yigui had sighed.
But it seemed as if he was holding a balloon that wasn't very full, a little deflated.
In the end, Chu Yigui left Wanqiu.
Wan Qiu looked up at Chu Yigui, and the black stars that used to sting him seemed to have dissipated considerably.
He didn't share his joy with Chu Yigui.
But his unhappiness decreased.
Wanqiu didn't know if this was a success.
"If my brother needs me, I will definitely be there," Chu Yigui said calmly.
Wan Qiu felt that Chu Yigui must be very tired.
In the dim light, Chu Yigui revealed a weariness that was not usually seen.
Is the place he's going somewhere that will make him very tired?
"Good night," Wan Qiu said.
Goodnight, brother.
Wan Qiu followed behind Chu Yigui, looking at Chu Yigui's back.
Even when she was unhappy or exhausted, Chu Yigui's back was still straight.
At all times, Chu Yigui appeared beautiful in Wan Qiu's eyes.
Like an older brother.
——
When Jiang Chengfeng returned to teach Wan Qiu these past two days, he noticed that Wan Qiu would start playing on his phone during breaks.
I was initially worried that Wanqiu might become addicted to mobile phones like other children after learning how to use them.
But the reality was somewhat different from what he expected.
Wan Qiu doesn't seem to have the habit of hiding his phone from others.
Jiang Chengfeng unconsciously noticed what Wan Qiu was looking at.
Not games, Weibo, or videos.
It's a photo album.
The album contained a considerable number of photos, and Wanqiu seemed to be flipping through them one by one.
This was a very strange behavior. Jiang Chengfeng was concerned about Wanqiu's changes, so he communicated with Yan Hua.
Yan Hua said that this was a task she had assigned to Chu Zhang to leave for Wan Qiu.
As for why it was given to Chu Zhang, it was because Wan Qiu cared more about family matters than outsiders.
He is better at thinking when facing his family.
The goal is to let Wanqiu find and choose something he likes without any guidance.
Wanqiu seems to have a concept of liking that is basically confined to instinct.
For example, they might like family, food, or colors, but not hobbies or spiritual sustenance.
Now, we need to help Wanqiu understand and appreciate what he likes during the learning process.
Jiang Chengfeng could sense that Wan Qiu was very distressed, and that she would gradually become anxious after looking at the photos for a long time. At this time, Jiang Chengfeng would immediately interrupt Wan Qiu.
Adding pain and anxiety to the process of finding what you like will backfire.
However, Jiang Chengfeng also felt that Chu Zhang had probably gone a bit too far. Even for an ordinary person, it would be difficult to find their favorite photo among such a large collection, let alone Wan Qiu.
Wan Qiu was so focused on her research that Jiang Chengfeng couldn't bear to interrupt her.
How can we cooperate with Dr. Yan Hua's psychological counseling to help guide Wan Qiu?
For example...
Let's re-examine the definition of 'like'?
Jiang Chengfeng is a special education teacher. What he teaches is something more accurate and specific: to teach Wanqiu the correct understanding of things, rather than psychological counseling.
Jiang Chengfeng thought about it for a long time and decided to play a game with Wan Qiu.
It's not about teaching, but about playing a simple sorting game.
There are three boxes, representing like, dislike, and no feeling respectively.
Jiang Chengfeng would select some words and have Wan Qiu put them into these boxes.
And guide Wanqiu to think about why he likes it and why he doesn't like it.
I tried to find Wanqiu's favorite photo from his logic.
Fortunately, Wanqiu seemed quite interested in this game-like teaching method.
"Radish," Jiang Chengfeng said, while Wan Qiu silently wrote it down on the paper. "Which box will Wan Qiu put it in?"
Wanqiu put the radish in her favorite box.
"Why does Wanqiu like radishes?" Jiang Chengfeng asked.
"tasty."
Jiang Chengfeng's expression was somewhat subtle.
"Momordica charantia."
Wanqiu continued to write the bitter melon from memory, and then put it in his favorite box.
After hearing several words in a row, Jiang Chengfeng was already somewhat surprised by Wan Qiu's love for food.
Everyone has foods they don't like or aren't good at eating. For example, some people don't like cilantro or houttuynia cordata, while others aren't good at eating chili peppers or radishes.
However, no matter what kind of popular, disliked food Jiang Chengfeng suggested, Wan Qiu would categorize it as a favorite if she had ever eaten it.
Except for the ones I hadn't tried, which were placed in the 'I don't care' box, all the others were piled up in the 'I like' box.
It's as if there's nothing you dislike about it.
Jiang Chengfeng would also suggest words like "light," "wind," "leaves," and even "garbage," "dirty water," and "cockroaches," all of which were placed in his favorite box.
Even some words, Wanqiu, can't write.
No matter what word he uttered, as long as Wan Qiu knew its meaning, he would immediately associate it with liking, as if he liked everything that existed in the world.
The box for 'likes' is already piled high with slips of paper, while the box for 'dislikes' is still empty.
Although Jiang Chengfeng did not want to give Wanqiu a negative impression, the concept of 'dislike' was still very important to Wanqiu at the moment.
“Darkness,” Jiang Chengfeng said.
Wanqiu wrote down the correct word for darkness, but when she wanted to put it into the word for liking, she hesitated for a moment.
In the end, Wanqiu placed darkness into the box he didn't like, making it the first word in that box.
Jiang Chengfeng breathed a sigh of relief and asked, "Why don't you like the dark?"
Wan Qiu thought about it seriously for a moment and said, "I can't see anyone."
"Huh?" Jiang Chengfeng didn't understand.
"If we can't see people, we can't make everyone happy."
Jiang Chengfeng's heart seemed to quicken slightly. He was somewhat surprised that Wan Qiu would occasionally observe other people's little habits.
“Bleeding,” Jiang Chengfeng said.
This time, without any hesitation, Wanqiu threw it into a box he didn't like.
Jiang Chengfeng felt a great sense of accomplishment that Wan Qiu could now occasionally judge his preferences.
Why don't you like it?
Wan Qiu thought for a moment and said, "Bleeding will kill you."
Jiang Chengfeng felt that the explanation was fine, but he vaguely felt a subtle sense of unease, not knowing why it suddenly appeared beside him.
“Yes, that is, ‘pain’,” Jiang Chengfeng said.
Wan Qiu wrote the two words accurately, but Jiang Chengfeng saw that Wan Qiu hesitated between "dislike" and "no feeling" when placing the words.
Jiang Chengfeng even noticed that Wan Qiu seemed to want to categorize the pain as 'liking'.
Jiang Chengfeng frowned. Shouldn't pain be naturally categorized as something you don't like?
However, after thinking about it for a long time, Wanqiu finally put the pain into the state of not feeling.
At that moment, Jiang Chengfeng was stunned.
"Why?" Even Jiang Chengfeng himself didn't realize that he was asking the question rather urgently.
"I'm not afraid of pain," Wan Qiu murmured, but after thinking for a moment, she added, "I'm not afraid of being in pain all the time."
What does that mean? Jiang Chengfeng was completely bewildered.
"I..." Wan Qiu saw that Jiang Chengfeng did not continue with the next word, and racked her brains for a long time, "If it is my parents who hit me, I am not afraid."
Wanqiu hadn't been beaten in a long time, and had almost forgotten what pain felt like.
But if his parents hit him, then they must have made a mistake.
If something goes wrong, pain is good for him.
Jiang Chengfeng frowned, wanting to hold back and let it pass. After all, the current goal was simply to make Wan Qiu aware of his preferences, not to confuse Wan Qiu's thinking.
But after enduring it for a long time, Jiang Chengfeng couldn't hold back any longer.
“That’s not how it is, Wanqiu. Listen to the truth, pain is something that should be hated.” Jiang Chengfeng tried to correct Wanqiu’s thinking.
However, Wan Qiu sat in her seat and looked up. Her bright eyes, which always held Jiang Chengfeng in high regard, no longer showed the same trust as before.
Wan Qiu said matter-of-factly, "Getting beaten means you'll learn your lesson. Pain is a good thing."
Jiang Chengfeng choked: "No, Wanqiu, everyone makes mistakes. In life, people make all sorts of mistakes. After making a mistake, you should learn to admit it, correct it, and make up for the consequences. It's not about getting beaten up."
Wan Qiu pursed her lips and lowered her head: "If I hit him, wouldn't that change things?"
Jiang Chengfeng taught Wan Qiu for two months and also discovered that Wan Qiu's thinking had formed a system.
In the unknown, the teachings of others are everything, but once someone has a fixed mindset, it is not so easy to shake it.
“That’s not right,” Jiang Chengfeng said after thinking for a moment. “Pain is a signal that the body is rejecting you, you know that?”
Wan Qiu blinked and looked at Jiang Chengfeng blankly.
"If you eat something bad and your stomach hurts, it's your body telling you that you're sick. If you get bumped and your body hurts, it's telling you that you're injured. If your eyes hurt, it's also a sign that you need to rest."
Jiang Chengfeng tried his best to use the simplest language to tell Wan Qiu the simplest way to identify pain.
"Pain is your body telling you 'no.' Any pain that anyone brings you is your body telling you 'no.'"
Wan Qiu clearly hadn't grasped the implication: "Doesn't this mean that once it's done, it won't be done again? It means it's not allowed..."
Jiang Chengfeng thought for a moment and said, "Wanqiu, pain is your body telling you it can't, while pain inflicted on you by others is others telling you it can't."
Wan Qiu blinked. Doesn't that mean if it hurts, it's not okay? Doesn't that mean you have to change your ways?
Although Wan Qiu wanted to say something, he remained silent in the face of Jiang Chengfeng's expression.
Jiang Chengfeng rubbed his temples, knowing that explaining the complicated situation to Wan Qiu now would be difficult for her to understand.
"Wanqiu will understand in the future. As long as Wanqiu knows that pain is wrong, that will be enough."
Wan Qiu kept watching Jiang Chengfeng.
Jiang Chengfeng vaguely felt that this was the first time he had received a rejection from Wan Qiu in all the time he had been teaching her.
Even though Wan Qiu didn't offer any rebuttal, it didn't seem like he accepted it.
Wan Qiu seemed to be thinking.
Jiang Chengfeng was completely unaware of his thoughts.
For Wanqiu, pain is a word that is far too complex and entangled with a great deal of reality, and cannot be generalized.
For a time, pain even represented love to Wanqiu.
The feeling of being rejected made Wanqiu very upset.
It's like...
It felt like the love I once had had been denied.
People always make mistakes.
Wan Qiu felt that perhaps the teacher had also made a mistake.
"It's alright, Wanqiu. Even if you don't understand now, you'll gradually come to understand," Jiang Chengfeng reassured Wanqiu.
Jiang Chengfeng looked at Wan Qiu and vaguely felt that this matter needed to be told to Chu's parents.
This matter needs to be handled by Yan Hua.
What exactly is going on that makes Wanqiu's feelings about the word "pain" so confused?
However, after that, Wan Qiu seemed to be completely immersed in his own world, and began to react rather slowly to his words. The subsequent little game about 'like' and 'dislike' became awkward and hesitant.
When Wanqiu is focused on one thing, he forgets about another.
Wanqiu was once again immersed in the enormous and troublesome task of searching through the photos.
The deadline given by Chu Zhang has already reached its final day.
The thought of sending Chu Zhang his favorite photo with a caption the next night made Wan Qiu so anxious that he couldn't sleep.
When you're unsure about something, take the initiative to ask.
That evening, Wan Qiu knocked on Chu Yigui's door.
Chu Yigui seemed to be getting ready for sleep; she still had a faint fragrance from her bath.
"Brother, what's wrong?" Chu Yigui asked Wan Qiu to come in.
Wan Qiu sat in a chair in Chu Yigui's room, still somewhat conflicted.
Wan Qiu still lacks a bit of courage to ask questions proactively.
While Wan Qiu was racking his brains while holding his phone, a glass of milk was placed in front of him.
Wan Qiucai realized that he had been thinking for a long time, and Chu Yigui had even gone to the kitchen and heated up some milk.
"Relax, brother."
Wan Qiu rarely enters Chu Yigui's room; most of the time, Wan Qiu and Chu Yigui communicate in the living room.
In the stillness of autumn, one could sense that the air was filled with the scent of Chu Yigui.
The fact that Chu Yigui was beside him, and even that his scent enveloped him, made Wan Qiu feel much more at ease.
"I...don't know how to do the homework." Once she started speaking, Wan Qiu found that it wasn't so difficult to talk. "My older brother asked me to do the homework. He asked me to pick my favorite picture from the photos of our outings and send it to him."
Chu Yigui asked, "Photographs?"
Wan Qiu handed over his phone and opened the photo album.
Chu Yigui saw a considerable number of photos in the album.
These photos are all from when Wan Qiu and Chu Zhang went out together during the short holiday.
The itinerary for those days was shown to Chu Yigui even more clearly than the tickets and brochures.
Chu Yigui glanced through the photos that held memories and colors before asking, "Brother, are there any you don't like?"
Wan Qiu shook his head.
Is that really the case?
Chu Yigui knew very well that there was no one she disliked in these photos.
All the photos here are happy memories for Wanqiu, taken with her family in unfamiliar places.
"How about this?" Chu Yigui turned off her phone screen, placed it face down on the table, and looked up at Wan Qiu. "I'll ask, and you answer me, brother, is that alright?"
Wan Qiu nodded, waiting for Chu Yigui to speak.
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