Among a group of playful and increasingly relaxed high school graduates, someone finally suggested playing a confession game.
Wan Qiu secretly sent a message to Zhou Peiyu.
Wan Qiu: They said that all students are required to say who is the opposite sex they care about most in the class, and everyone has to say it.
Zhou Peiyu: That's more like it! This should be a graduation party! This is the last chance to confess your feelings.
Wan Qiu watched eagerly as each person present named the opposite sex they had feelings for.
Wan Qiu: Several female classmates said it was Yi Gui.
Zhou Peiyu: So how do you feel?
Wan Qiu was taken aback.
Wanqiu: Why are you asking me?
Zhou Peiyu: Don't you feel anything when you hear someone confessing their love to Chu Yigui?
How do you feel?
Wan Qiu looked up and saw a female classmate holding a microphone somewhat shyly. He then looked up at Chu Yigui.
Under the dim light, the shy girl with her head down still resembled a small, unopened flower bud, cute and delicate.
She mentioned Chu Yigui's name.
Everyone was teasing Chu Yigui, saying he was about to win over all the girls in the class.
"It's just out of gratitude for the help I've received; I'm very grateful for everyone's kindness," Chu Yigui quietly retorted to some of the teasing remarks with a touch of wicked humor.
When Wan Qiu looked up at Chu Yigui, he never saw Chu Yigui looking happy.
He was just smiling, but his gaze was slightly cold under the deliberately dim light of the environment.
Wanqiu: I think Yigui doesn't seem very happy.
Zhou Peiyu: Huh? He was the one who was confessed to, so why isn't he happy?
Wanqiu: Is this a confession? Doesn't a confession need a response?
Zhou Peiyu: Then let's wait a bit and see if anyone will call Chu Yigui away alone.
Wanqiu thought for a moment and replied: But Yigui will not leave me.
Zhou Peiyu: ...
Zhou Peiyu: ...It was my oversight.
Wan Qiu felt that Zhou Peiyu must have had a reason for inviting him to the gathering.
Wan Qiu: Is there something you want to know? Is it because there's a boy you like in Chu Yigui's class?
Zhou Peiyu: Stop thinking outside the box.
Zhou Peiyu: I just wanted to know if you were jealous because Chu Yigui was confessed to.
Wan Qiu's finger paused in mid-air.
Is he jealous of Chu Yigui?
Wanqiu couldn't imagine any possibility that Chu Yigui would accept someone else's confession.
His conviction was so strong that he couldn't even imagine the possibility of it.
Finally, after everyone had finished speaking, the microphone for the game was handed to Chu Yigui.
At that moment, the previously noisy graduates all held their breath.
Wan Qiu looked down and saw Zhou Peiyu's message: Who did Chu Yigui say she liked in the class? Wasn't it supposed to be among the girls in the class?
For some reason, Wan Qiu's mind went blank for a moment at that moment.
Wan Qiu raised his head and gazed at Chu Yigui's profile.
Chu Yigui didn't look at him. When her beautiful, slender fingers gripped the black microphone, the stark contrast between black and white seemed to separate reason and passion.
“I like Wanqiu,” Chu Yigui said.
"No, no, you have to pick one from the girls in the class, absolutely, don't try to get away with it!"
"Exactly! Let's see which girl the class monitor likes! Even a slight crush is fine!"
Everyone is looking forward to it and urging it on.
Wan Qiu, as if possessed, sent a message to Zhou Peiyu.
Wanqiu: I'm a little scared.
Zhou Peiyu: What are you afraid of?
Wanqiu: I don't know.
Zhou Peiyu: Are you still afraid that Chu Yigui will say he likes someone else?
The moment those words were spoken, Chu Yigui's voice came from beside Wan Qiu: "I only like Wan Qiu, please don't make things difficult for me."
Wan Qiu's heart suddenly stopped. He raised his eyes and looked at Chu Yigui.
Chu Yigui remained calm, seemingly unaware of any consequences arising from deviating from the rules.
Everyone seemed somewhat disappointed.
"How cunning of the squad leader to use someone else as a shield!" someone said.
"Yeah, class monitor, why don't you tell us who you have a crush on besides Wan Qiu?"
"Apart from Wan Qiu, I haven't developed feelings for anyone else." Chu Yigui's voice was clearly transmitted from the microphone to the loudspeaker and spread out.
No matter how much everyone tried to provoke Chu Yigui, he remained unmoved.
He only ever likes one person.
He only likes Wanqiu.
While everyone else thought Chu Yigui was escaping the game, only Wan Qiu could hear the seriousness in Chu Yigui's words.
Every word he uttered, every syllable he made, every expression of affection he uttered, was more earnest than any of the other students' confessions.
Among those eyes that held a hint of longing, among those students who hoped to confess their feelings before going their separate ways after graduating from high school, the most genuine voice Wan Qiu heard was Chu Yigui's.
Wanqiu sent a message to Zhou Peiyu: Chu Yigui said he only likes me, and won't tell anyone else.
Zhou Peiyu: I would say he is very resilient to have reached this level.
Zhou Peiyu: I think it's perfectly normal for you two to start dating in the future.
Wan Qiu: But Chu Yigui doesn't want to date me.
Zhou Peiyu: ? ? ?
Zhou Peiyu: What did you say? Did you guys discuss this matter?
Wanqiu: Hmm.
Zhou Peiyu: What happened? How did we agree to this? You didn't explain it to me clearly?
Wanqiu: I asked Yigui if he liked me, and he said yes.
Zhou Peiyu: Hasn't he always said that? How does it relate to romance?
Wanqiu: I asked Yigui, "Is it the feeling of liking someone in love?" He said yes.
For a long time, Zhou Peiyu did not reply to him.
Wan Qiu watched as his phone screen went dark.
Wan Qiu looked up and saw that everyone had already gone back to playing other games.
Sure enough, someone tried to get Chu Yigui to go out alone, but Chu Yigui refused.
Chu Yigui said she wanted to stay by Wanqiu's side.
Some of the bolder girls tried to grab Chu Yigui's hand, some even forcefully, but Chu Yigui stopped them.
During this unrestrained banquet, Chu Yigui remained calm, seemingly completely unaffected by the atmosphere.
He was the same way in his old school.
It was only when everyone else was caught up in the moment that Chu Yigui's composure truly revealed his uniqueness.
But this difference.
The classmates gradually noticed.
This is called indifference, or alienation.
Before leaving, Wan Qiu saw Zhou Peiyu's message: Does it mean he likes you but doesn't want to date you?
Zhou Peiyu: Wanqiu, do you not like Chu Yigui? Does Chu Yigui feel like she's in unrequited love, so she doesn't date?
Zhou Peiyu: Don't you usually listen to Chu Yigui? Is it because Chu Yigui also feels insecure? Is your affection for Chu Yigui the kind of affection you have in a romantic relationship?
Wan Qiu read these messages several times.
Isn't his affection for Chu Yigui romantic?
Could that be the reason?
Wan Qiu remembered that Chu Yigui once said that just by looking at someone, you could tell if they liked them.
They left the noisy place and walked in the night illuminated by lights. Before Chu Yigui could call for a vehicle to search for them, Wan Qiu offered to take a walk together.
In the quiet night, Wan Qiu tried his best to see Chu Yigui.
Wan Qiu knew that she liked Chu Yigui.
But is it a romantic relationship?
Wan Qiu stopped and looked up.
Chu Yigui also stopped and turned his head to look at Wan Qiu.
The stars in the city were not as bright as those in the villa; they seemed to be hidden behind a black curtain.
Wan Qiu felt that Chu Yigui was like these stars, bright and dazzling, yet obscured.
"Yi Gui," Wan Qiu tugged at Chu Yi Gui's clothes, "Can we kiss?"
How can you tell if someone likes Chu Yigui?
Is it jealousy?
Wan Qiu felt that he couldn't be jealous; he couldn't imagine Chu Yigui doing anything that would make him jealous.
Chu Yigui gave him such a strong sense of security that Wan Qiu could never imagine Chu Yigui leaving his side.
"Let's kiss. I want to know if I like you," Wan Qiu said.
If what Zhou Peiyu said is true, and Chu Yigui doesn't date because he doesn't like it, then...
Could he possibly fall in love with Chu Yigui? In the kind of romantic love.
Wanqiu could not describe Chu Yigui's expression at that moment.
Like the pitch-black night, his vision was unable to see anything in the darkness.
Wan Qiu was led forward by Chu Yigui's hand.
They went to a more secluded place.
Wanqiu had no idea where in the unfamiliar park this quiet, secluded, unlit path they had come to was, or which corner it was.
At this moment, it was so quiet that even the sound of mosquitoes could not be heard.
The dark figure in front of Wan Qiu was only outlined in a blurry shape by the black sky.
His fingers touched Wanqiu's forehead, then her cheek, and finally rested on her lips.
When darkness enveloped Wanqiu, and softness replaced fingers as they fell, all consciousness was stripped away.
Wanqiu seemed to hear the flow of blood, the sound of the wind, and even more so, the warmth and touch of life.
What does a kiss feel like?
This was Wanqiu's first kiss.
What Wanqiu gained was a sense of security.
After parting in the sweltering summer heat, the evening breeze brought a cool sensation to my lips.
Wan Qiu looked at Chu Yigui, whose gaze remained fixed on Wan Qiu even in the dim light.
However, Wanqiu still couldn't discern Chu Yigui's feelings.
It was as if they were deliberately targeting him, and he was being kept in the dark.
Is it too dark? Wan Qiu wondered.
He reached out and traced Chu Yigui's face, trying to find Chu Yigui's emotions with his fingertips, but it was all in vain.
In the end, Wanqiu was unable to utter another word.
It was as if the night had robbed them of their voice.
——
For a long time, Wanqiu couldn't figure out what that kiss could prove.
As always, Chu Yigui accepted his suggestion and gave him a kiss.
It has no other meaning besides that.
But this sudden request, made by Wanqiu, made it impossible for him to remain calm.
Wan Qiu had received many kisses from Chu Yigui.
They would occasionally kiss each other on the forehead, Wanqiu's hair was kissed, her temples were kissed, and they even kissed each other's fingers when they were playing around.
Kissing is not uncommon among them.
Such occasional intimacy brings Wanqiu joy.
Therefore, Wanqiu thought that kissing the lips didn't seem to bring any other sensations.
And that was indeed the case. At the time, Wanqiu did not feel disgusted, nor did she feel anything different from usual.
It seems that such closeness is perfectly normal.
Unlike any other work I've ever seen, it lacks detailed textual descriptions; unlike any movie I've ever watched, it lacks lyrical background music.
The kiss didn't seem particularly dramatic.
Even his heartbeat was steady.
only……
Occasionally, when Wanqiu recalls that night, which isn't entirely clear in her memory, a different kind of thought gradually arises within her.
On many quiet nights, I recall that time in the deserted park.
In a dark place where there is no light.
The scent of grass in the air, the familiar fragrance of Chu Yigui, the temperature even hotter than a scorching summer night, and the lingering coolness on her lips after she left, a result of the wind.
Everything seemed to be clearly imprinted in Wanqiu's mind.
As these memories became more frequent, Wanqiu also realized the differences from before.
Is this a romantic relationship?
Wanqiu couldn't tell the difference no matter what she did.
Wanqiu was also somewhat concerned, wondering what Yigui's feelings were.
Unlike himself, when he clearly knew that his feelings were romantic, how did he feel about this kiss?
Wanqiu missed the opportunity to ask.
Looking back on that day, Wan Qiu belatedly realized that he was not as calm as he had imagined.
Otherwise, he wouldn't have remained silent after the kiss.
He was led by Chu Yigui back to the brightly lit road.
They left the darkness and secrecy behind.
He could see Chu Yigui's calm gaze fixed ahead.
Chu Yigui did not speak to him again that day.
Since that day, Wanqiu has never mentioned this matter to Chu Yigui again.
It's as if I did something impulsive and then felt a little guilty.
Chu Yigui was no different from usual, as if that brief verification didn't even exist in his life.
Zhou Peiyu asked Wan Qiu about the relationship between him and Chu Yigui many times afterward, but Wan Qiu, for reasons unknown, did not tell Zhou Peiyu.
It's not that I don't want to talk about it, nor that I don't want to discuss it with someone.
Instead, Wan Qiu himself knew exactly what adjectives and words to use to express the complexity of his current feelings.
One night, Wanqiu suddenly couldn't sleep.
What were Chu Yigui's feelings? This question kept nagging at Wan Qiu.
Why didn't Chu Yigui speak to him at that time?
What was Chu Yigui thinking when he asked for a kiss?
Wanqiu experienced insomnia for the first time.
It turns out that when people are thinking about a lot of things, they really can't fall asleep.
Wanqiu opened the window, stepping from the air-conditioned room into the sweltering outdoors, but he still couldn't calm down.
Wan Qiu left the bedroom and wandered aimlessly throughout the vast villa.
I've lived here for a long time, and even now, some places still feel unfamiliar, as if I've never been here before.
But no matter how unfamiliar it was, Wan Qiu could still recall the memories of coming here with Chu Yigui.
Wan Qiu vaguely noticed that Chu Yigui seemed to have more memories of being by his side than anyone else.
More than Wan Xiaohua, more than Ning Qiaozhen, more than Yang Xiaoyu and Chu Jianshu.
Wan Qiu rode his little tricycle in circles in the garden at night.
Despite the sweltering heat and restlessness of the summer night, the gentle breeze brought a slight coolness.
Wanqiu stopped when he reached the orchard.
This orchard, which was once replanted, is Wanqiu's garden. Wanqiu seems to prefer the aroma of fruit that triggers the sense of taste to the fragrance of flowers.
The fruit growers who maintain the orchard here say that the transplanted varieties were all carefully selected, so they all taste very good.
It's a sign that he's being loved.
He has so much love, is it because he has so much that he can't tell the difference?
Wanqiu sat on a chair on a path in the orchard.
There were no lights here, only the dim glow of distant road lights, just like that night.
But the stars here are very bright, hanging clearly in the sky, very beautiful.
Wanqiu's fingers gently caressed her lips.
I pressed it unconsciously.
The fruity aroma that had been lingering in my nose seemed to have been replaced by another scent.
All thoughts were stolen away by this non-existent aura.
It seemed as if a voice suddenly entered Wanqiu's mind.
It was a 'click' sound.
At that moment, Wan Qiu suddenly realized something.
Because his mind was filled with inexplicable thoughts, Wan Qiu paid almost no attention to his surroundings.
But now he is alone in a place where there are hardly any people around, and it's pitch black all around—a perfect place for a haunted house.
Wan Qiu, who had always been afraid of ghosts, belatedly realized that he shouldn't be here so late at night.
Wanqiu stood up, wanting to go under the bright lights, but her legs trembled with fear.
Fear made Wanqiu stammer and want to cry.
Then a familiar voice came from not far away: "Wanqiu".
Wan Qiu suddenly looked in the direction from which the sound came.
It was a very tall person standing under the lamplight, beyond the edge of a distant, dark forest.
It was someone Wan Qiu was familiar with, and someone who had always caused Wan Qiu some confusion.
“I want to go home,” Wan Qiu murmured.
"I'm going." Seemingly out of concern for Wan Qiu's timidity, Chu Yigui's statement was not a statement of certainty, but rather a request for advice.
“I’ll come over, I’ll go to your place.” Wanqiu prefers bright lights to darkness.
Because Chu Yigui was nearby, Wan Qiu picked up his shattered courage again.
As Wanqiu gradually approached the light, Chu Yigui's figure became increasingly clear.
Looking at the person in the light from the shadows, Wan Qiu suddenly realized that Chu Yigui seemed to have really grown up.
He has become more mature and handsome. His face, which was slightly immature in my memory, has matured into a charming and handsome look.
The lights shone down from above, making Chu Yigui's hair shine brightly, as if they were coated with a yellowish hue.
"Can't you sleep?" Chu Yigui asked.
Wan Qiu nodded.
"Come."
Chu Yigui stretched out her hand, towards Wanqiu's direction.
Wan Qiu grabbed Chu Yigui's hand, but was pulled towards him by Chu Yigui's strength.
"Have you been bitten by mosquitoes?" Chu Yigui examined Wan Qiu's exposed skin, looking for any bites.
“No, Butler Bai said that they’ve been administering insecticide every week recently,” Wan Qiu said.
"Have you picked and eaten the fruit?"
“We haven’t eaten any yet. If you want to eat them, you have to wash them first. We can pick them in the greenhouse; there’s running water there,” Wan Qiu said, assuming Chu Yigui wanted fruit. “Do you want some?”
"Why can't you sleep?" Chu Yigui didn't respond to Wan Qiu's question.
"Because I'm thinking about something," Wan Qiu said.
Chu Yigui asked, "What is it?"
"Thinking back to that kiss I suggested last time, how did you feel? Did you like it?"
Wan Qiu never tried to hide his thoughts; he always expressed his doubts so easily.
Chu Yigui always gave him the truth.
"like."
Wan Qiu could clearly see Chu Yigui's expression under the light; as always, Chu Yigui had not deceived him in any way.
He always has a serious expression on his face.
Wan Qiu didn't understand why, even when he said he liked her, he didn't see Chu Yigui happy.
Are you unhappy now, or were you unhappy during the last kiss?
Was it because it was too dark that day that he couldn't see Chu Yigui's expression?
If it were now...
Can he see clearly under bright lights?
"Want me to kiss you again?" Wan Qiu asked.
Chu Yigui did not answer.
Wanqiu realized that this did not seem to be an order, but rather an inquiry.
Unlike last time.
Wan Qiu recalled the question from last time and said, "Shall we kiss?"
Wanqiu's request was granted again.
Chu Yigui did not hesitate at all after receiving Wan Qiu's suggestion.
Chu Yigui's hands did not touch Wanqiu as they had last time.
He simply bent down slightly to match Wan Qiu's height.
Their breaths gradually drew closer, intertwined, and merged.
They kissed quietly.
There was no hugging, just a close physical contact between the two of them, where they leaned against each other with kisses.
Wan Qiu tried hard to open her eyes, not to experience the kiss, but to pay attention to Chu Yigui's expression.
But Wanqiu felt that he probably shouldn't have done that.
He couldn't discern Chu Yigui's emotions at all.
But what he saw was something more complex, something he couldn't understand, something that even made him feel inexplicably tight in his chest.
Like a flower in full bloom, about to fall into the dust, decaying in the earth, mingling with the soil and releasing its last rich fragrance.
Wan Qiu suddenly felt that perhaps the kiss had a more complex meaning for Chu Yigui, one that he could not understand.
Chu Yigui seemed to be trapped in this complicated quagmire, struggling and unable to extricate himself.
At that moment, Wan Qiu knew that what he actually wanted to see was Chu Yigui's response to the kiss.
However, Wan Qiu felt that he did not want to see such a response.
Wanqiu took a step back and pulled away from the kiss.
It was clearly a tender moment.
But Wanqiu could not become intoxicated.
"Do you like it this time too?" Wan Qiu asked cautiously.
"Yes," Chu Yigui replied.
"Then why are you unhappy?" Wan Qiu asked, puzzled.
Don't things you like make you happy?
Chu Yigui lowered his eyes and looked at Wan Qiu.
Perhaps it was his thick eyelashes that obscured his eyes, allowing more subtle emotions to remain hidden in the shadows of those eyes.
"Do you really like me?" Wan Qiu continued to ask, not getting an answer from Chu Yigui.
"like."
"What kind of liking is it?" Wan Qiu asked. Is it the liking of a lover?
"It's the affection of family members."
Wanqiu's eyes slowly widened, but this was not the end.
"It's a friend's liking."
"It's because my benefactor likes me."
"It's a feeling of guilt when I like someone."
"It's a pillar..."
"It's a place to place one's hopes..."
"yes……"
"It's the feeling of liking someone in love."
Wanqiu stood there, his mind filled with confusion.
Chu Yigui said a lot, and he didn't seem to have thought about it much; he just said whatever came to mind.
It was as if Chu Yigui had given Wan Qiu all the affection she could think of.
Wanqiu seemed to be holding a large pile of fragrant fruit, the fresh aroma constantly confusing his judgment.
There are so many, Wanqiu can hardly take them all.
"It's not just kissing, you like whatever I do, right?" Wan Qiu suddenly felt that she seemed to have become a little smarter.
"yes."
"Then why are you unhappy?"
This was the question that Wanqiu was most curious about.
Liking something should make you happy.
If Chu Yigui is unhappy, Wanqiu will also be unhappy.
In the silence, the exhilarating joy gradually settled at my feet.
Wan Qiu finally received Chu Yigui's answer.
"I have nothing left to give you."
Chu Yigui gave everything to Wanqiu.
While receiving a steady stream of nourishment from Wanqiu, he was no longer able to give back in any way.
He and Wanqiu could not be equals.
Unable to respond, I've lost the courage to accept.
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