Chu Zhang looked at his younger brother sitting opposite him. This period of time was the longest time he and Wan Qiu had spent together.
There is no barrier or conflict between them.
Wan Qiu was perfectly well behaved.
Every time Chu Zhang looked at him with those beautiful and clear eyes, he would feel that he was Wan Qiu's world.
Sometimes Chu Zhang also felt that Wan Qiu played the role of his younger brother too perfectly.
Then he...
Have you become a good big brother in Wan Qiu's eyes?
"Wan Qiu, are you having fun here with Big Brother?"
Wan Qiu nodded.
"Have you found anything you want to do?"
Wan Qiu thought for a moment and shook his head.
Chu Zhang's smile was different from his usual confident expression, and he was somewhat helpless: "I hope you can relax a little."
Wan Qiu nodded: "I'm relaxed."
Chu Zhang looked at Wan Qiu eagerly, and Wan Qiu looked back at him.
Finally Chu Zhang laughed out loud.
But this kind of laughter gradually died down under Wan Qiu's confused gaze.
The last laugh was mixed with a faint sigh.
"Wan Qiu, Mom told me something." Chu Zhang said slowly, "It's about how Mom and Dad participated in abandoning you."
At this moment, Wan Qiu's originally relaxed and happy expression tensed up.
It's not a very obvious change.
It was like the clear water that was originally swaying freely in the rope bag, but now it had no space to sway because the rope was suddenly tightened.
Chu Zhang looked at Wan Qiu's reaction and knew that the impact of this incident on Wan Qiu would not pass so quickly.
This is also what Chu Zhang has been worried about.
This is also something that cannot be discussed with Zhao Xinghua.
"That was a wrong thing to do. I won't defend myself on behalf of my parents," Chu Zhang said.
However, Wan Qiu answered: "It doesn't matter."
"If Wanqiu wants, big brother can scold mom and dad together with Wanqiu." Chu Zhang smiled, but he didn't show his smile. "Wanqiu can scold big brother if he wants."
Wan Qiu said, "My parents said they would never abandon me again."
Chu Zhang asked: "Is that all?"
"Yeah." Wan Qiu nodded.
Chu Zhang knew that Wan Qiu believed the promise that Chu Jianshu and Yang Xiaoyu made to him.
Just believing doesn't mean there are no grudges, nor does it mean you can let it go immediately.
Chu Zhang has no memory of being abandoned, so he cannot empathize with Wan Qiu.
The reason why Wan Qiu and Chu Yigui are closer may be because they empathize and sympathize with each other as people who have been abandoned together.
He didn't want Wan Qiu to have such a memory and impression.
"Wan Qiu, do you know the difference between abandonment and loss?"
Wan Qiu thought about it and nodded.
"What's the difference?" Chu Zhang asked.
"To abandon means to no longer want it, and to lose means to throw it away." Wan Qiu replied, but he did not get the correct answer, only a simple understanding.
“Discarding is throwing away something you don’t want.”
Chu Zhang stared into Wan Qiu's eyes seriously, not giving him the chance to think about other complicated things.
“Loss is the accidental loss of something you want, something important, something you don’t want to throw away.”
Wan Qiu slowly opened his eyes wide.
"Wan Qiu, we lost you, not abandoned you. It has been like that since the beginning."
Chu Zhang's words provided a unique explanation to Wan Qiu.
It seemed to have pried open a fact that Wan Qiu had already established in his heart.
Chu Zhang knew that Chu Yigui could not tell Wan Qiu these words, and only they, the parties involved, knew these things.
"From the beginning, the loss was an accident. We never gave up looking for you."
Chu Zhang didn't intend to tell Wan Qiu, because Wan Qiu's disappearance made the atmosphere at home become tense and weird.
But he had to tell Wan Qiu: "We have been looking for you because we don't want to lose you.
Whether it's mom, dad, or me,
Wan Qiu, you should have heard that I wrote songs in the hope that you could hear them, remember? "
Wan Qiu's fingers were quietly entangled together. He remembered that he knew this when he was with Zhou Peiyu.
"If we want to abandon you..." Chu Zhang reached across the table and lifted Wan Qiu's chin with his hand, so that Wan Qiu could look at him more seriously and listen to him, "Wan Qiu, you have no chance to come back."
Wan Qiu might know these things.
Perhaps as I know more, these things will become clear.
He will become more sensible and understanding.
"Our family are very bad at expressing themselves, so I'll tell you for them."
Chu Zhang raised his eyebrows and smiled, as always, as if all the happiness in the world would gather around him.
"We miss Wanqiu very much, we want him to come back very much, and we are very happy that he is back with us.
Whether it's dad, mom, me, or Yang Er,
We never really abandoned you, none of us ever did that!"
Chu Zhang looked at Wan Qiu. The lights were reflected in his beautiful eyes, which were inherited from Yang Xiaoyu. They were like shining transparent windows, enclosing a warm little home.
"But, Mom and Dad..." Didn't they participate in abandoning him, Wan Qiu wanted to ask.
"That's because they are stupid!" Chu Zhang mocked his parents in front of Wan Qiu, "People always act stupid in front of the people they love the most!"
Wan Qiu choked.
"So Wanqiu, listen carefully." Chu Zhang held Wanqiu's cheeks with both hands and pinched them, "I didn't abandon you. That's not the case."
Wan Qiu was confused and asked at a loss: "Why?"
"Because from the beginning to the end, it never happened! After all, it was those bad guys who abandoned you, not us!" Chu Zhang said to Wan Qiu very firmly.
Wan Qiu's eyes widened.
Chu Zhang said: "How about I tell you one more thing?"
"Hmm?" Wan Qiu's chin was pinched, and the sound he made sounded a little weird.
Chu Zhang was a little hesitant.
Is it too early to tell Wan Qiu now?
But after Wan Qiu accepted the "abandonment" incident, Chu Zhang also thought about it.
Is it really a good thing to let Wan Qiu always be worried and uneasy?
No matter what, at least Wan Qiu knows that he will always think and grow.
"Yigui." Chu Zhang pursed his lips and said to Wan Qiu, "Have you ever thought about what the name Chu Yigui means?"
Wan Qiu wanted to shake his head, but he couldn't move because Chu Zhang was holding him.
"I don't know." Wan Qiu said.
Chu Zhang said: "Yigui means I hope you can come back. The name Chu Yigui exists with the hope that you will come back."
At this moment, the air stagnated.
Things that he had never thought about or known suddenly rushed into Wan Qiu's mind.
Chu Yigui...
Reminiscence...
Wan Qiu is always with Chu Yigui.
He had never thought about what kind of existence Chu Yigui was at home. Wan Qiu didn't have a smart enough brain to think about it.
When Wan Qiu heard Chu Yigui's name, his first reaction was not to feel comfortable or happy.
The first thing he thought of...
Only Chu Yigui returned.
"Of course, although it is a wish placed on him, Chu Yigui is also a very important person to us. Although we use the name Yigui, we also sincerely regard him as our own family."
Although he and Chu Yigui have a bad relationship, not all families have good relationships between children, right? Chu Zhang complained in his heart.
Wan Qiu held Chu Zhang's hand, holding the hand that was big and thick to him in his palm.
Wan Qiu looked up at Chu Zhang.
"Does my brother know?"
"I know. We never hid it from him from the beginning."
Chu Zhang vaguely noticed that Wan Qiu's mood seemed a little wrong, and suddenly knocked Wan Qiu on the head.
"Don't think too much. Big brother told you this just because he wanted you to know that we haven't abandoned you. We are serious about being the youngest."
Chu Zhang's confidence won Wan Qiu's understanding.
But I still feel confused, like a fog.
There is no way to dispel it.
——
Chu Yigui stood at the door of the hotel, lifted the hem of his clothes to let the sweat from the night run dissipate.
When Chu Zhang looked at him intentionally or unintentionally, he understood that Chu Zhang probably wanted to say something to Wan Qiu.
The summer night is still very hot, the air is filled with a burning smell and the buzzing of mosquitoes in the ears.
Chu Yigui entered the hotel lobby and glanced at the time, not sure whether he should go back.
Until his cell phone rang.
Chu Yigui lowered his eyes and saw the word "brother" written on the caller ID.
While answering the phone, I went to the elevator door and waited for the elevator.
"I'll be at the door soon, brother, please open it for me." Chu Yigui said.
When Chu Yigui entered the door, the cool temperature of the air conditioner brought away the heat, and Chu Yigui first looked at Wan Qiu.
Wan Qiu looked up at him, as if he wanted to come closer.
"I'm going to take a shower. I'm all sweaty." Chu Yigui stopped Wan Qiu.
"Yeah." Wan Qiu held Chu Yigui's arm. Chu Yigui's body was still wet with sweat. "I'll go get you some clean clothes."
Warm water flowed from the shower head, but Chu Yigui was thinking about Wan Qiu's expression at that time.
A faint gaze, as if testing something.
Chu Yigui had no idea what Chu Zhang and Wan Qiu had said.
At first Chu Yigui didn’t intend to ask, after all, this was Chu Zhang and Wan Qiu’s privacy.
But now it seems...
Every time Wan Qiu showed that kind of look, Chu Yigui couldn't control himself from exploring it.
When Chu Yigui came out, Wan Qiu was standing at the door holding clothes, actually waiting for him.
"Can I blow-dry your hair?" Wan Qiu asked after Chu Yigui took the clothes.
Chu Yigui thought about it and nodded.
Chu Yigui often blows Wan Qiu's hair, and Wan Qiu always learns quickly for such a simple task.
The sound of the hair dryer became the only sound surrounding the two of them at this moment.
Chu Yigui could feel Wan Qiu's fingers gently moving through his hair, bringing the soft touch.
Wan Qiu's movements were always very gentle, so gentle that he seemed to be made of fragile glass and was always handled with great care.
Perhaps only Wan Qiu would be so cautious towards him.
Putting down the hair dryer, Wan Qiu sat opposite Chu Yigui.
Chu Yigui waited for Wan Qiu to say what he wanted to say, quietly, without interrupting or guiding him.
But this time Chu Yigui waited for a longer time, and Wan Qiu looked very confused.
He obviously had no idea what the reason for his confusion was.
This time, Chu Yigui took the initiative to speak: "Can I know what my elder brother and elder brother said?"
Wan Qiu raised his head, as if he had such a question, and he chose to answer the question first.
"My eldest brother told me that my parents, he and my second brother have never abandoned me," said Wan Qiu.
There was a gleam of understanding in Chu Yigui's eyes. It was obvious that Chu Zhang knew the current situation at home.
"Yes." Chu Yigui responded, "Brother is right."
Chu Yigui looked at the hesitant Wan Qiu and realized that this didn't seem to be what Wan Qiu really wanted to say.
Wan Qiu seemed a little impatient now. He grabbed the white sheets of the hotel with his fingers. He wanted to say something to him several times, but in the end he stopped talking.
It wasn't like he had forgotten what he wanted to say.
But he himself hasn't figured out what he wants to say yet.
"Anything else?" Chu Yigui asked proactively, "Which sentence did you find so irritating? Can you please repeat it to me?"
Wan Qiu hesitated. For some reason, he instinctively didn't want to say this.
But Chu Yigui asked.
"My eldest brother said that the name Chu Yigui exists to express his wish for my return." Wan Qiu murmured.
At a certain moment, Chu Yigui's mind went blank for a moment.
He kept looking at Wan Qiu who was hesitating in front of him.
"Brother, you are unhappy because of this sentence, right?" Chu Yigui asked.
Wan Qiu hesitated, but finally nodded.
"Are you unhappy because you thought of me?" Chu Yigui asked again.
However, Wan Qiu nodded again.
Chu Yigui could see Wan Qiu’s confusion from those completely pure pupils.
Wan Qiu probably didn't understand why he was unhappy, and he couldn't even express the reason for his unhappiness.
Because Wan Qiu didn't understand what a "substitute" was.
Chu Yigui was in deep thought, unable to decide whether or not to teach Wan Qiu the meaning of this word.
But even when Wan Qiu didn't understand, he had already made a judgment based on his feelings.
Chu Yigui is not good at accepting emotions.
And now, the affection Chu Yigui saw from Wan Qiu was like the water from a shower head in a shower room, wiping away the sticky sweat on his body bit by bit, bringing warmth and comfort.
"Brother." Chu Yigui took the initiative to tell Wan Qiu, "Initially, I was adopted as a substitute for my brother."
Wan Qiu's eyes slowly widened: "Replacement?"
"If my brother has a pen that he likes very much, but one day it has no ink, what will he do?"
Wan Qiu said, "Change the refill."
"This is the replacement. The previous one is gone, lost, and can't be used. So we find a new one to replace the previous one." Chu Yigui's voice was still steady.
However, Wan Qiu said: "But my brother is not my substitute."
Wan Qiu understood this matter unexpectedly quickly and responded to his words.
"Brother, no one can replace anyone else." When Chu Yigui said this, it seemed more like he was talking to himself than to Wan Qiu.
He once tried every possible means to become Wan Qiu.
But now I can say such words easily.
"I have no intention of replacing my brother." Chu Yigui kept all those secrets and thoughts to himself, "I am also working hard to be a better person."
"But..." Wan Qiu hesitated.
"Mom and Dad don't think I can replace you. My brother is irreplaceable."
Wan Qiu looked at Chu Yigui eagerly, and finally approached him and held Chu Yigui's hand.
They always hold each other's hands like this, as if this can convey their feelings for each other more clearly.
Wan Qiu was unhappy.
Even though Wan Qiu had a vague idea of what substitutes were, he was instinctively unhappy.
"Brother is..." Wan Qiu tried hard to find a more suitable word. After thinking for a long time, he suddenly said, "Brother is unique. No one can replace brother."
Chu Yigui smiled.
In the space where only two people were present, laughter could be heard clearly.
Chu Yigui turned his head and leaned on Wan Qiu's shoulder.
Wan Qiu was too short, and this action was a bit uncomfortable for Chu Yigui.
However, the warmth transmitted by the mutual touch seemed to make Chu Yigui see the endless care coming from Wan Qiu.
This is a concern that belongs only to him, without any other external factors.
It is the attention he has worked hard to get and hopes to always get.
"It's okay, brother, do you remember what you said to me in the orphanage?"
Wan Qiu blinked, unable to remember which sentence it was.
“My brother told me that I actually have a lot.”
Chu Yigui's light smile was mixed with emotion.
"My brother is right. Even if it's because of a substitute, I got more that I never had before."
Chu Yigui noticed that Wan Qiu's grip on his hand was tightening.
He seemed unable to admit his statement.
"You are not a substitute." Wan Qiu said stubbornly.
Chu Yigui, who had never really complained before, saw for the first time someone standing by him unconditionally.
That's how emotions work.
When a person persists, emotions are always more resilient and stronger.
But when someone was around, Chu Yigui understood why people were vulnerable around those they were close to.
Chu Yigui doesn't cry or make a fuss. Emotional stability is extremely important to him.
But perhaps it was because his brother was the only one here, and perhaps he knew that this place was far away from the things and people he was familiar with.
In the somewhat unfamiliar environment, Chu Yigui's emotions were slightly broken.
Chu Yigui didn't say anything.
He also didn't let Wan Qiu see his expression.
But Chu Yigui hugged Wan Qiu with both hands. The thin Wan Qiu lay on his back on the bed because of his strength, and the soft bed shook a few times.
And Chu Yigui hugged him.
It has a sweet taste, like cream.
Chu Yigui, who obviously had no preference in taste, liked this sweet taste.
He is fragile and thin, but he is my brother.
He tolerated his brother's little willfulness and allowed him to vent his emotions without being accused of being wrong.
“Although it’s not right to say this, it’s because of my brother that I came to the Chu family, and I don’t regret it.”
Chu Yigui's voice was lost in the soft mattress and the clothes on Wan Qiu's shoulders.
Wan Qiu stretched out his hands and hugged his tall brother who almost overshadowed all his glory.
Wan Qiu thought hard and said, "If this is why my brother came home, then maybe it's a good thing that I was thrown away."
Chu Yigui's body suddenly stiffened.
No words were spoken for a long time.
Wan Qiu's unconscious love makes all words pale and powerless.
There was only a blank in my mind.
All his thoughts, emotions, and even calculations were meaningless in front of Wan Qiu.
And the most realistic thing for him is that when he faces this clear and bright mirror, everything about him is exposed.
——
Zhou Peiyu went back, and Wan Qiu also planned to go back.
Just like Zhou Peiyu was worried about the dance class, Wan Qiu was actually also worried about the dance class.
There are some manual work assignments for fifth graders, which are not convenient to do here.
Chu Zhang said as a matter of course: "It's the fifth grade summer homework, so if you don't want to do it, it won't matter."
But seeing Wan Qiu's righteous expression as if a good student must do his homework, and Zhao Xinghua's cold face beside him, Chu Zhang coughed.
"But doing homework well is a student's duty, hahaha." Chu Zhang was really afraid that Zhao Xinghua would run to complain to Yang Xiaoyu again.
Suddenly, Chu Zhang felt his clothes being pulled and he lowered his head.
Wan Qiu looked up at him and said seriously, "Brother, you need to work harder."
Under normal circumstances, Chu Zhang wouldn't like others telling him to work hard.
Is he not serious enough? If he is not serious, will the name "Chu Zhang" still be a household name?
But if it was Wan Qiu who said it, Chu Zhang felt different. This must be the blessing of an angel.
"Okay, big brother will definitely do it." Chu Zhang lowered his head and asked in Wan Qiu's ear, "Now Wan Qiu knows why big brother gave you these things with big brother's photos printed on them?"
Wan Qiu’s key chain, cell phone chain, and bag chain all have Chu Zhang’s name and phone number on them.
This time, Wan Qiu nodded.
"Wan Qiu will never be lost again, and no one will abandon our lovely Wan Qiu." Chu Zhang couldn't help but touch Wan Qiu's hair. The furry feel was great.
"I won't lose it again." Wan Qiu shook his head under Chu Zhang's thick palm, "My brother will find me. I have memorized everyone's phone number."
Chu Zhang raised his eyebrows and smiled.
Wan Qiu accepted that he was not abandoned and would slowly recover.
"Yes, if you have any problems, you must call us. Everyone in the family is supporting us, Wan Qiu!"
Zhao Xinghua treated Chu Zhang almost like he was coaxing a child, and it was hard to look at him.
Chu Zhang looked up and looked at Chu Yigui who was standing beside him.
This quiet younger brother seems to be in a good mood and looks good.
Chu Zhang said: "You and Wan Qiu are usually close, so remember to take care of your brother."
However, Chu Yigui smiled faintly: "It's my brother who has been taking care of me."
Chu Zhang raised his eyebrows but did not comment.
When Wan Qiu was going to the airport, it was a pity that Chu Zhang could not take any vacation time, so Zhao Xinghua had to see him off.
Wan Qiu looked up at Zhao Xinghua and said, "Goodbye, Brother Zhao."
"Go." Zhao Xinghua waved goodbye to Wan Qiu.
Looking at the combination of two teenagers and a bodyguard, Zhao Xinghua thought of what Chu Zhang said.
"Watching Wan Qiu grow up, I feel like it's really too fast. He didn't understand anything at the beginning and couldn't speak clearly, but now he has his own ideas. Sometimes I feel like my worries are unnecessary."
Zhao Xinghua shrugged.
He felt that Chu Zhang's worries were unnecessary.
If Chu Zhang can realize this and work more seriously in the future, he will be thankful.
Wan Qiu looked out the window as he boarded the plane to leave.
The eldest brother's words were vaguely recorded in my heart.
Next, he will still maintain a very long distance from his elder brother, one that requires a plane to reach.
But it doesn’t seem really out of reach.
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