Dreams follow the falling pear clouds and peace
My name is Qian Li, which was given to me by a Taoist priest who came down from the mountain after he calculated my fortune. My grandfather thought it was quite unlucky, so he gave me the courtesy name "Xuan Du" in the hope of calming my nerves.
In fact, I don’t care about names or anything like that. After all, I firmly believe that a name can’t influence my life.
But I have been weak and sickly since childhood, and it cost a lot of money just to buy medicinal herbs. Later, my mother passed away, leaving me and my younger sister to depend on each other for decades.
I don't believe in fate, but I have to.
My classmates laughed at me, my clan members disliked me, and I thought I had long been accustomed to being looked down upon.
Until he appeared, I was like a dying baby bird that accidentally tasted a drop of sweet rain.
Being a merchant's son made me feel ashamed in the academy, but he was the first person to stand in front of me and speak up for me.
The boy with a small black dot above his left eyelash.
He said to me, "I don't have many friends in the academy. How about we find some companions?"
However, it was clearly him who reached out first, and after that I was the one who always stuck to him.
When I first met him, he accidentally discovered that I liked tea, and he never forgot to bring me a bag of tea every day.
He said that there were piles of tea at home, but I knew better than anyone that these bags of tea were all stolen from his grandfather, and he was scolded a lot for this in private.
Those teas are not good teas, not worth much, not even half as much as what I have in my private collection.
But to me, his kindness is more precious than gold and stone.
During the days of reviewing his lessons, I repeatedly reminded him to be more diligent, but he seemed to be indifferent.
That day, I found him under the pear blossom-covered tree in the academy.
The bluestone was cold, and he lay alone on his back under the pear tree, with his newly cut clothes half spread out, letting the pear blossoms fall all over his collar and sleeves.
I remember when he was young, he was not dressed in black like this. Instead, he was very flamboyant. I miss him very much when I think about it.
I told him to review his lessons and practice swordplay, but he just stood on tiptoe and said to me, "Xuan Du, listen."
"...What are you listening to?" I retorted.
"Which of the sounds of wind and insects is not more pleasant than your worried mind?"
He opened his right eye and looked at me, with brightness written all over the corners of his eyes.
It was that feeling of comfort that made me break the rules and follow his example, sitting directly on the exposed tree roots.
I looked at the sky for a long time, about half an hour, and he stayed with me for half an hour.
Later, I asked him unexpectedly, "Yinxi, what are your plans for the future?"
I don't know if he was joking, but he answered like this: "Find a hobby and be an idle person."
At first I couldn't understand why he didn't seek fame and fortune when he was doing so well in school, but instead wanted to be an idler?
I felt like he was just trying to put me off, so I pursed my lips and ignored him.
But now, I know clearly that being an idle person has been his pursuit from the beginning to the end.
When I was with him in the past, I was used to seeing his mischievous behavior of robbing bird nests and throwing stones. I thought that he would never change his temper. Until that day, he actually picked up the ancient books, which really surprised me.
So I jokingly said, "I don't see the dandy Mr. Chu today?"
Who would have thought that his cheeks would turn pink, his left eyebrow would raise, and he would tell me straight and clear: "I want to marry her!"
I knew very well who the "she" he was referring to was - the second daughter of the Jiang family, Jiang Ying. We usually just called her Ah Ying.
I still remember the first time I met her.
At that time, Yinxi and I had just finished school and had some time to relax in the street market.
Although he was just strolling around with nothing to do, I knew him. He just wanted to go to the street to watch the young ladies from wealthy families in Beijing toss the ball. After all, he was born to be a person who loves to join in the fun.
It’s still interesting to talk about it now. If he had really been waiting under the embroidery building at that time, he might have been able to catch the embroidered ball.
But his fate is not here.
According to him, one has to keep his mouth busy when joining in the fun, so he took me to the market and picked a few peaches and put them in his pocket.
He had just bought the remaining peaches when he saw an old woman huddled alone in the shadow of a small tree, guarding a basket of green lotus pods.
At this hour, the sounds of people's hearts and the market were as flowing as water, but the old woman was as still as stone, guarding a basket of drooping lotus pods.
I was about to turn around and leave, but Yinxi stopped me.
"Xuan Du, how much money do you have on you?" he suddenly asked.
I told you the truth.
"Just lend it to me today and return it tomorrow." This is what he said to me.
I don't care about the small change. If he wants it, I can give him more. But I didn't understand what he wanted the money for at first.
It wasn't until he walked excitedly towards the old woman with two purses in hand that I understood what he was thinking.
But who told him to buy a few peaches first? Halfway through his journey, he was snatched away by someone else.
That person was Ah Ying.
She wore a veil hat and a long Wu silk skirt of light purple and moon white. The fabric was light and soft, and a few magnolias were sparsely embroidered on the cuffs and hem of the skirt. She had no extra ornaments on her body, except for a white jade ring around her waist, which tinkled softly with every step she took.
She went to Yinxi first and bought all the lotus pods, and then she and her personal maid filled their arms with the lotus pods.
To express her gratitude, the old woman gave her a beautiful lotus and jokingly called her the Lotus Fairy.
Now that I think about it, she really deserves this title. After all, she is truly breathtakingly beautiful. Yinxi probably thinks so too.
Yinxi stood there, staring at her for a long time. I called him several times before he came to his senses.
But the first thing he did after he came to his senses was to run after Ah Ying - he wanted to know her name.
I followed him, squeezed through the crowd, and it took me a while to catch up with her.
Unexpectedly, after catching up with the man, Yinxi lost his voice, his cheeks were even redder than the sunset, and he stammered and couldn't utter a word.
I watched him watching the fun from the side and couldn't help laughing out loud.
Ah Ying was actually a kind person. Even though Yinxi looked so strange, she looked him up and down, and then, for some reason, she picked out the freshest lotus pod and stuffed it into his palm.
The moment the veil of her hood brushed against the back of his hand, he was as stupid as a clay doll, staring at the girl motionlessly, which made me laugh.
If there weren't so many people around, I would have laughed out loud on the spot - how could someone who is so cunning on weekdays be so stupid?
As expected, Ah Ying was called away by her elder sister again.
But Yinxi was determined to ask her name, so he strode after her.
I followed him like watching a good show. During the process, I passed by the embroidery building where he was going before. This time, I didn't even look at him and walked straight through the crowd.
I was two steps away from him when I happened to see a hydrangea pass by his ear and then be snatched away by other gentlemen.
I subconsciously glanced upstairs and inadvertently saw the loneliness on the young lady's face.
I guess, maybe the hydrangea was meant to be thrown to Yinxi, but at that time his mind and eyes were filled with the lotus fairy.
Looking back now, if Yinxi had accepted the bouquet, perhaps he would not have suffered such a disaster in the future.
But he missed the opportunity.
From then on, every time after school, he would drag me to the girls' academy to cover for him. Over time, the girls in the academy all recognized us.
Although I was severely scolded by the teacher, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise and I had the honor of meeting my wife.
After meeting Aying openly, Yinxi told me that in his heart, Aying is the best wife and he will not marry anyone else in this life.
The man is in love and the woman is willing. In the eyes of everyone, they are indeed a talented man and a beautiful woman chosen by heaven, but they are not in the eyes of Lord Jiang.
At that time, the court was in turmoil. The Zhao family faction headed by the Queen Mother and the powerful ministers faction headed by Wang Xuhan were fighting openly and secretly. The party disputes made the court quite uneasy.
The Chu family relied on Yinxi's grandfather to become a neutral party and watch from the sidelines.
But how could the two sides allow the existence of neutrality? Therefore, he often sent letters to the Chu family, intending to win over the Chu family.
The two sides fought each other until they were bloodied, but the Chu family remained unmoved.
In the blink of an eye, after much consideration and weighing, the Jiang family soon became the empress dowager's disciples.
To put it bluntly, Lord Jiang is a fence-sitter. In order to protect his career and reputation, he is willing to give up everything. To show his loyalty, he insisted on betrothing Aying to the Zhao family's illegitimate son as his wife.
This happened after Yinxi inexplicably became very hard at studying.
At first, he just wanted to gain fame and fortune so that if he married Ah Ying he wouldn't make her suffer.
Who would have thought that once the marriage contract came out, he would be forced to climb up to a higher position in order to have a chance to surpass the young master of the Zhao family.
He was gifted and his policy proposal was appreciated as soon as it was published. He passed the imperial examination and soon got an official position.
However, when he ran to the Jiang family excitedly, he was only met with humiliation.
I thought he would give up, but I didn't expect that he would do all the things he had despised before, and even knelt down and begged his grandfather, but it was still of no avail.
Ah Ying naturally liked him too.
He went around asking for recommendations but was turned down, and she also tried every possible way to refuse the marriage proposal, but to no avail.
I watched the two of them for a long time. During that period, Yinxi was even more depressed than the calamus in the corner, and there was no sign of joy at all from his passing the imperial examination.
Then came the heavy rain I mentioned earlier.
I saw with my own eyes that in the pouring rain, the two of them hugged each other tightly and did not let go for a long time.
Even if they are my friends, I would like to destroy the moral principles and ethics for them.
People who love each other should be together, right?
Later, as the wedding date drew closer, Yinxi could no longer wait and had to take the most unbearable path - he surrendered to Wang Xuhan.
I wonder where his youthful spirit has gone? Where has his vow to be a clean and independent person gone?
Thinking about it now, he was young and ignorant, and perhaps his face was completely useless to him at that time.
Not long after working for the Wang family, he met the emperor again. With Wang Xuhan's appreciation, he rose to prominence and even broke off the engagement for Aying under the reputation of the Wang family.
He was appointed to an important position in the southwest border area, and took Aying with him when he took office.
It’s a pity that I have to stay in Beijing alone. Even though I am reluctant, I have to say goodbye to them both.
When we parted, he patted me on the shoulder and said to me, "Xuan Du, it has been many years since we last met, and it is unlikely that we will meet again. Don't get lost in the world of officialdom; the business world may be your destiny."
He said this to me with a smile, but I could see that smile was even more bitter than his tears.
How can it not be bitter?
After he joined the Wang family, his grandfather was furious and punished him to kneel in the ancestral hall for three days and three nights. His back was covered with glaring red marks and new flesh. One more mark would be enough to cost him his life.
Now he is suddenly transferred to the southwest, where he is unfamiliar with the place. How much grievance will he and Aying have to endure?
But there is no turning back now, and we all know it.
After watching their carriage leave, I returned home. From then on, I relied solely on the occasional letters he sent and the gossip of the neighbors to learn about them.
In the early days, the letters were full of good news and occasional family matters.
Everything seems fine now, but unexpectedly the seeds of disaster planted by the Wang family earlier are quietly breaking out of the ground.
The bad consequences started with his reputation as an honest official who "punished evil and promoted good."
News in the capital spreads in all directions, and the news of the evil man he executed yesterday has reached the capital today.
I originally thought that punishing evil and promoting good was a good thing, but the treacherous villain he surrendered was named Zhao!
I realized that something was wrong, so I immediately handed the business over to my wife, packed my bags and headed straight to the southwest.
Sure enough, not long after I arrived, the Queen Mother's decree came down.
It was clearly a just act to eliminate harm for the people, but some people with ulterior motives fabricated it as an abuse of power and wanted him to be punished.
But Yinxi is still young and has not yet fully understood the dangers of the officialdom. The Chu family is an isolated force in the court and no one is willing to help them.
Ah Ying and I were worried about him for a long time, but all our efforts ended in failure.
At that time, Ah Ying was still pregnant. She was so exhausted by Yinxi's affairs that her face turned pale. She even wrote a letter back to Beijing to ask Lord Jiang to save her life.
How could Lord Jiang save him?
Fortunately, the Jiang family didn’t save him, but the Wang family did.
The Zhao family had been committing many evil deeds in the southwest, causing great distress to the people of the southwest. Now they were hiding in the west and eliminating the evildoers for the people, and the people were all excited. Therefore, when the decree of his conviction came, the people rose up and were determined to seek justice for him.
So, justice came.
When Wang Xuhan learned of this, he petitioned the emperor and was ordered to lead a group of elite troops to the southwest to rescue Yinxi and punish the unjust act so as not to disappoint the people.
But at that time we didn't expect that the so-called "justice" was just an excuse for them.
Yinxi was also a knife that the Wang family had buried early in this party struggle.
Wang Xuhan was ordered to lead his troops to the southwest to wipe out the Zhao family... no, to kill them all.
"Don't leave any Zhao family members alive." This is their code of conduct.
In order to accomplish this evil deed, he deliberately sent Yinxi away and dispatched troops to sneak into every corner to search for Zhao.
Every cut was merciless.
Ah Ying died unexpectedly at the hands of these beasts - in order to protect the innocent old and young members of the Zhao family, she was mistakenly killed by the lackeys of the Wang family, and the premature baby in her belly also died.
When Yinxi found her, her body was mostly stiff.
At this moment, the lotus fairy has truly left us.
So he held her and ran, crying, straight into the rain.
He fell, got up, fell, got up again... and so on. Before he could even walk a mile, he fainted from a broken heart and lay lifeless in the mud.
He was in a coma for quite a few days. I buried Ah Ying for him and I stayed with him until he woke up and regained consciousness.
I know he's sad, I know he blames himself, but even if he had killed the lackey who stabbed Ah Ying with his own hands, what would it matter? Ah Ying can't come back, she will never come back.
It was hard to imagine that overnight, a happy family of three was suddenly left with only him...
Does he still have the desire to live?
I watched over him for a long time, fearing that he would jump into the river.
Fortunately he didn't.
But he couldn't take revenge either.
It was the Wang family that destroyed him - he knew it early on, but he was isolated and helpless at the time. Even the thought of working for his enemy made him so sick that he vomited bitter saliva. As a result, he fell seriously ill and had a near-death experience.
After that, his personality changed drastically, and I never saw a smile on his face again.
The young man who used to relax with me under the pear tree, and Chu Yinxi who taught me to listen to the sound of wind and insects, has disappeared now.
Now, I am all he has.
I won't leave him again.
But he was really crazy.
One day, he got me drunk, and while I was unconscious under the influence, he resigned from his official position without permission to seek some bullshit magic!
I really lost Chu Yinxi.
When I first learned about this, I was filled with anger and went up the mountain to look for him without saying a word.
I think I was crazy at that time. I went up the mountain alone and caused chaos in the place of retreat.
No wonder the immortals were so furious with me that they ordered people to cut my tendons. Since then, I have been unable to walk freely.
Unable to climb the mountain, I gave up hope and waited in Yinxi for three years before I got the news that he had come down the mountain.
When he learned about what I had gone through, he was heartbroken and stayed by my side for decades.
I don't blame him. He doesn't need to atone for his sins. After all, his future will be difficult beyond the comprehension of the world.
After he resigned from office, Wang Xuhan abandoned him, and then sent troops to destroy the Zhao family's power, forcing the empress dowager to stay in seclusion in the harem and no longer interfere in politics.
The Wang family’s dominance was thus confirmed.
After Wang Xuhan became the prime minister, he became more and more wary of the Chu family, which had not chosen any gang in the past. In addition, Yinxi's grandfather was the "Qianjilang", so he knew that this person must not be kept.
So they set a trap and made the Chu family be accused of "treason" without any evidence, and all of them were executed.
Yinxi was lucky enough to escape the disaster because he lived in seclusion in the mountains. When he came out, the Wang family had already taken control of the country. He, a small Taoist priest, could not change the political situation.
I don't know what his plan was after that. After offering sacrifices to the entire Chu family, he opened a teahouse business and set a rather strange rule - stories in exchange for tea.
In addition, he also made up a gimmick, something like "Liuxiangju's tea soup, whoever eats it will have a happy life", I thought it was just a business tactic, so I just laughed it off.
I thought he could live a more ordinary life with this small family business, but who would have thought that he would disappear again after starting his business?
I don't care about this. At worst, I can just make up for the loss for him.
But suddenly one day, he was sitting alone in the yard, drunk and crying his heart out.
Fortunately, the smell of alcohol made him speak the truth, otherwise he would have to keep his thoughts to himself again.
He grabbed my arms, his eyes red: "Aying...Aying...I found Aying..."
I don't understand what he means - Ah Ying died a long time ago.
Then he beat his chest and stamped his feet: "No, she is not Ah Ying... They only have similar eyebrows and eyes... I saw it at the first glance..."
"What nonsense are you talking about?"
"Yun Chong..." He immediately collapsed on the table littered with cups and plates, mumbling words I couldn't understand, "A Ying... my A Ying..."
Later he set off to leave Tianling. At first I thought he was just going there to relax, so I didn't take it seriously.
Until that day I opened his booklet with "Liu Xiangju" written on the cover.
It was only then that I realized, from the traces of ink, that this wasn't a travelogue at all. This was clearly a gamble on his life!
During my questioning, he finally confessed to me that he wanted to use a secret technique to revive the soul of his deceased friend.
I can’t imagine when the young man in my memory became like this?
I am also convinced that Chu Yinxi, my only confidant in this life, has passed away along with Aying.
The indifferent man standing in front of me now has become the boss of Liuxiangju in people's mouths, Chu Mo.
I am no longer Qian Xuandu.
This time I didn't stop him. After all, a heartless person will eventually find a heart, even if it is a dead leaf, right?
To be honest, sometimes I dream about him committing suicide, and I wake up from it no less than a hundred times. Over time, I can no longer tell whether what I am seeing is a dream or reality.
More than ten years have passed. I have taken over the Qian family business for ten years and have three children to take care of me. Only he cannot get rid of the shackles of memory and cannot return to the academy where we met.
The pear blossoms in the academy bloomed and fell, fell and bloomed again, but the figure of the old friend remained forever frozen in that afternoon.
——"Xuan Du, listen."
——"Listen to what?"
——"Which of the sounds of wind and insects is not more pleasant than your worried mind?"
Yes, now I have found a way to survive, and my mind is no longer worried.
What about you?
Chu Yinxi, have you found your own way?
Oh, forget it, I don't ask him to go back to the way he was before, I just ask him...
Safety.
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