Give me a cage, its name is worry
The apartment was so large that silence became a different kind of noise. On the fourth day of Gu Yanshen's business trip, I sat alone on the cashmere carpet in the living room, gazing out the floor-to-ceiling windows at the endless stream of cars. This meticulously crafted space was like a sterile greenhouse, shielding it from all the wind and rain outside, as well as the fresh breath of life.
My phone vibrated. It was a message from him.
"What are you doing?"
I looked around the empty living room and replied, "Looking at the night view."
"Are you afraid of being alone?"
I looked at the familiar cat emoticon in the dialog box, my fingertips hovered for a moment, and finally I just replied "Not afraid".
This wasn't the first time he'd asked me this. Initially, I was overwhelmed by his thoughtful attention. But when he video-called me late at night for the third time, just to make sure I was home safe, a subtle discomfort began to creep in like a vine. Those inquiries were no longer simply expressions of concern; they felt more like gentle surveillance.
On the evening of the fifth day, the door chimed, and I almost jumped for joy as I ran to the entrance. These past few days of solitude had made me realize that without him in this space, even breathing seemed unnecessary.
He stood at the door, dusty and exhausted, holding an exquisite airline box. Inside the box, a ragdoll cat lay quietly, its blue eyes like two clear springs under the light.
"I thought you'd be bored home alone." He set down the suitcase and gently opened the door. The cat strode out gracefully, its long, snow-white fur drawing beautiful arcs in the air. "It's very docile and will make a great companion."
I squatted down and cautiously extended my finger. The cat immediately leaned over, rubbing its cheek against my fingertip affectionately, purring contentedly. At that moment, the softest part of my heart was touched. In this overly structured space, there finally was another living being, breathing and cuddling.
"Do you like it?" His voice came from above his head, with obvious pleasure.
I looked up and nodded sincerely: "I like it very much. Thank you, Brother Yan Shen."
"Give it a name." He took off his coat and loosened his tie, his eyes always looking at us gently.
I looked into those pure blue eyes and blurted out, "How about calling it Cloud? It looks like a soft cloud."
"Okay." He readily agreed. "From now on, let Yuntuan accompany you."
The early days were indeed brought to life by the arrival of the cloud. It would leap onto the bed in the early morning and lick my fingers with its barbed tongue; it would curl up quietly on my lap and doze while I read; it would chase the red dot of a laser pointer, sliding comically across the polished floor. Whenever this happened, Gu Yanshen would always look at us with a smile, his eyes so gentle they could drip tears.
"Look how much it clings to you." One day after dinner, he looked at the cloud lying on my legs and said with relief, "This way, when I'm away on business, I don't have to worry about you being lonely."
I stroked the soft fur of the cloud, and a warm feeling welled up in my heart. Yes, with this little life by my side, those times of solitude didn't seem so hard anymore.
The change happened one weekend morning. My best friend from college, Lin Wei, called and asked me to go to a long-awaited art exhibition. I happily agreed and began to prepare for the trip.
"Going out?" Gu Yanshen came out of the study with a document in his hand.
"Lin Wei asked me to go to an exhibition, the new media art exhibition I mentioned to you last time." As I said this, I put my phone and wallet into my bag.
He frowned slightly. "Today? But I've already made an appointment with the pet groomer to pick Yuntuan up at 11 o'clock."
I was stunned. "Can't we reschedule? Or should I bring it myself?"
"It's hard to get an appointment at that shop; it's a membership-based business." He walked over to me, naturally taking the bag from my hand and putting it down. "Besides, Yuntuan has been shedding a bit lately and needs professional care. I'm worried about you taking it out alone."
I looked at Yuntuan, who was enjoying herself on the cat climbing frame, and hesitated, "Then...should I tell Lin Wei to wait until another time?"
"Be good." He stroked my hair. "I'll go with you next time. Today, just stay home and take care of Yuntuan, okay?"
His tone was so gentle that it was impossible to refuse. I sent Lin Wei an apology message, and she quickly replied, "It's okay," but the disappointed emoticon still made my heart sink.
This is just the beginning.
Yuntuan's cat food is imported from a specific channel and delivered regularly by his assistant. His cat litter is an expensive Japanese brand that needs to be ordered a month in advance. Even his favorite toys are safe brands he specifies, delivered to his home in boxes. I have all of Yuntuan's companionship and intimacy, but I've gradually lost the ability to care for him independently.
What suffocated me most was that class reunion. The class monitor organized a weekend trip to a newly opened B&B in the suburbs, and the group chat was buzzing with discussion about the itinerary. Watching the vibrant conversations, I felt a long-forgotten surge of emotion.
"Brother Yan Shen," I mentioned cautiously during dinner, "this weekend our class..."
"Weekend?" He put down his knife and fork and wiped his mouth with his napkin. "I was just about to tell you that I have a golf game with Mr. Wang this weekend. You've always said you wanted to learn, right? I think I'd like to take you along."
I was stunned. I'd casually mentioned learning golf to him while watching him play, expressing my envy. I hadn't expected him to remember it.
"But my classmates..."
"We can get together anytime." He picked up his knife and fork again and cut the steak on the plate. "Besides, Yuntuan is still small and needs to be alone. I'm worried about leaving him alone at home while we're gone all day."
Clouds. Clouds again.
I lowered my head, looking at the perfectly sized steak on the plate, and suddenly my throat tightened. At that moment, I clearly realized that this cat, which he had personally given me and named "Companion," had unknowingly become another, more gentle shackle.
At night, I sat by the French window, holding Yuntuan. He slept defenselessly in my arms, his warm little body rising and falling gently with his breathing. I stroked his soft fur, but my heart was filled with a chill.
Gu Yanshen sat down beside me and naturally took me and the cat into his arms. His chin rested lightly on the top of my head, and his voice was filled with a sigh of satisfaction:
"Look, now we look like a complete family of three, don't we?"
I leaned in his arms, my body stiff.
Complete? A family of three?
Yes, him, me, and this cat he gave me to make sure I would stay at home.
The next day, I suggested taking Yuntuan to the veterinary clinic for a routine checkup. He immediately said he'd have a driver pick him up, citing "difficult parking near the hospital." When I insisted on taking a taxi, his tone remained gentle, yet firm, unwavering:
"Xiaoyu, I don't want anything to happen to you or Yuntuan. Let professionals handle professional matters, okay?"
He thought it through so thoroughly, weaving together the reasons of "for your own good" and "for the cat's good" so perfectly that any thought of "I can do it myself" seemed willful and risky.
That night, I had a nightmare. I dreamed I was running through a maze, clutching a cloud. At every turn, I encountered Gu Yanshen's gentle smile. He said, "Go home, Xiaoyu. Without me, you'll be lost."
When I woke up, Yuntuan was looking at me with worried eyes and meowing softly. I hugged him in my arms and suddenly realized a cruel truth: what he gave me was never just a pet.
It is a gentle concern that needs to be kept in a delicate cage.
What he gave me was not a pet, but a gentle concern that needed to be kept in an exquisite cage.
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