The eaves of fate and the hidden price
Looking back many years later, I was surprised to realize that all the gifts of fate had actually revealed their silent edges and corners as early as the very beginning. But at that time, I was too flustered and only focused on grabbing the only driftwood in front of me, but forgot to see what kind of heavy chains were attached to the driftwood.
Outside, the rain was pouring down, its dense raindrops pounding against the cheap hotel glass with a frightening noise. I curled up on the creaking single bed, the light from my phone screen illuminating my numb face—it was the bank's final repayment notice and a text message from the landlord demanding I vacate within three days.
Twenty-two years of life have never felt so light and fleeting as it does now. Like a piece of rain-soaked paper, it is rotting away corner by corner, silently.
The vibration of my phone woke me up. A name flashed on the screen: Gu Yanshen.
I almost held my breath and pressed the answer button.
"Xiao Yu?" His voice came through the electricity, as calm as ever, with a gentle strength that could iron out any wrinkles. "Auntie told me everything. It's raining so hard, where are you now?"
But with just one simple greeting, all my pretense of strength crumbled. The sobs stuck in my throat, unable to utter a single syllable. Only my rapid breathing betrayed my distress.
"Don't be afraid." He sighed, his tone filled with undeniable concern. "Send me your location. Wait where you are. I'll be there soon. As a girl, don't try to be stubborn at a time like this."
"At this time" - he could always define my situation so accurately, and with an attitude that was doing it for my own good, he would define all my "perseverance" as inappropriate "showing off".
Half an hour later, his black Bentley Mulsanne glided silently into the dilapidated alleyway surrounding the hotel. Like an elegant beast straying into the slums, it stood out against the gray walls and overflowing trash cans. He pushed open the car door and approached, holding a large black umbrella. He was dressed in a suit and tie, his posture erect. The rain splashed obediently around his feet, utterly undisturbed by his composure.
I was dragging that small suitcase with creaky wheels, standing under the dirty eaves, soaking wet and shivering with cold. At that moment, I felt that what separated him and me was not just a few steps of rain, but an entire world that I could not cross.
He walked quickly to me, tilting his umbrella toward me without hesitation, exposing most of his shoulders to the cold rain. He looked down at me, his brows slightly furrowed, his eyes devoid of the pity or contempt I'd recently become accustomed to, only a deep, heartbreaking pity.
"How did it become like this?" His warm fingers brushed across the cold liquid on my cheek, which I couldn't tell whether it was rain or tears. His movements were so natural, as if he had practiced them countless times. "Let's go, let's get out of here first."
A warm feeling, accompanied by a profound sense of security, washed over me, and I almost followed his lead. But at that moment, a shred of my remaining pride pricked me. I couldn't just take this for granted. I couldn't let him think I was a burden waiting to be rescued.
My feet were nailed to the spot, my fingers tightly gripping the rough handle of the suitcase. I mustered all my courage to raise my head. My voice was as soft as a mosquito, but it held a persistence that surprised even myself:
"Brother Yan Shen...thank you. But, but...I've already contacted a good friend. I'll just stay at Xiaoyou's house for a few days. Really...I can't trouble you anymore."
After saying this, I almost didn't dare to look into his eyes, my heart was filled with a mixture of stubbornness and uneasiness.
He paused and turned to look at me. He didn't speak immediately, but simply stared at me quietly, his gaze deep, as if trying to see through my forced calmness and the panic and helplessness within. He wasn't angry, not even a hint of displeasure on his face. Instead, he softly asked in a tone that was almost compassionate and extremely gentle:
"Xiaoyou? Is that the friend...whose family is also struggling with debt right now?"
I froze, as if struck by a silent lightning bolt. How could he know about Xiaoyou? How could he know her family was in trouble? A chill, as if an invisible hand had seen through my every detail, crept up my spine.
He seemed to see through my momentary shock and fear. He patiently explained word by word, his tone as gentle as if he were teaching an ignorant child: "Auntie is worried about you, so she told me all the friends you might contact. Xiaoyu, be obedient."
He reached out and, naturally and with irresistible force, took the handle of the cheap suitcase from my hand. When his warm fingertips inevitably touched the back of my cold hand, I suddenly let go as if I had been burned.
"Don't make other people's already difficult lives worse." He stared into my eyes, his voice low and full of soothing power, but like the most precise scalpel, it cut open the most fragile conscience in my heart. "You don't want to do that either, right?"
——You don’t want to either, right?
These words, so light and airy, were like a boulder, crashing down upon the shaky defenses I'd painstakingly built. A wave of intense self-blame washed over me. Yes, Xiaoyou was already in such a state of turmoil, why should I burden her with it? Was my insistence, defending my pitiful self-esteem, truly too willful and immature?
My last bit of weak struggle seemed so ridiculous and so ungrateful in the face of his impeccable and gentle analysis that was "for my own good."
I lowered my head in silence, no longer arguing, and followed his footsteps toward the car that symbolized another world. The flame of resistance had barely ignited before it was completely extinguished beneath the sand called "gentleness."
Inside the car, warm, dry air enveloped me, filled with the pleasant aroma of leather and a crisp, woody accord. I sat stiffly, my damp, cheap clothes jarringly out of place in this luxurious haven, making me want to shrink even smaller. The world outside the car window rapidly receded, the blurred neon lights in the rain a stark reminder of my uncertain future.
"I'm transferring some money to my aunt for emergency purposes, so she can rest assured." He drove steadily, his tone as calm as if he were discussing the weather. "What are your plans next?"
Plans? I stared blankly out the window. The future I once thought was clear had shattered the moment my family went bankrupt. I didn't even know where I was going to sleep tonight, so how could I even have plans?
He seemed to read the answer in my blank eyes. After a brief silence, he said in a measured tone, as if he had weighed everything for me: "How about this? My apartment in the city center is vacant. It has a combination lock. You can move in first, and you won't have to bother carrying a key."
I looked up suddenly and watched his smooth driving profile in disbelief.
"No...Brother Yan Shen, this is too much trouble for you, how can I..."
"Xiaoyu," he interrupted me gently, his voice carrying an irrefutable force, "now is not the time to be willful. Do you want to continue living in a place like this, or drag your suitcase to a youth hostel that costs dozens of yuan a night?"
He once again accurately portrayed the even worse situation I might face, which was in stark contrast to the gorgeous "cage" behind me.
The car pulled into the basement of the city's most prestigious apartment building. The elevator climbed silently to the top floor. His slender fingers entered the code, and the door swung open.
Everything in front of me made me speechless in an instant.
Outside the enormous floor-to-ceiling windows, the city's dazzling nightscape unfolded, the rain transforming it into a flowing, luxurious sea of light. The living room, spacious enough to fit my entire previous home, was decorated in the ultimate modern minimalist style, with every line and every object exuding an air of "expensive" and "taste." It was so clean, so perfect, so perfect it felt like a cold exhibition hall, or perhaps... a meticulously appointed model apartment.
A slight dizziness washed over me. Far from giving me a sense of security, the overwhelming space and magnificent scenery surged over me like a tide, bringing a near-suffocating sense of oppression. I subconsciously took a half step back, my heel slamming painfully against the threshold.
"You'll live here from now on." Gu Yanshen placed my small suitcase on the mirror-like entrance floor. The small suitcase looked so shabby and out of place at that moment. "The bedroom is on the left. There are new towels and toiletries in the bathroom. I asked someone to fill the refrigerator. You can make whatever you want to eat."
He walked to the bar, poured me a glass of warm water, and handed it to me. His fingertips accidentally touched the back of my hand, bringing a subtle shiver to my heart.
"From now on, treat this place as your home." He looked at me with a gentle, intoxicating smile on his lips, and then said the words that firmly anchored my future here:
"Stay at ease, I'll take care of everything."
His voice was deep, clear, and full of convincing power. "I'm responsible for everything"—these four words, spoken with a tone that sounded almost like an oath, struck me hard in the heart.
Like the sweetest poison, mixed with the precious fragrance in the air, it instantly dissipated all my anxieties, doubts, and that momentary dizziness. After enduring so much indifference and having nowhere else to turn, this sudden, incredibly solid refuge made me want to hold on tightly, like a drowning man grabbing driftwood, never to let go.
I held the cup of warm water, the warmth from my fingertips seeming to spread all the way to my frozen heart. I looked out the window at the sea of light that once seemed so far away, now it seemed as if it were right under my feet.
At that moment, my heart was filled with only humble gratitude for surviving a catastrophe. I was grateful for his generosity, his gentleness, and for holding up this magnificent roof for me during the darkest moment of my life.
I naively thought that fate had finally shown me mercy.
I once thought I had grabbed a life-saving straw, but later I realized that all the roofs given by fate had a price tag already secretly marked on them.
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