"I didn't care about Mingyan when I spoke," Fu Changling reminded him. "I'm afraid Mingyan recognized my voice."
"No problem."
Qin Yan said calmly, "He won't say anything nonsense."
Fu Changling nodded, clutching the quilt. The silence allowed him to slowly calm down. He looked up at Qin Yan, with many questions he wanted to ask, but because he had so much to say and ask, he couldn't say anything.
He has always been good with words, but at this moment he lost his composure.
Knowing the origin of the Rebirth Flower was a huge shock to him. He didn't know why Qin Yan did this, why he sacrificed so much for him, and he even had some thoughts that he shouldn't have.
He wanted to ask him why he did this.
I also wanted to persuade him that there was no need to do all this.
He pondered this for a moment, then Qin Yan knelt down to one side, quietly sipping his tea. After a moment, he swallowed the tea and said, "You've been unconscious for two days. I've already taken care of everything that needed to be done. You can rest assured. Next, we need to find the other two meridian seals. Once they're in place, the matter of the Karma Prison will be over."
"Um."
Fu Changling lowered his head and responded. Qin Yan paused while drinking his tea. After a moment's hesitation, he raised his eyes and said, "There's something I don't know if I should ask."
Hearing this, Fu Changling suddenly had a premonition, feeling that the words he wanted to say and the questions he wanted to ask might soon have a place to go. He lowered his head and whispered, "Ask."
"Thank you, Lord, for the merits of this world." Qin Yan pursed his lips. "Why do you have merits of this world?"
"I once told you that Yunze's spiritual energy would be exhausted in the future." Fu Changling looked at the small fan that opened and closed, and whispered, "After Yunze's spiritual energy was exhausted, I tried every possible way, but in desperation," Fu Changling smiled and looked up at Qin Yan with a bit of helplessness in his eyes, "I could only use my spiritual power to restore Yunze's energy. Unfortunately, although I am in the late stage of tribulation, I can only support Yunze for ten years. After I die, I don't know what will happen to Yunze."
This was not the first time Qin Yan had heard about Yunze's spiritual energy being depleted. The last time he heard it, his reaction was obviously much greater. However, this time, after listening to it, he did not make any big moves. He lowered his head and looked at the tea leaves floating in the teacup with a calm expression.
After a long while, he said, "So, you come from the future."
"yes."
Fu Changling didn't hide anything. He looked ahead and said calmly, "I'm a reborn person. I've already lived a life."
Qin Yan was not surprised when he heard this. He looked at Fu Changling quietly. After a long time, he slowly stood up, put his hands in front of him, and saluted Fu Changling.
Fu Changling was stunned. "What are you doing?"
"You have protected Yunze with your life. I am one of the living beings in Yunze, so I should perform this ritual."
Hearing this, Fu Changling couldn't help but laugh. He looked at Qin Yan and said with some sadness, "When I saved Yunze, do you know where you were? Why did you do this to me?"
Qin Yan raised his eyes to look at him. Fu Changling stared at him and said in a hoarse voice, "By then, I had already killed you."
Qin Yan frowned. Fu Changling didn't dare to look away. He watched every expression on his face closely and said in a tight voice, "You were already dead by then. I am the one who should apologize and bow. It's me, not you."
Qin Yan listened, and after a brief thought, he finally said, "So, you have been following me all this time, just for this?"
Fu Changling was a little confused, so Qin Yan continued to explain, "You feel that you owe me something by killing me, so you have been following me."
"I?"
"Then why did you kill me?"
Qin Yan asked, and Fu Changling was stunned. Qin Yan's calm eyes looked at him quietly, and he only said, "Please tell me the truth."
"You..." Fu Changling couldn't tell a lie under that gaze, and could only say, "You later became a demon cultivator and killed many people."
"So, killing me is in accordance with the laws of nature," Qin Yan continued. Fu Changling was choked up and speechless. Then he listened to Qin Yan and said, "If that's the case, how have you wronged me?"
"I am responsible for all the evil and disasters I have caused. All the consequences I have suffered are my own fault. You have been reborn, so why should you feel guilty about seeing me?"
All of these are true.
These were the words he had told himself countless times in his previous life.
Qin Yan's fate was his own fault; he had done nothing wrong. But when those words resurfaced, when he knew the crimes this man had shouldered for him, when he witnessed with his own eyes the man being devoured by a hundred thousand wronged souls in the Ten Thousand Bones Cliff, when he learned that he had once clothed himself in white, fed ghosts with his own body, and endured the hatred of a nation all by himself, he felt them like a knife, scraping at his heart.
"No."
He said in a low voice, "You are not that kind of person. Is this all because of me?"
As he spoke, thunder sounded outside and Qin Yan looked at him quietly.
Fu Changling lowered his eyes, clutching the fan in his hand tightly, and said with difficulty, "It's all because of me. You have suffered too much injustice. You were wronged. You stayed in Wangu Cliff for a hundred years. You saved a hundred thousand people from hatred. No one can remain calm in such a time. You can't be blamed for your fall into the devil's way, right?"
"Did I become a demon cultivator because of the injustice I encountered?"
Qin Yan continued to ask, but Fu Changling didn't say anything.
He doesn't know.
Regarding Qin Yan's previous life, he knew almost nothing about how he became a demon cultivator. He never knew how he became a demon king, and only gradually learned about what he had done in this life.
Qin Yan looked at him and said calmly, "There are many people in this world who have encountered injustice. If they lose their Tao heart because of despair caused by encountering injustice, how can they blame others?"
Fu Changling was stunned. Qin Yan looked at him, his expression shifting. He remained silent for a long time before he controlled the strangeness in his voice and continued, "You are a gentleman."
"Because you have a sense of justice," he continued, "you feel resentful about killing me. I don't know what I thought in my previous life, but since I lost my conscience and committed evil deeds, then killing me is only natural and you don't need to feel guilty. On the contrary, if I really go that far and you really kill me,"
He paused and said slowly, "I'm very grateful."
Fu Changling remained silent, staring blankly at the brocade patterns embroidered on the quilt. From outside came the sound of muffled thunder, mixed with the patter of rain, as if it were falling all the way into their hearts.
Qin Yan looked at him for a moment, then he slowed down his voice and said, "You're tired too. Rest first. We'll set off tomorrow."
As he spoke, he turned around, his white robe drawing an arc in the light. Before he could take a step, he heard someone behind him mutter, "Why do you think I used my spiritual power to restore Yunze's Qi?"
Qin Yan paused. A strong wind suddenly blew open the window, blowing out the lights in the house with dead leaves. Lightning illuminated the night sky, casting the shadows of the two people on the wall.
They were very close, but one of them didn't turn around and the other didn't look up.
After the lightning, thunder rumbled. Amidst the thunder, Fu Changling whispered, "That's because you're dead."
"You're dead," he said, feeling a great peace in his heart. He lowered his head and spoke calmly, "My family is dead. Everyone in this world I cared about, everyone who cared about me, is gone. I'm living alone, and there's no meaning."
"You killed my family, I hate you."
"It's what I should do." Qin Yan's voice was hoarse.
"So I killed you with my own hands, and then I hated myself."
Fu Changling said, clenching his fists. "Now that I'm reborn and see you now, I know what you did in your last life, Qin Yan. I can't even find a reason to comfort myself."
"You're tired."
Qin Yan suddenly spoke up, interrupting him and saying, "I'll go back first!"
"Listen!"
Fu Changling grabbed Qin Yan's sleeves, tightly gripping the wide white sleeves in his hands, and said hoarsely, "In the last life, you liked me."
Thunder and lightning rumbled outside. Qin Yan stopped in his tracks and didn't move. He listened to Fu Changling say, "You met me in the Xuanji Secret Realm and you saved me. I destroyed my golden elixir in order to open the Xuanji Secret Realm formation, so you took the blame for it. You told others that you were the one who opened the Xuanji Secret Realm formation, and then you were nailed to your bones in the Jinguang Temple for a year."
"Then you went to the Cliff of Ten Thousand Bones to fetch the Rebirth Flower for me. You stayed at the bottom of the cliff alone for a hundred years, saving a hundred thousand souls."
"You like me."
His voice was hoarse and trembling. "You like me so much. But I don't know. I don't know anything."
I don’t know what he has been through, and I don’t know how miserable his life has become.
He told everything he knew, everything about him and Qin Yan. He talked about the glass of wine he drank on the day of his funeral in Hongmeng Palace, and the lamp in Wuqiu Palace with his name engraved on it.
He said so much, but Qin Yan just lowered his head and listened.
Everything Fu Changling said...
He remembers everything he knows and everything he doesn't know.
He didn't want to listen.
He didn't want anyone to mention this embarrassing past that should have been buried, forgotten long ago.
But he couldn't move his feet. He seemed to be under a spell, standing there quietly, listening to the man's confession from that year.
He didn't know what he was waiting for until the last moment, when he finally heard Fu Changling's low and hoarse voice.
"I like you."
His voice was so soft, mixed in with the sound of wind and thunder, that it was almost inaudible.
"I shouldn't have said this. After all, this happened in my last life. But in my last life, I said it too late, and so we missed each other for thirty years."
"It might be useless if I tell you too early," Fu Changling said with a hint of self-mockery in his voice. He raised his head, looked at the figure who had never turned back, and said hoarsely, "But I must at least let you know that I like you. If you are willing, I am willing to go through everything in this world with you."
"I was willing to accompany you in the bone-piercing nail back then."
"I'm willing to accompany you to the Ten Thousand Bone Cliff back then."
"If you had told me when you fell into evil and destroyed your way," Fu Changling's voice choked with sobs, "I would have been willing to accompany you."
Qin Yan listened quietly. He looked at the swaying branches in front of him, and watched the raindrops hitting them. He opened his eyes and said calmly, "I'm sorry."
Fu Changling shuddered slightly. He suddenly understood what Qin Yan was going to say. His hand that was pinching his sleeve trembled slightly. Then he heard Qin Yan say, "I'm used to being alone. I don't need anyone else to accompany me. And I think," he lowered his voice, "you don't mean to say these words to me."
"You..." Fu Changling looked up at him, his expression suddenly changing. "What do you mean?"
"Junior brother," Qin Yan could hear the fear in his voice, but he still spoke the truth, "The person you love is Qin Yan from your previous life."
"And I'm not."
Qin Yan turned around and looked at him quietly. "I won't go to Jinguang Temple to atone for your sins just because I like you, nor will I go to Wangu Cliff alone to get the flowers of rebirth for you because of love. What you are moved by and what you love are not my actions, and I will never do these things in my life."
"But you are him," Fu Changling said, "You will experience everything he has experienced, you will do everything he wants to do, you..."
"Does that include liking you?"
Qin Yan interrupted him, and Fu Changling paused. He stared at Qin Yan blankly. Qin Yan didn't show any mud or water, and said crisply, "But, Fu Changling..."
He spoke, his voice clear and calm, "I will never like you in my life."
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