2024-Atlantis No. 2326-Land-based Harbor Seal Maintenance Risk Notice
Risk Name: Risk of brain stiffness and slow thinking in land-dwelling harbor seals by the end of November 2024
Risk level: C (acceptable risk)
Valid from: November 30, 2024 to December 4, 2024
Published by: Atlantis Land-based Marine Biological Cultivation, Sheltering, and Care Center
Risk Overview: According to the latest thought monitoring analysis report, after completing the "Golden Leaf Brawl" arc, the terrestrial spotted seal Wang-2326 developed a series of symptoms, including slowed thinking, dry brain structure, and loss of eye highlights. These symptoms were accompanied by a series of adverse reactions, including increased body fat percentage, decreased exercise frequency, and increased food intake. The Marine Biological Research Center (hereinafter referred to as the Center) assesses this as a low-invasive risk. If continued at this operating level, it could produce a series of works that are incoherent, illogical, emotionally weak, and with both short-term and long-term short-circuiting potentials. This would harm the minds of a wide range of terrestrial readers, pollute existing online databases, and significantly impact the Center's reputation.
Situation Investigation: Further investigation by experts at the Center revealed that the underlying cause of this risk stems from the terrestrial spotted seal, King-2326, disguising himself as a shrimp. In terrestrial society, adult shrimp are required to regularly produce a series of toxins, including nonsensical reports, clichéd presentations, and useless research documents, all of which are severely detrimental to their physical and mental health, in exchange for funding. Otherwise, they face the hardships of living outdoors. Multiple studies have shown that this complex toxin poses a serious threat to the physical and mental health of spotted seals, earning it the nickname "ban poison."
As the year draws to a close, major shrimp farming bases are setting annual targets. The production of "banpox" has skyrocketed to 1.5 to 2 times its usual level, directly leading to this risk. The center has attempted speech therapy, but with limited success. The following audio recording of the seal during the treatment is available:
"After finishing these three tables... why the hell are there five more?"
"Nm, why are these people on business trips at the end of the year? I can't take it anymore. Tonight's diet meal is cancelled."
"Team leader, you f—what team leader? You worked overtime until twelve o'clock last night. Oh, it's okay. Sorry to bother you. I just wanted to say thank you for your hard work and wish my mother good health."
"Quack, why is there another report? I have to order some milk tea."
"I haven't been to the gym this week... I'm dying..."
…(After being weighed, he remained silent for approximately five minutes)
"Haha, hahahahahahahahaha, yeah!!!"
Experts at the center have determined that the terrestrial spotted seal Wang-2326 requires emergency maintenance. It is currently planned to return to the Illusionary Sea for a three-day outage. Whether this plan will be implemented awaits a response from the Cyber Shrimp Farm.
Palindrome update:
"Disapproved. Unit 2326 has already taken its annual leave for the year." — Excerpt from the Cyber Shrimp Farming Base's reply, "Approval of the Base's Application for Suspension of Operations for Unit 2326."
Based on the scheduled maintenance schedule and actual conditions, Wang-2326, a land-based spotted seal, has been scheduled for emergency maintenance under working conditions. The maintenance is expected to last five days. Upon completion, the seal is expected to be able to produce normal text. Whether the text quality has improved remains to be seen.
Maintenance precautions during and after maintenance:
1. Updates for the land-dwelling spotted seal Wang-2326 will be suspended from November 30 (this Saturday) to December 4 (next Wednesday), and are expected to resume on December 5.
2. Improve the diet of King-2326, a land-dwelling spotted seal, urge him to exercise more, and weigh himself weekly.
3. During the above period, readers may hear seals screaming or accusing them of being abused. Please be careful to identify false alarms, as this is a necessary treatment step.
4. If you have any comments or suggestions, please send a message in a bottle to the center for feedback. Conch shell: Guapu Guagua·Ah Guagua.
5. If you are dissatisfied, you can pat the seal's belly, "pa pa pa pa pa".
(End of this chapter)
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