Chapter 290: Bad Movie Carnival (Part 2)
Led by Li Ke, a group of animals, both large and small, stood at the bookstore entrance. Each of these uninvited guests clutched discs and books, their faces distorted with terrifying smiles, many licking their lips in excitement. A powerful aura emanated from their contents, an indescribable, eerie atmosphere so repulsive it sent the remaining sentient creatures retreating ten meters!
Regardless of their Sephiroth level, everyone felt a chill. What could have happened? What terrifying thing could have caused so many Transformers to break out in cold sweats?!
The manager of Bang Bang Crucian Carp raised his fin high and cheered, "The end-of-month bad movie carnival has begun! Contestants, please enter!"
The shop assistants played fast and passionate music, and Miss Li Ke rushed in, holding up the crystal in her hand. "The end of hard work is defeat. Without your leadership, we can win! 'Shanghai Whistle III' is here!"
A little hippopotamus tossed up a comic strip featuring a chainsaw and declared passionately, "Who said the pacing was bad?! This comic is so well-drawn! Every week is a climax, and every month there's a heartfelt scene, with unprecedented developments every time! 'Train Man 2' joins the fray!"
"Do you know how strong a wrestler is? Witness the twenty years of accumulation of comedy comics." A sturdy slime-like creature made four strong movements, "'Blade of Blades 2' is here~~~"
"A stab and a dive, all in one go, a stunning palm strike at the grave, this is my perfect revenge." The blue-haired donkey howled, "The strongest idol comic, 'My Pulled Child' joins the fight!"
The leopard cat waiter stood on the donkey and showed the card: "Lovers eventually become mother and son, and duels bring smiles. The manga and animation each have their own amazing points. This is our "Hair King A5"."
"It's been restarted year after year, and the books are coming out one after another! It's been serialized for ten years and now it's been abandoned again!" An earth dragon angrily picked up the thick book, "'Poppy Family' deserves a place."
"There's no point in playing a game like this. It has the worst male lead in the series' history." A sparrow pulled out a game disc. "Here comes 'Real Carrot vs. K'!"
Behind it was a black-feathered crow, clutching the anime disc and screaming miserably: "The big one is coming! The big one is really coming next week! As long as Lily is here, everything can be forgiven! Please watch 'The Demonic Raccoon of Saturn'!"
"The whole point of family heroism is to form bonds. What's this thing? Just throw it away!" The green duck quacked. "Masked Rider Thursday," witness the ultimate high-opening, low-closing performance.
"Flamethrower, four arms, and a timer. The worse it gets, the more funny it is. A single cut in half is world-famous!" The owl flapped its wings. "Last year's most talked-about film, 'Magic Kaisen.' Will it win? It will!"
Manager Bang Bang Crucian took over the conversation, flashing a comic book like he was presenting a treasure: "The other side of the sea has a bad ending! We don't want that! 'Attack of the Dwarves' is bound to win the championship!"
The animals entered one by one, each carrying their own treasures and carefully prepared entrance speeches. The lights in the bookstore flickered back and forth, creating a lively atmosphere. Later, masterpieces such as "The Last of the Dead 2" and "Masked Rider 01" were showcased one after another, and the small seafood bookstore was filled with powerful people.
Everyone looked at their opponents with solemn expressions. Rico smacked her lips, "I didn't expect there would be so many experts this month... It looks like it's going to be a tough battle."
The big seal rolled around in the pool: [Quack! I don’t want to see it, I don’t want to see it!!]
Chu Hengkong got goosebumps all over his body, and a layer of cold sweat broke out on his back. Ji Huaisu looked curious: "What's wrong, Kong? Why do you have such an expression?"
"Huaisu, you don't know." Chu Hengkong said in a heavy tone, "Every work that appears here has its own unique skills. Whether it is shocking, boring, illogical, or malicious... Regardless of the average quality, they all bring a considerable degree of impact to the audience, and that impact is so deep that it can be said to be unforgettable for a lifetime!"
Ji Huaisu was horrified when he heard this: "That is to say..."
"They're all rubbish!" Chu Hengkong said flatly, "Their influence in the rubbish world is as terrifying as the legends among the Transformers!"
Vander was quite surprised: "Why are you eating X here..."
Ms. Rico was the first to pull up a chair and sit down. She stretched out her long legs and began to eat popcorn. "Little Squid, you don't know this, but people are fickle. When you eat too much good food, you need to eat something else to change your appetite. You'll always get tired of reading masterpieces, but if you finish a shockingly bad one, everything you see will seem beautiful."
"That's the purpose of the Bad Movie Carnival." Bang Bang Crucian carp chimed in, "Watching the bad ones helps us appreciate the good ones!"
"Delicious, I love it!" "I can't live without this." "Let's start! I can't wait!"
As the little animals chatted, Chu Hengkong learned that this Bad Movie Carnival was a regular monthly event in the bookstore. The original intention seemed to be to recall the past and cultivate everyone's tolerance for the works, but now judging by the atmosphere, it seems to have cultivated a different and unique group of enthusiasts.
The intensity of the bad movie carnival at the end of this month seems to be particularly high.
"God has mercy on us, we just had a really big bite last season..." Li Ke's face was filled with misery. "Everyone has been hit so hard that we're all gathered here to soothe our pain with bad movies."
"Ms. Rico is right." "It's crazy and perverted." "Let's start soon, I can't wait!" The little animals joined in.
The crucian carp began adjusting the water curtain, preparing to vote on the next bad movie to be shown. A large seal leaped from the pool, dragging its fat body, a cricket pupa, up the stairs, announcing an emergency evacuation. The venomous otter chuckled at the sight.
"It claims not to watch," the poisonous otter told people, "but halfway through, it can't resist its curiosity and secretly follows from upstairs. In the end, it's so poisoned that it's struck by lightning and lets out a shrill wail."
"You understand it very well." Ji Huaisu said.
"It's a monthly show, I'm used to it." Poison Otter walked up the stairs with a glass of wine. "Hehehe, but I definitely won't participate in this event. I want to drink from the wailing of those idiots upstairs."
Seeing that Dudu Otter was about to evacuate the disaster site, Vander patted Gulbo. Gulbo rushed up the stairs, his face full of enthusiasm: "Editor, since everyone is watching the movie, why don't you try the female music cartoon I brought you!"
The editor, Dudu Otter, looked embarrassed and said politely, "I'll tell you when I have time..."
"That movie is amazing. It's a shame to see it a day late," Gulibo encouraged. "When I was buying the film at Huilong City, I saw two groups of fans fighting each other at the door. They were so enthusiastic just to buy the hardcover edition!"
"This sounds more like a fight between extreme fans."
"And it has a lot of your favorite elements from the previous game!" Gulbo urged. "It's said there's also a performance by the band from the previous game, and it was so emotional that even longtime fans cried!"
The venomous otter's ears perked up at the words, convinced. It pondered, "Is there still a concert for the previous work?"
"Yes, yes, look, look, it's absolutely beautiful!"
Dudu Otter was initially skeptical, but seeing Gulibo's beaming face, he changed his mind. Why would a little white mouse deliberately harm you? He found the "Dream Girl Music" that Gulibo had brought back and said with a smile, "Since you recommend it so strongly, I'll give it a try. If it's not interesting, I'll send you out to collect materials."
"Don't worry, it will definitely be a surprise!" Gulibo assured, patting his chest.
Chu Hengkong also loved watching animation, so he followed over to join in the fun: "Do you mind watching it together?"
"Why not? Instead of watching bad movies, your time should be spent on movies worth watching."
Dudutao led him up to the sixth floor, to the editor's private screening room. The room was so soundproofed that he could barely hear anything around him. The single sofa was as comfortable as the seat in a luxury car.
Poison Otter placed the image crystal, thought for a moment, and then went to the wine cabinet to get a bottle of fine wine. It nestled comfortably on the sofa and asked, "Inspector Chu, have you seen the previous film?"
"I don't often read works about girl bands." Chu Hengkong shrugged.
"I was also initially skeptical, but the quality of the previous film is truly high. Its meticulously crafted character relationships transcend the subject matter and captivate the audience," Dudu Otter said with relish. "Because of my profession, I've seen many works, but even so, the previous film was enough to convince me—it's an interesting and serious work, which is particularly valuable in this era."
"But you're deliberately not watching the sequel?"
Poison Otter sighed. "No matter what, there's no such thing as a perfect film. The sequel's direction is too radical, seemingly a stark departure from the original. And the discussion about the film deteriorated after it became a hit... A good portion of the terrible films listed below are sequels. I hardly have high hopes for sequels."
"However, there are also sequels that are even better than the original," Chu Hengkong said, "like 'Blade Teeth 2' and 'Fanma Blade Teeth', whose overall quality is far superior to the original. It's a pity to give up the opportunity to appreciate excellent works because of one-sided concerns."
"Inspector Chu is right." Dudu Otter poured him a glass as well. "It's rare that Gulibo gives me a guarantee. I want to see what the sequel to Female Music is like..."
The video crystal began playing, opening with a performance resembling a stage play. Five masked girls performed a short theatrical performance before beginning to sing. Chu Hengkong commented as he watched, "A bit of a middle school student."
"This band's theme is puppet theater," commented the Poison Otter editor. "The opening performance was a bit awkward, but the songs were pretty good..."
After the performance, there was a quick conflict scene, a hard-fought story of the band's core. After that, the band, which seemed to have little emotion, had frequent internal conflicts. At the end, the girls took off their masks and revealed their true faces, which shocked the audience.
"This mask was taken off at the end of just one episode. What's the point of it still existing?" Chu Hengkong laughed.
"This should be a tribute to the first episode of the previous game..." Dudu Otter hesitated, "But it's a bit forced, let's see."
Another while passed.
"Are you sure this is a girl band?"
"In theory."
Chu Hengkong stared at the green-haired woman with a split personality on the screen in a daze: "Then why does she have multiple personalities?"
"Well, I'm also confused." Dudu Otter was stunned. "What's going on?"
The story then takes a sharp turn, focusing on multiple personalities, and the expressions of the two audience members become even more exciting. At the same time, the heavy family background and family relationships carried by the blue-haired girl at the core of the band also begin to surface...
·
On the first floor of the bookstore, Gulibo, who was watching a bad movie, couldn't stop laughing: "I can't take it anymore! What the hell are the last few chapters of "Magic Kaisen" about?"
"The greatest comedic comic of recent years is no joke."
"Do you like me to have a meeting to share the blame after defeating the villain~"
The little animals were eating with such joy that the big seal, peeping from upstairs, laughed uncontrollably. Rico took advantage of the break between films to pry for gossip: "Tell me what film did you give the otter? It seems he's so interested."
Gulibo said proudly: "It's the sequel to the Dream Girl Music series, which is my favorite work by the editor Dudu Otter, Boo!"
As soon as these words were spoken, the hall fell silent. The crystal in the crucian carp's hand fell to the ground with a bang. The little animals who were eating it happily before looked at it as if they had accidentally eaten the real thing.
"No, no, no, no, it can't be." Bang Bang Crucian Carp said tremblingly, "Shen Yin Ge Kui, right?"
Gulibo nodded repeatedly: "Yes, Bo... Why do you have such expressions?"
The sound of sucking air can be heard one after another. The little animals are trembling on the spot, begging for mercy incessantly: "No!" "I don't want to eat female music!" "Gulibo, are you crazy?" "Why are you torturing the editor like this!"
Gulibo turned around in confusion. "What, what's going on, Bo?! Doesn't the editor always like female musicians?"
Li Ke looked at Gulibo with the same eyes as she looked at the terrifying devil.
"You, you really don't know? You really don't know what we are reunited here to heal?"
"Bo?"
"Everyone here watched Shen Yin Ge Kui last season," Li Ke shuddered. "We've always done a good job of keeping information secret and never discussing topics related to female music with Otter. Because Shen Yin Ge Kui... is a combination of a series of crazy elements: schizophrenic high school students fighting against chaebols, internal exclusion of close relatives, female lesbians, repression and catharsis, and the collapse of their character..."
Rico took a deep breath. "The worst anime of last season!!!"
Fander quietly slipped out the door. Gulibo froze on the sofa for three seconds, then suddenly jumped up and rushed upstairs: "Oh no! Editor, don't look at this! Editor, stop it! Bo--!!"
However, the editor's private studio was on the sixth floor, and Gulibo's short legs made this long staircase a desperate journey. When he pushed the door open and tried to persuade the editor to stop, it was too late.
It could only watch as Inspector Chu and the editor stared at the water curtain with the eyes of a psychopath. The film just happened to be showing a shocking scene. On the big screen, the blonde female lead singer who had seemed mysterious and mature before was lying on the ground like a dog, howling wildly, crawling all over the floor, and shouting: "Baby elephant! Baby elephant!"
Gulbo was so frightened that his entire body went cold, as if he had fallen into an icy cave. The next moment, he saw something even scarier than a bad movie: the face of a terrifying poisonous otter slowly gazing toward the door.
“Gu…li…bo…!”
"No! Help! The editor is killing people—"
More deafening than any bad movie is Gulibo’s panicked scream.
·
Ten minutes later.
"Editor, please forgive me. I won't dare to do it again."
Gulibo was suspended by a hemp rope in the center of the hall, facing the big screen with the best vantage point. The little animals hid in the corners of the bookstore, trembling. The editor of Dudu Otter personally came out and selected a king of bad movies, the most famous and offensive one, for him.
——"Zootopia 2"!
"Watch the first season first, then the second season. If you don't finish watching them, don't even think about getting this month's salary." Dudu Otter said expressionlessly.
Gulibo screamed miserably: "Help! This is torture! I don't want to see this, ahbo!!"
Chu Hengkong shuddered slightly. Ji Huaisu asked curiously, "Who is this person?"
"This... is probably the worst cartoon in the past ten years. It's not even on the same level as the ones before..."
Several of the onlookers couldn't help but run into the toilet to vomit, and the rest of the audience let out hellish screams. Ji Huaisu tutted his lips and said, "Uh, Gulibo, you're on your own."
In conclusion, Gulbo's torment didn't end until late at night. A certain little animal regretfully lost its quarterly performance bonus, and because the psychological trauma inflicted by this month's Bad Movie Carnival was so severe, even the most ardent fans of bad films were turned off, and the next month's Bad Movie Carnival was canceled.
The big seal said: It’s not a bad thing.
(Diejia: The bad movies mentioned in this chapter are all jokes, intended to create a show effect. The author has no ill will towards any of the works mentioned in this chapter, and has absolutely no intention of offending fans. Please don't take it too seriously and be kind.)
(End of this chapter)
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