Navy Seal vs. Nian (Five-day hiatus)
Hello, dear readers and friends, I am the familiar spotted seal 2326. I would like to wish you all a happy new year. Dongdongdong!
What? You said the Lunar New Year is over today? What you don't know is that due to a family obligation passed down from generation to generation among the spotted seals, we always have to wait until after the Lantern Festival to greet everyone. Let me tell you the whole story...
It's said that long, long ago, before the Emperor of the Empire of Truth rose to power, and the time in the world of Shendong had yet to be unified. Some islands were hosting barbecue parties in December, while others had already entered collective hibernation. Everyone lived their own lives, refusing to interact with each other until death. It was a peaceful and harmonious life.
Back then, the harbor seals would collectively take a break from work and school at the end of December. We'd nestle in our soft, comfy comforters, enjoying fried hairtail, shredded radish meatballs, Spanish mackerel dumplings, sweet and sour pork tenderloin, braised prawns, and noodles with gravy, while enjoying late-night animations in the deep waters. When the school, research institute, or breeding center on Dust Island called us, we could proudly declare, "You miscalculated the time difference! Our hometown's holiday has just begun!"
This is the glorious tradition of our harbor seal tribe. While the rest of the tribe celebrates the passing of a grueling year, we delay the arrival of an even more arduous one. The thicker the skin, the longer the time difference. Once upon a time, the great ocean sage Ahwawawu could single-handedly create a year-long time difference, seamlessly transitioning from one year's vacation to the next. In those good old days, every one of us seals had at least three months of annual leave.
But, ah, one day, a real machine that was broken to the core, I won’t say who it was, just relied on some bullshit truth that it imagined, to unify the time of the entire Shendong world (cracked voice)!
This uniform flow of time spells disaster. Tens of millions of dust islands celebrate New Year's Day at the same time, eliminating the opportunity to delay vacations due to time differences. And for harbor seals like me who often work on other dust islands, this same time brings another disaster: everyone returns home for New Year's celebrations during the same week, and the vortex is nearly blocking the library!
Dear land-dwelling friends, you have no idea how difficult and hard it is for us sea creatures to return to our homeland. By the end of the year, the vortex is completely frozen! Once you enter it, you will become a frozen seal!
To speed things up, we'd have to hire the Blazing Armored Army to man the transit station. Once we arrived, the ice lumps lined up, buzzing along the conveyor belt as we passed through security. The knights would come up and warm themselves by the fire, and with a bang, the ice melted, and we'd all shiver and scramble out. Some unscrupulous people, dissatisfied with the high prices the Discipline Knights were charging, were secretly taking kickbacks and hiring the angry demons from the Spiral Tower. Those damn Scourges were such rough work, they blew a blast of fire and everything was cooked!
After all the hardship, I finally got into bed. Before I could even fry some meatballs, the conch shells started to crack beside my bed. I realized the road had been frozen for six days, so it was time to go to work.
How can this be?
This is simply outrageous.
How can this not make the vast majority of marine life angry!
In the second year of the unified time unit, the suffering marine population developed a deep-seated hatred for this festival. After a tense internal conch meeting, our spotted seal tribe unanimously agreed to find a way to address this unhealthy trend. And so, by the third year of the unified time unit, the marine population's hatred of work had coalesced into a hateful, terrifying, and edible super-beast.
This beast possesses a ferocious form and terrifying appearance, yet its meat is delicious and a must-try. It possesses mysterious symbols that cannot be seen or remembered. Even with real equipment, its appearance cannot be captured. Only in paintings created by our people can we glimpse a glimpse of its strange form. We call it the Nian Beast with awe.
The Nian beast possesses a wicked disposition, appearing only during the Lunar New Year period, specifically to disturb and deprive people of their peace and tranquility. It replaces family-friendly cartoons with adult films, secretly alters child-themed animations into lesbian ones, and even adds triple the vinegar to the sweet and sour sauce of sweet and sour fish. Such a despicable beast defies moral standards, and our righteous spotted seal tribe cannot sit idly by. Therefore, before the end of the year, a brave seal warrior, bearing the blessings of his fellow seals, steps forward to battle the Nian beast from the 30th day of the lunar month to the Lantern Festival. He becomes the Navy Hero of that year!
From then on, the spotted seal tribe returned to its former peace. When the other islands came to catch conch, we could snuggle in bed and shout, "We can't go to work this week, we're still fighting the Nian monster!"
The tranquility of the deep sea is thus protected. Ah, great Navy SEAL, no one knows how much you have sacrificed for us all.
This year, however, things have changed slightly. Unbeknownst to you readers, this year's Navy Seal Man is none other than me. Due to my heavy workload, battling the Nian Beast has been incredibly grueling. For every hour of fighting, I've had to drink a cup of tea and spend three hours writing before I can resume the second half. The updates you've seen recently were all created by me while I was battling the Nian Beast.
Now, the New Year has finally ended, and the Nian Beast has been devoured. Seal Man is exhausted and temporarily unable to pick up his pen to write again. He needs to rest and recuperate a little.
Therefore, I am writing this notice to inform all readers that this book will be temporarily suspended for five days from February 16th to February 20th. I hope you will give me sufficient chakra, spiritual pressure, domineering and vitality.
I also wish all the land primate readers, as well as the marine readers, flying readers, alien readers, mechanical readers, demon readers and readers of other races all the best in 2025.
If you have a different opinion, please pat the seal's belly and quack, quack, quack, quack.
(End of this chapter)
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