Repay with sincerity
Back in the bedroom, Cui Shenzhi didn't say a word. He simply washed the blood off Ping An's hands, changed her clothes, and then carried her to the bed, as if nothing had happened.
Ping An sensed something was wrong, lowered her head, and said sullenly, "Don't you have anything you want to say to me?"
“Of course there is,” Cui Shenzhi’s serious voice came from above Ping An’s head: “You shouldn’t have only taken Qiu Yan. Although Cui Sugong is already at his last gasp, what if? What if he fights to the death and hurts you? What am I supposed to do? What is Youyi supposed to do? You know the principle that a wise man does not stand under a dangerous wall.”
Ping An looked at Cui Shenzhi with some confusion: "Is that all you wanted to tell me?"
"Otherwise what?"
"...Although Cui Sugong harmed me and Fu Yunjin, he is still my biological father. I harmed him, which is patricide, an unforgivable crime. And you...you're telling me to be careful?"
Choi Shin-ji sighed softly, lowered his head, and kissed An-ping's face.
“Ping An, I’m not stupid or blind. The hairpin that fell to the ground was so plain, it couldn’t possibly be yours. There were only two people here, you and Aunt Qingya. Only Aunt Qingya would make you jump out to protect him. So the person who attacked Cui Sugong wasn’t you, it was Aunt Qingya.”
This reason is very valid, and Ping An cannot refute it.
As for whether Cui Shenzhi would pick a fight with Qingya afterward, Ping An was not worried. After all, if Cui Shenzhi wanted to do that, he wouldn't have said that Cui Sugong died of illness due to worry.
only…
“It’s true that my mother was the one who did it, but I was the one who wanted to do it. My mother only did it before me because she didn’t want me to be accused of patricide.” Ping An looked into Cui Shenzhi’s eyes and said seriously, “So, is there anything you want to say to me now?”
Choi Shin-ji pondered for a moment.
“Then you should have told me. We are husband and wife. If you want to do something but it is not suitable for you to do, then I should do it for you. Besides, I am the emperor, and I have a blood feud with Cui Sugong. Killing him is justified. Although it will definitely attract some criticism, it will not be a big problem. In this way, Aunt Qingya's hands will not be dirty, and you don't have to worry about Aunt Qingya.”
Looking at the serious expression on Cui Shenzhi's face, Ping An suddenly felt an impulse, an impulse to take a gamble.
What should we bet on?
Perhaps it's human nature.
She pulled Choi Shin-ji's hand to her chest, her gaze intense as she asked, "Choi Shin-ji, do you want to hear my true feelings?"
Cui Shenzhi felt the heartbeat of peace coming from his palm and slowly nodded.
“I grew up in the Cold Palace and witnessed the fate of many deposed concubines. So I knew clearly what kind of ending awaited me if I did nothing. After all, as a child born in the corrupt harem, my fate was the same as that of the deposed concubines: to die silently in the Cold Palace.”
"So I went to great lengths to please that idiot Guo Shu, treating myself like his dog. I would do whatever he asked me to do, even if he asked me to lick the mud off the soles of his shoes, I would do it without hesitation. After I finished, I would smile and say, 'How sweet!'"
Cui Shen couldn't help but tighten his grip on Ping An's waist slightly, and his throat suddenly felt a little choked up.
Ping An chuckled lightly and continued, "But what I want is not to become an old eunuch's dog."
"So when I learned that you had become the Crown Prince, and that you were the future Emperor, I knew my chance had come. I easily sowed discord between Guo Shu and Shen Meiwu, and even got him to take me out of the Cold Palace. But I accidentally bumped into you, Cui Sugong, Shen Meiwu, and Cui Lingxian, parading through the streets surrounded by a crowd."
“From that moment on, I decided that I would become the ‘Chen Meiwu’ by your side.”
"So I went to great lengths to find out about things related to you, and then pretended to be innocent and naive, with only you in my heart and eyes, to get to your side. I used you to get rid of Guo Shu, and then used Lu Fengping to separate you from Cui Lingxian. I also used myself to make you dislike Shen Meiwu, so that you had no one else by your side but me."
“I never imagined that I would be the daughter of Fu Yunjin and Cui Sugong, while you were the raccoon dog that Cui Sugong brought in to replace me after his entire family was wiped out.” Ping An raised her hand and poked Cui Shenzhi’s face: “Fate is truly unpredictable.”
"Now that things have come to this, I don't want to lie to you. Back then, I didn't hesitate at all before deciding to bring you down. After all, what I hold in my own hands is what truly belongs to me. Since I can become a person in power, why should I depend on others?"
"But I didn't expect that Cui Sugong is no good as a father or a ruler, but he's really good at suppressing people. He didn't leave me any loopholes to exploit. I wanted to use his strength against him, but I had nowhere to do so. So I had to turn around and gamble with you."
"But what right do I have to gamble when I have nothing? So I schemed against you, but what happened afterward was completely unexpected."
"You said you wanted to clear Fu Yunjin's name, but you seized the throne; I planned to keep everything a secret forever, but you heard everything; I thought you would silence me, but you returned my princess status to me."
“From then on, I stopped believing you.”
"Ping An, I..."
“You did explain it to me,” Ping An interrupted Cui Shenzhi, “but I didn’t believe you at the time.”
"You and Cui Lingxian have been like siblings for over a decade, closer than family. Yet, knowing that Cui Sugong and Shen Meiwu had harmed your family, you chose them without hesitation. How could you forget that I have Cui Sugong's blood just because we had physical intimacy?"
"So every word and action of yours is full of profound meaning to me. That's how I gradually pushed myself to the point where I had no way to retreat, which is why I chose to fake my death."
“Actually, that’s not entirely true,” Ping An moved closer to Cui Shenzhi, pressing his ear tightly against Cui Shenzhi’s chest. “When I got the fake death drug, I did think about using it to kill you, but somehow, in the end, I handed you that bowl of sweet soup that wasn’t drugged.”
Choi Shin-ji's heart skipped a beat, not because Ping An had said he had thought about killing him, but because Ping An had clearly had this thought but hadn't done it.
Ping An clearly craved power, but when he had the option to eliminate him and gain power, he chose to eliminate him.
"After arriving in Qingshui Town, I was depressed for a while, but then I was blinded by wealth and became addicted to the paradise you created for me. However, you would always appear in my mind unexpectedly and disturb my peace, to the point that I once thought I was possessed."
Upon hearing this, Choi Shin-ji couldn't help but chuckle softly a few times.
Ping An glared at him before continuing, "Just when I was thinking that if I married someone else, you would disappear, Lu Fengping came looking for me and said that I was pregnant with our child."
“Lu Fengping told me that the child shouldn’t exist, and I agree. But I can’t bear to part with him. As for whether I can’t bear to part with the child or something else, I still haven’t figured it out. In any case, the result is that I’m back, back in the capital, and back by your side.”
"But to be honest, I really didn't want to come back to you back then. I just wanted to keep the baby in my belly. But you told me that you knew I was still alive, and that everything around me was arranged by you through Qiao Siyu. In other words, my fate was entirely in your hands, but you had no intention of hurting me at all."
"It wasn't until that time that I dared to believe you, to believe that what you said was true, and finally made up my mind to be with you."
"I've finished speaking. Do you have anything to say?"
Cui Shenzhi tightened his arms around Ping An and said with gratitude, "I'm so glad, so glad that Lin Yimo sent Qiao Siyu. If it weren't for her, I would have really lost you. I might have had to watch you being loving with someone else. I would have gone crazy."
Ping An remained silent for a moment, then looked up and bit Cui Shenzhi's face, leaving a clear tooth mark before letting go.
"I'm asking you if you have anything to say to me! You bring up Lin Yimo and Qiao Siyu... I've even thought about harming you and killing you, don't you have even the slightest thought about that?"
Cui Shenzhi nuzzled Ping An's face and let out a satisfied sigh: "Ping An, you said you wanted to harm me, but it was just to take back what belonged to you. As for killing me, it was just to protect yourself. In the end, it's still my fault for not putting your mind at ease, and it's Cui Sugong's fault for making you grow up in the cold palace. It's not your fault, it's ours."
Ping An couldn't understand why Cui Shenzhi would think that way, but these words made her feel very happy.
She kissed the teeth marks on Choi Shin-ji's face and snuggled into his arms.
"Go to sleep, go to sleep. Tomorrow is not the day of the morning court session, but you still have to review memorials. There's a lot to do."
Speaking of this, Cui Shenzhi recalled what Ping An had said earlier: "Since one can become a person in power, why should one depend on others?" He said softly to Ping An in his arms, "Ping An, you will start reviewing memorials with me tomorrow."
Ping An's response was wide-eyed and an expression of disbelief.
"Why did I have to do this?!"
"Only then can you truly participate in politics and truly grasp power in your hands."
"No way!" Ping An turned around, so that her back was to Cui Shenzhi, and said in a low voice, "I'm not a good person. I won't think about the world or the people like you do. If I really get involved, it will only cause the world you've been governing to fall apart. How can I enjoy wealth and honor then? Besides, the affairs of the court are too troublesome. Sending someone to do the work requires considering this and that, and discussing with those grumpy faces. I'd rather sleep more than waste that time."
Upon hearing this, Choi Shin-ji felt his heart melt completely.
Ping An craved power so much, but when faced with a choice between power and him, she chose him, time and time again, and even suppressed her temper to think of him.
Heaven was so cruel to him, taking away all his loved ones without any reason. But Heaven also looked after him, allowing him to meet Ping An and become husband and wife, their hearts in perfect harmony.
He was content.
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