Chapter 45
"Come and see! A rainbow has appeared!" Xie Yiling shouted excitedly from the French windows. "Oh, no, it's not a rainbow. Sorry, I was mistaken. But the scenery after the rain is so beautiful, shall we go for a walk outside?"
“To be honest,” Cheng Shi ignored Xie Yiling and continued to Hu Zhizhi, “you’ve hit the nail on the head. I agree with everything you just said, and my wife agrees too, which is why I plan to resign in the fall and leave here.”
Hu Zhizhi looked at Chengshi in disbelief, then glanced in the direction of DK, where Huang Ruoyu was busy preparing lunch, before turning back to Chengshi and asking, "Really? You resigned and left here? So where are you going after you leave? Oh, right, Reiko-san seems to have mentioned this to me. You're planning to go to Dali, right? Yes, yes, I remember now. I was confused when I heard it and didn't know who she was talking about. And Reiko-san didn't tell me why you wanted to leave here for Dali, she just said she thought it was 'really strange'."
After saying this, Hu Zhizhi suddenly burst into laughter. His laughter, which sounded like he was about to suffocate, not only tore through the air but also seemed to almost demolish the entire house.
"Mommy, you were the one who said that, right? Do you still think it's 'really weird'? Huh? You still think so?"
"Calm down," Hu Yu, who had been huddled in the corner drinking tea, suddenly said softly. "Come sit over here, Zhizhi, have some tea. This tea is quite good."
But Hu Zhizhi ignored him.
"My goodness!" Hu Zhizhi exclaimed, "I'm sure what we just said also seemed really, really, really, really strange to you, didn't it, Mommy?"
Just then, Huang Ruoyu, who had just stepped out of DK to greet everyone for their meal, was shocked to see Xie Yiling facing the floor-to-ceiling window, sobbing in a completely different and unusually suppressed and angry voice: "Zhizhi, please, stop talking!"
Hu Yu finally stood up from the sofa, dragged himself across the living room towards his wife, and stretched out his white, plump arm to embrace Xie Yiling, who was trembling slightly. But he hesitated for a moment and then lowered his hand. So the two of them stood close together, looking out the window, perhaps whispering something to each other.
Hu Zhizhi looked at his elderly parents, a lingering smile on his face.
"Well," Narumi said awkwardly, "how about we start eating?"
Huang Ruoyu quickly chimed in, "Yes, yes, let's eat! Everyone, come in and sit down. I've cooked some simple home-style dishes..."
“How about this,” Hu Zhizhi said, “we’re not in a hurry to eat, it’s not even 12 o’clock yet. Let’s go out for a smoke, that way the old couple can stay inside and wait for their rainbow, and the tense atmosphere will dissipate.”
Hu Zhizhi strode across the living room, retrieved his dirty and strange beanie from the TV cabinet, and then suddenly turned around, lunging at his parents as if he were having a seizure. His right fist flew through the air in a long arc, looking as if it was about to land on Xie Yiling.
The moment Hu Yu saw Hu Zhizhi's fist about to strike, a look of fear flashed in his eyes behind his glasses. But before he could stop it, Hu Zhizhi's fist had already landed on Xie Yiling's shoulder—but it wasn't a heavy punch; it was just a light, gentle touch to her clothes.
"See you later, Mommy," Hu Zhizhi said in a high-pitched voice. "You stay here and wait for me to come back, okay? Don't move around."
Hu Zhizhi and the Cheng couple walked together to the backyard. The rainwater was now evaporating in the sunlight, and the garden, freshly washed by the rain, exuded a unique, fragrant aroma. All three lit cigarettes, but only the two men spoke, while Huang Ruoyu leaned close to Cheng Shi, eavesdropping on their conversation. Cheng Shi glanced down at his wife more than once, noticing her eyes sparkling, just like when they were deeply in love: she was looking at him with adoration.
Hu Zhizhi wasn't interested in the specific details of the Cheng couple's trip to Dali, but he was curious about why they had such thoughts. When Cheng Shi said, "Everything here is a hopeless emptiness," Hu Zhizhi was stunned, as if struck by lightning, his face showing extreme shock.
"Damn! You finally said it, hopeless emptiness! You know, a lot of people are aware of emptiness. When I was at MIT, emptiness was the only topic we talked about. We'd sit together all night talking about emptiness, but no one ever called it 'hopeless,' because that word scared us. It takes a lot of courage to admit to emptiness, but to admit that emptiness is hopeless takes even more courage. Man, you're a tough guy! Now I finally understand. If you really see this hopelessness, then you have no other choice but to get out of there, because there's no other way. Yeah, yeah, escape from Beijing, Shanghai, and Guangzhou, I get it."
“That’s about it,” Cheng Shi said. But after saying that, he felt it wasn’t quite right, so he wanted to change the subject quickly and asked Hu Zhizhi, “I heard you’re a mathematician?”
"You're wrong about what you heard. It must be Lingzi-chan bragging again. I just majored in math. But now I don't have any math in my head at all, it's all gone. Do you know about electroconvulsive therapy? They did it to me dozens, no, maybe hundreds of times in the past few months..." At this point, Hu Zhizhi squinted blankly at the sky, as if trying hard to recall how many times he had received electroconvulsive therapy.
Under the sunlight, Cheng Shi noticed for the first time that what looked like wrinkles on Hu Zhizhi's face were actually fine scars.
"...Hundreds of times, at least. The principle of this therapy is to use an electric current to drive emotional problems out of your head, but this thing worked differently on me—it fucking blew all my math out of my head! So where these things used to be, there is now an emptiness, a hopeless emptiness."
"This is terrifying!" Huang Ruoyu exclaimed.
"'That's terrifying'?" Hu Zhizhi raised his voice again, mimicking Huang Ruoyu's tone, then sneered and asked provocatively, "Why? Tell me why? Because math is interesting?"
“No, numbers are the most boring thing. I hate math,” Huang Ruoyu replied. “I’m saying that electroconvulsive therapy is terrible, and making a person forget what they want to remember is even more terrible.”
Hu Zhizhi stared at Huang Ruoyu for a while before nodding in agreement.
“Dude, I like your woman,” Hu Zhizhi announced to Cheng Shi. “I think she’s a real woman. Do you know the difference between a real woman and a pretentious, effeminate woman? Let me tell you, a pretentious, effeminate woman is someone who always talks in circles and always wears elaborate makeup, pretending to be elegant. My wife, Lingzi, is the epitome of a pretentious, effeminate woman. Come to think of it, I’ve only ever met a few real women in my life, and you actually married one of them! Of course, thinking about it carefully, it makes sense, because I think you’re a real man. To be honest, there aren’t many real men left in this world these days; they’re all a bunch of cowards.”
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