Chapter 56
"Finally, they're gone." After the Hu family left, Huang Ruoyu said to Chengshi while washing cups in the sink, "What was Hu Zhizhi like when he was little? I can't even imagine how he got through it."
"With parents like that, I imagine his childhood must have been quite difficult."
Huang Ruoyu didn't respond immediately. After cleaning up the cups and hanging up the dishcloth, she said to Chengshi in a sarcastic tone, "But at least he still has his parents, so he definitely feels more secure than I do. Is that what you wanted to say?"
"I want to fucking talk about this?" Narumi exclaimed in surprise. "When did I say that? Can you stop being so sensitive and suspicious?"
However, Huang Ruoyu had already walked far away when Chengshi shouted. All that could be heard was her slamming the gate of No. 5 Napa Valley with a "bang" before she went to pick up the children from the Sun family's house at No. 8 Palm Beach.
For the rest of the evening, Huang Ruoyu remained calm, but a hint of indifference lingered beneath her composure. She efficiently prepared dinner and put the children to bed, while Cheng Shi carefully avoided her, trying not to make a sound – it seemed that tonight, like many quiet nights before their "honeymoon phase," they would each occupy a corner of the living room, scrolling through their phones, as reserved and polite as two people meeting in public.
This continued until 10 p.m., when, without warning, Huang Ruoyu threw down her phone and broke the silence.
"You mean I don't want to be a woman, is that right?"
"Did I say anything all night?" Cheng Shi, looking shocked, immediately retorted while holding her phone. "What exactly did you say? Can you give me a reason? What do you mean I said you didn't want to be a woman anymore?"
Huang Ruoyu seemed a little impatient because she intended to continue discussing the topic that hadn't been finished that afternoon, and Cheng Shi was surprisingly not keeping up with her pace.
"Can't you understand what I'm talking about? Aren't I talking about the psychological issues behind a woman's desire for an abortion? If a woman doesn't want to have children, you men will say she's not a woman, or that she doesn't want to be a woman at all, isn't that what you mean?"
“Little Fish,” Cheng Shi said gently, “I know about this kind of thing not much more than you do. But what you just said sounds quite reasonable, of course, it’s not entirely the ‘us men’ way of thinking. To be honest, I’m quite annoyed by some feminists’ attitude of pitting men and women against each other, but I respect women, and I’d basically call myself a feminist. But now that you mention it, I’m reminded of something I read in school, I forget if it was Freud, Beauvoir, or someone else, but it was about a woman who was born with a phallic worship mentality that persisted into adulthood. I think this phenomenon is quite common among women, nothing to be surprised about or condemn. The point is that this case study said that this woman always tried to have abortions after getting pregnant. The author of the case study analyzed that she did this to open up her body so that the penis could grow out and hang where it should hang… uh, I can’t remember, it was so long ago. But that’s roughly the idea.”
In fact, Cheng Shi was not sure if she had seen such case analysis before, nor did she know whether it was a wise move to bring in psychoanalysis theory at this time.
However, Huang Ruoyu seemed engrossed in listening and showed no surprise. She rested her arm on her knee, propped her chin on her hand, and stared blankly into space. Aside from a slightly confused expression, she showed no excitement.
“Under any circumstances,” Narumi continued, seeing this, “we believe that we cannot simply draw conclusions from what we read in books. Blindly believing everything in books is worse than having no books at all. We should avoid book-based thinking…”
At this point, Cheng Shi deliberately paused, because he felt it was time to let Huang Ruoyu say a few words and express his opinion, otherwise he would seem boastful, and Huang Ruoyu might label him as a 'one-man show' afterward.
However, Huang Ruoyu just sat there, still not saying a word, as if waiting for Cheng Shi to continue explaining his theory.
Helpless, Chengshi had no choice but to continue, "I think we can make an assumption based on common sense: most girls have the desire to become men, but as they grow up, they might observe their mothers and aspire to be like them. This naturally involves a bit of same-sex admiration and imitation. In other words, they also want to attract men, build their own families, raise their own children, and so on. However, your situation is rather special. Your mother isn't around, and your relationship with your maternal grandfather has always been strained, so I don't think you've experienced this process. Perhaps what I'm saying isn't entirely correct, but take it with a grain of salt. In short, this kind of psychological issue is very subtle and difficult to grasp."
After listening to Chengshi's words, Huang Ruoyu stood up, walked to the TV cabinet, and turned her back to Chengshi. This reminded Chengshi of the first time he met her.
That was a long time ago. Backstage at the "Grand Drama Festival" that brought together several universities, Cheng Shi, the event planner and publicity manager for the organizer, spotted Huang Ruoyu, who was standing with her back to him, through the room full of people. She was a tall, proud, and outstanding "top beauty." Although she was just an understudy in the play and didn't even get a chance to go on stage, he still fell in love with her at first sight.
At that time, Cheng was a second-year graduate student. He was neither worried about further studies nor employment, and he was enthusiastic about all kinds of cultural and sports activities at school. In these activities, he, a handsome, talented, and dashing man, could always stand out. Moreover, he hoped to make the most of his last student years and do something "meaningful".
However, Chengshi also has his worries at times like these. What bothers him the most is that among all the girls he has met, none of them have given him a pure sense of satisfaction. Although he has dated several girlfriends before, and each of them seems to be an outstanding girl in the eyes of outsiders, only Chengshi himself knows the truth.
For example, Chengshi had a girlfriend who was quite beautiful, but she had a typical pear-shaped figure with short, thick legs. This meant she could only wear conservative long skirts; any short skirt, shorts, or even trousers would reveal her true figure. Chengshi's other girlfriend was very intelligent, known as a "genius" at school, and her looks were above average. However, to put it nicely, she was overly maternal; to put it bluntly, she had a desire to plan Chengshi's life like his mother. The problem was, even Chengshi's mother hadn't planned out at least ten years of his future like she had. So, Chengshi couldn't take it anymore and broke up with her. In short, none of Chengshi's girlfriends could be called "top beauties," until he saw Huang Ruoyu's back through the crowd, who was still a sophomore in college.
So Cheng Shi casually grabbed a can of beer from the table next to him and chugged it down. Then, with his "sexy gait," he walked through the strangers in half the room and stood behind Huang Ruoyu, whose hair was shiny and whose legs were long and slender. He boldly asked, "Excuse me, what's your name again? Qin...?"
“You’ve mistaken me for someone else,” Huang Ruoyu said, turning around with a cold, unapproachable expression. “I’m not Qin Qing. Qin Qing is over there. My name is Huang Ruoyu.”
Clearly, Huang Ruoyu's face perfectly matched Cheng Shi's definition of a "top beauty," and within five minutes, Cheng Shi found himself making this aloof beauty smile. He could not only make Huang Ruoyu's large eyes fixate on him, but also make her eyes follow his every move. With his rich experience in love, Cheng Shi knew that Huang Ruoyu was completely captivated by him.
"So, which school do you go to?" Huang Ruoyu started asking Cheng Shi questions proactively. "Did you enjoy today's performance?"
"Me? I'm not a student. I work on the construction site next door and sneaked in."
Huang Ruoyu looked Cheng Shi up and down and said incredulously, "I'm not joking, I'm serious."
“I’m telling the truth. I saw on the poster that 'A Doll’s House' was being performed today, so I sneaked in.”
If Cheng Shi hadn't been worried that Huang Ruoyu might be able to distinguish between calluses and blisters, he definitely would have shown her his palm. In the past few weeks, Cheng Shi had been practicing pull-ups like crazy to strengthen his back muscles, which was why he had blisters on his hands.
Seeing Huang Ruoyu's expression, Cheng Shi continued, "But I won't be working on the construction site next week. A friend introduced me to a good job..."
"That's not what I meant. I meant, do you like 'A Doll's House'?"
"I think... the female lead in this play didn't act well; she didn't understand the character."
"Didn't understand the character?" Huang Ruoyu looked at Cheng Shi in surprise and asked, "You mean Qin Qing, she didn't understand Nora? How is that possible?"
"Absolutely not, her performance was too childish."
"Then tell me, how do you understand Nora?" Huang Ruoyu asked Chengshi with a look of dissatisfaction.
“Let me ask you a question first,” Narumi said with a calm smile, “What do you think will happen to Nora after she runs away from home?”
"Just..." Huang Ruoyu hesitated after saying just one word, because the play ended when Nora ran away from home, and who would think about what would happen afterward?
“Look, you can’t explain it either. If you ask me, Nora, who was penniless after running away from home, only had two choices: either sell herself into prostitution or go home.”
"Nonsense! How could that be? Why would Nora become a prostitute?"
“Miss, that’s a story from 100 years ago. Back then, women weren’t allowed to go out to work. Let me put it this way: Nora was actually a canary. Although she felt restricted in the cage, once she was out of the cage, she would find that there were eagles, cats, and other things outside. Any large animal could take her life, let alone the terrifying humans. That’s one possibility. Another possibility is that this canary has been caged for so long that she has forgotten how to fly. If she were to fly out of the cage, it would be a dead end, and she would simply starve to death.”
“Then she should go home. Her husband loves her. She’s just throwing a tantrum. Helmer just needs to coax her.”
"To put it simply, Nora can be considered an enlightened person. She has awakened from her dream of love, and once awakened, it's not easy for her to go back to dreaming, because she understands that Helmer's feelings for her are not love, but rather treating her like a doll. That's why the play is called 'A Doll's House.' Of course, Nora also treats the children as her dolls. In any case, Nora really only has one path: running away from home. But this raises an important issue: money."
"money?"
"Money. Money sounds vulgar, but it's undeniably important. Or perhaps we can use a different word: economy, which sounds more elegant. Of course, we all know that freedom can't be bought with money, but one can sell freedom for money—for example, when I work on a construction site, I'm selling my freedom to earn money, right? The biggest weakness of humans is that they always feel hungry, especially construction workers like us. So, I can only survive by exchanging my freedom for money, and then using that money to fill my stomach, allowing me the opportunity to sneak in and watch your performance. Actually, women are the same; they also need money to sustain their lives, and in fact, women face even more difficulties than men. So, if Nora doesn't want to go home, doesn't want to face that dreamlike love and marriage again, she needs money to survive. But in an era when women weren't allowed to work, how do you think she could earn money?"
"Are you really a worker? How do you know these things?"
“These are not my original ideas. Mr. Lu Xun said these things 100 years ago. He gave a speech called ‘What Happens After Nora Leaves’, which was given to female students at the time. But Mr. Lu Xun’s point of view was that ‘not only are men a cage for women, but women are also a cage for men’, because at that time Mr. Lu Xun was living a marriage with his first wife where they only exchanged three sentences a day.”
"I've never heard of any of this before, nor have I ever thought about it." Huang Ruoyu looked at Cheng Shi with admiration, no longer showing the defiant expression she had before. "You know so much!"
"However, 100 years have passed, and women's social status has greatly improved. Women no longer have to worry about the dilemma of 'either becoming corrupt or going home' in marriage. Therefore, women can better enjoy love and marriage."
That night, everything went very smoothly. Because he needed to write a promotional report for the "Grand Theater Festival," Cheng Shi had done thorough research on every play on the program beforehand, which enabled him to deliver such a brilliant speech to Huang Ruoyu. So, a week later, Huang Ruoyu's alluring naked body appeared on Cheng Shi's bed. From Shucun to Jinsong and now to Central Park. However, back then, Huang Ruoyu would always murmur in his ear afterward, "Brother Shitou, you are the most knowledgeable and interesting person I've ever met."
However, Cheng Shi's thoughts were pulled back to the present moment because Huang Ruoyu finally spoke.
"How do you think we can find... find a reliable psychologist? You know, most so-called psychologists are just quacks... well, but I don't think I have any major problems..."
Chengshi held her breath.
“Okay,” Huang Ruoyu turned around, her eyes glistening with tears, “I think you know more, so you should be right. That’s all. I’ll go see a doctor. That’s all.”
That night, Narumi's thoughts were in turmoil, and she slept restlessly. When she woke up from another short, light sleep, Narumi was keenly aware that this battle was far from over.
With 11 days left until the deadline Huang Ruoyu had so confidently set, Cheng Shi knew that she could change her mind at any moment. Therefore, during these 11 days, whenever Cheng Shi was with Huang Ruoyu, she had to be constantly vigilant, using every skill and method to keep her calm and composed.
Cheng Shi's current task is to do everything possible to consolidate the hard-won victory of today and ensure that he can control the overall situation. Therefore, he decided to let everyone know as soon as possible that they have changed their plans to go to Dali, especially Sun Pengfei and Su Ningna. Only in this way can the trip to Dali fade from their lives as quickly as possible and become a distant memory. At the same time, Cheng Shi also needs to suppress his complacency caused by meeting a mentor at work, and stay by Huang Ruoyu's side at all times to stabilize her resolve when her thoughts waver, until the entire dangerous period is over.
So Chengshi decided that the first step was to take the day off and stay home, so that Monday's routine meeting and his mentor An Zheyuan could go to hell!
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