Chapter 85
"Listen to me, listen to me, sister, do you know what's in my schoolbag? Sister, please listen to me!"
"What?"
Following the children's voices, Huang Ruoyu looked towards the artificial lake in the distance and seemed to spot Cheng Yushan, Cheng Yusi, and the Sun family's Sun Muge, Sun Muyang, and Sun Mutong all on the lawn across the lake. Huang Ruoyu vaguely saw that, apart from the 15-year-old Sun Muge, the other four younger children were all jumping, shouting, and rolling around on the lawn, occasionally picking things up from the grass and throwing them into the lake.
Huang Ruoyu would never normally allow Cheng Yushan and Cheng Yusi to do such things—the lakeside is too dangerous! What if they fell in? Who knows how often the property management cleans the lake? And the lawn is covered in dog poop, it's so dirty! But right now, Huang Ruoyu didn't have the energy to care about the children in the distance, and she wasn't even sure if they were just her imagination.
"Do you know what Mommy put in my backpack? She put a sweater in it for me to wear today, but it's so hot!"
"You're not wearing any clothes either," Cheng Yushan replied impatiently, but then immediately yelled, "Cheng Yusi, what are you doing?!"
"Sister, is it time to go to school...?"
"Cheng Yusi!" Cheng Yushan continued to yell, "If I see you picking your nose again next time, I'll tell Dad! And Dad will beat you!"
Huang Ruoyu found her legs were numb, so she stood up and slowly walked towards No. 5 Napa Valley. But the children's voices still followed her like a shadow. Those children? In a daze, Huang Ruoyu seemed to hear the children's voices coming from a dark, cramped Shanghai alleyway—the shouts and laughter of the older girls, the strange whistles of the boys as they walked past her, and her own silent sobs—a silent longing for the older girls to play with her, yet a fear of rejection…
So Huang Ruoyu had to quicken her pace and walk into No. 5 Napa Valley until she closed the gate, shutting out the noise.
Then Huang Ruoyu rushed into the living room and turned off the TV that had been playing background music, and the house became completely quiet.
Then, Huang Ruoyu sat down at the coffee table again and tore off a new yellow sticky note. This time, the letter was written effortlessly. She only needed to get straight to the point and state the one important thing, expressing it clearly in just a few words.
These few words are important because the meaning is simply what they say literally. Only simple and clear words can avoid any misunderstanding or distortion.
“Dear Stone Brother: No matter what happens, don’t blame yourself.”
Huang Ruoyu almost habitually added "I love you" to the end of the sentence. Fortunately, she stopped herself in time this time and simply signed "Huang Ruoyu". Then she went into DK and stuck the yellow note in the most conspicuous place on the refrigerator.
Next, Huang Ruoyu took a can of chilled beer from the refrigerator. As she pulled the tab, white foam gushed out. She quietly stared at the dense foam, imagining Chengshi sucking it into his mouth and laughing heartily. But then, Huang Ruoyu shook her head, as if trying to shake the image of Chengshi out of her mind, and then tilted her head back and downed the entire can of beer in one gulp. As the golden liquid flowed down her throat into her stomach, Huang Ruoyu felt as if she were experiencing both ice and fire—the sensation of the cool liquid flowing on one side, and the fiery heat of the burning gas on the other.
It was 10:30 in the morning, and Huang Ruoyu felt tears welling up in her eyes. Her head was throbbing. She didn't know if it was because she'd drunk too much, but even a mere can of beer was making her feel so dizzy and lightheaded—something that had never happened to her before. While she wouldn't call herself invincible, she'd spent ten years with Cheng Shi, this tough guy from Northeast China, especially when they first met. Cheng Shi always took Huang Ruoyu to those cheap, unpalatable stalls for skewers and drinks, so she'd developed a certain tolerance for alcohol. But right now, she felt the world spinning, and she needed to hold onto something to steady herself.
And so, Huang Ruoyu carefully walked into the guest bathroom on the first floor, supporting herself against the wall.
Just a small pill restored Huang Ruoyu's peace and composure; she felt the world had calmed down. And now she clearly realized a truth she had known for a long time. However, this truth wasn't told to her by her parents, her grandmother, or even Cheng Shi; it was a principle she was born with—that is:
If a person truly wants to do something that is true to their own heart, then they can only do it alone.
Ultimately, no one can make decisions for anyone else, or rather, no one can stay with anyone forever.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
