Chapter 1016 I Wait for You to Love Me
Gu Wanqiu asked: "Gong Qing, why are you so nice to me?"
She felt that she didn't deserve to be treated like this and didn't deserve anything good.
She is not good-looking, skinny, and very fierce. She even has a toe missing from her foot. From head to toe, there is no good feature in her. She can't even eat properly and needs someone to feed her. She has wounds all over her body and is sick from the inside out. It costs a lot of money just for hospitalization, medical treatment and medicine, but she has no money.
When I think about it this way, I feel like I’m useless and a burden to others.
Humiliation arises from the heart, and one is inferior to others in every way. Pride arises from the bones, and it is difficult not to bend the knee...
Gu Wanqiu has no pride. Her bones were crushed during those five years and can never be straightened again.
Now, she didn't even know who she was, what had happened in the past, what kind of person she was, what kind of family she had, did she have any relatives? How did she and Gong Qing meet? What was their relationship like? She had no idea.
She lived in fear every minute of every day. She felt that she was very bad and that staying with Gong Qing would be a burden, but she couldn't let him go.
When Gu Wanqiu was alone and quiet, she would wonder if she was completely different from now and what she really was like.
There happened to be a movie playing on the TV in the ward called "The Wolf Boy". She looked at the male protagonist in the movie and felt that she was just like him.
She wondered if she had no family? Had she been abandoned by her parents since she was little? Was she a feral child? Was she, like the "wolf boy," raised by dogs, and that's why she couldn't even eat properly?
I wonder if the missing big toe on her right foot was bitten off by something, and there are also scars on her face.
…
Gu Wanqiu couldn't see any good in her and couldn't understand why Gong Qing was so nice to her.
She was full of disgust and loathing towards herself, even refusing to look in the mirror. How did Gong Qing endure this? Didn't he think the scar on her face was ugly? Didn't he think she was a useless piece of shit?
Gong Qing held her nervous hand with one hand, raised his other hand to touch the top of her head, and said in a tone he had never used before, "Because, you are my fiancée."
His voice was slightly hoarse. His voice was pleasant in itself, and with this low and hoarse tone, it sounded like an electric cello. When you got close to it, it seemed to be able to numb your entire ears.
Gu Wanqiu blinked: "Fiancée?"
"Yes, fiancée, you promised to marry me before, saying that we would get married in the future and you would be my wife." This was half true and half false, but when they were in Country M, Gu Wanqiu did agree to be his girlfriend on her 19th birthday, but Li Jinxing intervened and separated them, and they were separated for seven years.
After seven years of separation, we can no longer go back to the way we were before. Both of us have changed a lot, and perhaps the only thing that hasn't changed is the feelings between us.
"What was I like before?" Gu Wanqiu asked carefully in a hoarse voice.
What was Gu Wanqiu like in the past? Gong Qing looked at the present Gu Wanqiu and recalled the past. Every time he thought about it, it was cruel.
Gu Wanqiu was sensitive to begin with, and she always felt that Gong Qing looked at her as if he was looking at another person. She felt timid and wanted to run away, so she loosened her grip on Gong Qing's clothes and spoke with her head down.
"I must not have been like this before." Otherwise, how could Gong Qing like her and make her his fiancée.
Gu Wanqiu didn't understand why she had become like this. What happened to the injuries on her body? How did her face become disfigured? She wanted to ask but didn't dare to. She wanted to know what she had looked like in the past, but she was timid and afraid to know.
She was afraid that Gong Qing would like her past self, although she was Gu Wanqiu in the past and now, the same person without any change.
But she subconsciously felt that they were two different people, and she was not the same person as before. This made her feel very conflicted and she couldn't explain it clearly to others.
She lowered her head and didn't dare to look at Gong Qing. She wanted Gong Qing to understand what he was thinking, but she was also afraid that he would agree with her. If Gong Qing also thought that she and the former Gu Wanqiu were two different people, he would definitely not like her anymore. After all, who would like such a bad person?
Gong Qing looked at Gu Wanqiu, who lowered her head like an ostrich, sighed softly, put his hand on her thin shoulder and asked.
"Qiuqiu, do you understand what love is? Or do you understand what love is now?"
Gu Wanqiu still didn't raise her head. She shook her head, not understanding.
The surroundings were quiet for a few seconds, and Gu Wanqiu fell into thought. After thinking for a while, she said, "Does love mean that you can't live without the other person? Is it dependence?" Just like how she feels about Gong Qing now.
"Not entirely. The dependence you mentioned might just be a lack of security, or a habit." The hand on her shoulder slowly moved down, and he held Gu Wanqiu's calloused hand, saying, "There are many feelings in this world that can be called love. Everyone has a different definition of love. Some people fall in love at first sight because they like the other person's appearance. Some people fall in love over time because they have a compatible personality and values. Some people fall in love because of life, such as money..."
Gu Wanqiu listened to Gong Qing's steady voice. When he said these words, he spoke very slowly, like a teacher explaining the key points of painting to students, afraid that the other party would not understand.
The speech was clear, and every word was heard clearly by Gu Wanqiu.
Gu Wanqiu raised her head: "Then what kind of love do you have for me?" Gong Qing said so much, but she seemed to have nothing to do with any of it.
She doesn’t have pretty looks, the right values, good qualities, a good character, or money…what does she have left?
Gong Qing pinched the back of her hand. Unlike the palm, the back of her hand was soft. The blood vessels on the back of her hand were bulging. When he pressed his fingertips on them, he could faintly feel the beating, just like a heartbeat.
Gong Qing looked into Gu Wanqiu's eyes and answered seriously, "My love for you is simply because you are Gu Wanqiu. I will love you no matter what you become. I will not stop loving you just because your appearance, money, personality, or lifestyle change. Even if you age overnight and become an old woman, I will still recognize you at a glance."
Gu Wanqiu was stunned, her whole body frozen in place as if she had experienced a blood clot, trying hard to digest Gong Qing's words.
Gong Qing reached out and touched the tip of her nose, then asked her in a lighter tone.
"Do you understand what love is now?"
Gu Wanqiu still shook her head, a little afraid to see the disappointed expression on Gong Qing's face. She turned her head away to avoid Gong Qing's gaze, but unexpectedly, Gong Qing held her face in his hands as soon as she turned away.
Gong Qing looked into her eyes and said, "It's okay. I'll wait for you."
Waiting for you to understand love, waiting for you to love me, waiting for you to accept me, waiting for you to marry me, waiting for us to be together for the rest of our lives.
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