Chapter 257 Uncovering the Lies
Shen Zhichu was in fear, and she didn't even know what she was afraid of. Maybe it was because she was afraid that the dream was real, and that she and Li Jingshen would not be able to be together until the end.
Shen Zhichu loves Li Jingshen, which is something she cannot deny. She wants to get closer to the truth, but she is also afraid to see the truth.
What should she do if Li Jingshen has been lying to her since the day she woke up and lost her memory?
It's like a bird that finally escapes from a cage, but after flying out finds a larger net aimed at it. Not to mention the eye-catching things on the net, it seems that any careless move could turn it into ashes.
Shen Zhichu could only comfort herself that Li Jingshen hid those things from her in order to prevent her from getting hurt. In short, Li Jingshen really loved her.
Because Shen Zhichu had frequent nightmares, Li Jingshen called Ji Shiyan over again, and they got up together at dawn.
"It's still early, why don't you sleep a little longer?" Li Jingshen asked.
"I can't fall asleep again after waking up." She hasn't slept since she was awakened by a nightmare in the middle of the night.
Li Jingshen's Adam's apple rolled. He looked at Shen Zhichu's haggard face and couldn't help but ask tentatively: "Can you still remember the nightmare you had last night?"
Shen Zhichu shook his head: "I can't remember."
"I thought you could recover your memory..."
Shen Zhichu stared at him and asked in a lukewarm voice: "Do you want me to recover my memory?"
"Just let it be." Li Jingshen raised his hand and touched her soft hair.
She nodded and responded to Li Jingshen's words: "Well, I also think it's better to let it go. It's okay if you can't remember it. After all, it's in the past. Now I have you. I believe you will always treat me well, not deceive me, and not bring me pain, right?"
Li Jingshen's expression froze, and even his hand that was touching her hair stopped. His gentle expression suddenly became uneasy.
The words that Shen Zhichu said were like a sharp weapon that pierced his vitals. The pain in his chest continued to spread throughout his body. He reached out and hugged Shen Zhichu in his arms, his arms trembling for some reason.
What he brought to Shen Zhichu was deception, lies, pain, and countless times of despair.
He couldn't turn back. Even if there were mountains of swords and seas of fire ahead, he had to keep moving forward. Even if he fell into hell, he had to hold Shen Zhichu with him.
"Chu Chu, I will love you well." This was the promise he made to her.
Love is like the thunder in the chest, and it is also like the light breeze between the lips and tongue. Anyone can say it, but few will give everything for it.
Li Jingshen has a paranoid personality and has lived in an environment lacking love for years. He longs to love deeply and be loved. He clearly had it before, but he didn't know how to cherish it, so in order to retain love later, he could only rely on the means of confinement, keeping Shen Zhichu in a cage like a pet.
He could never be tolerant of his love for Shen Zhichu in his entire life, let alone let go. Call him despicable or shameless, all he wanted was Shen Zhichu...
…….
At the dining table, Shen Zhichu was absentmindedly eating breakfast. It seemed normal as usual, but Shen Zhichu had already sensed that something was changing.
In the morning, Ji Shiyan came to check on Shen Zhichu and asked her how she had been doing recently, like a good friend who hadn't seen her for a long time.
"Very good." The two hadn't seen each other for a few weeks and had become quite unfamiliar with each other. Li Jingshen didn't give Ji Shiyan and Shen Zhichu much chance to chat.
After lunch, everyone was busy with their own things. After taking the stomach medicine, Chen Zhichu felt a little sleepy.
"Go to sleep if you want."
Shen Zhichu hummed softly and rubbed her misty eyes. She usually took a nap at this time and would sleep as long as she could.
After watching Shen Zhichu go to bed, Li Jingshen and Ji Shiyan entered the reception room.
"Why did you call me here this time?" Ji Shiyan sat casually on the chair.
"Do you have any medicine that can control dreams?"
Ji Shiyan looked at Li Jingshen's serious expression and slightly stiffened his back: "What do you mean?"
"She's been having nightmares a lot lately. Last night she even called out someone's name. I'm scared..."
Before Li Jingshen could finish, Ji Shiyan interrupted with a sneer: "You actually feel scared one day? It's just a nightmare, right? When did you become so cowardly? Taking that kind of medicine makes it easy to have dreams."
Li Jingshen's eyelashes flickered. He was very cautious and always worried about matters of the heart. He had also clearly told Ji Shiyan that Shen Zhichu would leave him as soon as he recovered his memory, and what he feared was Shen Zhichu's departure.
Ji Shiyan asked curiously, "Whose name did she call last night? Is that person important?"
"You wouldn't recognize him even if I told you." The name that Shen Zhichu called out in Meng's words was one that he had to admit was important.
Ji Shiyan understood from his expression.
"What do you need me to do?"
"The medicine she takes at night seems to be ineffective. Can you prescribe some other nerve-disturbing medicine, or increase the dosage?"
"It's impossible to increase the dosage. Do you really want her to become a fool?"
"If it means I can keep her from leaving me, I would rather she become a fool!" Li Jingshen almost squeezed out the last two words from his throat with gritted teeth.
Ji Shiyan's whole body froze. Looking at Li Jingshen's red eyes, he felt that he must be crazy to say such a thing.
The damage Li Jingshen brought to Shen Zhichu was irreparable, and the damage he mentioned was just the tip of the iceberg.
"Meow~" The cat's meow coming from outside the door disrupted the conversation between the two and Li Jingshen's thoughts.
Li Jingshen walked towards the door: "Anyway, whether it's hypnosis or medication, I don't want Shen Zhichu to remember everything. You'd better think of a way to stop her from dreaming..."
"That's easy to say, but how can I possibly control this dream..."
There was a constant sound of cats meowing outside the door. Li Jingshen walked to the door, grasped the door handle and opened it. When he glanced outside, he was startled. He subconsciously tightened the door handle in his hand, and his entire back was covered in cold sweat.
The extreme panic was like a hand strangling his throat. His body suddenly became motionless as if he had been hit by a blood clot, and his eyes stared blankly at Shen Zhichu who was standing outside the door holding the cat.
A black despair hung over the sky, making it hard to breathe. His throat choked and his eyelashes trembled slightly.
"Chu Chu..." He took a step forward, as if grabbing the person in front of him.
But Shen Zhichu watched his movements and stumbled back a step while holding the cat.
The action of taking a step back was very glaring and heartbreaking, meaning that she was drawing a line between them and was afraid of his approach.
Li Jingshen clenched his fists, unable to utter a word. He could only stand there stiffly, as if he had lost his voice for a moment.
Ji Shiyan was still in the room. Because he was sitting in a blind spot, he couldn't see what was happening outside the door. He was just a little surprised why he was standing at the door.
Ji Shiyan followed him: "Why are you..." He froze before he could finish his words. Why was Shen Zhichu here? Didn't Li Jingshen say she was asleep? And when had she been here, and how much had she heard?
Various questions crowded in his mind, and soon Shen Zhichu answered the questions in his mind.
"Li Jingshen, you said you wouldn't lie to me."
Li Jingshen bit his lips with difficulty: "I..."
Shen Zhichu looked like he was about to cry but couldn't. The tears in his eyes couldn't help but roll out due to the trembling of his pupils.
The cat in her arms seemed to sense her sadness, cried anxiously, and finally broke free from her arms, jumped to the ground and ran away.
"Why did you prescribe me nerve-disrupting drugs? Why did you insist on making me lose my memory, even if it meant I would become a fool?" At this moment, her brain was buzzing and she couldn't concentrate. She was completely focused on what Li Jingshen said inside.
He had been lying to her all along, treating her like a fool and trapping her here. She had thought about this day, but she had never dared to believe that Li Jingshen, who loved her, would deceive her.
"Chu Chu, please listen to my explanation. It's not what you heard..."
"Then tell me what happened!" Chen Zhichu screamed with red eyes, his nerves suddenly snapping. "Li Jingshen, which of your words are true? On the one hand, you said you loved me and would never cheat on me or let me down, but on the other hand, you made up a lie from beginning to end. Do you know that? I'm so scared. I'm scared that I'll give my heart to you but live in a lie. I'm scared that I'll give myself to you and you'll give me a fatal blow. I'm scared that the person who brought me hope will drag me into despair!"
Shen Zhichu's voice had long been choked with sobs. Tears streamed down her face, and she sobbed uncontrollably: "I have nothing left... All that's left is this heart in my chest. Do you understand?"
During this period of time, she had been deceiving herself. She was not afraid of having nightmares, but she was afraid that everything in the dream was real.
She loved Li Jingshen and also believed that Li Jingshen loved her, but when she heard the conversation between Li Jingshen and Ji Shiyan in the reception room, her heart sank into an abyss that was bottomless.
She clearly remembered every word he said at that time, especially the sentence: "If she can stay with me, I would rather she become a fool."
Li Jingshen stood there in silence, looking at her with sad eyes, as if she had done something to hurt him.
"Tell me, which of your words is true and which is false?"
Chen Zhichu wiped the tears from her face: "Was our marriage fake? Did you forge my identity as an orphan? And what you said about meeting me, the car accident, and the relationship between us were all lies to me, right?"
Chen Zhichu didn't ask a single question before she felt a sharp pain in her chest. The wound there was getting bigger and bigger, and the pain was so severe that it engulfed her whole body with blood.
She felt so sad, sad that the two of them were so close, but the connection between them was a lie, and now that the lie was shattered, there was nothing left between them.
Like a dried stone, it looks hard on the surface but actually breaks easily if squeezed.
"Chu Chu, I do all this for your own good, for our future. You said you loved me and would not leave me." Li Jingshen walked forward eagerly. He raised his hand, but before he could touch Shen Zhichu, she slapped his hand away mercilessly.
"Don't touch me!" At this time, Shen Zhichu was like a hedgehog with thorns all over his body. He subconsciously protected himself and didn't care about other people's feelings at all. He just used his thorns to stab people all over.
"What disgusts me most is that some people, under the guise of doing good for me, wantonly control my spirit and freedom. Such good intentions are more disgusting than maggots in a sewer."
She didn't know what happened between her and Li Jingshen before she lost her memory, which is why he controlled her memory like this.
She just lost her memory, not her IQ. Since Li Jingshen was afraid that she would recover her memory, it proved that what happened between them had reached an irreversible point.
All she could guess was just the surface, and there was a more terrifying truth waiting for her.
Li Jingshen frowned: "Chuchu, why would you think so? Can't you feel how good I am to you?"
"Li Jingshen, do you think I'm a fool?"
Li Jingshen looked down at her, his brows shrouded in an inextricable sorrow. "Don't let your imagination run wild. What happened between us is what it is. Stay by my side and don't leave me. My promise to you will never change. I don't deny that there were lies between us at the beginning, but this is just a trivial matter in our relationship. Can you just pretend that you didn't hear anything today and that nothing happened? Isn't it good for us to be just like usual?"
"Zhichu, you are more important than my life. If you are sad, I will be a million times sadder than you."
Shen Zhichu would have been moved by his words before, but how could she dare to believe him now?
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