Chapter 277 The bird's wings were finally broken by you
"Why wasn't it you who died?"
Li Jingshen suddenly lost the ability to speak, as if a sharp knife was piercing into the deepest part of his heart, causing him to bleed and feel pain.
"Li Jingshen, I'm so tired." Perhaps she was really tired, her voice was so soft that it was inaudible.
I used to think that being alive was enough, but now I understand that living is the hardest thing. It is so hard to endure. Time has turned into a knife that cuts into her flesh bit by bit. Every minute and every second is torture.
"It was just an accident..." All he wanted was for Shen Zhichu to be well, but he found that Shen Zhichu's complexion became increasingly unhealthy, and his body became increasingly thinner.
It was he who asked the doctor to forcibly abort their child, but he never thought that Shen Zhichu would lose her motherhood.
"Accident?" Shen Zhichu looked at Li Jingshen and said hoarsely, "You wanting to take away my child was an accident? You controlling my memory was also an accident? Do you know that an accident of yours could kill a person's life? Li Jingshen, are you satisfied? You have finally broken the wings of this bird."
Can a bird with broken wings still survive?
Li Jingshen admitted that he was selfish and would do anything to get what he wanted, but now he was helpless. He was obviously the leader at the beginning, but gradually the position changed.
"Chen Zhichu, I did all this because I love you so much."
"The price of your love is too high. I can't afford it." Shen Zhichu really fell in love with Li Jingshen during the period of amnesia. She always lamented that Li Jingshen was very good to her, but now it seems that all the kindness he showed her had to be paid at a heavy price.
Now all that love has turned to ashes and disappeared.
"Zhichu, I've never loved anyone in my life, and I don't know how to love anyone. I want to be good to you, but every time I make things turn out badly..."
"There are many things I can't tell you. I'm afraid you'll be upset when you're sick, and I'm even more afraid you'll leave me."
"Zhi Chu, no matter what I do, you will never forgive me?"
Li Jingshen's voice became softer and softer. The first sentence was spoken to himself, and the next two sentences were spoken to Shen Zhichu. He was like a prisoner trapped in despair. He was used to the darkness, but the appearance of Shen Zhichu became his only light. He had tasted warmth, so how could he be willing to return to darkness? What should he do for the rest of his life?
"I said I would hate you for the rest of my life." Shen Zhichu said in a light tone, and although he said he hated him, his face was calm and did not reveal a trace of hideous hatred.
Li Jingshen nodded: "I also said that I will make it up to you for the rest of my life, even if you hate me for the rest of your life."
The two of them were now a dead knot, and if they wanted to untie it, they had to cut off the other end. However, Shen Zhichu's end was already tattered and could be broken with a slight pull.
Shen Zhichu closed his eyes.
……….
After Zhao Qian brought the blue and white porcelain vase containing the ashes back to the villa, he asked the housekeeper to arrange for someone to pack a few sets of spare clothes and toiletries for Li Jingshen.
Mrs. Zhang's eyelids have been twitching for the past two days. Her left eye twitches for good and her right eye twitches for bad. Her right eye twitches constantly, and she feels uneasy.
Before packing her clothes, Mrs. Zhang asked Zhao Qian, "Mr. Li hasn't been home for several days. Is he going on a business trip somewhere?"
Zhao Qian answered without much thought: "Boss Li is not on a business trip and is in the hospital right now."
"Why are you in the hospital? Are you feeling unwell?" Mrs. Zhang asked with a worried look on her face.
"It's not Mr. Li, it's his wife who's in the hospital."
When Mrs. Zhang heard this, she was filled with shock and fear. She grabbed her apron with both hands and said, "Madam is back? Why is she in the hospital?"
Zhao Qian didn't notice her abnormality and said "hmm". It was not convenient to tell them that Shen Zhichu was hospitalized for an abortion. He didn't say anything more and changed the subject. He asked Mrs. Zhang to pack up quickly because he would take her to the hospital later.
Mrs. Zhang hurried upstairs and opened the wardrobe. On the right were Shen Zhichu's clothes, and on the left were Li Jingshen's. Two completely different styles of clothes were placed in the same wardrobe.
Shen Zhichu's clothes tend to be casual, while Li Jingshen's clothes are mostly formal shirts. You can probably tell a person's usual personality from his clothes.
Mrs. Zhang opened the suitcase and began to carefully pack Li Jingshen's clothes. Finally, she put two of Shen Zhichu's clothes in. She couldn't help but shed tears while pinching a sweater.
The fact that my wife is in the hospital means her baby was aborted. She's been pregnant for four months now.
Mrs. Zhang packed her clothes and took them downstairs while crying. Zhao Qian was waiting downstairs. He took the suitcase and hurried to the hospital.
Mrs. Zhang's eyes were red and she didn't dare to look up. After the people left, she rubbed her eyes and muttered "What a sin!"
…….
Zhao Qian returned to the hospital. The door of the ward was half-open. He moved quietly to avoid disturbing the people inside and took a look inside first.
Li Jingshen sat alone on a small stool, his tall body hunched over decadently. Hearing the noise, the man turned his head and glanced at the door.
He is also the richest man in Rongcheng, the high-spirited man who logs on major financial platforms. His eyes are like an eagle, filled with indifference and gloom. At first glance, he seems uneasy, but a deeper look reveals his fragility.
Zhao Qian quickly came to his senses, holding the suitcase and quietly pushed open the door: "Boss Li, I brought your luggage."
"Pack them up and put them in the closet." The VIP ward is fully equipped with everything, including a separate closet with hangers that can hold a lot of clothes.
Zhao Qian quickly took out the clothes and hung them in the closet. He quickly glanced at Shen Zhichu, who seemed to be sleeping soundly on the bed, and asked, "Madam..."
Li Jingshen put his index finger to his lips, and Zhao Qian immediately fell silent. He pointed outside, and Li Jingshen stood up.
"Boss Li, how is Madam?"
The two of them stood in the smoking area. Li Jingshen lit a cigarette and started smoking. "I can't get pregnant after my uterus was removed." He smiled wryly at the doctor, "Zhao Qian, did I do something wrong?"
"Mr. Li, you're doing this for her own good, but your methods are a bit forceful. You should have told your wife from the beginning that she has stomach cancer and can't have children."
"I'm afraid she'll want to leave me."
"But what's the difference between her being like this and hating you back then?"
The atmosphere in the smoking area was stagnant. People like Li Jingshen who didn't understand love seemed to be heartless. They loved but couldn't ask for it and couldn't get it. He lived too darkly. His starting point was good, but if he made a mistake in the middle, the result would also be wrong.
"Yeah, there's no difference..." Li Jingshen put out his cigarette, leaned against the wall and let out a bitter laugh.
"Boss Li." Zhao Qian thought for a moment and advised, "Why don't you just let your wife go..."
"Impossible!" Shen Zhichu was the one who supported his life. He couldn't even imagine what his life would be like if he let her go.
"Mr. Li, do you want a living Shen Zhichu or a dead Shen Zhichu?" As an assistant, he couldn't say many things openly for fear of going too far, but he was afraid that if he didn't wake Li Jingshen up, he would regret it.
"I've already come this far, how can you let me let her go?" Li Jingshen roared silently, his eyes dyed red as if two drops of blood had dripped into them.
"If I let her go now, she'll die. Haven't you seen the look in her eyes when she woke up? There was no light in them at all, just a dead silence. She said she hated me, but her tone remained unchanged."
It would be best for Shen Zhichu to hate him. People have seven emotions and six desires, and hatred can prove that a person is still alive. If she disappears, then she is no different from a dead person.
Li Jingshen's gloomy mood almost swallowed him up. Zhao Qian pursed his lips and said with difficulty: "Boss Li, I'm just afraid that you will regret it."
Li Jingshen smiled bitterly: "I regret it now. If time could go back, I would rather not have met her..." He shouldn't have fallen in love with Shen Zhichu. People like him who don't understand feelings will only bring her harm. No one can go as planned in life. Now that he has come this far, there is no turning back.
Zhao Qian was silent for a long time: "But you are going to get engaged to Xia Mingyue in two months, what will Madam do then?"
"It's just an engagement, not a marriage. Shen Zhichu's blood type is too rare. I will find someone with the same blood type as her as soon as possible, so that I don't have to be constrained by Xia Mingyue anymore."
Shen Zhichu will definitely need surgery in the later stages, and he needs Xia Mingyue's blood.
Knowing that he couldn't persuade Li Jingshen, Zhao Qian didn't say anything more. Li Jingshen raised his hand and glanced at his watch: "It's been five minutes since I came out. I should go back. She has always been afraid of the hospital."
Zhao Qian looked at Li Jingshen's back. Why did that always unruly figure suddenly become so cold and desolate? As if it would shatter at the slightest touch.
…….
Shen Zhichu was unusually quiet. After the uterus was removed, she couldn't eat for 72 hours and could only receive nutrient solution.
The nutrient solution was milky white and viscous. Shen Zhichu was always afraid of pain, so Li Jingshen asked the nurse to give her an IV, so that the nutrient solution flowed slowly and was less painful.
On October 24, the third day after Shen Zhichu had undergone surgery, J City had gradually become colder. Shen Zhichu was afraid of cold and could not stand the cold. His left hand was kept outside to receive nutrient solution. His hand was as cold as ice, the surface of his skin was blue, and the bulging blood vessels were very glaring.
Li Jingshen asked the nurse to go to the supermarket to buy a hot water bottle, charge it and put it under Shen Zhichu's hand to warm it up.
With all the previous experiences, Li Jingshen didn't dare to touch Shen Zhichu too much, for fear of causing her to feel disgusted and hurt herself.
Li Jingshen lived cautiously in the ward, but Chen Zhichu was like nothing had happened, watching TV, daydreaming, and sometimes staring at the birds outside the window.
Li Jingshen suddenly remembered what Shen Zhichu said two days ago.
——"The bird's wings were finally broken by him."
At night, Shen Zhichu was often awakened by nightmares, gasping for breath, like a dying fish in the shallows. Li Jingshen hugged her tightly. His body was warm, but it could not warm her heart.
The cold liquid flowed into her neck. He was crying for the dead baby and for Shen Zhichu's loss of the right to be a mother.
Ignoring the IV on the back of his hand, Shen Zhichu raised his left hand and strangled the man's neck.
She was too weak, let alone strangling him to death, she couldn't even hurt him a bit.
The hand that was pinching Li Jingshen's neck was shaking all the time, not because of fear or pain, but because the hand that was crippled was shaking uncontrollably.
"Don't touch me, disgusting."
"Okay, I won't touch you, and don't move your left hand. There are needles stuck in it..."
The blood flowed back a little, but it was nothing serious. However, the bulging blood vessels looked creepy.
Li Jingshen let go of her tremblingly and returned to sit on the chair at the head of the bed. He didn't even dare to look at her directly, let alone how to hug her in the best way.
The ending of the two of them seemed destined to be tragic, so even an intimate gesture like hugging was hurtful.
………. .
Chen Zhichu closed her eyes again, her brain began to feel groggy, and sometimes she would confuse time, always feeling that she was still in that inconspicuous town. Although the rental house was not big, it was her home. The bed was small, but warm enough. The food was not delicious, but filling enough so that the children would not go hungry.
Shen Zhichu put his hand on his abdomen, trying to touch it as usual, and then he suddenly woke up with his eyes dark.
Her child had already been peeled out of her belly, taking out the "little house" where he lived.
It’s better if the uterus disappears along with the baby, so that the baby won’t be cold in heaven…
Li Jingshen said that she was sick and couldn't have children. She was indeed sick. The long-term illness had become incurable and only death could bring relief.
Although she was clearly alive, her soul had long since disappeared. Perhaps it was burned to ashes along with the dead child and then placed in the small blue and white porcelain.
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