Chapter 313: Let Me Be a Cold and Heartless Person in the Next Life
If she can only disappear after the last person who remembers her forgets her, then how long will that be?
Shen Zhichu looked at everything in front of him indifferently in mid-air. It turned out that when a person dies, no matter how boiling the emotions were in life, they will turn calm.
After her death, Shen Zhichu turned into a lonely soul. During her lifetime, she had thought about various possible afterlife scenarios, such as the Black and White Impermanence coming to take her soul, encountering the King of Hell, or even the Western Satan. At the very least, she would see people who had died like her: her father, mother, grandfather, and even Bai Qiu, who had not forgotten to carry her home before his death...
But no, she is the only special existence in the world. She can see the world, but they cannot see her.
There is a passage on the Internet that says that if a person turns into a soul after death and it does not dissipate for a long time, it must be because the person was too obsessed with something during his lifetime or had too much resentment and hatred, so he turned into a lonely ghost and wandered around the world.
But she was not like that. Death was a relief for her. The torture of stomach cancer, the pain of broken legs, the grief of losing important people, and the despair of being trapped by Li Jingshen all disappeared with the fire.
But how do you explain the fact that she turned into a soul and floated in the air?
………. .
On the first day after Shen Zhichu's death, she looked at the firefighters dealing with the rubble and floated over, apologetically saying, "I'm sorry, I made such a mess here. I have to trouble you to clean up the scene..."
The firefighters and medical staff were busy and did not hear her voice. She could only wave her hands vigorously, hoping to block the snow from the sky and prevent them from freezing.
………
The day after Shen Zhichu's death, she drifted aimlessly, completing the path she had walked in her lifetime.
…….
On the third day after Shen Zhichu's death, she saw Li Jingshen holding her charred body and placing it in a crystal coffin. He even asked someone to build a cold room for her. It looked very cold, but fortunately, she was dead and could no longer feel the cold.
………
On the fourth day after Shen Zhichu's death, Mrs. Zhang hurried back after hearing the news and cried for a long time facing the ruined villa. She floated over and silently said that she was fine, but Mrs. Zhang became more and more sad as she cried.
She followed Mrs. Zhang all the way and watched her alter the yellow sweater she had knitted for her daughter to her size.
…….
On the fifth day after Shen Zhichu's death, she floated to the hospital and saw Nian Nian. The beautiful ragdoll cat had changed beyond recognition. The burnt area was bald, one ear was missing, and a small part of its tail was cut off. She gently landed in front of it and kissed its eyes.
"Niannian, if you can't hold on any longer, please don't hold on any longer. I promise that I will come find you in the next life.
…….
On the sixth day after Shen Zhichu's death, she arrived in Chengdu and saw Shen Xiuli receiving a call from the J City Public Security Bureau informing him that she was dead.
She sat on the ground with Shen Xiuli and reminisced about the past. To be honest, she never thought that Shen Xiuli would cry after her death.
She stumbled through her life and finally stopped at the age of 27. She was born in an accident and was crushed to death in the despair day after day. She did not blame anyone for the result today, but only blamed herself for being blind.
She was originally the proud eldest daughter of the Shen family in Rongcheng, but she ruined her life because she mistook someone for nine years.
Once a person dies and his heart stops, no matter how much resentment he feels, he will not feel anything.
…….
On the eighth day after Shen Zhichu's death, Qin Mo had a big fight with Shen Xiuli for her. Qin Mo blamed himself and cried, while Shen Xiuli roared at the top of his lungs.
Qin Mo said that all of them were accomplices in her death, but in fact, they were not. She died... because of herself.
…….
On the ninth day after Shen Zhichu's death, she returned to J City again. After hearing Lu Tingchuan tell Li Jingshen the truth about what happened nine years ago, as well as the scar on her ear, she reached out and touched it, feeling deeply moved.
I didn't expect that Lu Tingchuan actually understood her better than Li Jingshen. Look... how ridiculous her life was.
The ninth day was undoubtedly the longest day. She followed Li Jingshen back and saw him spitting blood on the ground and saying that he regretted it. Then she saw her body enter the incinerator with a crackling sound and finally turned into ashes in a small urn.
Qin Mo did not forget what she said before she died, and took her ashes to the beach.
She raised her hand and gently wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes: "Qin Mo, I'm sorry that I couldn't say goodbye to you properly. I don't blame you, really. You are my best friend in the world, but I can't live as happily as you wished."
…….
Shen Zhichu suffered a lot in this short life. She had thought of giving up several times because of her bumpy life, but she persisted in the end. Because she lacked love since childhood, she longed to be loved.
She had been looked down upon by her family, betrayed by those she trusted, and the person she thought she loved was a mistake from the beginning.
But even if her fate is cruel and people in this world treat her unfairly, she does not want to turn into a ghost after her death. She chooses to die quietly. Whether she regrets or forgets, it is all destined.
…….
She had always seen the suicidal behavior Li Jingshen had done after her death, but was it meaningful? She was already dead.
Even if he experienced all the pain she had suffered in her life, it would be meaningless. She would not pity him, nor would she feel compassion and forgive him.
The damage has been done. Even if the scar heals and disappears, the pain is something she has experienced personally. No one is qualified to persuade her to forgive and let go. You don't know how painful it is if the damage is not on you.
Four lives, plus her own, a total of five lives. What can Li Jingshen use to pay them back?
There is no "if" in the world. They met the wrong person at the wrong time, and were destined to have no good results in this life. Besides, she didn't care about his tenderness.
In just a few days, Shen Zhichu saw all kinds of things in this world. Gradually, her soul became more and more transparent. Countless lights and shadows of past and present lives intertwined, playing a grand farewell before her eyes.
Just as she was about to disappear, a voice came from above her.
"You said your whole life has been a mistake. If I gave you a chance to start over, would you take it?"
Shen Zhichu said seriously: "I don't want it."
"Why?"
"What I want most in this life is two or three good friends, a cat, and someone I love. I already have all of these. I have Qin Mo, who loves me like family, Su Miao, Nian Nian, and Bai Qiu. This life is barely enough. I don't want to start over again... My appearance will only bring them misfortune. I want them to be well, as if I had never appeared."
If she hadn't appeared, her mother wouldn't have died in childbirth to protect her. She would have loved Shen Changnan for the rest of her life and taught Shen Xiuli well.
If she hadn't appeared, Bai Qiu wouldn't have ended up with a dismembered body because of her.
If she didn't show up, then the person entangled with Li Jingshen would be someone else, and then everyone's trajectory would be changed.
The voice was silent for a moment before asking, "Don't you hate those who hurt you? Look, they all regret it. Maybe starting over can change something."
"They just feel guilty about my death. Even if I could go back to the past, I still wouldn't be able to change anything. Comparatively, I would rather reincarnate and start over." Shen Zhichu paused, looked up and asked, "I don't even know who you are?"
"Do you believe in gods?"
Shen Zhichu smiled: "If there really is a god, please let me be a cold and heartless person in the next life, not bound by emotions, not loving anyone, and not caring about anyone."
"God satisfies you."
The soft light, like a meteor passing through the night, bloomed with the most beautiful brilliance at that moment. Shen Zhichu didn't expect that she could see such a beautiful light... and she didn't expect that she could feel her heartbeat again.
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