Chapter 365 Li Jingshen, What is your heart made of?
Li Jingshen stood alone like an outsider, watching Shen Zhichu carefully pick up the cat as if it were a treasure.
He felt a lump in his heart and felt very uncomfortable.
Chen Zhichu hugged Nian Nian and turned around to leave. After seeing Nian Nian, she really didn't want to stay in this place for even a second.
Li Jingshen saw that she was about to leave and reached out to stop her. Although he was thinner than before, he was still taller than Chen Zhichu. Standing there, he was like an impenetrable wall.
"I missed you so much these past three days." Li Jingshen looked like an abandoned puppy. Perhaps because he didn't get enough rest, his eyes were bruised and bloodshot, as if he had been crying all night.
In addition, he said this in a hoarse voice, which made it difficult for an ordinary person not to feel sympathy.
But unfortunately, Shen Zhichu is not an ordinary person.
"I know, get out of the way."
Being looked at coldly by Shen Zhichu, Li Jingshen felt as if his heart was shot, and it hurt so much for a moment.
He wiped his face: "Chen Zhichu, when I said I missed you very much, I missed you so much that I would die without you, you know?"
"I don't know, and I don't want to know. Besides..." Shen Zhichu paused and said with a sarcastic smile, "Aren't you still alive now?"
Li Jingshen's face showed pain and guilt, and his eyes were red from the pain. In addition to the pain in his chest, his head and legs also hurt. He didn't know how he had the strength to stand here and talk to Shen Zhichu.
"But I'm really dying. Shen Zhichu, I've never been in love in my life. I used to think I liked Xia Mingyue, so I treated you badly and did a lot of wrong things. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness..." Li Jingshen looked at her sadly, tears streaming down his face. "I really want to let you go and watch you from afar... But I tried and I really can't do it. Shen Zhichu, I really love you. There will never be anyone in this world who loves you more than me."
Chen Zhichu hugged the cat tightly in her arms. There were still tears in her eyes that had not yet dispersed. Now they sank down and she looked at Li Jingshen sinisterly.
This guy said he loved her? How ridiculous.
While saying he loved her, he pushed her into the abyss.
"Do you know why I teamed up with Lu Tingchuan and burned myself to death here? It's because I hate you, I want revenge on you, I want to get rid of you. Li Jingshen, I have died once. I am no longer the Shen Zhichu who was at your mercy. What qualifications do you have to stop me here and say you love me?"
The woman whose heart was filled with Li Jingshen had been burned to death in the fire.
Li Jingshen felt his chest aching more and more. He subconsciously bent over and wanted to find a place to sit down, but he couldn't... Because as soon as he left, Shen Zhichu would leave without mercy.
Li Jingshen breathed tremblingly and wiped the tears from his face. He looked at Shen Zhichu as if he saw a life-saving straw.
He raised his hand slightly, just a small movement, and Shen Zhichu took a few steps back with the cat in his arms. The wariness in his eyes was like a knife stabbing his heart.
Li Jingshen lowered his eyes, a bitter smile appearing at the corner of his mouth.
"I know you hate me, blame me, and no longer believe in me, but what I said is the truth. Your reappearance is already a great gift from God to me. I never thought that it would only take two years to pester you for the rest of my life... No, just one year will be enough..." Li Jingshen raised his index finger.
He was in the middle to late stages of lung cancer and would die in about three years. I heard that people with lung cancer get uglier as time goes by. He didn't need Shen Zhichu's whole life, nor did he need two or three years for Shen Zhichu to watch him die. He only needed one year, just a short year.
By then he was dead, on the other side of life and death, and he could do nothing even if he wanted to get entangled.
Such a small wish, as long as he asked Shen Zhichu more, maybe she would fulfill it. He became more confident, and when he looked at Shen Zhichu's face, his eyes cast away the pain and were filled with cautious expectations.
"You used to take care of my daily life at home. From now on, I will take care of you. I will work like a slave for you."
"I will slowly make up for what I owed you in the past. To be honest, there are many things we haven't done when we were together..." Li Jingshen's eyes were dazed for a moment, as if he was lost in the memories of the past.
"In the three years since you left, I've wished so much that we could be like a normal couple. I'd cook, you'd eat, we'd take walks after dinner, and I'd take care of all the housework. I'd no longer work overtime day and night, and I could spend all my extra time with you. We could go to amusement parks and movies together. Yes... I still owe you a grand wedding and a suitable ring. We haven't had a honeymoon together yet..."
Chen Zhichu had a blank expression on his face. He lowered his head and looked at Nian Nian in his arms. He gently stroked its fur and scratched its neck like he used to.
After hearing Li Jingshen's "love talk", she finally had a slight reaction. "What you didn't give in the past, there's no need to give in the future. Li Jingshen, have you ever heard a saying? Belated affection is cheaper than grass, just like a down quilt in summer and an electric fan in winter. Its existence is meaningless."
Li Jingshen shook his head: "But a winter fan can last until summer, and a summer quilt can last until winter, right? Since it exists, it must have a meaning."
Shen Zhichu frowned, she really doubted whether Li Jingshen could understand what people were saying.
"But just because you love me, does that mean I have to be with you? Let alone a year, a month, a day, an hour, a minute, or a second, I don't even want to be with you. Li Jingshen, I ask you, why should I be with someone who hurts me instead of choosing someone who treats me well from beginning to end? Isn't it good for us to live our own lives? Why do you have to force your way into my life?"
"But didn't you force your way into my life back then? Shen Zhichu, why should you just leave and escape completely after you inserted yourself into my life?" Li Jingshen was so excited that he directly pinched Shen Zhichu's thin shoulders.
Chen Zhichu was startled and subconsciously wanted to struggle, but the strength in Li Jingshen's hands was as great as giant hunting pincers. She was afraid that if she used too much force, she would hurt Nian Nian in her arms, so she could only stand there stiffly with her whole body on guard.
They were so close that they could smell each other's breath, one trembling, the other clear.
Chen Zhichu raised his head, his voice slightly cold: "Are you still feeling wronged? Then let me ask you, how did you treat me when I loved you but you didn't love me? And how did I treat you? I forced you to marry me, and for this I drew blood from Xia Mingyue for four years. It's a tit-for-tat, and we no longer owe each other anything."
"Li Jingshen, look at this cat. It's so afraid of fire, yet it wanted to save me from the fire. It knew I was going to die, yet it waited for me here for three years. I only took care of it for four months, but what about you? Four years. I couldn't warm your heart for four years. I want to see what your heart was made of back then!
"You took advantage of my love for you to hurt me time and time again! Trampling on my dignity! Locking me up at home like a dog and forcing me to bear your child, have you forgotten all this? And don't say that exchanging me for Xia Mingyue is indirectly protecting me. That's just an excuse for your weakness! You're really worse than a cat!"
"Now that you know you love me and want me to forgive you, it's already a good thing that I didn't strangle you to death with a dog leash. Don't joke about deep affection. Your regret is worthless in my eyes."
"Stop talking!" Li Jingshen suddenly shouted. He reached out and hugged Shen Zhichu tightly into his arms. It was a hug that was three years late, and the long-lost breath and temperature. It was obviously still the same person, the same smell, how could it have changed?
Li Jingshen wanted to hug this woman tightly with all his strength, his arms trembling, as if he wanted to hold her into his body and merge with her flesh and blood.
At this moment, Li Jingshen seemed to be clinging to a piece of driftwood in his dying struggle in the sea. If he let go, he would die instantly.
Shen Zhichu struggled violently in his arms. She held the cat with one hand and grabbed his neck with the other, beating and biting him. She left several bright red blood marks on Li Jingshen's jaw and bit his arm hard.
It looked very painful and even bleeding, but Li Jingshen seemed to feel nothing, because for him, other parts of his body were much more painful than this external injury.
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