Chapter 550: Pitiful and Hateful
People who know they won't live long can be divided into two extreme categories: one is content to die peacefully and quietly, and the other is unwilling to give up and develop a revengeful mentality.
Based on her understanding of Li Jingshen, she thought he was more inclined to the second type.
If a person wants revenge, he is willing to pay any price to fill the void, even if it hurts like hell. The moment of death is truly exhilarating.
Chen Zhichu thought of some things in the past and couldn't help but clench his fists. His knuckles turned white and he didn't even notice that his fingertips were pinching into the flesh of his palms.
After a while, Shen Zhichu let go of her hand, and then she felt the pain. She spread out her hand and looked at the nail marks on her palm.
Bai Qiujing was admitted to the hospital. If she didn't respond, his body might not be able to bear it. Shen Zhichu wanted to go back, but she also knew clearly that she couldn't go back for the time being.
After reading the text message, she raised her hand, typed a row of words and then deleted them, deleting and reducing them over and over again, not knowing what to say to Bai Qiujing.
In the end, there were only a few short words.
——I'm fine, don't worry, I'll be back.
The next day, Li Jingshen asked someone to prepare two bicycles. Li Jingshen pushed one of the bicycles in front of Shen Zhichu without saying a word.
"Can you ride a bike?"
Shen Zhichu can ride a bicycle, but she hasn't ridden it in a long time, so she might be a little rusty. But if she doesn't ride it herself...
Shen Zhichu glanced at the back seat of the bicycle inconspicuously.
She reached out and took it: "Where are you going?"
"It's not far, just follow me."
The air is good in the morning. Riding a bicycle can not only exercise the body but also adjust the mood and relax the nerves.
Shen Zhichu pushed her bicycle forward. She racked her brains but couldn't figure out where Li Jingshen was going to take her. The morning air was very good, and the cold wind blew her long hair, making her feel a little cold.
Li Jingshen was wearing little, just a light-colored sweater and not even a coat. He was riding a bicycle in front, and the distance between him and Shen Zhichu was no more than two meters. Occasionally, the two of them would ride side by side.
The scenery is beautiful and the air is fresh. This most primitive smell of nature is what is most lacking in big cities. Shen Zhichu rode all the way and then noticed how big the Li family's old house was. This whole mountain belonged to the Li family.
Li Jingshen said it wasn't far, but it took him more than half an hour to ride the bike.
It was fine at the beginning, but she got tired towards the end. Shen Zhichu had no time to enjoy the scenery. She felt a little impatient when she saw Li Jingshen riding leisurely in front of her, but she managed to hold it back because of what Li Jingshen said yesterday.
He said that as long as she followed him to this place, he would take her back to Chengdu.
"arrive."
After riding such a long distance, Li Jingshen's expression was normal, but his face was a little pale. He turned his head and Shen Zhichu met his dim gaze.
Li Jingshen has deep eye sockets and his long black eyelashes slightly cover his eyes, making his expression difficult to read.
Shen Zhichu raised his head, missing Li Jingshen's figure and looking over. It was a cemetery where several generations of the Li family were buried.
Li Jingshen put the bicycle aside and walked in. Shen Zhichu hesitated and followed him.
Finally, Li Jingshen stopped in front of two tombstones.
Li Jingshen looked at them quietly for a while before he raised the corner of his lips and said, "Mom and Dad, I brought the person I like to see you."
Shen Zhichu frowned, but ultimately said nothing.
There are photos on the tombstone, which has been waterproofed. Someone comes to wipe it every month, and the photos are still clean. However, after a long time, even the most waterproof photos can show traces of time.
Li Jingshen's appearance combines the advantages of his parents and is outstandingly good-looking.
Li Jingshen squatted down, reached out and rubbed the words on the tombstone, then knelt on both knees and said in a hoarse voice: "I should have brought her here to see you earlier. It's my fault. Too much time was wasted and too much emotion was consumed."
After all this time, Shen Zhichu no longer loved him, and there was no longer much point in bringing her here.
Li Jingshen's dejected figure knelt there, his voice fluctuating and ethereal, as if a gust of wind could blow him away.
Li Jingshen didn't say anything else, he just thought silently in his heart.
The figures of his parents in his memory became increasingly blurred. Every time he tried to think carefully, the final image always remained of the car accident, with his parents' blood staining his eyes red.
He cried helplessly, the water slowly drowned him, and his nostrils were filled with the smell of blood.
He had nightmares for more than ten years, until Christmas Eve of that year when he was pushed into the water. A thin figure jumped in despite the cold and grabbed his hand.
From then on, Li Jingshen no longer had nightmares about his parents, and he was not even as afraid of water anymore.
In that photo album, there were only photos of Li Jingshen, no photos of his parents, and no friends.
In fact, he had one before, but it was burned later. At the age of seven or eight, he needed his parents' company, but Li Jingshen didn't even have a photo of his parents. When he missed them, he could only ride his bicycle far away to come here and sit for a night.
Is it pitiful?
Pitiful.
But also hateful.
Shen Zhichu stood aside for ten minutes. The heat in his body gradually faded away, and the hot sweat turned cold. The cold wind blew and made him feel a little cold.
Li Jingshen seemed to sense Shen Zhichu's coldness, and he stood up: "Let's go back."
"You won't stay a little longer?"
"No need." He would be able to see them in person soon, so it wouldn't matter if he waited a little longer.
Li Jingshen said, "Don't you want to go back to Rongcheng? Let's go back today."
The two did not ride their bicycles back immediately, but pushed them slowly forward.
"If." Li Jingshen stared at the road with his eyes downcast, his voice filled with emptiness. "If I had met you earlier than Bai Qiujing, or if I hadn't mistaken Xia Mingyue for you back then and hadn't treated you so badly...would the outcome be different now?"
Shen Zhichu was silent without any response. The wind in the valley was howling, as if someone was crying, as if responding to Li Jingshen's words.
Li Jingshen wanted to grasp the last straw and asked impatiently: "If time could go back, we could go back to the beginning..."
"Maybe..." Shen Zhichu's light voice blew into Li Jingshen's ears with the wind.
Li Jingshen's dim pupils lit up for a moment, but then he heard Shen Zhichu finish the next sentence coldly.
"But there are no ifs in this world, Li Jingshen. The biggest mistake I made in my life was that I recognized the wrong person and loved the wrong person. Correcting mistakes when you know them is a principle that even children understand."
Shen Zhichu turned his head and glanced at the rows of tombstones behind him. In the cemetery, it seemed that even the best weather would become lifeless.
"I used my life to teach you how to love someone, but you don't seem to have learned it." Shen Zhichu's tone was filled with cold sarcasm.
"Then tell me how to love someone?"
"If you truly loved her, you should have let her go, parted ways, and lived happily, instead of causing her pain. Your so-called love, to me, seems more like revenge for not loving you." Is taking her to do normal couples' things loving her? Is taking her to the cemetery to meet his deceased parents loving her?
Li Jingshen's eyes were bloodshot: "What if Bai Qiujing doesn't want you to be with another woman anymore, can you let him go completely?"
"Have you forgotten why I'm still with you?" Shen Zhichu looked at him seriously and replied, "I love Bai Qiujing, so I'm willing to be by your side and protect him. This is the difference between me and your lover."
It's too difficult for him to learn to let go.
Li Jingshen's face was ashen. He seemed to have grabbed a handful of sugar sand. The tighter he held on, the faster the sugar sand fell. Before he could taste the sweetness of the sugar, the sugar sand had disappeared from his palm. He could only lick the remaining sweetness in his palm with his tongue in a daze. The sweeter the sugar in his palm, the more regretful he felt.
Li Jingshen had known the outcome long ago. He and Shen Zhichu were like two intersecting lines. After the intersection, the two lines moved further and further apart. He could not save it all and could not be with Shen Zhichu. Facing the loss, he made a hundred and twenty mental preparations, but still did not know how to face losing everything about her.
Just like that year, when Shen Zhichu jumped into the water to save him, he didn't know how to face her helping hand. In the process, he accidentally pulled the pearl earring on her ear, causing her earlobe to be torn and injured, and she had to get several stitches.
They didn't bring any luggage when they came to J City, so they naturally didn't need to pack when they left.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
