Chapter 561 What if You Really Want to Leave?
"The flowers are blooming on the roadside, so you can go home slowly." Bai Qiujing spoke in a low and slow voice, as if these words were spoken unconsciously from the heart. Although it was such a warm sentence, Shen Zhichu felt sad when he heard it. He blinked and couldn't help but feel sad.
Returning to the bedroom, Shen Zhichu saw the divorce agreement on the bedside at a glance. She had placed the divorce agreement there when she left, and it was still in its original position when she came back.
The only difference is that there are obvious wrinkles on those pages, which shows that they have been flipped over and over for a long time.
"You didn't throw it away?" Shen Zhichu felt a little guilty when he saw the divorce agreement he had signed.
Bai Qiujing shook his head: "I want to wait for you to come back to explain, what if... you really want to leave?" After he said that, the corners of his mouth curled up with an indelible bitterness.
The few days when Shen Zhichu left without saying goodbye almost broke him down. At that time, he almost risked his life. While looking for him, he thought of the two worst outcomes: if he found Shen Zhichu, and Li Jingshen didn't let him go, he would die with him.
But if he fails to find her, he will have no choice but to let Shen Zhichu go free and not let this agreement tie her down.
Bai Qiujing never believed that Shen Zhichu would abandon him and go with someone else, he just didn't believe his physical condition.
Shen Zhichu swallowed his throat: "Why are you so stupid?"
"Because I'm Bai Qiu."
It is Bai Qiu who will only wait for you in the same place and dare not approach you. Bai Qiu's inferiority complex comes from stupidity. At that time, everyone said that he was a big fool and not worthy of Shen Zhichu. He didn't even have the qualifications to get close to her. He could only secretly watch her from a distance. Even to protect her, she couldn't stand in front of him.
Having been stupid for fifteen or sixteen years, inferiority has been deeply ingrained in his bones. The first time Bai Qiu saw Shen Zhichu was under the wisteria tree in the orphanage. A sense of familiarity arose from his heart. He was holding a small biscuit in his hand. It was not a good thing, but it was his favorite in the orphanage. He had saved it for a long time, and when he saw her, he couldn't help but give all the biscuits to her.
Even the director was shocked at that time. Just as the director of the orphanage said, although Bai Qiu was silly, he never knew how to please others.
The stupid man had a wild nature, like a group of wild wolves, fiercely guarding his food. It was the first time he shared his food with someone he had just met.
It was that time, after Shen Zhichu left the orphanage, he didn't have her contact information, so he asked the director to call her and send her text messages every day, and he was so anxious that he ran around everywhere.
He only found out later that Shen Zhichu's birthday was on May 21st. The children in the orphanage had prepared gifts for her, but he had none.
Apart from helping the dean with farm work, cleaning, doing odd jobs, and cleaning up rats regularly, he seems to be unable to do anything else.
The big cherries came out in May, each one was round and red. The red color suited Chen Zhichu the best. Bai Qiu wanted to make a pair of earrings for her, but one cherry was too few, so he made a bunch of them, which looked like a candied haws.
The car that Shen Zhichu drove that day was still parked in the orphanage's parking lot. He wiped it every day to ensure that there was no dust at all.
I was washing the car while waiting for someone. It was two months later when I waited for her again. Summer was almost turning into autumn.
Shen Zhichu did not come alone that day, she brought another man with her, who was her husband.
It turns out that she is already married.
The dean laughed at him, "Don't even think about it. You're a complete fool. How could she be interested in you? Even if you weren't stupid, you wouldn't have a chance. Do you know what her husband does? He's the richest man in Chengdu, rich and handsome. Would someone who's used to a life of luxury pick up trash with you?"
The dean said a lot, and Bai Qiu only heard half of it. The general meaning was that he was not worthy.
Outsiders say that Shen Zhichu married a good husband and her husband treats her very well.
But is this really the case?
Bai Qiu saw with his own eyes that Li Jingshen's eyes were full of contempt and arrogance.
Love should be about equality, not superiority.
After Chen Zhichu left that day, he never showed up again.
He knew so little about Shen Zhichu that he didn't even know she was married, let alone what she did or where she lived.
I only knew that she had acquaintances in the hospital, so I simply started doing odd jobs there. I went to the hospital before dawn and was more diligent than the guard dog.
He had never been so obsessed with something before. He came eagerly and waited eagerly, even though others never took him seriously.
The cookies kept piling up until his pockets were full of candy. He couldn't bear to eat any of them, and he couldn't find anyone to share them with.
Once a person becomes dependent, he is like a child in kindergarten waiting to be picked up.
He waited eagerly in the hospital, and finally Shen Zhichu arrived.
But Chen Zhichu's words, "You're just a fool, there's no possibility between us," shattered his courage and joy that he had finally mustered.
People dislike clinging stray dogs. Even if they roll on the ground with their soft belly exposed, no one will squat down to touch them.
I wouldn't say I'm depressed, but my inferiority complex has become even stronger.
Perhaps because he was too self-conscious about being a fool, he had an unprecedented obsession to return to normal.
It was an accident that he was able to recover his memory. After he chopped off Shen Xiuli's hand, he was afraid of being caught, so he didn't dare to go back to the orphanage and hid outside until he was caught by a group of people and locked in a dark room.
His hands were broken, his legs were pierced by bullets, and he didn't know how long he had been suffering from all kinds of torture. He couldn't tell the time, couldn't see the sun, and didn't even know when it was day or night.
Lu Tingchuan conducted many drug experiments on him, one of which was a nerve-destroying drug, which was successfully tested on him.
It was also at that time that he recovered all his memories. He remembered that when he was nine years old, in the amusement park, a little girl named Shen Zhichu lay on his back, licking a candied haws and saying that she wanted to marry him.
Time flies so fast. The little girl who said she wanted to marry him has grown into the graceful eldest daughter of the Shen family. She is so beautiful that even if he becomes a fool, he still can't help but fall in love with her.
It’s a pity that he couldn’t bring Shen Zhichu back safely that time.
Now Bai Qiu has become Bai Qiujing, but the inferiority and timidity that came from Bai Qiu are still there. Even though he later found out that Shen Zhichu likes him, he still can't help but think, what if he becomes that fool with nothing again, can he still keep Shen Zhichu?
This time, Shen Zhichu's departure made Bai Qiujing reflect on whether he was too weak and Shen Zhichu didn't believe he could fight against Li Jingshen, so she chose to leave? Or did she think he couldn't protect her?
Bai Qiujing had a nightmare. In the dream, he could only see Shen Zhichu's back. He tried hard to chase her, but he couldn't catch up with her. He ran out of breath, and his chest was squeezed into a ball, as if all the air in his chest cavity had been squeezed out.
He reached out to grab Shen Zhichu, but Shen Zhichu turned back and moved further away from him, with endless cold wind passing through his fingers.
"Bai Qiujing, let's get a divorce..."
"Chen Zhichu, don't leave me..." I will try my best to be a better person, I won't let anyone bully you, I can protect you, I am not the fool I used to be.
"Qiu Jing...A Jing, wake up. You're having a nightmare again."
Bai Qiujing has been having nightmares every day recently and his nerves are extremely weak. When asked what he dreamed about, he refused to say anything and only kept calling out "Chen Zhichu's" name.
Sometimes Bai Qiujing would wake up on his own and sit blankly by the bed, neither sleeping nor talking, for an hour or two until Shen Zhichu noticed him.
Shen Zhichu told Bai's mother about Bai Qiujing's nightmare.
Bai's mother was silent for a moment and then said, "He was often like this during the few days you disappeared. I thought he would be fine after you came back, but I didn't expect him to be like this again."
"Has this happened to him before?"
"Yes, he was like this when we first took him back. But it was more serious at that time, so serious that we had to hypnotize him to make him forget the past." Mother Bai showed heartache on her face when she thought of the past.
Looking at Shen Zhichu's dazed face, Bai's mother suppressed her worries and comforted Shen Zhichu, "Don't worry, Qiu Jing will be fine. He's like this now because he's worried about losing you. With time, he won't be like this anymore. The night he went to pick you up, he was afraid that Li Jingshen wouldn't let you leave, so he even prepared explosives and put them in the trunk of the car."
At that time, Bai Qiujing had prepared himself to fight for his life and die together, but his face was calm and no change in his mood could be seen.
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