Chapter 726 Bai Qiujing never married
Lu Tingchuan listened to Li Jingshen coughing and thought about it. Li Jingshen was already 35 years old this year, and he still couldn't escape his fate. After Shen Zhichu died, he remembered what Shen Zhichu said and lived a good life.
He is still alive, but he smokes and drinks every day. Although he is young, his lungs are as old as an old man.
His whole life was thirty-six years old.
"Li Jingshen, are you afraid of death?"
"Don't be afraid. What's more hopeless than death is a life worse than death."
"So do you want to die?" Lu Tingchuan asked.
"I do. I want to see her every minute, but she doesn't want me to die, nor does she want to see me." The "she" that Li Jingshen was talking about was Shen Zhichu.
Shen Zhichu hated Li Jingshen just as Shen Qing hated him. The person he thought he would be able to see after his death might not be able to see him even after his death.
"People like us often don't cherish what we get easily, and only regret it when we lose it. We try to grab it back to where it was, but we end up pushing people further away. The cycle repeats itself, leaving us feeling unwilling and regretful."
Li Jingshen fell into deep thought as he listened to Lu Tingchuan's words. He took out a cigarette and a lighter from his jacket pocket, lit it, took a puff, and exhaled a puff of smoke.
There was a thin layer of blue smoke, which was blown away by the wind. Li Jingshen took two puffs of the cigarette and started coughing. People say that smoking is to relieve sorrow, but Li Jingshen seemed to be torturing himself and wanted to die quickly.
"Smoke less..."
"It's no use. I'm already sick."
Lu Tingchuan was stunned: "If you want treatment, I can research medicine here..."
"No need. I've been waiting for this day. I really can't bear it any longer. I've endured for so many years, now it's your turn. Lu Tingchuan, it's time for you to get your retribution. You still have two children, raise them well." Li Jingshen looked at the photo of Shen Qing on the tombstone, and suddenly remembered something from the past, his eyes full of sadness.
"I used to think Shen Zhichu was quite cruel, not only to others but also to herself. Now, in comparison, I think Shen Qing is even crueler than her. A woman's cruelty is always forced out of her. How did you, Lu Tingchuan, force her to give up the child even after giving birth?"
Shen Qing should have lived a better life. If she hadn't met Lu Tingchuan, she might have become a screenwriter now. She could have earned enough money from working to go to college and live an ordinary life.
"Don't talk about me. You just let a woman die in the fire. Shen Zhichu died to avenge you." The words were full of sarcasm, but the tone was calm, without any emotion.
Li Jingshen's voice was hoarse: "She succeeded."
"Shen Qing also succeeded." Lu Tingchuan asked, "I want to ask you a question."
Li Jingshen put down the cigarette in his hand and looked at Lu Tingchuan, waiting for what he would say next.
"If Shen Zhichu was still here and was with someone else, what would you do?"
"I will be unwilling, reluctant, unwilling, and unconvinced, but all these emotions combined are not as good as being grateful. I am grateful that she is still here. If she is still alive, I am willing to exchange my whole life's pursuit for her happiness. I want to watch her walk towards her happiness in her wedding dress. I will let her go, as long as she doesn't die, as long as she is well and happy for the rest of her life." Li Jingshen smiled bitterly, his eyes were sore and unbearable, his eyes were red, and suddenly a picture emerged in his mind. Chen Zhichu was running towards her happiness with her skirt lifted up.
And he was standing dejectedly in an inconspicuous corner behind her, feeling unwilling but then slowly letting go.
Under the warm sun and cool breeze, cicadas chirp tirelessly.
"What a pity... there are no ifs." The smile on Li Jingshen's face was uglier than crying, "I feel disgusted even by myself now."
After hearing what Li Jingshen said, Lu Tingchuan couldn't tell for a moment whether this life was the previous life, the next life, or another time and space in a parallel world? But the result was the same: he lost Shen Qing in both lives.
Before leaving, Li Jingshen glanced at Lu Tingchuan, who was kneeling on the ground and carefully wiping Shen Qing's photo on the tombstone with a tissue. He was wiping the cold tombstone, but looking at the movements of his hands and his eyes, it seemed as if he was wiping Shen Qing through the cold tombstone.
After Li Jingshen left, Lu Tingchuan sat down beside the tombstone when he was tired of kneeling, and leaned his head against it. He would take some time every day to come here and tell Shen Qing what happened to the two children.
For example, today Yu Sheng wet the bed and peed on Yu Nian.
The two children listen to the songs sung by Shen Qing on the mobile phone every day, and now they can actually open their mouths and hum along with the tune.
Lu Tingchuan took out the baby's breath from the bag and carefully placed it in front of the tombstone.
"Time flies so fast, the baby's breath is over." Shen Qing, I miss you.
As the sky gradually darkened, Lu Tingchuan stood up shakily and smiled at Shen Qing's photo. "I'll come see you tomorrow. When the two children can go out, I'll bring them with me."
Lu Tingchuan went home, washed and disinfected his body before going to see the two children, holding the younger sister first and then the older brother.
The two children grinned happily when they saw their father. Lu Tingchuan went to mix the milk with familiarity. His hand holding the bottle looked very nice, slender and clean, with knuckles curled up and a hint of loneliness.
The weather was warm, so Lu Tingchuan asked the doctor if he could take the two children outside.
"Where are you taking it?"
"The cemetery, I want them to see Shen Qing."
"You can take them out. The weather is warm today. Don't worry. Both children's physical indicators are normal now. It depends on whether they have allergies. You just need to be careful and come to the hospital if there are any problems."
Lu Tingchuan nodded to indicate that he remembered it.
This time, Lu Tingchuan brought his two children with him. The driver drove the car and Aunt Lin accompanied him. The car was filled with baby supplies.
It was the first time for the two children to go on a long journey. They did not sleep in the car, but kept their eyes open and looked around.
After getting out of the car, Lu Tingchuan held the two children in his arms, and Aunt Lin pushed the stroller at the back. After getting in, Lu Tingchuan saw the backs of the two children, one big and one small, from a distance.
The one who came to the cemetery this time was Bai Qiujing. There was an explanation for Li Jingshen’s coming, but why did Bai Qiujing appear here? Could it be that he also had memories of his previous life?
Bai Qiujing stood straight in front of Shen Qing's tombstone, his eyes cast downwards, looking at Shen Qing's photo on the tombstone, her name... Twenty-two years old, a short and absurd life.
Bai Qiujing didn't know Shen Qing, and he didn't understand why he came here. He was obviously an insignificant person, but when he stood in front of the tombstone, he felt very sad for a moment, and his breathing became heavy.
Thirty-four-year-old Bai Qiujing has yet to meet someone he likes. He adopted a girl from an orphanage and named her Nianchu.
Always be grateful and your original intention will not change.
But is that really the only meaning? Bai Qiujing didn't know. He always felt that he would meet a very important person in his life. If he forgot her, he would never meet her again.
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