Chapter 566 He understood how he lost Shen Zhichu
Now the only person accompanying Li Jingshen is Zhao Qian, who is responsible for his food, daily life, and treatment.
Although they appear normal on the surface, their lungs are actually rotten. Sometimes when he looks at the lungs on the film, he can't help but wonder, can human lungs become so ugly?
Zhao Qian tried his best to conceal the matter of Shen Zhichu's wedding, but Li Jingshen still found out.
This person is like this. He says he has given up, but he can't help but find out about her.
Fortunately, Li Jingshen didn't react much on the surface. He ate and drank as usual, as if he didn't take it to heart.
At first, Zhao Qian also thought so, thinking that he had really let it go.
It was not until one day when Li Jingshen fainted from illness, still calling Shen Zhichu's name in a daze, that Zhao Qian realized that he had never let go.
"Chen Zhichu." He called out this name in pain, his voice filled with grievance and tears.
After waking up, Li Jingshen seemed to have forgotten that he had called "Chen Zhichu"'s name.
Zhao Qian asked him, "Boss Li, have you not let it go yet?"
"What are you talking about? I let it go a long time ago." Li Jingshen just smiled indifferently.
After Zhao Qian left, he seemed to have lost his soul, staring blankly at the dead branches outside the window.
What you can't get, you can never get, what you can't get back, you can never get back. It was Shen Zhichu who taught him how to love and be loved, and also made him understand a truth: not all obsessions can be reciprocated.
A broken mirror cannot be mended, and not everything can be reconciled as before.
Zhao Qian often asked him, "Does it hurt?"
It hurts, not in the lungs, but in the heart.
The pain was so intense, as if being stabbed from the inside out by a knife, as if being tightly wrapped around a rope, with my chest twitching as if it was about to burst, or as if being torn apart by ants and insects and falling into an endless abyss.
In addition to the torture of illness, he also suffered from insomnia and couldn't sleep all night.
He couldn't help but slap himself twice. The slaps were so strong that the sound was particularly loud in the silent night. His palms were numb, not to mention his face. For a moment, his face lost consciousness, and it took a while before he felt the numbness again. His ears were buzzing.
"Pa——" Li Jingshen slapped himself again, cursing as if he didn't feel the pain.
"You deserve it! You're the one who ruined her feelings!"
Snap——
"What right do you have to feel pain?"
Snap——
"She doesn't want you anymore. What's the point of thinking so deeply about her? She's been good enough to you."
Snap——
The belated affection is not even comparable to that of the maggots in the gutter.
"She got married, she has found someone else, she doesn't want me anymore." Li Jingshen rubbed the layer of clothes on his left chest and twisted it into a ball, crying and retching uncomfortably, sobbing uncontrollably, and it was the first time he cried and couldn't breathe.
Shen Zhichu said that he didn't react so strongly when they got their marriage certificate. It was not until he saw her wedding that he understood what that meant.
Let’s part ways and be happy, live in peace every year, and never see each other again in this life.
He is not happy at all.
…
The day of Shen Zhichu's wedding soon arrived, and it became a hot topic on the headlines. Major media outlets rushed to report on it, fearing that others would not know about it.
As soon as Li Jingshen opened his phone, he saw the push message. His fingers trembled, but in the end he didn't click it.
He wanted to go see her, but he also knew that he was not qualified. Who was he to Shen Zhichu?
They are the most familiar strangers, and enemies who have been entangled for most of their lives. They are the most distant yet close relationship in this world, ex-husband and ex-wife.
He knew very well how they divorced. It was because he used Shen Zhichu to exchange for Xia Mingyue's safety that they divorced. He knew very well how much hurt and pain Shen Zhichu had suffered in the process, which led to the good result today.
He shouldn't have disturbed her.
"Zhao Qian, I want to drink."
Zhao Qian was quietly tidying up his things without saying a word.
Seeing that he didn't respond, Li Jingshen continued, "After all, today is her big day."
"Mr. Li, your life will be in danger if you drink now, and there is no wine at home." Zhao Qian had anticipated such a situation a long time ago, so he asked someone to take away all the wine on the wine rack very early. There was really no wine at home, not even a bottle of alcohol.
The light from above shone on Li Jingshen's face, as if it was highlighted with a layer of light. His face was already sickly, and now it was pale and frightening.
Li Jingshen is no longer good-looking now. With a shaved head, he looks like a Buddhist monk. He is very thin, with obvious eye sockets and deep sunken eye sockets. There is not a trace of extra flesh on his body. When he takes off his clothes, his ribs can be clearly seen. He is as thin as a skeleton.
"There's no point in living like this." He relies on medicine to prolong his life.
"But you have to live, don't you?"
Li Jingshen smiled bitterly: "Go out, I want to be alone for a while today."
Zhao Qian understood what he was thinking. After a pause, he went out, leaving the space to him alone.
After Zhao Qian left, Li Jingshen took off the oxygen tank on his face and walked to the computer. He walked a short distance unsteadily and sat on the chair, gasping for breath.
He turned on the computer and searched for Shen Zhichu's name. As soon as he typed the name, the scene of her wedding with Bai Qiujing popped up.
Someone was secretly recording a video. He searched several links before finding a secretly recorded live broadcast. The picture was a little shaky and blurry, but he still recognized it as Shen Zhichu at a glance.
The red color really sets off Shen Zhichu better. She is so dazzlingly beautiful in her red wedding dress.
He looked at the overwhelming red at the wedding scene, and suddenly remembered what Shen Zhichu said that day.
"Li Jingshen, you have never tried to understand me."
It turned out that Shen Zhichu had always liked this kind of wedding. The wedding dress placed next to the sofa was so eye-catching and seemed out of place.
Perhaps, Shen Zhichu didn't dislike the wedding dress he prepared, but just disliked him as a person.
The video continued to play on the computer, and on the lower side were comments of blessings. Li Jingshen saw a comment slide by.
"These two are truly a perfect match."
Li Jingshen couldn't help but curl up the corners of his lips, and a very faint smile hung on his lips. The smile did not reach his eyes, and there was a hint of bitterness.
Some people have praised him and Shen Zhichu before as a perfect match.
Shen Zhichu was afraid of the sudden noise, so she subconsciously covered her ears when the fireworks were shot out. Bai Qiujing, who was beside her, hugged her in his arms and covered her ears with his hands.
With everyone witnessing, the two of them swore their vows, exchanged rings, drank the wedding wine, called their parents and received red envelopes. From then on, Shen Zhichu was no longer alone. She had a family that truly loved her. When she was in pain, there was someone to comfort her, when she was cold, there was someone to hug her, and when she was suffering, there was someone to feed her candy. She lived a peaceful and happy life.
The bright light from the computer screen shone on Li Jingshen's face.
Li Jingshen couldn't watch the wedding live broadcast from beginning to end. He stared at the computer screen, not closing his eyes even when they were dry. His eyes were gray and hazy, until Shen Zhichu's face appeared on the screen, and his eyes briefly lit up.
After a while, he lowered his head and looked at the ring on his finger. The plain and elegant ring glowed faintly under the light.
Zhao Qian went downstairs and asked the chef to cook, all of which were light-flavored meals suitable for patients.
Li Jingshen was born in J City. People in J City generally have light tastes and pay attention to the exquisiteness of the dishes.
The dishes prepared by the chef were suitable for patients and also suited Li Jingshen's taste, but Li Jingshen just couldn't finish a few bites and felt that the food was becoming increasingly tasteless.
Li Jingshen looked at the food Zhao Qian brought up, and he thought of the dishes cooked by Shen Zhichu. She used to cook a full table every night, which was much better than these. Moreover, she cooked them in different ways every day, from the taste to the presentation.
Even after so much time, he traveled to countless places, ate every day, went to various restaurants and tried thousands of flavors, but still no flavor could compare to what Shen Zhichu made. He was truly happy at that time.
When Shen Zhichu fell in love with him, she gave up her favorite dishes and learned to cook light dishes suitable for the taste of people in J City.
Now he was used to light food, and suddenly wanted to try the dishes that Shen Zhichu liked.
"I want spicy food, but my mouth has no taste."
Zhao Qian placed the dishes on the table one by one, and finally handed the chopsticks to Li Jingshen silently: "I think you want to die again."
Li Jingshen took the chopsticks, picked up a piece of green vegetables and ate it. After chewing it twice, he said, "It has no taste and is bitter."
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